POV: HARRY
I come out of the bathroom and I don't see Louis anywhere. Of course he didn't stay. I subconsciously knew it would be like this, but I had little hope that he would stay...
I see a small note on the bed.
"I had to go to work. I had a great time with you, Hazz. I hope we can do it again someday ;) Oh and please don't tell your friends what happened. I know they're your friends, but I would really appreciate it if it stayed just between us. Okay?"
Of course he wants to keep it a secret. It's obvious that Louis is ashamed of me. But this one word soothes my emotions. Hazz. He called me, Hazz.
This is probably my new favorite word.
The page is carelessly torn out. I know from the quality of the paper that he ripped it out of my sketchbook.
I take my notebook in which I draw, I open it to the last page from which Louis tore a piece. I grab some sticky tape from my desk and carefully put the note back on so I don't lose it.
*
I spent the entire winter break at home due to my grounding. It was boring, that's for sure.
We haven't spoken to each other since Louis left my room. Neither he nor I texted each other.
I didn't cut my hair. I decided that maybe the girls were right and I should grow it. During my free time, I was supposed to go to the gym with the boys for the first time, but my mother didn't let me.
But now the winter break is over and so is my detention. Today, after school, I plan to go to the gym with Jake and David. Sarah is supposed to be there too, but I don't know if it's true.
I left the house for the first time in almost two weeks and I must admit, I missed it. Don't get me wrong, I love my home but sometimes I want to get out of it, especially when I'm banned from doing so.
"Oooo our shaggy friend can finally leave the house." Patrick says ruffling my luscious curls.
"What made your mom ground you?" David asks curiously.
I sigh. "Niall had a party and I was a liiiiiittle late..."
"How late?"
"I came back after 3 a.m..."
David laughs. "Damn, party boy."
"Mhm, yeah..."
"How was the party?" Sarah joins the conversation. "Have you kissed anyone?"
"The party was cool but I didn't kiss anyone."
At least not at a party...
"Jesus, you must have been so bored this winter break." Jasmine sighs.
"Yeaaaaaaah...."
It's true, I was bored most of the time... Yeah, MOST of the time.
Jesus I have to tell them. I can't stand it if I have to keep it inside any longer. I know Louis asked me not to tell anyone, but if I tell my friends not to tell anyone, it's like I didn't tell anyone, right?
"I'll tell you something during the lunch break. Get ready because this will blow your mind." I say.
There's no turning back now.
"Uuuuuuu, alright. So, see you there!" Jasmine says with a smile and leaves us because it's time for class.
*
I'm the first one in our place. I'm stressed. Maybe I should listen to Louis. Although he'll probably tell his boys. Right?
I didn't think this through. Well, what can I say? Hey, well, basically I couldn't stop thinking about Louis, I sneaked out of the house to meet him, I came rubbing against his thigh, he stayed at my place for the night and in the morning he fucked me.
Yeaaaaaaah, this is NOT happening.
I'll just say that I met Louis and he stayed the night and if they ask if we had sex, only then will I tell them yes.
I see the silhouettes of my friends approaching.
You can do it, Harry, you just have to tell them that Louis was at your place.
But why? He told me not to tell anybody.
This is stupid idea.
But I can't go long without telling anyone about it.
"Okay, so what is it, Harry?" Jasper asks as all of them sit down.
"Well... During the winter break, I may have snuck out of the house to meet Louis, and he may have stayed the night at my place..." I say slowly.
Jesus this is so embarrassing...
"What?! Louis Tomlinson?! Are you crazy?! Why?!" Jake shouts shocked.
Everyone is surprised except Jasmine and Amy who giggle.
"Why do you find this so funny? It's a tragedy!" Sarah says throwing her hands in the air.
"We already knew that there was something between Harry and Louis." Amy says happy.
"WHAT?! There's SOMETHING between THEM?! Like a love kind of thing?" Jake continues in surprise.
Everyone looks at me with wide eyes. I just nod, feeling myself start to blush.
I see something like fear in the eyes of my friends, especially the boys.
"Well I mean maybe not exactly love, but there's may be... Something. We haven't talked to each other since he left my house. but when we were alone, Louis was like a different person. He even made me breakfast." I explain myself.
"Have you guys been fucking?" Jasper asks unsurely.
I nod.
I see everyone trying to hold back a gasp.
"Was he... Good?" Jennifer asks shyly.
I nod once again.
Jesus, he was divine, not good. I know I've never done something like this with anyone else, but I can already say that it will be difficult for someone to make me feel better than Louis.
