A/n: Reader discretion is advised as this chapter contains suicide reference. If you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, please talk to a friend or a healthcare professional. Or your local suicide hotline. Please. You are loved, don't forget that.
CHAPTER NINE - Scars
Third Person's PoV
Pumarada si Kieran sa underground parking lot ng tinutuluyang hotel ni Shane. Minadali ni Shane na tanggalin yung seatbelt niya.
"Thank you." Bulong niya, hindi niya kayang tignan siya sa hiya. "Here, you can have your jacket back."
Pinigilan ni Kieran na hubarin ni Shane yung jacket. In-unbuckle niya ang kanyang seatbelt at lumabas para pagbuksanan ng pintuan ang dalaga. Linahad ang kanyang kamay para alalayan siya.
"Subukan mong paluin ulit at kakargahin kita." Banta nito.
Shane snickered, "Don't threaten me with a good time, doctor." Biro niya pero 'di natuwa si Kieran. "Tsk. Fine."
Nanghihinang lumabas si Shane at maingat na iniapak mga paa sa semento. Medyo maluwag sa kanya yung sapatos ni Kieran. Ayaw niya na lang magreklamo gawa ng panghihina niya. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ng doctor at naginit ang mga pisngi.
It must be the fever. It must be.
Dahan-dahan silang naglakad patungo sa elevator. Ramdam ni Kieran ang nginig ni Shane sa sobrang lamig.
"K-kieran..." nautal pa ang babae sa sobrang panghihina.
"Almost there, Shane. Just hang on." Sabi ni Kieran sa may tenga niya. Lips lightly brushing against her ear. It sent chills down her spine—making her shudder more.
"I have...a favor to ask." That certainly caught his attention. "Are you able...to falsify your reports for me?"
Huminto sa paglalakad ang doctor kaya naman napatigil din ang dalaga.
"Gusto mong i-risk reputasyon ko, Shane?" His tone didn't sound mad. It was genuine curiosity.
Shane pursed her lips and shook her head.
"I'm sorry. That was a stupid question." She said while forcing a smile. "You worked so hard...to be w-where you are now. Don't let my life ruin that."
Everything Shane had to endure for the past decade is to make sure Kieran becomes a successful doctor. She never fully understood why she desperately goes through such lengths for this man, but she did.
And she did it with no regrets despite everything bad that has happened to her.
She does not want Kieran to know what she did. All she wanted him to remember was how she broke his heart. That's it. It's easier to cope that way since she knows deep down she does not deserve him.
Kumalas si Shane sa kamay ni Kieran pagkarating nila sa elevator, "I got it from here, thanks."
Hindi nagbago yung mga mata ng lalaki. Puno pa rin ito ng alala at inis.
Yumuko si Shane at saka naalalang isauli yung sapatos. Nakapaa ba naman si Kieran na inalalayan si Shane hanggang sa elevator.
"Shit. Sorry, here." Akmang tatanggalin niya na sana ang sintas nang makaramdam siya ng hilo. Tumingala siya't kumurap. "K-kieran..."
"Shane?— SHANE!" Mabuti na lang at nasalo agad siya pagkahimatay nito. Sobrang init ng balat ni Shane at sobrang putla. "Fuck. Teka lang, Shane. I got you."
Inayos ni Kieran ang pagkakahawak sa kanya't kinarga na siya sa elevator. Parang wala lang sa kanya ang bigat ng babae sa sobrang payat nito. Nakaramdam na naman siya ng inis.
Kahit na walang sinasabi sa kanya si Shane, alam niyang pinabayaan siya sa loob ng sampung taon sa America.
Naalala niya yung floor at ng hotel number ni Shane at dumiretso agad doon. Wala na siyang pakialam kung pati siya basang-basa kakakarga sa basang-basa ring babae. Maingat niya siyang binaba na muna nang makarating siya sa pinto't sinusian iyon.
Pumasok siyang karga si Shane at ipinahiga ang walang malay na babae agad sa may sofa. Sinindi niya ang ilaw. Unang tumambad yung mga nakaimpakeng mga maleta ni Shane na nakahanda na sa may gilid ng kama.
