KABANATA 40
Shuen's POV
I am in the kitchen, staring at the delicious strawberry pancakes I just cooked. These fluffy pancakes are garnished with tangy slices of mango. In front of me, a refreshing mango and strawberry shake is waiting, a combination that I couldn't resist trying. It's surprising how my taste buds were drawn to this particular flavor now. Earlier, while browsing a website, I saw a picture of a delectable strawberry that immediately sparked a craving in me.
Without hesitation, I instructed our housekeeper to buy it for me at the grocery store, and I quickly turned it into these mouthwatering pancakes. I have now finished nearly five pancakes and have indulged in the shake twice, but my stomach still doesn't seem satisfied, wanting more. I even thought that maybe I need to see a doctor tomorrow to find out why I am eating like this. Perhaps I have an ulcer from my frequent dieting before.
I also feel like my body is getting heavier as time goes by. I am becoming extremely lazy to move. Even simple tasks like brushing my hair and dressing neatly feel like a chore. I prefer to wear loose shirts and shorts with elastic bands. I haven't taken a bath in two days because I even feel lazy to go to the bathroom.
As I focus on eating, one of our house staff suddenly approaches me, panting. I am puzzled by their behavior, as if something big is happening.
"Anong nangyari?" tanong ko habang ngumunguya.
Humugot muna siya ng malalim na hininga bago ulit ako tiningnan. "Madam, may naghahanap po sa inyo sa labas," sabi niya.
"Sino 'yan?" tanong ko nang walang masyadong interes.
"Si Mr. Diovanni de Marcel daw po," sagot niya, at bigla akong napainom sa aking shake.
"D-Diovanni?" ulit ko, hindi makapaniwala.
"Opo, hinahanap daw po kayo sa labas."
Nabitawan ko halos ang pancake na hawak ko sa sobrang kaba. Ano'ng ginagawa niya dito? Paano niya nalaman kung saan ako nakatira dito sa Taguig? Hindi kaya sinabi ni Ester? Pero hindi, imposible 'yon. Alam ni Ester na mas importante ang trabaho niya kaysa sa pakikialam sa mga personal kong bagay. Sinabihan ko na siya na huwag na huwag niyang sasabihin kahit kanino kung nasaan ako. Pero paano nga kaya nalaman ni Diovanni ang address ko?
"S-Sabihin mo wala ako!" sigaw ko, taranta na. "Sabihin mo nasa ibang bansa ako, o kaya lumipat na ako ng bahay!" dugtong ko pa. "Gawan mo ng paraan para umalis 'yang taong 'yan! Dali!" sigaw ko ulit.
Bago pa man siya makakilos, isa pang kasambahay ang pumasok, mukhang may pinipigilan siyang pumasok sa bahay. Pero hindi niya ito napigilan, at ngayon, nasa harap ko na siya. Seryoso ang mukha ni Diovanni, nakatitig sa akin, kuyom ang mga kamao at bakas ang tensyon sa kanyang panga.
Napalunok ako. "D-Diovanni," mahina kong sabi.
Pumikit siya at huminga nang malalim. "Dito lang pala kita mahahanap. Iniwasan mo ba talaga ako o ayaw mo na lang talaga akong makita?" tanong niya, seryoso ang tono.
"Umalis muna kayo," utos ko sa mga kasambahay. Agad naman silang umalis at kami na lang ni Diovanni ang naiwan. "Paano mo nalaman kung saan ako?" tanong ko, pilit pinapanatili ang kalmado kong boses.
"Why did you leave me that day, Shuen?" he asked.
I knew this was the reason why he sought me out. I sighed before standing up. "You should have left," I said, turning away from him.
But he quickly grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. "Shuen, I still can't understand why you did that after what happened between us. I spent almost two months trying to figure out why you left that morning," he said, seeking an answer.
I tried to remove his hand from my arm. "Does it still matter, Dio?" I asked. "Did you come here just to interrogate me? Leave already!" I commanded.