"Oh Harry..." David sighs disappointed.
"What?" I look at him.
"He will use it against you whenever he feels threatened. Do you really not know Tomlinson?"
I look down. I know he'll take advantage of it, but I wasn't interested in it at the time.
And Louis also said that if I didn't cause any trouble, he would keep it a secret. I just need to stay aside while our groups argue and I'll be fine.
"Sorry Harry but you're dumb. Like for real. This boy cannot be trusted. Remember how easily he used the information about Jasper's cousin?" Jennifer says.
Fuck she's kinda right. God I feel so bad about what happened now.
"It's just that Louis hates Jasper, and he met Harry in the middle of the night, stayed with him for the night and even made him breakfast. Maybe this is different." Jasmine tries to be on my side and comfort me.
But Jennifer is right. Louis is Louis. He will use it in the first possible situation.
"God I feel so stupid..." I sigh as I hide my face in my hands.
I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder. I look to the side and see Katie.
"Everyone makes mistakes, Harry. Nothing happened." She tries to comfort me.
"Mhm... Yeah..." I mumble.
I take my backpack and go towards school, I know it's still break but I want to be alone. Maybe I made a mistake by telling them about it? Now I feel like what happened over the winter break between me and Louis was set up by him and he did it all just to use it against me in the future.
I walk quickly through the hall and see Louis and his friends against one of the walls. I look in their direction as I walk past them, but Louis, even though he's the only one, who doesn't have his back turned to me he doesn't notice me. He doesn't even glance at me.
I don't get it. He could just at least pretend like I'm not invisible.
I told my friends about me and Louis, now they say I'm a naive kid, and Louis pretends even more than before that I don't exist.
Niall turns around and sees that I'm alone. He waves his hand at me to come closer, which makes the rest of the guys look at me and a slight smile appears on their faces.
I wonder if they know...
I walk over to them and Niall puts his arm around me. After that Louis immediately looks at the arm and how it lays on my shoulders.
"How's it going, Harry? Where are your friends?" Zayn asks nicely.
I scratch my hand. "I'm good... I don't feel like talking to them..."
I see the guys look at Louis who just shrugs with a stoic expression on his face.
"Well you can stay with us for now if you want." Liam says to me.
"Are you guys sure?" After I asked this I look at Louis.
"Yeah, whatever." Tomlinson is talking to me, but his eyes are on the people passing by in the hall.
The five of us are standing, Niall is telling some story from his party but I'm only looking at Louis. He doesn't look at me, he keeps observing the surroundings. It's a bit like we are a herd and he is the leader who keeps us safe.
"Look guys." The oldest boy finally speaks and nods in the direction we should look.
I turn around and see my friends looking at us as well. I feel so bad now. I see anger in Jake's eyes, disappointment in Jennifer and Sarah's eyes, a kind of sadness in Katie and Jasmine's eyes.
I lower my head and turn back to the boys I'm standing with now.
I know I have the right to hang out with whoever I want and no one should have a problem with me about it, but I still feel like I've let them all down.
"They are coming towards us." Zayn says what makes me tense up.
I hope no one, neither my friends nor Louis, will mention that I had sex with Louis.
"Come on, Tomlinson. You already have 3 subjects, you don't have to steal Harry from us." Sarah says.
"Oh but I'm not stealing him, he wants to be here, right Curly?" Louis says nicely.
I just look down. I don't want to be involved in this.
But I guess my reaction was enough of an answer for my friends.
"He fucked you in your house and you immediately went to his side like a little bitch." Jake says to me through gritted teeth.
I look at my friend shocked.
That fucking idiot. I was afraid that Louis would use it first, but I was wrong. Jake took advantage of it the same day I told him about it...
We all stand in silence, looking from Jake to me to Louis.
"Wait what? What are you talking about, McClair?" Niall asks Jake.
Louis chuckles. "Jesus Niall. Can you really believe this asshole? We know him very well and you know that this idiot will come up with the greatest stupidity to win. Of course he's lying. I would never have sex with Harry."
I feel a pang in my heart. I knew he wouldn't admit it, but part of me wanted him to. But why would he? This is Louis Tomlinson.
"Really Jake, you should at least try to come up with something my boys can believe in. They know very well that I would never sleep with Britney. And he know it too, right?" Louis puts his hand on my back.
I feel his thumb making light circles. I get goosebumps.
True, he may have denied that we had sex, but at least now he has his hand on my back and makes those circles with his thumb that I love. And the fact that we are at school, in front of people and someone could see it, is enough for me.
I nod slightly, not making eye contact with anyone.
