Happy Love Holiday! I hadn't planned on posting in February, but then figured I could get a chapter out around this time. Physics very much does not love me so there may not be a chapter in March. I will still try though. Please enjoy this chapter.
Ikran. Gene was practically vibrating in anticipation for bonding with the flying creatures, falling in love with them each time she found her legs taking her up to the roost to watch the majestic creatures. Ralu had even taken her for a ride on his own, and although she hadn't dared release him from a death grip the whole time, the experience was something she was eager to experience for herself. The only problem she had was the fact they'd be in the halleluiah mountains. She feared what would happen if her connection was disturbed mid climb, having no doubt it'd be her death this time for sure.
On this Grace fought her, knowing just how the mountains affected her.
"I understand your concern, I have also thought over the possible consequences. Not all Na'vi have bonded with Ikran, only if one wishes to be a warrior."
"So you won't be undergoing the trial." Grace sighed, glad for once that Gene saw sense and wouldn't be attempting something dangerous.
"I will be." She closed her eyes, counted to ten while pinching her nose and then counted again before looking at the cube the AI resided in.
"Gene."
"While I have no distinct desire to be a warrior, my distaste for taking life a poor trait for a warrior to have, I want to experience it for myself." I want. This was an AI talking, but a person. A child. The longer Gene spent inhabiting her body, the less and less machine she was even as she returned to her body of metal and wires. She was as smart as an adult, if not smarter but emotionally she was still just a child. Grace sighed, wondering just how she could dissuade her from a possible suicide mission.
"Grace do you trust me?" Gene asked instead, her light a soft cyan instead of it's usual deep blue as the light zig-zaged around the cube, not unlike someone fidgeting. Like a child who was in trouble wiggled under a parent's gaze.
"This isn't about trust Gene, this is about your life. We don't need you to be halfway up those cliffs or mid jump when suddenly your connection shorts out and your body falls to its death. There will be no new bodies for you to inhabit, you'll be finished, over something you want, not need."
"Grace." And the way she said it, as though Grace was the child between them who didn't understand. She understood perfectly well what Gene was asking her to do, and she hated it.
"I won't turn a blind eye to this Gene. Per my right I'm revoking your access rights to the cradles. I'm sorry Gene but I'm not about to let you kill yourself over something unnecessary. I'm not happy about you undergoing the trial to become one of the tribe, but I've given up on dissuading you of this. But on this, on climbing the halleluiah mountains for an Ikran? Gene I won't let you kill yourself over something only warriors need to complete." She was quiet.
"I'm sorry you feel that way." In a flash of purple her light winked out, as well as all the lights in the lab. Norm yelped, head ducking as though the lights had been shattered instead of turned off. Grace sighed, pinching her nose as he poked his head in. Flicking the light switch did not fix anything either, Gene having taken the lights as she shut herself down.
"Gene? Gene?" No response. Of course it'd be her luck that Gene would throw a tantrum over this.
"Everything okay?"
"Just fine Norm. Is it only the lights that are out?" She sighed, choosing to address Gene's behavior later when it didn't bother her as much.
"Seems so. Along with coms, but I think I can get those back up with a reboot." He reassured, sensing Grace's stress and hoping to alleviate it. It didn't help that the two people who were regularly interacting with the tribe, where most of the stress came from, weren't scientists. Gene was okay to an extent, she was brilliant but she was also a machine.
"Please. The last thing I want is a headache from Quarich on top of the one Gene is giving me."
While they worked on undoing the mess Gene had caused, Gene woke herself up. She blinked a few times, gazing up at the leaves and her hammock. Her body begged for sleep, but not enough for her to roll back over and actually give in. Instead she slowly climbed her way out, taking care to not wake Amhul who'd she'd since moved next to and made her way down the tree.
Her feet seemed to float over the grass, little sound coming from her steps as she slipped past the guards and outside of hometree. She didn't know where she was going she just needed to clear her mind. Error messages were becoming the norm every time she returned to her original body while the one she currently inhabited seemed to feel more and more every day. Some days it almost seemed to be too much, the names of the feelings constricting her heart escaping her more often than not. It made her confused.
