After Gu Siyu dropped out of school, she never touched a book again. She has always struggled to get over the hurdle in her heart. Now, speaking those words to the Ye family is completely a matter of brazening it out.
Grandpa Ye didn't make fun of her. He just asked her gently why she suddenly wanted to study. Everything should have a reason.
"It's just... just feel like I need to do something, or else it's all in vain." Gu Siyu spoke in a low voice, almost inaudible to herself. "I didn't have the opportunity to study before, now I should have some skill, so as not to be eliminated by society."
In just a few brief sentences, Gu Siyu blushed. After leaving Ye Qinghe's house, she deeply exhaled, even though he agreed to help her, she still felt a bit overwhelmed.
Gu Siyu turned her head and looked at Ye Qinghe's house, which was very large. The land area was so vast that she couldn't gesture it out with her hands. She couldn't see the back from the front. It was similar in size to the estate where Huo Junxian's mother lived, a symbol of wealth.
Ye Qinghe's family was wealthy, to be precise, it was her grandfather who was wealthy. Her grandfather was involved in investments, and in recent years, his investments had skyrocketed, causing his net worth to soar.
In the earlier years, their family was impoverished, experiencing losses in whatever they invested in. They lived like beggars.
Investing is highly risky; it's akin to gambling if done blindly. However, if one guesses right, they quickly become wealthy.
But in the early years, burdened by debts, the grandfather couldn't take care of his children. His son fell into drug addiction, gambled away everything at the table, and his wife left him. One granddaughter followed her son, and the other followed her mother.
When his situation improved a bit, he wanted to find his family, only to discover that one granddaughter had died from domestic violence, and the other, due to her mother's death, had been left unattended.
Filled with guilt, the grandfather went back to the country to bring the granddaughter abroad. He would spoil her with whatever she wanted.
Gu Siyu became acquainted with Ye Qinghe, who had already been living abroad for a few years and was already quite wealthy at that time.
During that period, Gu Siyu was in her adolescence and admired Ye Qinghe. She even felt a bit jealous. Why was Ye Qinghe's grandfather so rich, while her own grandfather only cursed at her, calling her a jinx who landed her father in prison?
When fate bestows misfortune upon someone, it sometimes accompanies it with rare good luck. However, most of the time, after bestowing misfortune, it habitually forgets about the good luck.
Sitting on the roadside to calm her emotions, Gu Siyu felt restless.
Because she was about to face many things, she couldn't control her emotions in a timely manner. Is it really okay for someone her age to go back to school? Will she be able to learn anything?
Anxious thoughts raced through her mind.
She consoled herself, telling herself that she might not be too bad off, at least she had met Huo Junxian.
Huo Junxian treated her well.
She needed to make an effort, Gu Siyu comforted herself.
Yet, there were times when she couldn't hold back her thoughts. She would toss and turn, losing sleep at night, feeling out of sorts during the day. Every day passed slowly, and since going abroad, she hadn't seen that person again.
They say that keeping busy helps control one's thoughts, but that's just an excuse. In reality, even when busy, thoughts of that person could invade her mind.
During holidays, Grandpa Ye would invite Gu Siyu to dinner, asking her not to be reserved. Every time, she would bring gifts. She enjoyed chatting with the old man; his words were philosophical.
Many times, she could sense the old man's attitude towards her. It was good, but it felt more like compensating for the deceased granddaughter. However, it didn't matter; she was using Duan Xiqian's name to seek help from others. Accompanying him a bit didn't bother her.
The old man liked reminiscing about the past, but Gu Siyu couldn't remember much from her childhood. She only remembered that Duan Xiqian saved money to buy candy for her, shared half of her cookies, and took her out to play.
Even her braids were done by Duan Xiqian.
The old man said, "You must have been the saddest after she left, at such a young age, losing even a friend."
Gu Siyu said, "Back then, it was more fear than sadness. There wasn't time to be sad. By the time I understood what sadness was, I had already grown up, and I don't remember anymore."