"Harry?" I hear Jasmine's voice saying my name and I look up.
I see a certain sadness in her eyes. But the rest of them are behind her, everyone is pissed off.
"Let's go, if Styles prefers to hang out with them, so be it. It's his business." Jake says then adds in a quieter voice. "A fucking faggot who only wants popularity..."
After saying this, he leaves. Katie gives me an apologetic look and she and the others follow her boyfriend.
A fucking faggot...
Do they really think that about me? That I'm just a faggot?
"Dickheads... Don't listen to them, Harry." Niall tries to comfort me.
Louis' fingers press harder against my back after Jake's words.
I don't want to be here. Not when my friends thinks I'm a fucking faggot.
I'm going to the restroom. Halfway there, the bell rings but I don't want to go to class because it's PE. And after they changed the lesson plan after the winter break, I now have PE with Jake, David, and Jasper. I don't feel like seeing them.
A fucking faggot...
When I enter the room, I enter the cabin, throw my backpack on the ground and slide down on the wall to the ground. I hide my face in my hands and sigh.
...who only wants popularity.
Fucking Jake. How dare he?! I thought he was my friend...
I would never have sex with Harry.
Louis. Of course this idiot didn't confess. He's a fucking coward. He just seems tough.
Maybe they're right? Who would want to be friends with me? I'm just a fucking faggot, nothing more. But I'm not even good at that since Louis won't admit to having sex with me. Maybe I wasn't good enough...
I feel my cheeks starting to get wet with tears.
Why does this always have to happen to me? Once I feel happy, everything has to go to hell.
"Styles? Are you here?" I hear a man's voice.
"Fuck off, Tomlinson." I say in shaky voice trying now to sound like I'm crying.
"Jesus, Harry... I'm sorry, okay? But for fuck's sake I told you not to tell them. I fucking told you, but of course you didn't listen to me." The boy knocks on my cabin. "Open the door."
"I do not want to see you."
He sighs. I hear the boy sit down on the other side of the door and lean against it. "You can't hide here forever."
"Yes I can."
"Hazz..."
Suddenly someone enters the bathroom. Through the gap between the door and the floor, I see Louis get up immediately.
"Harry? Are you here, mate?"
Jake.
"He's not here, dickhead. What do you want?" Louis says to my friend.
"Fuck you Tomlinson. I'm looking for Harry, we have PE now and he didn't come."
"Are you fucking surprised? You called him a fucking faggot."
I can feel the anger in Louis' voice.
"Oh please Tomlinson, Harry is a fucking gay. Nothing else. And you like the fact that you can use him whenever you want because you too are just a fucking faggot." Jake chuckles.
What the fuck? Does he really think that about me? And since when has Jake been so unpleasant? He always seemed like a nice guy to me.
I try to be as quiet as possible and listen to their conversation.
"Watch your mouth, McClair." Louis says.
"Why should I? Harry is naive, that's a fact, and you like to take advantage of it."
Suddenly I hear a thud and someone falling.
I peek through the crack between the door and the floor. I see Jake lying on the ground, blood pouring from his cheek. Louis crouches down next to him and grabs the boy's hair to make him look behind him.
"Leave Harry alone, you idiot. Are you surprised that he prefers us to you? We both know you're only pretending to like him. I heard you talking to some girls in your junior year about how you were only pretending to be friends with him after they said he was weird." He makes a little pause. "Hmmm, I wonder what your girlfriend would think about you flirting with other girls."
Louis tugs on Jake's hair to get him up, punches him once again and pushes him towards the exit.
"You know what I don't like about people? How disloyal they are to their friends. Now get the fuck out and if someone asks what happened to you, you'll tell them you're just fucking clumsy and you tripped, understand?" Louis says with a noticeable sense of superiority in his voice.
After a moment, I hear the door close and Louis sighs.
"Harry open the goddamn door... Please..." He asks me.
With a shaking hand, I unlock the door and open it.
Louis immediately walks in and closes the door behind him.
He sits down on the ground next to me.
"Why did you hit him?" I ask.
"He has pissed me off. Plus I always feel like punching him. This fucker is so toxic it makes me want to puke. In general, your entire group is just a theater for others."
"What? Why?"
"Jesus Harry, are you really that closed-eyed to reality? Jasmine's older sister, Alice, is a drug addict, Amy tried to kill herself several times in the school bathroom, Sarah slept with half the male population at this school, Katie can't see how Jake is taking advantage of her at every possible turn, I saw Patrick cry several times because David called him fat... Well, overall, there's a lot of it. Nobody is what they seem."
