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Chapter Twenty Three
" for kissing you "
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The locker room buzzed, the players getting ready for the days practice as Tallulla fiddled about with the camera in her hands and the settings she was trying to get use to. Usually she tried to use vintage camera to take film pictures, but she had gotten a new one since going back to work she had fallen in love with when she went home.
The only problem was is that she still wasn't entirely use to it, or its settings. She sat in the usual corner of the room as Keeley walked in. There was still so much tension from Jamie coming back, she hadn't spoken a word to him since he come to his first practice back. She watched him out the corner of her eye tying up his boots.
"Knock, knock!" Keeley called into the room, making attention move from the team conversation to the woman walking in. She moved to talk to Sam ad Tallulla's attention turned back to the camera in her hand. She eventually gave up and decided to just get out her camcorder and film today instead of taking photos.
She rifled through her bag her bag hearing some of the converstation every now and then, "I'm confused is this an ad for ugly people?" Laughter, "Congrautations, amigo. I can't wait to see these up in the tube station." Dani's voice could be heard. "Yeah, so I can draw a dick on his face." Issac cut in, "Bro, why you wearing your kit on the plane?"
The another voice made everyone stop laughing and Tallulla to look up from her bag, " 'cause it's the only way they'll know he's a footballer." The players turned towards the boy for a second. Tallulla made eye contact with Jamie before she quickly looked back into her bag.
Keeley turned to leave the room before stopping once again, "Oh, boys. Will you remeber to sign up dating app that I emailed you about? It would really help draw some traction if there were some young, hot footballers on there." The player erupted into wolf whistles and 'oohs'.
"Keeley, what's the name again?" Richard asked from his spot on the bench.
"Bantr, B-A-N-T-R." Keeley stated.
"Oh, like Grindr." Colin pointed out.
"Yeah," Keeley nodded, "Promise me you'll all check it out."
Everyone agreed before Keeley headed out of the locker room, Ted taking her place and beginning to make his usual big talk, "Okay, fellas. Got a big game this weekend. What are we looking at, Coach?"
"Very physical." Beard anwsered.
"Okay. All right. Anything else?" Ted inquired.
"Borderline violent."
"Mm-hmm. You heard the man. Still can't believe y'all don't have pads in this sport. It's amazing—" Ted was cut off by a Mancunian accent.
"Sorry coach, do you mind if I say something please?"
"Yeah. No, sure, Jamie. Come on up, yeah." Ted beckoned Jamie up to the front of the room. Tallulla from the corner, already furrowing her eyes at the boy.
"Thanks." Jamie started, "I know I wasn't the greatest teammate. I did some shitty things. I said some shitty things. But I want each and every one of you to know that I'm truly sorry and I'm ready to do whatever it takes to make it up to ya. Yeah?"
"You called me a jaundiced worm." Colin spoke out.
"Right, yeah. And I'm sorry about that, Colin."
"In a profile for my hometown paper." Colin continued followed by an awkward silence.
Bumbercatch spoke up, "You hit on my mum. In front of my dad."
Jamie stammered looking over at Tallulla for help, who continued to not acknowledge him, "I apologize for that, Bumbercatch. Uh, please tell your father I'm sorry. Um, and give Janet me best, yeah?"
Richard then made his statment of Jamie hate in french. "Oh, he said that you cupped a fart and put it in his face," Another player translated, "Sounds better in French."
"Yeah. I know. I do... I do remember that and I'm... I'm sorry. Um... Hey, is there anyone else?" Jamie asked letting an uproar of Jamie PTSD arise with all the players.
"You got us relegated, mate." "I don't know you, but I don't like you." "I am not a worm."
Ted cut everyone off, "Okay. Okay, okay, fellas. All right. That's good. Good apology. Way to get the ball rolling. Okay. Come on, guys. Let's go. Let's get out on the pitch. Settle it out there. Let's go, Richmond! Here we go now. Come on."
All the player and coaches left the room, leaving Tallulla in the corner of the room, looking in her bag. The camera wasn't in there but she didn't have the heart to find it really. She looked up from her bag to see one player still left in the room. Jamie Tartt stared at the girl looking rather dejected but hopeful as he gazed at her.
"Ulla, I wanted to say sorry."
Tallulla shook her head and moved past him sighing, "What are you sorry for Jamie?"
He took a nervous gulp, "For kissing you."
She froze and turned around to look at him, "What?"
"I'm sorry for kissing you, it was wrong and I took advantage of you and I never should have done it, it was stupid," The boy rambled, "I'm so sorry Ulla."
"Jamie it's okay." She moved to stand infront of him, "I'm sorry too."
"What are you sorry for?"
"For saying you should get a new person," She wrapped her arms around the green eyed boy, which he happily accepted, "Please don't get a new person Jamie Tartt, I still want to be yours."
"I wasn't planning on it." They held on to each other for a moment before they finally let go. "They really hate me, don't they?" He sighed making the girl chuckle.
"Not with out good reason." She argued, they both began walking out of the locker room and onto the training pitch. Tallulla beaming about having her person back. "You changed your hair, I like it better now that it's grown out." She made him smile shyly.
