✧𝙽𝚘𝚊𝚑✧
I feel like it's kind of obvious that I haven't exactly spoken to my parents that much recently. Like...at all. Since Thanksgiving.
They've talked to me though, if that counts. I just haven't really felt like talking back.
I don't really want to start now, to be honest. But there are some factors beginning to pop up that kind of force me to. For one, Kiara says Cameron would like to invite my parents to his birthday party. And I guess she either couldn't talk him out of it or didn't even try. So, now I get to talk to them.
I think even if he decided to change his mind and not invite them, I'd still have to talk to them. Aaliyah's starting to notice my absence at the dinner table when my mom decides she wants the family over. It's only happened a couple of times, but each time she texted and told me our mother was fuming the entire time. It's beginning to worry Aaliyah, and she keeps asking if I'm done with our parents or what. It's not an idea she's any kind of used to, and I'm sure that change probably scares her. All change scares that poor kid.
It's not like she's not old enough to know that sometimes it's better when families take breaks from each other. Breaks that are permanent. She knows that, and I'm sure she doesn't have a hard time wrapping her head around the concept of one of us never speaking to our parents again. Even still, her empathy or whatever keeps her from being that one. And me being the one means she now feels bad for them and lets them around Elaina a little more.
So, I force myself to show up to the dinner table this time. My mom looks satisfied for about ten seconds before she decides no one can be happy ever. "Well...this is nice. It'd be nicer if all of our grandbabies were at the table." She sighs as she mostly watches me.
I mock her dramatic sigh and look over at Aaliyah. "Yeah, Aaliyah. All of the grandbabies." I shake my head in disapproval at her.
She frowns as she drops her hands below the table to her stomach. "The baby still has a bit." She reasons. I tip my chin up, still watching her with disapproval as if it's her fault another grandkid is sat at the table with us.
My mom huffs, having had enough of our little show. "I meant Cameron." She grumbles bitterly. "The grandson I still haven't properly met." Her narrowed eyes settle on me. "How often are you around him? Clearly not enough if I haven't seen him since Thanksgiving." It's her turn now to turn the looks of disapproval my way.
I intend to ignore her, but the last person I expected to say something opens her mouth. "Actually, Noah's around him a lot." Aaliyah hums. She finds her voice to speak up but keeps her eyes down as she spoon feeds Elaina her green beans just so she'll eat them. She'll only do it for the airplane spoon. "He actually probably just came from Kiara's."
I grin because I did, in fact, just come from Kiara's.
"Well, then how come we haven't seen him?" Mom asks with a frown. "We've hardly even gotten to have a conversation with him." She looks over at my dad to confirm. He nods in agreement and looks to me expectantly too.
"Uh, because you treat his mom like shit."
Alex clears his throat. Aaliyah purses her lips. "No cursing at the dinner table." She decides with a cautious look at her daughter that's learned to just say things now.
Mom scoffs, exasperated. "We do not." She argues stubbornly. "I was polite to her at Thanksgiving, was I not?" She looks at dad again just because she knows he'll nod whether he agrees with her or not. Aaliyah finds it funny, but I just find it fucking annoying. The man pretty much has no spine.
"Yeah, Aunt Jenny was nicer to her than you." I dryly argue. "She also shared more words." She took the time to find us while we were there and shared what she knew about the gossip of the family that didn't involve us with Kiara.
She takes a breath. "Noah," She tries. "What have we ever done to your or that little boy? We're his grandparents. We should at least be allowed to talk to him."
"Can't respect the mom, you don't get to see the kid." I reason with a shrug. "You know how you treat Alex? Like an actual person married to your daughter? Father of your granddaughter? That's how you should be treating Kiara." I decide with a nod Alex's way. Alex glances at me but says nothing. He rarely has anything to add during these kinds of talks unless it involves his wife or daughter. "Once you can treat her like she's not invisible, then you can see Cam as much as you want." I decide on a shrug. Kiara's already open to having them around him if he wants, little do they know. I just don't like the fact that my dad has never even said hi to her, and my mom only made small talk because she thought it meant she could see Cam.
"This is ridiculous." Mom dismisses. "We treat her like a person. You're holding nothing over our heads, Noah. And it's the most childish thing you can do. It's unacceptable for you to keep that boy from us because you don't feel like we make the right conversations with that woman."
I laugh to myself. "You can't even say her name, and you want me to let you around our son? Really?"
I glance at Alex when he silently stands up from the table. He doesn't say anything as he walks behind me to get to the other side of the table to Aaliyah and Elaina. Aaliyah's already getting the hint and lifting Elaina up out of her seat. Elaina beams as she's handed off to her dad, having finished all of her food except for the green beans which she doesn't like. She doesn't know what's going on now, and that's thanks to her dad who carries her out of the room without a word to the rest of us.
"Look what you did. You scared my husband away." Aaliyah narrows her eyes at me. I chuckle because I know I'm not the one who did it. My mom's about to explode, and he knew it. He acted prematurely so his kid wouldn't have to sit there and listen to it.
Before my mom decides to dig herself a hole that could possibly destroy the last bit of a relationship I've got with them, I speak up. "I don't want you anywhere near my son, I'll be honest." I admit boldly. Stupidly too. Her mouth opens, but I keep going. "But for some reason, he does. So, here's the deal." I take a deep breath, silently wondering if I really want to do this. I don't, but he wants me to. "Cam's birthday is Thursday. He's turning eight. Saturday, we're having a birthday party at that stupid restaurant with the playground and things Aaliyah used to love. He wants you two to be there."
