[The logo for 666 News is shown on a black background, which is followed by the day's newscast.]
: "Good afternoon, I'm Katie Killjoy."
: "And I'm Tom Trench! Chaos out at Pentagram City today as a turf war is raging on the west side!"
[An image of Sir Pentious trying to be hip, followed by a drawing of Cherri flipping the bird is shown.]
Tom Trench: "Between notable kingpin, Sir Pentious, and self-proclaimed spunky powerhouse, Cherri Bomb!"
Katie Killjoy: "That's right, Tom! After the recent Extermination, many areas are now up for grabs! Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory!"
[A live clip of Cherri and Sir Pentious's clash is shown.]
Tom Trench: "Those two seem to be really going at it, huh?"
Katie Killjoy: "Looks like they're fighting tooth and nail *fishes out a tooth and a nail respectively from her mug of coffee* for that hot spot! *proceeds to swallow said tooth and nail*"
Tom Trench: *looking over at the live broadcast focusing on Cherri* And I'd sure like to nail her hot spot! *wiggles eyebrows* Hoohoo!
Katie Killjoy: "Haha, you are a limp-dick jackass, Tom! Or should I say - *pours scalding hot coffee onto his crotch* no dick?"
Tom Trench: "*curls over in pain* Ugh...not again!"
(Screen shows a picture of Charlie as Tom can still be heard whimpering in pain in the background.)
Katie Killjoy: "Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of Hell's own head honcho who's here to discuss her brand new passion project! All that and more, after the break! *crushes her mug in her hand and turns to Trench who's still in pain* Suck it up, you little bi-!"
(The news cast cuts off and goes on a commercial break.)