Jesus... I would never have thought of that. Maybe he's right. I mean, he's definitely right because Louis is always watching. Always.
"Why did you deny it when Jake said we had sex?" I asks while still not making eye contact with him.
The boy sighs. "I told you not to tell them because I knew they would use it against you as fast as they can."
"Okay but they know it's true so why would you say that it's not?"
"My boys don't know..."
"Why? They're your best friends."
"They don't know I'm bi, Harry..."
"What? Why? Louis it's very important fact about you."
"I'm too scared to tell them..."
Louis is very introverted. His friends do not know such basic facts about him as his orientation.
"Are you ashamed of me?" I ask shyly.
"What? No. Of course not, it's just the fact you're a boy and... You know."
So he is ashamed of me.
I suddenly feel his lips rest on my neck.
And all my worries disappeared.
"I didn't want to hurt you, Hazz..." He kisses my neck again. "I'm not ashamed of you..."
We both know he is... And we both know that Jake was right...
"Don't..."
He kisses my jaw. "Harry please..."
"Louis..."
The brunette boy kisses my forehead. "I will take care of you, princess... No Jake will talk about you like that again. I'll take care of it."
I hear a hint of danger and darkness in his voice and it makes goosebumps appear on the back of my neck.
"It's okay, Louis. Nothing happened."
"No, Harry. I'll show you that I care about you."
"What will you do to him? Louis don't do anything."
After this little show that Tomlinson just gave me with Jake, I'm a little worried about what the brunette wants to do because I know what he's capable of.
"Let's say I'll take your friend to my work..." He smirks and kisses my hand.
"What work?" I ask confused.
"Don't worry about it."
"Lou..."
"Harry..." The boy takes my face in his hands. "Everything is going to be okay."
I have a different feeling about this.
*
The next day at school I see Jake covered in bruises and I'm sure Louis is responsible for his condition.
McClair looks at me, slightly scared, and if I'm honest, it's a great feeling. I like this feeling of superiority. I walk past Jake and the others and go look for my new friends.
Since yesterday, after this scandal, no one from my group has written to me "I'm sorry", nothing. So I figured Louis was right, they weren't the best, so I asked him yesterday if I could join his group and he said yes.
Maybe it's a bit childish, but I have no intention of hanging out with someone who will dig holes under me whenever the opportunity arises.
I see Niall and the rest of the boys and I smile at them.
I still find it a bit weird hanging out with them, so I don't talk much around them.
I walk over to them and stand between Niall and Liam. Louis stands in front of me and, as usual, watches the people walking down the hall.
"Is he always like this?" I finally ask.
"He does this often. Louis is playing lawman." Zayn laughs lightly and nudges the older boy with his elbow.
"What for?" I ask.
"Who knows? He often shuts down when he does this." Liam says.
After his words, he raises his hand and waves in front of Louis' face, but as soon as he starts doing it, the brunette suddenly grab Liam's hand and look him straight in the eye.
"This time I'm still aware of what you're doing." Louis releases the wrist of the boy next to me.
"Do you guys know what happened to Jake?" I ask.
Louis immediately looks at me.
"I took care of him." He says.
"Mhm, yeah, that's why he's all beaten up?"
"Don't mess with Louis Tomlinson." Niall chuckles.
It feels a bit weird. I've seen Louis beat someone a few times, but not like they ended up like Jake.
Zayn looks at his watch. "Okay guys, time to get ready for class. What do you have now?"
"Me, Niall and Harry have Spanish class." Louis answers.
"Lucky. I have fucking chemistry." Zayn sighs.
"Well I have math now so I understand your pain, mate." Liam pats Zayn's shoulder.
"You guys go, I need to talk to Louis." I say.
Everyone looks at me and then goes to their classrooms and Louis is still standing in front of me.
"What is it?" He asks.
"What did you do to Jake?"
Louis sighs. "Ugh... Jesus Harry..."
"Answer me for fuck's sake."
"It's none of your business."
"It is!" I say annoyed. "For god's sake, Tomlinson... Stop living in constant secrets, damn it, and tell me what this is about. Where do you work?"
"It's not important." He says in a calm voice.
"It is!"
He sighs. "Let's go, we have Spanish now."
I roll my eyes and go with Louis to the classroom.
Why won't he tell me where he works? Why does he have to be so secretive? I won't do anything bad to him.
"Maybe someday I'll tell you, Styles..."
~~~~~~~~
I'm sorry that this chapter is shorter than the previous ones and it may be a bit boring, but it was very difficult for me to write it because I had no idea for it.