But he didn't move. "Shuen! Can we talk properly! Why did you leave that morning? Why?!" he shouted, which only angered me further.
"Why?" I said. "Do I need to answer that, Dio?" I added. "It only means one thing! What happened between us, I regret it! I don't want that! So don't blame me for leaving! I couldn't accept that I let myself fall for you again!" I shouted back, which made him pause.
"Do you regret it?" he whispered, unbelieving. "Shuen, I know I made a mistake and hurt you. But can't you give me another chance?" he pleaded, which only fueled my anger.
"Another chance?" I repeated. "Dio, what don't you understand about all the things I said to you?! Whatever you do?! Even if you kneel in front of me right now?! Even if you cry blood?! I won't give you another chance!"
"Shuen..." I felt the pain in his voice. There was a strange look on his face, like he was hurt by my words. "I am willing to make amends for everything, I can correct the mistakes we made before," he could barely get the words out properly because he was holding back his emotions.
I shook my head and looked at him with even more anger. "It's a waste of time, Diovanni. I don't want it, I can't accept you again. So please! Leave me alone! Because honestly, every time I see you? Regret is all I feel! I regret loving you!" I shouted, and we both suddenly stopped in our tracks.
He lowered his gaze and at that moment, he looked like he would kneel and cry to plead with me at any second. Soon enough, he looked back at me and I saw the redness in his eyes, as if he was holding back tears.
He sighed deeply and swallowed. "Is that really how you feel, Shuen?" he asked, softly and trying to hold back his emotions.
I showed no emotion on my face. "Yes, Dio. What happened between us that night, it was just a mistake. If you think I'll come back after that? You're wrong, because I can't come back into your life. So please, leave and don't show up in front of me again," I said seriously, maintaining eye contact with him.
He looked at me, and that's when I saw the tear fall from Diovanni's eyes. He took a deep breath before nodding. "Alright, I won't bother you anymore. I just want to say, I love you so much. Maybe I hurt you too much. Your life is on track now, you don't need me," he said and then turned around and left the house.
I couldn't see him anymore as my tears began to fall. I gripped onto the chair to find strength. I took a deep breath before wiping my eyes. No matter how hard I tried to keep myself together, I couldn't help but feel hurt. But, I knew what I did was right, and I knew it was necessary.
Mula nang araw na iyon, naging tahimik ulit ang mundo ko. Pero, lumalala ang pakiramdam ko kaya nagdesisyon akong magpatingin na sa doktor. Nakaupo na ako ngayon sa examination bed sa clinic ng ospital. Hinihintay ko na lang ang resulta matapos akong suriin ng doktor.
Ilang minuto lang ang lumipas at bumalik na ang doktor sa tabi ko, hawak ang resulta. Agad akong bumangon para magtanong. "Kumusta, Doc? May sakit po ba ako?" tanong ko na may pag-aalala.
"Sa totoo lang, Ms. Balmeda, ayon sa mga pagsusuri, wala kang sakit, pero dalawang buwan ka nang buntis," seryosong sabi ng doktor. "At base sa mga sintomas na sinabi mo, normal lang ito sa unang trimester ng pagbubuntis," dagdag niya bilang paliwanag.
Para akong nabingi sa sinabi ng doktor. Hindi ko maiproseso ang balita sa aking isipan, natulala lang ako, nakatitig sa mukha ng doktor. Para akong nawalan ng kakayahang magsalita sa sandaling iyon dahil hindi ko maintindihan ang paliwanag niya tungkol sa resulta.
"Ano po? Tama po ba ang narinig ko, Doc? Buntis? Ako? P-Paano po nangyari 'yon? Paano..." hindi makapaniwalang sabi ko.
Mukhang naguluhan ang doktor sa reaksyon ko. "Anong ibig mong sabihin, Ms. Balmeda? Nakakagulat ba na ikaw ay buntis?"
Nagkunot ang noo ko. "Wait, Doc, there might be a mistake. It's impossible for me to be pregnant," I said, still confused.
