Ziyad
A week since I last saw her, a week since I was forced to stay at home and only go to work when I was needed. With Mubarak's wedding only 10 days away, the house was busy with family members and so I was not only forced to have the alone time I was trying to avoid so I wouldn't have to face my feelings that got me into this mess in the first place, i was also forced to interact with people.
I was bored and on the verge of losing my mind when the groom himself called me.
"Ayo, you free?" He greeted.
"Well, wa alaykum salaam Mubarak I'm good alhamdulillah." I reply.
"Dallah for real, I'm going somewhere and I thought maybe you'd want to come along and use some fresh air but..."
"I'm outside, pick me up." I speed to the door grabbing my crocs.
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"So where are we going?" I strap on my seatbelt.
"I'm going to get some cap fittings done and then I'll be going to get my kaftan for the the wedding day." He starts to drive.
"Cool." I say and the car goes silent and the only thing that could be heard was the chitchat coming from the radio.
"I'm gonna be real with you..." I begin "....I was a jerk the past few weeks and you were only trying to help. I'm sorry for that."
"It's okay. I was actually worried you had started doing drugs or something." He shrugs.
"You have got to be kidding me..." I exclaim and he laughs.
"I'm being serious. You weren't eating, you were getting weaker and paler, you were avoiding everyone and switching off your phone..." he kept listing.
"Aiiit Aiit chill!" I wave my hand.
"But really...what's going on with you?" He glances at me.
My heart skips as I recall everything that happened. "I don't even know where to begin."
"It's Hidaya, isn't it?" He questions.
"Yeah..." I wipe my face with my hand.
"Talk to me man...what is it?"
I proceeded to tell him everything that happened, every part of it.
"I pushed her away..." I feel my voice breaking and my eyes stinging. "...the one person that actually made me feel something Mubarak. I pushed her away, ignored her." Hot tears make their way down my face but I didn't wipe them, I should feel every tear, every emotion, every pain. I deserve it.
"I...I didn't know that happened. I can recall you weren't yourself after we went to say hi, you were being a real jerk..." he nods to that making me laugh and I wipe my tears. "...But I think we both know why you're the way you are now, you can't let the past hold you from the future Ziyad. If you love her why not tell her?"
"I don't know, I've been trying to but I just can't for some reason. I know I love her, it's like she runs in my veins. But I don't know how I can't tell her, Wallahi it's the worst feeling ever." I rest my head on my hand.
"Look you just have to man up to your feelings and fears. Tell her how you feel, not everyone is like Maryam." I wince at the mention of her name.
"She's a part of my past that I've burned and buried a long time ago Mubarak." I hiss.
"It doesn't seem like that to me, it's obviously still affecting you." He throws his hands around.
"It's not. Let's just leave it at that." I look out the window.
"Well...her graduation is coming up right? Why not surprise her? Go see her." He suggests and my eyebrows go up as I remember the upcoming event.
"Yes, you're absolutely right! Wait..." I bring out my phone to check the date. I look for Hidaya's contact but nothing comes up on her status but just before I sigh in defeat I look for Hafiz's contact and luckily he posted the invitation almost 23hours ago inviting family and friends to celebrate with him and the family. I quickly take a screenshot and zoom in on the date.
"This...if I'm right this is the same date as your wedding day right?" I pass the phone to him.
"Yeah, same time too." He glances at the phone before passing the phone back to me. I go silent for a little bit thinking about how to attend both really important events.
"Muhammadu." He calls.
"Yeah?" I snap out of my thoughts.
"You're not missing my wedding!" He states making me laugh.
"Don't worry, I can't miss your wedding even if I wanted to." I tap him on the shoulder. "I can an hour after, after all this is a Nigerian event, people will always be late." I say and he nods in agreement.
Now I just have to secure an invitation and I'll get to make things right insha Allah. I sigh somewhat relaxing into the seat.
Hidaya I'm coming for you, insha Allah I'm gonna make you mine.
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