She really was planning to go to Japan.
Nagsalin ng tubig si Kieran sa portable water heater na pagmamay-ari ng hotel. Habang inaantay niya 'yon kumulo, binuksan niya isa sa mga maleta upang maghanap ng pagbihisan ni Shane. Kumuha siya ng t-shirt at pajama doon at bumalik sa sofa kung nasan yung babae.
Maingat niyang tinanggal isa-isa mga suot ni Shane. Nauna yung mga pinahiram niyang sapatos at coat. Lumunok siya sa kaba nang ibaba niya yung zipper ng itim na bistida lalo nung mapagtantong walang suot na bra si Shane.
Bumuntong hininga na lamang siya at hinubaran si Shane nang nakapikit. Memoryado niya naman ang katawan niya kaya hindi siya masyadong nahirapan sa 'pag navigate. Ipinasuot niya yung bagong damit at pajama saka dinala sa may kama para kumutan.
Sakto namang tapos na kumulo yung tubig. Kinuha niya yung maliit na timba mula sa banyo at doon binuhos yung mainit na tubig. Kumuha na rin siya ng tuwalya at 'yon ang binabad doon.
After wringing it out, he gently placed the folded heated towel on her forehead to help with the fever and chills.
"There, you'll be fine." He sighed in relief. "Good thing I saw you walking alone in the rain."
Tinignan niya ang orasan at nakitang alas siyete na pala ng gabi. Paniguradong hahanapin na siya maya't maya ni Dylan kung hindi pa siya umuwi.
Tatayo na sana siya nang biglang gumalaw si Shane.
"It's cold..." nginig ng babae, "K-kieran, it's so cold."
Natigilan naman sa pagalis si Kieran at bumuga ng hangin. "How am I supposed to leave you like this?"
Kumukunot ang noo ni Shane at nag-fidget. Mukhang nananaginip siya.
"K-kieran" she cried, "I miss you."
Mariing napapikit ang lalaki't napahilamos sa mukha gamit ng kanyang palad. Napailing siya. Alam niyang mali ang balak niyang gawin pero mas nangibabaw ang awa. Tinext niya si Dylan na mapapa-late siya ng uwi at mauna na siyang kumain. Linapag niya yung phone sa may nightstand at inangat ang kumot ni Shane.
Pumasok siya sa loob ng kumot. Kieran wrapped a gentle arm on Shane's unconscious shivering body and drew her closer to him. Her muscles relaxed once she felt his body heat. Especially when she breathed in his scent that she craved for for years. Even without being awake, her whole body responded accordingly to his gentle touch.
Rain was still pouring heavily against the window. There were a few thunders from now and then, but the only loud sound that Kieran could hear was his own beating heart. The lights were turned down low to help with her comfort if ever she suddenly wakes up while she's in his arms.
He took care of her even without her asking her to. It made him think whether someone took care of her too while she was in America for the last ten years.
Despite the dimness of the room, Kieran could clearly see the bruise on her cheek where Divine hit her earlier. He lightly traced it with his fingers while exhaling in fury. His chest felt heavy for her as even without hearing it directly from her red lips, he knew she went through so much.
Kieran never fully understood why she never chose to run away or fight back. Her strong personality does not make sense once someone peeks through her facade dealing with this chaos in her behind the scenes.
Bumukas ang pintuan ng hotel room at linuwa nito si Vincent. Nagulat siya nang makita si Kieran na kayakap si Shane sa kama.
"Holy shit." Malawak na ngumiti si Vincent at natuwa. Mangaasar pa sana siya nang mapansing walang malay si Shane. Bumagsak yung ngiti niya. "Holy shit."
Naningkit mga mata ni Kieran sa kanya, "Why do I have a strong feeling that you've failed your job to protect her for the last decade?"
Tumindig mga balahibo ni Vincent nung bumaba ang boses ni Kieran. He's never seen the doctor this furious before.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Sumeryoso din si Vincent. "I gave Shane everything she wanted to com—" he stopped himself from talking. It is the Maclain's and the De Vera's secret that Shane was sold to be his wife.