"How is it impossible, Ms. Balmeda? These are the results of my examination of you. You have been pregnant for two months," the doctor gently explained. "If you want, we can repeat the test to make sure. I will show you the ultrasound on the monitor," she said, and immediately started the process she mentioned.
As the transducer was slowly moved over my abdomen, I saw on the monitor the image of two circles surrounding something I couldn't name.
"Ms. Balmeda, do you see this image that looks like a big button? This confirms your pregnancy because you can see the gestational sac and embryos on the ultrasound. In other words, these are your baby," she calmly explained, which added to my confusion. "It looks like not just one, but twins you are carrying. And since you are already in the latter part of your first trimester, there is a high possibility that you are indeed carrying twins," the doctor added with a smile.
"Wait a minute, Doctor. I still can't understand how this happened. How did I get pregnant when I was initially told I was infertile and had endometriosis? I was told I had no chance of having children," I explained, feeling puzzled.
The doctor was surprised by what I said. "Endometriosis? I didn't diagnose you with that, Ms. Balmeda. And when you told me your symptoms, I immediately thought you were pregnant."
"But why didn't I get pregnant before?" I asked her.
She smiled before wiping off the gel on my belly. "There are many reasons why you may not have conceived right away. One of them is irregular periods and stress from various things. Maybe one of those reasons made it difficult for you to conceive before, especially since I didn't see any signs of endometriosis in you," she explained. "I will give you the results of your ultrasound now, Ms. Balmeda," she said before turning away.
Until now, I still had many questions and felt confused. So when the results were given to me, I quickly went to the hospital parking lot. I quietly got into my car and continued to contemplate on what I had learned.
Habang kami ay papauwi, may kung anong pwersa ang nagtulak sa akin na pumunta sa Batangas. May kailangan akong malaman at pakiramdam ko'y hindi ako mapapakali hangga't hindi ko nakakausap ang doktor na tumingin sa akin dati.
"Mang Berting, diretso tayo sa Batangas," utos ko na agad naman niyang sinunod nang walang tanong.
Halos isa't kalahating oras ang byahe bago kami nakarating muli sa Batangas. Diretso ako sa ospital kung saan ako nagpakonsulta dati. Pagkaparada ng sasakyan, hindi na ako nag-aksaya ng oras at agad na tinungo ang opisina ng doktor. Mabilis ang tibok ng puso ko sa kaba habang papalapit ako sa pinto ng kanyang opisina. Nang marating ko ang pinto, huminga muna ako ng malalim bago ko ito binuksan.
Pagkabukas ng pinto, agad na tumingin sa akin si Dr. Singson, at bakas sa kanyang mukha ang pagkagulat. Marahil ay hindi niya inaasahan ang aking pagdating lalo na't dalawang taon na ang nakalipas mula nang huli akong pumunta roon.
"Mrs. de Marcel. It was nice to see you again. It's been a long time," she greeted me as if he still remembered me. "How can I help you?" she asked with a smile on his face.
"Correction, Dr. Singson. It's Ms. Balmeda. I haven't been de Marcel for a long time, and never been Mrs. de Marcel," I quickly corrected his statement.
"S-So, what's the reason for your visit? Can I help you with something-"
"Tell me the truth now, admit it. Did you really say that I have endometriosis?" I asked seriously, and she couldn't hide her surprise. "How do you explain this now?" I added, showing her the results of my ultrasound. "Didn't you tell me before that I have no chance of conceiving? Why am I two months pregnant now?!" I shouted, causing her to panic. "How did that happen?!"
"P-Please, calm down, Mrs. de Balmeda. I-I will try to explain everything to you, please, calm down. I-If indeed you are pregnant, it's not good for you to shout like that," she said calmly.
So I took a deep breath. "Tell me, why did you say I have endometriosis?"
