"What do you want, Mr. Lightwood?" Magnus tried his best to hide the disappointment and anger in his voice, but of course, his voice came out way colder than he intended to. Magnus looked at Alec, who seemed lost. Alec had his hands behind his back, he had his walls up as always, but one thing was different than normal, his eyes were on Magnus. Normally, Alec tried his best to not look at him, so it was weird yet slightly thrilling to have Alecs' undivided attention on him.
"I um... wanted to pay you for your service yesterday." Alec's voice came out small, very different from what Magnus was used to.
"Oh. Well, I didn't get a chance to send over a receipt over. Why don't we circle back to the topic once you see the bill?" Magnus didn't know what Alec was trying. Alec had never come to his apartment by himself, and he definitely not have contacted him out of business hours. It always has been someone else who sent the payments over, so instead, Magnus observed Alec's body language.
Alec shifted his body weight from one leg to the other. "I also wanted to thank you for your help yesterday." He finally said.
Magnus took a sip from his wine glass. He didn't bother offering to Alec because, from experience, he knew Alec would turn down anything Magnus offered.
"There is no need to feel thankful, I will add that into the bill as well." Magnus lied. He was not going to charge Alec for that. No matter how much it pained him to hear Alec's true feelings from Catarina, Magnus still liked this man, way more than he should. Maybe the feelings had started to fade away due to constant rejection he received over a decade time period but he still likes Alexander Lightwood more than anyone else in his 400 years of history. Yes, his Alpha also likes Alec than anyone else in the world, but still, without that pull, Magnus knew he would always, ALWAYS be there for Alec when needed. Whether he was mated to someone else or not. The thought of Alec being mated to someone else painted the very painful image in his head, but over the years, he got used to the image. The more rejection he got from Alec clearer it was that Alec would never be his.
There were times when Magnus actually sat down and thought why exactly he got rejected by Alec so strongly. Because he is a downworlder? a lothario as Shadowhunters like to say? was it because of his father? was it because of his loud fashion choices? was it his bisexuality,?or was it simply because he was not worth it in Alec's eyes? Getting rejected because of those reasons, of course, would hurt him, but not being worth in Alec's eyes was a bit too much for Magnus and his alphas' heart.
"Okay." Alec replied after a long pause. Magnus observed Alec, who was still standing in his living room. Any other time he would have to try and drag the conversation so he could be around Alec a little bit more but with everything that has been happening in past few days made it clear that he just didn't want to put on anymore efforts. Not when to Alec Lightwood, was willingly crush his soul so he could mate with anyone other than Magnus.
"If that is it, Mr. Lightwood, why don't we end this delightful conversation for tonight? My time is precious, and I don't see any need to continue this conversation. Also, as you can see, I was about to enjoy my meal before you showed up unannounced. I would not be surprised to see that from other Shadowhunters, but I thought you had more decency than typical Shadowhunters, but I guess I am a bad judge of characters."
Alec bit his lip but still started at Magnus as he tried to complement a sentence in his head.
"Mr. Lightwood?" Magnus raised one of his eyebrows artistically when Alec didn't reply for a good few seconds.
"It's Alexander." Alec was quick to reply.
"What?"
"You always called me Alec or Alexander. Why are you suddenly calling me Lightwood?"
'Is he for real? Is the head of the institute really throwing a tantrum about being called Lightwood?' Magnus got up from the sofa. He looked at Alec for a bit before he walked up to Alec. Alec's eyes are still on him. He could see Alec's eyes travelling down to his body and back to his face. If he didn't know any better, his delusional self would have thought, Alec was getting flustered seeing him half naked. Who was he kidding? Alec found him repulsive. He was nothing but another disgusting warlock to this angel blooded Nephilim. A monster.
"Because that's who you are to me. Mr. Lightwood, the head of the New York Institute."
"Then why didn't you call me that from the beginning? What changed?"
"Ale.." Magnus cleared his throat. Alecs beautiful and calming scent was too much for him. No matter how hard he tried to act tough or detached, his ridiculous alpha reacted like a lovesick puppy to Alec's pheromones.