"Have you encountered anything sad since coming abroad? When your heart heals, you should go back in time to see, or else it might be too late."
Gu Siyu thought for a while. When she was about to answer, the old man suddenly coughed. The maid and the doctor rushed over, and Gu Siyu stood by, unable to help. Once the old man was confirmed to be fine, she walked back to her rented house.
She came abroad to seek freedom, but in an unfamiliar place, there was no talk of freedom; there was only boundless loneliness. The better times were when she thought of Huo Junxian, feeling no suffocation, only recalling various details of her past life.
They watched the sea together, rode motorcycles, and cooked.
These were irreplaceable experiences with others, and they always left a sweet feeling in her heart.
Gu Siyu was beautiful, and living abroad, she encountered enthusiastic foreigners pursuing her, inviting her to coffee shops and confessing their feelings. Internally, Gu Siyu resisted; aside from Huo Junxian, she probably wouldn't like anyone else. Her only heartthrob had long been given away.
As time passed, there was no New Year celebration abroad; they only celebrated Christmas. Gu Siyu wasn't interested in this holiday; she usually spent it alone, looking out of the window when bored.
Snow was falling.
The domestic news kept broadcasting New Year messages. With a casual swipe, she could see many places' fireworks displays. In the winter night, numerous dazzling flowers bloomed.
Gu Siyu received a message; Ye Qinghe's grandfather invited her for dinner and said if she felt lonely, she could come over often.
As snowflakes floated in the sky, Gu Siyu replied with thanks and bought a gift, delivering it early.
This year, the snow was deep. Standing in the snow, Gu Siyu unintentionally left deep footprints. When she came back to her senses, her feet were already frozen.
She tried to tilt her head, attempting to look into the house through the gap. The gate was tightly closed, and the courtyard was covered with a layer of ice and snow. Apart from the vast expanse of white, nothing else was visible.
After brushing off the snowflakes on the iron gate and looking inside, someone shouted at her, asking what she was doing. Gu Siyu raised her hand to cover her face.
"What are you doing?" asked the property manager.
Gu Siyu didn't say anything, pulled up her pant legs, and ran outside.
Thinking she was a thief, the property manager chased after her. Gu Siyu almost fell several times, and finally, she ran out of the community. She patted the snow off her body.
Gu Siyu put her phone back in her pocket.
Leaning against a tree, she gasped for breath, looking back at the community. With her hands in her pockets, she slowly walked along the road.
There were many people on the road for the New Year, mostly cars. The road was congested, honking echoing continuously.
Glancing at the road, Gu Siyu withdrew her gaze and continued walking forward. She took out her earphones from her pocket and played a listening exercise at random.
Listening, she continued to look at the traffic on that side of the road.
The traffic started moving.
A black Maybach was stuck in the middle. It only got its turn after the cars in front had passed, but it only moved a few steps before getting stuck again.
Blocked for half an hour near the doorstep, they struggled to drive the car to the entrance of the community. Afraid that the road ahead wasn't good, Huo Junxian simply got out of the car. She was wearing a black coat with a thick scarf wrapped around her neck, and she still smiled gently.
There was also another woman who got out of the car with her. The woman was tall, wearing a short black down jacket, and her pants were tucked into her boots.
The two walked towards the community together. The woman was a new face, tall and slender. They spoke softly, with Huo Junxian occasionally nodding, but most of the time, the woman did the talking.
The distance to the community entrance was only about twenty steps, and soon they couldn't be seen clearly.
Huo Junxian looked at the road outside the community, where there was a crowded crowd of people coming and going. The ground was too smooth from being stepped on, and many people would slip a little while walking.
She squinted, exhaling white puffs of air, saying, "What do you want to do the most? I want to find her the most, make her belong to me, love only me, and see only me in her eyes."