She swallowed hard. "The truth is, I changed the real results because that's what I was ordered to do! I was paid a large sum to tell you that you have no chance of conceiving. I had no choice, Ms. Balmeda! I need the money because my salary here at the hospital is not enough for my mother's needs. She is sick and needs an operation, so I accepted the money, even though I knew I could lose my license. But my mother's life is more important to me," she explained. "Please forgive me, I only did this for-"
"Who ordered you to do that?! Who?!" I shouted, full of anger.
"I-It was Katarina Tres Valles, one of my former patients," she admitted, further fueling my anger, and I immediately left the doctor's office.
I never expected that in these moments I would discover a great betrayal. I never expected that she would do something that almost diminished my worth just because I couldn't have a child. She is also a woman, but she did such a thing! I cannot forgive her for what she did!
"Mang Berting, take me to De Marcel United Enterprises," I instructed my driver firmly.
Ilang minuto lang ang lumipas at narating ko na ang kumpanya ng mga De Marcel. Hindi ko na nagawang balikan ang mga pagbabago sa kompanya dahil sa mga oras na ito, puno ako ng galit. Mabilis akong sumakay sa elevator at nagkataon pang may kasabay ako.
"Excuse me, nandito po ba ngayon si Katarina Tres Valles?" tanong ko sa dalawang empleyado.
"Opo, madam."
"Saang palapag ang opisina niya?"
"Nasa ikatlong palapag po, madam," sagot nito kaya agad kong pinindot ang buton para sa ikatlong palapag.
Pagbukas ng elevator sa ikatlong palapag, halos tumakbo ako palabas. Tinanong ko rin ang ibang empleyado sa paligid kung nasaan ang opisina ni Katarina. Ngunit nalaman kong nasa isang meeting siya kasama ang mga coordinator ng iba't ibang departamento.
Hindi na ako nag-atubiling buksan ang malaking pinto ng conference room kung saan abala ang lahat sa pakikinig kay Katarina. Bigla silang napatingin sa akin at maging si Katarina ay nagulat nang makita ako. Mabilis akong lumapit sa kanya at walang anu-ano'y sinampal ko siya ng malakas na ikinasinghap ng mga tao sa conference room.
"Walang hiya ka!" I shouted at her. "Napaka-walang hiya mo!" I added.
She looked at me, full of confusion. "What's wrong with you? Why did you suddenly slap me?!" she angrily asked, holding her cheek.
In the middle of the office, I couldn't control myself and my anger towards Katarina exploded. "This is because of your sabotage against me! You have a dirty personality! You're so envious of me! You have no right to make me look like a fool forever, like I will never have a child!" I shouted, shocking her and everyone around.
I saw the sharpness in her eyes. "Shuen, please, don't make a scene here!" she said calmly.
"And why not?!" I shot back at her. "Why don't you want everyone here to know how terrible you are, Katarina Tres Valles?!" I shouted again.
"Shuen, can't we discuss this?" she pleaded.
I faced her, challenging her with my eyes. "Discuss this?" I laughed. "Isn't this what you did to me before?! You humiliated me in front of many people here in the company?!" I shouted before I slapped her, and an employee quickly approached to restrain me.
"You know, Katarina, I wish things were okay," I shouted. "I could still forgive you even though I know you don't deserve it! But when I found out what you did, I want you to experience all the pain, humiliation, and difficulty that you gave me!" I shouted before Diovanni and Izan entered the room.
"Shuen? What's going on?" Diovanni asked, holding my shoulders tightly.
I looked at him, showing my annoyance. "Why are you asking me?" I snapped. "Ask her! You two are perfect for each other because you're both liars!" I said, pointing at Katarina.
Diovanni immediately confronted Katarina, gripping her arms even tighter. "What did you do?!" he accused. "What have you done now, Katarina?!"
"I don't know! I haven't done anything, and I don't understand what this woman is accusing me of!" Katarina staunchly defended herself, her voice filled with confusion.
As I opened my mouth to respond, I suddenly felt dizzy. I held my head, feeling disoriented. The world around me slowly darkened, and before I knew it, I lost consciousness, falling into unconsciousness.
***
One last chapter ahead.