He also wants Aunt Jenny and Katie there with my grandparents. I didn't realize he'd gotten so close to them. I knew he was becoming friends with Katie though, so I kind of expected them to be mentioned. My parents and grandparents are a different story though.
"He's eight?" Dad asks with a little smile. "What do boys like at that age these days? Is it still superhero's?"
"In this case, yeah." I let out a deep breath when I realize my mom is relaxing now that she knows she's invited to his birthday party. That's all she needs to be pacified. "He really likes Batman, so it's themed like that."
"Oh, wonderful. I was worried after seeing him with that unicorn." Mom touches her chest in relief.
"Okay, that is why I don't want you around him." I point out. She frowns at that. Dad awkwardly shrugs as he decides that's fair. "Nobody say shit about his unicorn to him unless it's a compliment on how pretty she is." I decide is a rule as I look around the table. Mostly at my parents since Aaliyah has never even mentioned Taffy.
Dad makes a face like he's unsure about speaking up but is going to anyway. "Shouldn't you start giving him boy toys? He's eight. Aren't the kids at school making fun of him?"
I hope not. I haven't heard anything about Taffy at his school when I pick him up. His friends are all just happily bouncing around, a lot like him. "Another example of what we're not going to say to him." I nod, gesturing to my dad as I look back and forth between them. "Again, we're treating his mom as kindly as we treat Alex, and we're treating the kid as kindly and lovingly as we treat Elaina. Got it?"
Mom sighs deeply. "Okay." She finally agrees. Surprisingly, without an extra comment. Just okay. I don't think I've gotten one of those in a good long while.
I said my parents weren't always totally there while me and my sister were growing up. They liked to take a step back when shit got tough and let the little kids handle it by themselves. The older we got though, the more they seemed to start to realize they couldn't answer a single question asked of them about us besides the basics. At that point, they started to switch on us. My mom more so than my dad. She decided that she had always been right there for us growing up, and anyone who told her otherwise didn't know what they were talking about.
Which leaves us where we are now. She wants to be overly involved in our lives like she thinks any other parent would be for their kids. I think it's just because deep down she knows and recognizes that she wasn't there for us, and now thinks this is the best way of making up for that. Not making it up to us though, more so just making it up for herself so she can say she tried.
I used to hear that dismissive okay a lot as a kid. And the older I got, the more she started to realize she should be more involved, that dismissive answer started to fade off. Weirdly enough, sometimes I miss it. I guess I'd rather her be dismissive than all up in my face.
My mom takes a deep breath as she looks down at her plate. "Aaliyah, how did your last doctor's appointment go?" She asks, voice a little quieter than before.
Aaliyah blinks a couple of times. She smiles ultimately though. "Good." She answers. "We're still waiting to find out what it is, but everything else is looking good." She happily informs. Mom's smile softens at that, genuinely happy to hear. At the end of the day, have our disagreements and such, but she's still our mother. She does love us. She kind of has a weird way of showing it, but it's always there.
"What about names? Are you guys narrowing it down?" Dad pushes curiously. He's been hung up on hearing names lately. Mostly because no one knows what the baby is still. They didn't wait to find out with Elaina, but Aaliyah mentioned something about this probably being their last kid, so maybe they just want it to be a surprise until the very end.
Aaliyah giggles at that. "We're thinking." She cryptically answers. I shake my head with a smile. Like I said, a surprise until the very end. I'd be surprised if they knew when they get to the hospital.
Mom shakes her head fondly, eyes never leaving Aaliyah. "We did the same thing with you." She admits. "We tried asking Noah what he wanted to name his sister, but he kept suggesting Spot." She looks over at me and in the first time in a long time, smiles like she actually means it.
"I wanted a puppy." I come to five-year-old me's defense quick. I specifically told them I wanted a puppy. Not long later, they dressed me up in this stupid shirt that I couldn't even read that told me I was going to be a big brother. I still don't know why they didn't just sit me down. I wasn't the best reader at the age of five, and they knew it. I think they just liked giggling over me struggling to sound out the promoted in my I've been promoted to big brother shirt. And then once they finally told me, I didn't even know what that meant.
It was awful when I finally got it though. I thought it meant I was being moved to a new family, for some reason.
"Maybe we should ask Elaina." Aaliyah decides. Out of whatever my mom was saying, she gets that. Clearly, the point was missed because Mom sighs. She leaves Aaliyah be though, letting her decide what she wants, interestingly. "Alex!" Aaliyah calls out, louder than she needs to. Mom sighs at that.
He's back into the room with Elaina still in his arms in no time, ready to check up on the shifted conversation. I still don't blame him for disappearing with Elaina, and I don't think anyone else at the table does either. "Yes?" He answers her.
Aaliyah smiles widely as she holds her hands out. He doesn't hesitate to come back over and round the table with Elaina. Instead of immediately passing her on, he steals the chair Elaina had and sits her down on his lap facing her mom. "Elaina, you know how we told you you're going to be a big sister soon?" She reminds with a smile.
"Baby." Elaina reaches over to poke at Aaliyah's stomach.
"Yeah." Aaliyah's smile widens. "What do you think we should name the baby if it's a girl?"
Elaina pauses at that while she thinks. She looks over her shoulder at Alex, eyes narrowing as if she's using him to decide. "Pal." She decides as she looks back to Aaliyah.
"Pal?" Dad repeats, leaning in some curiously.
Aaliyah sighs. "Well...what about if it's a boy?"
"Pal."
"Okay." She mutters, disappointed she didn't get good suggestions from her three-year-old. "We still have time." She decides overconfidently. What she doesn't seem to realize is that time will fly by like nothing. Before she knows it, she's going to have to make a decision.
At least she's got Alex beside her while she does.