"You changed yours too." He pointed to her now wavey hair.
"Yeah, I stopped straighting it." They made comfortable conversation, "It's been saving me a bunch of time in the morning."
"I always thought your hair was naturally straight."
"No, its always took me like a hour to straighten it each day."
"Well I like it better wavey, makes you look like you've just been to the beach." Jamie finished as he ran out to join the other players.
A small smile could be seen on the girl's face as she took her place inbetween Ted and Beard. She watch him join the other player, their chatting instantly stopping once the boy joined them. Her eyebrows slightly furrowed together at their behavior, though she couldn't really blame them.
"You have a nice talk with Jamie?" Beard whispered to her so that Nate couldn't hear. The girl narrowed her eyes and looked toward the two men on either side of her. "I don't know what your talking about gentlemen."
She took her spot on the sidelines, moving away from the coaches and sitting on the frozen ground. The girl watched as Jamie was called over to the coaches, fake punching the air making the girl giggle. Jamie turned to smile at the girl, hearing her laughter from a distance. He then moved back grabbing a reserve jersey from Will.
The play began, Jamie weaving in and out of his opponent's way with the ball before Sam slid inbetween his legs, much like Roy had done months ago and knocked Jamie over. He hit the ground hard. Tallulla sat up from her spot instantly, worried about Jamie. Sam stood over Jamie, saying something that again Tallulla could not here.
She watched as Sam instead of helping his team mate, rubbed his head in a taunting manner and moved away from the man on the ground. Tallulla got up from her spot on the icy earth and went over to offer up her hand. "Thanks Ulla." He grabbed on to her and got up from his spot. "You okay?" The ginger asked looking him up and down for any injuries.
"Yeah, nothing wrong 'bout it..." He looked in the direction of Sam.
Tallulla watched him look over, "Give it time, you were a dick to him for a majority of your time knowing him." Jamie sighed, knowing the girl was right.
AFTER PRACTICE
It was later in the day, practice had finished and Tallulla had decided she was done with her work for the day. She had begun to pack her things getting ready to leave. The coaches office was empty. The girl sat at Ted's desk knowing that the coach wouldn't mind. The girl sat there for a moment, finished packing all her things back into her bag.
Her eyes moved unaware of what she was looking for until she finally spotted it. Tallulla stared at her office door. It was a light grey, with a tiny rectangle window nestled into it. She had never really stared at her door until that moment, but to be far she had never really had a reason to stare at the door.
Through the window she could see some of the pictures she had put up. The ones of the team she had taken years ago now, others of the band she had grown up with now covered in a light layer of dust, the red sox penent she had brought with her from her father's office, now hung slightly aray.
Tallulla's hand reached out to grip the silver door knob. The metal was cold, but it felt firmillar, almost like a hand she had shaken before. She took a deep breath and pushed open the door.
A faint smell of pine from a candle that sat on her desk hit her nose. That and the smell of dust, she stared at the dark office. In all honesty it felt good to be in the tiny room. She moved around her desk and slowly sat down in her chair. She looked over the table finding a green army man.
The girl reached out her hand, grabbing the little, green, army man. He looked to be carrying a drum, she turned him over in her hand, then moved her attention to the note that was on her desk. "Find your path." The words written in Ted Lasso's messy handwriting and signed with a mustached man.
Tallulla smiled at the note the man had left her. It seemed like years ago since she had first read it. Years ago that she had decided to go to Rebecca's office and quit. Years ago since Jamie had kissed her. In the back of her mind she thought of Davis, Davis who was so sweet and so kind to her. Davis who had been nothing but helpful and commited to the ginger.
There was a knock on the office door, making Tallulla who had been deep in thought jump. "Sorry didn't mean to scare ya." Jamie's voice spoke, his head peaking into the tiny office, "I was wondering if you want a ride home?"
"Oh," She had almost forgotten about her usual ride homes with Jamie she use to take. Usually she would have jumped at the question with a resounding 'yes', but with Davis at the fore front of her mind she responded, "Sorry Jamie, can't tonight. But thank you." She paused in front of him, about to leave the office, "It's good to have you back Jamie."
Jamie gave her a puzzled look wondering why she didn't accept the ride, but foced himself to speak anyway, "Yeah, good to be back with you Ulla."
Tallulla walked out of the the building and began her journey home. The girl's breaths were coming out in white puffs and she wished that she had brought a bigger coat. Slight flurries were coming from the grey sky above, making the girl stick out her tounge trying to catch some.
As she made her trip, she couldn't help but think back to Jamie. Practice was hard today, but it had been hard every day since he had come back, she was just happy that she had finally gotten past the coffee shop error on her parts. She hated that at the end of the day that she thought of him instead of Davis.
She entered her apartment building walking up the flights of stairs for her to reach her apartment door. She fumbled with her keys but before unlocking it Davis opened it for her. "Hey babe." The dirty blode haired boy leaned down to give her a kiss which she accepted.
The kiss didn't feel like anything though and that's what Tallulla hated about it. It was coming from such a sweet and loving man but she felt nothing, and yet the boy was looking at her with such deep love in his eyes that Tallulla couldn't help but feel bad.
