[The camera pans out from a nearby screen, focusing on Charlie and as she fixes Charlie's bow.]
Vaggie: "*exhales* Okay! You remember what to say?"
Charlie: "*inhales* Yes! Let's do this!"
Vaggie: "(in a serious tone) Just, look at me and I'll mouth it to you."
Charlie: "Come on, Vaggie! *bends backward* I know what to say! I just feel like we need to...I don't know, *grabs and throws a doughnut away* make things sound more exciting! *Gasps* Hooo! What if I si-"
Vaggie: "*cutting Charlie off* -Sing a song about it?"
Charlie: "You knew I was gonna say that! *boops Vaggie on the nose*"
Vaggie: "Because I know you *fixes her bow again*. But please don't sing! *Shakes Charlie* This is serious!"
(Name): "*Busts through the door* I'M HERE"
Charlie: "(NAME) I'm SO happy you could make it."
(Name): "Of course girl i want to be here to support you."
Charlie: "*She smiles at you before turning back to Vaggie*Well, you know, I'm better at expressing myself and my goals through song!"
[Charlie stands on the table where are happily munching on doughnuts, watching her.]
Vaggie: "But, life isn't a musical, hon. *places hands on hips*"
Charlie: "Fine. But I have these other ideas of what to say! *Starts bouncing a bit as she shows Vaggie a piece of paper* The highlighted bits are the best part!"
Vaggie: "Uh, it's all highlighted. *squints* Is this a drawing...?"
Charlie: "Yes! That's the happy ending, see?! *Begins to fantasize* Everyone smiling and happy in!"
(Name): "Aw it's cute."
Vaggie: "*pinches the bridge of her nose* Yes, it's very cute but I don't think it's that simple. Just please follow the talking points we went over. And *grabs Charlie to face her* do not sing!"
Charlie: "Okay, fiiiine. (in a manly voice) I'll just have to resort to my impeccable improv skills! *Salutes Vaggie as she walks over to Katie Killjoy*"
(Name): "You can do it Charlie*slightly yells*"
Vaggie: "*Looks at Charlie in worry. *"
(Name): "Don't worry Vaggie Charlie's got this. *Places a hand on Vaggie's shoulder*"
Vaggie: "*Looks at you with a small smile. * Yeah, your right, she's got this."
Charlie: "(nervously) Hiii! I'm Charlie. *Tries to go for a handshake*"
Katie Killjoy: "Katie Killjoy. *blows out the smoke of her cigarette* I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you, but that would be a lie. *throws away her cigarette* And you can put that away. *gestures to Charlie's hand* I don't touch the gays. I have standards!"
Charlie: "Yeah? How's uh... how's that working out for ya? *turns to look around nervously*"
Katie Killjoy: "Look, my time is money. So, I'll keep this short. *proceeds to poke Charlie* You're not here because we wanted you here. You're here because Jeffrey couldn't make it for his cannibal cooking segment."
[A billboard of Jeffrey's cannibalism cooking show titled "It's Dahm Good!" can be seen in the background.]
Katie Killjoy: "You might be some royal big shot *fluffs her hair*, but that doesn't mean shit to me. I'm too rich and too influential to give a flying fuck about what some tux-wearing demon *does air quotes with her fingers* "princess" wants to advertise."
[Tom can be seen shaking his head in disapproval as Katie boasts about her wealth and influence on Charlie.]
Charlie: "But I-"
Katie Killjoy: "*continues to poke her chest* So, don't get cute with me, honey, or I will fucking bury you!"
News Staff: "And we're live!"
[Killjoy rushes back to her desk, holding papers while cracking her neck.]
Katie Killjoy: "Welcome back! So, Charlotte!"
Charlie: "It's... Charlie. *smiles nervously as a spotlight flashes her way*"
Katie Killjoy: "Whatever. Tell us about this new passion project you've been insistently pestering our news station about! *tries to hold in her outburst by clenching her pen*"
Charlie: "*looks around as Vaggie motions her to go on* Well, *clears throat and exhales* as most of you know, I was born here in Hell and growing up, I always tried to see the good in everyone around me."
[Killjoy spots a slug and stabs it with her pen, the slug's blood bursts all over.]
Charlie: "Hell is my home and- *gets slug blood splattered across her cheek which she then wipes off* you are my people. We... we just went through another Extermination."
([Vaggie is seen giving Charlie two thumbs up as Killjoy quickly starts to lose interest.]