I gave her everything she wanted to compensate the damage our families has done to her.
"Kung ganoon nga," maingat na tinaas ni Kieran yung pulsuhan ni Shane, "then what the fuck is this?"
Tumiim bagang si Vincent nang makita muli iyon. Hilom na ang sugat na ito ngunit nagiwan ito ng isang linya bilang paalala kung paano muntikan na siyang bumitaw.
Seven years ago, Shane attempted to end her miserable life.
It was one of the hardest things she and Vincent went through. The memory of Shane bleeding on the bathroom floor haunted him forever. He's aware that the marriage and the pressure of fulfilling her role as the "trophy wife" took a huge toll on her.
And she did mention that it was also on the same year she no longer received Kieran's flowers too. The lifeline she was clinging on to disappeared.
"I hired a private therapist for her after that." Vincent's voice quivered. "She's been doing well since then. Or so I assume."
Ibinaling ni Kieran ang atenshon niya sa mukha ni Shane.
"Hindi ko man alam kung ano yung buong kwento pero ito lang ang masasabi ko." Sinapo niya ang magang pisngi ni Shane. His thumb gently caressed her face as he sighed. When he looked up at Vincent, his eyes were filled in fury and disgust. "All of you fucked her up and did nothing to make her feel happy and safe."
Walang imik si Vincent. Alam niya sa sarili niyang totoo 'yon. Kahit na binigyan niya ng pera si Shane, o sariling penthouse, o mga tauhan na pagsisilbihan siya. Hindi pa rin sapat 'yon. Kahit na bigyan niya siya ng kalayaan na gawin ang gusto niya—pumasyal sa iba't ibang lugar o bansa or dumayo sa mga nightclubs para maglibang—alam niyang hindi matatawag na kalayaan iyon lalo na kung nakabuntot palagi ang media na gustong siraan mga pangalan nila.
Likewise to Rapunzel, she was stuck alone in that penthouse for the last ten years pretending to be someone's wife just for public appearance.
Although she did take up some cases and won them all in court, all of them are for the family's benefit. She was still being controlled. As long as she is married to Vincent, her freedom and her whole life is chained to their name.
And now they want her to bear his child, even though she never wanted to have kids.
None of the choices she's done for the last ten years were for herself. It was always for someone else's benefit. For Vincent.
And for Kieran.
"I'm sorry I couldn't do anything." Vincent's voice faltered.
Even his freedom to choose was chained to the Maclain name—he had to maintain a reputation as his father's legacy. And in this industry, his identity as a homosexual man was still currently frowned upon. Having Shane as his wife created more comfort for business ties.
It is the cruel reality that the two face. And they couldn't do anything to change it.
Kieran's grim face did not change when he spoke.
"I'll falsify my lab results." His tone was threatening and serious.
"Kieran, you can't possibly be serious. You're willing to put your reputation at stake?!" Napataas na ng boses si Vincent. "Kapag nalaman ng iba na ginawa mo 'yon tiyak na papatalsikin ka sa trabaho!"
Vincent looked at Shane who's currently sleeping peacefully wrapped up in Kieran's arms.
Everything she had to endure for a decade will be for nothing if Kieran lost his job.
Of course he couldn't say that to his face. He kept a promise to Shane.
"Then so be it." Kieran's thumb gently caressed the scar on her wrist. "As long as she doesn't do this to herself anymore."
Mabagal na bumangon si Kieran para 'di niya magising si Shane at tumayo na. Kinuha niya ang kanyang coat at sapatos mula sa sahig bago linapitan si Vincent.
"Do me a fucking favor." Hinawakan niya sa balikat si Vincent. "Set her free. Please."
Bumitaw agad si Kieran at lumabas na ng hotel room. Vincent's eyes followed his back until he reached the elevator before shutting the door.
Marahan siyang natawa, "Sabi ko sa iyo, Shane e'. The doctor still has the hots for you."
Napailing na lang siya't may tinawagan na number. Nakailang ring pa ito bago may sumagot.
"Hello, attorney. Is our divorce lawyer still available?"