"I missed you today leanabh, how was your day at work?" He moved away from her, going back into the kitchen where he was making them dinner.
"Work was good, I finally went back into my office." She told him setting her bag down.
The boy put the spoon down he was using to stir, turning back to look at Tallulla again. "That's amazing leanabh," He moved to wrap his arm around her, engulfing her in a hug before speaking, "I missed you today."
"I missed you too." She responded automatically.
THE NEXT DAY
Tallulla sat in her office, the door wide open listening to a meeting of the diamond dogs. It felt weird to be back in her office. Weird but good. She propped her head up on her hand as she listened to the chatter of the older men.
"So I downloaded Bantr last night." Nate started to which Ted made an 'oooh' sound.
"Hmm, looking for a lady, hey?" Higgin's questioned.
"Oh, God, no. No, I deleted it immediately. Besides, I am very picky when it comes to women." His eyes met Tallulla's to which she grimaced slightly, ever since he had gotten his coaching job he had been act weird.
"Oh, yeah?" Higgin's seemed just as unimpressed with him as Tallulla did.
"Yeah. Oh, yeah." Nathan gave a hard swallow before looking down, "But women are pretty picky too, so..."
There was an awkward silence before Ted spoke up, "Yeah, I'm not really looking for anything romantic right now either. But, boy, what if I did get on there and I met my soulmate and it changed the whole course of my life. That'd be pretty neato. Yeah?" The other's gave a nod of agreement before Ted turned towards Beard, "What about you, Coach? You get on there yet?"
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Uh, Jane and I took a big step forward in our relationship this weekend. We are now sharing an iCloud account." Beard shared. "They call it digital intimacy."
"Ooh, so if she found out that you downloaded a dating app..." Higgin's trailed off.
"She would destroy my phone with pliers and a blowtorch." Beard nodded before turning his attention to Tallulla who watched as their eyes all turned towards her.
"What?" She questioned her eyebrows furrowing.
"What do you have goin' on Bambi, what's the haps on Bambi Boulevard?" Ted inquired.
"Well... nothing is really happening." She didn't know why she lied, she didn't know why she would tell them about her amazing, kind, caring boyfriend who was currently sitting in her apartment. "I actually have a meeting to get to...so..." She trailed off standing up from her desk and moving out of the room to find Doctor Sharon's office.
She knocked on her door, hoping that she wasn't in a meeting with anyone. "Come in." The doctor called from behind the door. Tallulla opened the door smiling at the doctor who smiled back at the younger girl. "Tallulla how can I help you?"
"I was wondering if you have time for a session?"
"Of course, how about you sit down." She gestured for the girl to take a seat, grabbing a note pad out a filing cabinet before taking the set across from her. "What's on your mind Tallulla?" She began.
"Well you know that person that I talked about last time?"
"The one you said you were in love with but went away?"
"Yeah, that's the one." She breathed out shakeyly, "The person is... back."
"Okay, is this a good or a bad thing?" The woman gave the redhead a questioning look.
"I'm not sure... but I don't think I like Davis anymore, at least I don't like him as much as I should."
"So... what are you going to do?" Sharon gave the girl a slight eye roll.
"Hey, you can't judge me! Your suppose to support me." She pointed her finger in an accusiory manner.
"I'm not judging you, well thats not true I am." Sharon adjusted herself in her seat, "Tallulla, from what I have learned about you from both yourself and your so called 'people', I have learned that you are a very smart girl."
"Thank you?" Tallulla was confused by the statment, knowing it was leading to something.
"But you are so dumb about this!" Sharon threw her hands in the air. "I mean honestly, you know who you love, but you stand there dating someone that you don't!"
"Hey that's not fare, I don't know if I love him, and— and what if I leave Davis and I find out that the person I think I love doesn't love me back?" Tallulla asked, her tone raised.
"Then at least you have done something. Tallulla you know your in love with this person, the way you described this person, the way you feel. You're in love." She stated.
"He moved across to England for me and now I'm just going to tell him that I don't love him?" Her voice was now lowered to barley above a whisper.
"Tallulla, what do you think is a better option, saying that you love Davis even though you don't, leading him on for months, him proposing and you saying yes becuase you don't want to be alone. You living the rest of your life trying to come to terms with the fact that you let the one you truly love get away." Sharon finished getting up from her seat and grabbing her coat while Tallulla stayed silent.
"I just don't want to be alone anymore." The girl mumbled.
Sharon paused what she was doing and moved beside the girl bending down and grabbing a hold of the girl's hand. "You haven't been alone for a while Tallulla. You said it yourself, your people are here." She stood up, "Now come on, practice has already started."
"Okay."
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Blu Speaks!
Fun fact: When it comes to naming characters I love to research. Tallulla is a scottish name that was popular in the 1990's, around the time I wanted Tallulla to be born. Davis, I used as a sort of Easter Egg from La La Land, the man Mia was married to in the end was named David, but I wanted a more Europen take on the name so I went with Davis instead of David. Kitty, Tallulla's dog, I actually named after Kitty Forman, the mom from that 70's show, where a red head falls in love with a geeky guy. Which reminded me of Tallulla and Jamie.