Charlie: "We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year. No one is even given *slams fist on table, waking Killjoy up* a chance! *walks up from Killjoy's desk* I can't stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such violence! So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? *walks around the audience* Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption? *throws her arm around one of the News Cast's staff members* Well, I think yes! So, that's what this project aims to achieve! *returns to Killjoy's desk* Ladies and gentlemen, I'm opening the first of its kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!"
[Her broadcast is being shown at The Radio Shack, which many other demons are also watching by the streets and everywhere else in Hell.]
Charlie: "*starts to lose her confidence* Y'know? 'Cause hotels are for people passin' through... temporarily..."
Lizard Demon: "Ahahaha! IS this girl for real?! She thinks- *tries to hold in his laughter* You hear what she thinks?! She thi- HAHA! Ah, she's nuts. *walks out of The Kaiju Klub with his friends*"
Charlie: "I think it'll serve a purpose... a place to work toward redemption... yay...!"
[The scene cuts back to the demons watching her broadcast from The Radio Shack. walks up to see her broadcast alongside a bunch of other demons watching such as and a handful of others.]
Cameraman Demon: "*snickers* Stupid bitch."
Vaggie: "*punches the cameraman square in the face*"
(Name): "*Stomps the guy in the face causing him to groan again*"
Charlie: "*looks around, saddened* Look, every single one of you has something good, deep down inside. I know you do! ...Maybe I'm not getting through to you."
([Razzle and Dazzle are then alerted that Charlie's about to sing and that she may need their back-up vocals.]
Vaggie: "*facepalms* Oh, no..."
(Name): "*Claps her hand excitedly*"
[Charlie snaps her fingers as the room turns dark and a spotlight is shown over a piano that Charlie, Razzle and Dazzle start performing on. Meanwhile, back at The Radio Shack, Alastor and his shadow can be seen tilting their heads curiously as their smiles widen.]
Charlie: "♫ I have a dream, I'm here to tell! / *walks away from the piano as two news staff look at each other* About a wonderful fantastic new *takes out a drawing of The Happy Hotel* hotel! ♫"
Charlie: "♫ Yes, it's one-of-a-kind! Right here in Hell, catering to a specific clientele *boops Dazzle's nose*. ♫"
Razzle and Dazzle: "♫ Oooh, ooh, ooh~ ♫"
[Killjoy is in shock as Trench looks around, confused.]
Charlie: "♫ Inside of every demon is a rainbow *throws her arm around the necks of two bird demons*! Inside every sinner is a shiny smile *passes underneath a hellhound's tail*! Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac is a jolly, happy cupcake-loving child *hands the masked demon a sparkling cupcake and pats his head*! ♫"
Charlie: "♫ We can turn them 'round! *turns to Killjoy and Trench* They'll be Heaven-bound! With just a little time, down at The Happy Hotel! *camera pans to the audience where Vaggie stands with a disappointed expression* ♫"
Charlie: "♫ So, all you junkies *takes out syringe from a doll demon's head*, freaks *takes a pic with a Siamese twin demon in its cage*, and weirdos *fends off a several-eyed blob demon*. Creepers *stares at a snail demon out the window*, fuck-ups *boops a couch demon on the nose*, crooks, and zeroes *returns the stolen money to charity*, and down-fallen superheroes *throws her hands behind the necks of two supervillain demons*, help is here! ♫"
Charlie: "♫ All of you cretins *dips her hair into the water by the pier*, sluts *holds out a pair of panties in disgust*, and losers *calls a loser*, sexual deviants *backs away from the sex offenders*, and boozers *turns to face a depressed demon*, and prescription drug abusers *throws away the drugs a blue demon is taking into a burning trash can*, need not fear!"
Charlie: "♫ Forever again *A demon lands on a wheelchair and is pushed by Razzle towards Charlie and Dazzle*, we'll cure your sin *shows the demon her clipboard*! We'll make you well *Dazzle injects a happiness serum into the patient*, you'll feel so swell! Right here in Hell *briefly turns to her full demonic form*, at the Happy Hotel! ♫"
[Razzle continues to aggressively play the piano.]
Charlie: "♫ *slides over to Killjoy's right* There'll be no more fire, *slides over to Trench's left* and no more screams. Just puppy dog kisses *holds a dog close to her face*, and cotton candy dreams *holds out a stick of cotton candy*, and puffy-wuffy clouds *cuddles both the dog and cotton candy*, you're gonna be like "Wow!" *Camera pans out showing the clouds forming the word "Wow!"* Once you check in with meee *shows a check-in chart*! ♫"
[Vaggie is seen with both her hands covering her face, While (Name) hums along with Charlie's singing.]