The woman said, "From the perspective of love, what you are thinking is possessiveness, which is normal. However, you should keep it in your heart. You need to lock yourself away, not others."
Huo Junxian's gaze passed over her face without saying much.
"Do you regret the current outcome?" the woman asked.
Huo Junxian pursed her lips.
Regret?
More or less.
At first, she blamed herself for not holding on tighter, being too soft-hearted. She should have tied her up, restrained her tightly. But when she thought about the lively scene during the festival...
Others have a home to return to, but that person is still wandering. It's especially heartbreaking, and at that time, she couldn't bear to tighten the reins. It was this sense of heartache that prevented her from doing so.
"Maybe the person who took her away is very skilled. After all, she has been hiding until now without revealing any flaws. Maybe she's doing well." Huo Junxian smiled bitterly. "Otherwise, why wouldn't she come back?"
She had her own way of thinking, quite stubborn.
Some personalities can't be understood in just a few sentences.
Huo Junxian lowered her gaze, then raised it again. In the icy world, surprisingly, there was no hint of anger. She looked at the psychologist, and her lips moved slightly, as if sending out a distress signal, asking, "Can you help me find her?"
Since dealing with Huo Junxian, the psychologist had tried various methods. She had to admit that Huo Junxian was different from other patients. She was intelligent, with her own fixed mindset. If she tried to correct her thoughts, Huo Junxian would use the most suitable arguments to overturn the opposing views.
Sometimes, her psychology was even better than the doctor's. When asked about the reason, Huo Junxian had already read books on psychology.
Huo Junxian said, "Unfortunately, you might be like the doctors I've encountered before and not be able to cure me."
Correcting Huo Junxian's thoughts blindly would make her question the professionalism of the psychologist. As an excellent psychologist, being hired at a high price and still treating her employer with this mindset was indeed inappropriate.
The psychologist didn't directly give an answer. After thinking for a moment, she said seriously, "Restraining someone is illegal. However, I can help you capture her heart."
"Similarly, I am sure she will come to you."
"What do I need to do?" Huo Junxian retracted her gaze to look at her.
The psychologist said, "Wait until she personally delivers the information to you. However, before that, we can create something to entice her to come out."
Huo Junxian said, "I have nothing left to keep her, money, intimacy, she has it all."
"That's just on the surface. Fundamentally, it's because she loves you. If you love her, envy everyone around her, so you restrain her. If she envies the people around you, what then?"
The snowfall became heavier, and the day was very cold, blowing out only cold air. It was too cold; fire was needed for warmth.
The psychologist pointed to the road ahead, saying, "If you think what I said makes sense, you can come to my house to find me. It's too cold, and I'll go home first to warm up."
Huo Junxian nodded. After the doctor left, she took out the cigarette from her pocket.
Many things were emptied after Gu Siyu left, and what was left had no scent. She searched everywhere and found only the cigarettes she had hidden in a drawer.
The smell was unpleasant, the worst for Huo Junxian. Whenever Gu Siyu wanted to escape or resist her, she would smoke.
The first time she smoked, she didn't feel anything special. Her throat was dry, and it became more uncomfortable the more she smoked. The second time, she unconsciously lit up again.
Huo Junxian quietly leaned against the tree. The branches swayed gently, and the snow fell off the tree branches and leaves. She changed her posture, propping herself against the tree with her arms. The sparks of fire couldn't be felt, and it went out when it burned to the end.
She didn't know if the doctor's method would work, but she had heard that she had cured many patients. Sometimes, when there was no way out, she was willing to try anything.
After the cigarette burned out, Huo Junxian grabbed a handful of snow, wrapped the cigarette in it, and slowly walked towards the community.
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The author has something to say:
Today, I only updated a little.
There are some things to attend to, and I'll try to update more tomorrow. Let them reunite, provide some assistance, and help each other out.
Translator's note: What kind method does the phycologist do? I'm looking forward to it. Hahaha...
TO BE CONTINUE...