"Mr. Lightwood, I made it very clear over the last decade that I saw you as a potential lover interest. I flirted with you, I charged you way less than I normally would, I tried to ask you on dates, I was on beck and call for your service 24/7 and hell, I even asked to court you." Magnus laughed bitterly at that sad and heart-breaking memory. Magnus turned away from Alec and walked up to his bar. He needed a drink if he wanted to continue this conversation.
"Now I think about it, I can see why you were always so uncomfortable around me. For that, apologise. I.." Magnus added gin and dry vermouth into a glass.
"Would you like a drink?" Magnus finally asked Alec.
"No." Alec said before he could stop himself. Magnus shrugged his shoulders and turned back to garnish his drink with a lemon twist.
"Actually, I will have one of those." Alec quickly replied. Magnus turned back and looked over his shoulder. He was not surprised when he heard no, but he was very surprised when Alec said he would like some martini.
"Sure." Magnus replied and turned to make another drink for Alec.
"What I was trying to say is I made you uncomfortable with my flirting to the point you asked help from Catarina to mute your alpha." Magnus turned back with two drinks in his hands. As he walked as gracefully as ever, Alec wondered how Magnus did not spilt a drop on the floor.
"Here." Magnus offered the drink to Alec and didn't wait around to toast. Instead, he went and sat down on his sofa and snapped his fingers. In seconds, now his cold dinner vanished into thin air.
"You are more than welcome to sit down, but if you feel comfortable like that, you are welcome to do that." Magnus took a sip from his drink.
"Thanks." Alec sat on a chair not too far from where Magnus was. Every time Magnus took a deep breath, Magnus's alpha hummed in happiness. The stupid alpha was so happy having Alec around.
"Catarina told you." Alec wasn't accusing, rather he was stating fact. Magnus was glad that Alec was not angry.
"We have been each others best friends over a century, but she is not the one to spread gossip or talk behind someone. She only told me that, so we know what exactly went wrong with your alpha." Even if Alec didn't sound angry, Magnus didn't want to put Catarina in an uncomfortable position.
"Yeah, I understand. Again, thank you for helping me yesterday."
"Anyone would have helped you at that time."
"Still!"
"Back to the original topic as to why I am calling you by your family name rather than your first name is because, after hearing about how far you are willing to go, I decided it is time us we put some space between us. I understand that your alpha reacts to me strongly, and to be completely transparent, so does my alpha. The reason... I dont know, but I am sure some space between us would do some good to us. Also, my advancements towards you will stop from now on. Again, I apologise for making you uncomfortable. I hope you won't mute your alpha, as that would damage your soul. Instead, I hope we can coexist in peace yet have some distance between us." Magnus finally said his piece, and he felt light. He felt as a huge weight was taken away from his shoulders. Was his alpha happy about the decision? No, but it was time Magnus took control and did not listen to the stupid alpha who could not see the difference between an alpha and an omega.
Magnus looked at Alec, and Alec was in deep thoughts. Magnus imagined that Alec probably felt relief after what he had just said. Even though he wanted to hear what Alec had to say, he decided to give Alec enough time to get his words out. Instead, he was surprised to see Alec chugging down the strong drink as it was nothing. Magnus observed Alec with wide eyes as he put down the glass on the table in front of him. Alec looked up at Magnus, and he made a face when he saw Magnus's surprise face.
"Thirsty." Alec tried to justify.
"Sure." Magnus raised both of his eyebrows before he took a sip from his beverage.
"Do I have a saying in this plan?" Alec asked as he started into Magnus's eyes.
"Of course, you do. What would you like? What else would you like me to do? Consider this as compensation for the last decade."
"You don't owe me anything, Magnus. You always have been the one sacrifice, and I have been the receiving recipient for far too long, and I think it is time I should step up. No! it is time that I step up."
Magnus didn't know where Alec was going with this. So, he just kept on waiting for Alec to continue the conversation.
"Magnus, I am sorry. For everything. You are an amazing man, and I believe I have made you feel as if you dont deserve happiness. For that, I am sorry and I want to make up to you."
"There is no need for that, Mr. Lightwood."
"There is! I.. I can't bear it that you call me by my family name. I have been a fool. I didn't listen to my inner instinct, and I have been acting as an even bigger fool, so this time, even if it takes a decade or even more, let me make up to you."