Charlie: "♫ So, all your cartoon porn addictions *confiscates a neckbeard demon's cartoon porn magazine*, vegan rants *confiscates a vegan demon's Hellphone and takes a selfie with it*, psychic predictions *confiscates the spell books and crystal ball of a psychic demon*, ancient Roman crucifixions *avoids running into a crucified demon and knocks over two other crucified demons*, end right here *throws away all the confiscated items off a cliff*! ♫"
Charlie: "♫ All you monsters *clenches the hands of two monstruous demons*, thieves, and crazies *points finger guns over a dog demon trying to steal baguettes from an insect demon whose hood flares open*, cannibals *tempts the cannibals with a severed arm on a plate*, and crying babies *looks at a possum mother and her rabid babies, annoyed*, frothing mouths that's full of rabies filled with cheer *pulls a hellhound with rabies close to her*! ♫"
Charlie: "♫ You'll be complete *completes a puzzle demon as the camera pans out*! It'll be so neat *a wrecking ball demon destroys the puzzle demon as Charlie gives two thumbs up*! Our service can't be beat *in her doorman uniform*! You'll be on easy street, yes *hugs three demons, which include *! Life will be sweet *turns to her demonic form* at The Happy Hoteeel *twirls happily in flames as she jumps up, revealing a land made of candies and sweets behind her*! Yeah! ♫"
[Charlie ends the song, rather exhausted as everyone in the news station looks at her with disgust and disbelief.]
Top Hat Demon: "Wow! ...That was shit!"
[Everyone in the audience including Killjoy and Trench begin to laugh at Charlie. Charlie looks crushed and devastated and slumps back down to her seat. There was a boo section in the news and the demons look uninterested]
Blue Flame Demon: "*deadpan* Booooo!"
Katie Killjoy: "What in the Nine Circles makes you think a single denizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person?! You have no proof that this little experiment even works! You want people to be good?! Just... because?! *Continues to laugh*"
Charlie: "Well, we have two patrons already, who believes in our cause, and They've shown incredible progress!"
Katie Killjoy: "*feigns shock* Oh? And who might they be?"
Charlie: "*tries to look smug and confident* Oh, just someone people named... (Name) (Last Name) and Angel Dust!"
Tom Trench: "The slutty popstar and the porn star?"
Katie Killjoy: "*turns to him menacingly* You fucking would, Tom! *Turns back to Charlie* In any case, that's not even an accomplishment. I'm sure you could get those hookers to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube *motions doing a hand job*."
Charlie: "Oh, I beg to differ! *Begins to count on her fingers* They've been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now."
News Staff: "*offscreen* Breaking News!"
[Killjoy shoves Charlie off her desk.]
Katie Killjoy: "We are receiving word that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war! Let's go to the live feed."
[The live feed shows Angel Dust stepping on an Egg Boi and throwing a grenade over at Sir Pentious with visible laughter in the background as Charlie stares at the screen in defeat.]
Charlie: Oh...shit.
(Name): "Fucking angel whyyyyyy.*She groans*"
Angel Dust (in the background): "I'm a bad person!
Katie Killjoy: "Oh, shit" indeed! It looks like the one who just joined the battle is none other than *feigns a gasp* porn actor, Angel Dust! *Turns to Charlie as she shakes her fist* What a juicy coincidence! You must feel really stupid, right now."
[Killjoy and Trench proceed to laugh at Charlie.]
Killjoy and Trench: "*does Jazz hands* Ratings! But where is (Name) I'm sure she would join this battle?"
(Name): "I'M OVER HERE BITCH. *Flips her off*"
Katie Killjoy: "*Neck snaps again in annoyance*"
[Charlie stares at the live feed in distress and attempts to block it from the audience's view.]
Charlie: "Don't look at this!"
Katie Killjoy: "Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival. *Looms over Charlie* Tell us, how does it feel to be a total failure? *Everyone in room start bursting into laughter*"
Charlie: "*tries to think of a comeback* Yeah, well... *looks around* How does it feel that I got your pen, huh?! *Grabs Killjoy's ballpen* ...Bitch!"
[Everybody instantly stops laughing while Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench give her the death stare]
Charlie: "*nervously* Ehehe... *puts pen back down* Oops."
[Tom Trench runs off set.]
[Killjoy's demonic form reveals itself as she looms over Charlie from the shadows.]