Before she knew it she found herself in a familiar space. Pa'li rested together, heads bent low and sides rising and falling softly as they pressed themselves up against one another for protection. Even if slightly disorient having her conscious self split in three directions, she found comfort in sharing a connection with the gentle creatures, feet moving her in the direction of her favorite one so far.
The mare slightly stirred as she sat down next to her, antenna shifting to settle against her lap as Gene ran her hand over her skin. Things had been rocky when they first bonded, but now after doing it a number of times it was a wonderful sensation. She had trouble bonding with the other pa'li because of how her mind worked, the horse creatures startled at it unless they were older ones. It seemed the older they were the easier it was for them to look past the strangeness of her connection to them.
"What are you doing out here?" She looked up, startled from her thoughts to see Tsu'tey scowling down at her.
"I didn't realize I woke you." Sleeping closer to Amhul had consequently placed her closer to Tsu'tey by a couple branches. Not enough to actually see him, but she could better hear him when he woke up before he hissed at her to get up for morning training.
She turned her gaze back to the mare who'd fallen back to sleep, her foal tucked closer. The little one was a bundle of energy and trouble even if he was almost matured to adulthood. It'd be another few months yet before those of the tribe could ride him. "Grace and I argued. I didn't wish to remain, so I came out here to settle my feelings and hopefully quell my thoughts." She sighed. It'd been a good idea, and she loved being so close to such calm creatures, but that didn't really stop her mind. If anything the quiet and calm gave her thoughts and feelings more reign over her.
Tsu'tey snorted at her, tail idly flicking as he watched her. "Come." She tilted her head, but didn't question him as she stood and did as he said. He led her further from the tree, the surrounding forest swallowing them and the light of the fires. It wasn't dark though, if there was one thing Pandora always had it was light. The natural bioluminescence that everything possessed was a beautiful sight every time Gene remained awake long enough to spy the speckles of light that littered everyone's skin or a glance at the shimmering grasses the pa'li slept in.
She hopped across a log, a small cloud of bright spores flying into the air when she stepped on a mushroom, the dust lightly settling on her feet and the ground to give them both more light.
"Come on." Tsu'tey pushed, tone less harsh than before as he looked back to see her becoming mesmerized by the nature around them. She quickly turned back to face him, eyes and grin bright as she hurried to his side. Her sights didn't stay on him too long, soon getting lost in their surroundings again. A handful of fan lizards took to the air as they passed by, twirling fans making her smile grow even bigger as she watched them twirl past. Outside of training in the mornings and some afternoons, she really hadn't seen Pandora that much Tsu'tey finally realized. Unlike Jake who had another body to explore for him, Gene had admitted this was the only one she really had.
Tsu'tey slowed his pace, Gene unconsciously matching it as she grazed her hand across a leaf that curled back at her touch. Her tail curled in much the same fashion, swaying back and forth slowly in thought as she looked around. She quickly made her way over to a cluster of loreyu, hand reaching out and lightly touching the spiral that quickly shrunk down. A giggle escaped her, tail swaying happily as she rushed into the cluster and watched them all shrink away. Despite all her intelligence and her looks that suggested she was an adult, her behavior and curiosity was child-like. Even in her curiosity she didn't stray far from him, always staying within sight as she flittered around him in her eagerness to explore the night life.
Finally they came to where he was leading them, the pond a good place to either swim or forage depending on what they wanted. Plants glowed both under and atop the water, bathing the area in a kaleidoscope of colors that froze Gene.
"It's beautiful." She murmured, crouching low to better look at the colorful pads when she felt a push on her back and fell head first into the water. She gaps when she came back up, sputtering while Tsu'tey laughed at her, smirking at her bewildered face that grew into a grin and then her own laugh as she fell back and simply floated. There they rested for a time, gene simply floating and Tsu'ey watching her from the shore.
"Tsu'tey? I have a question." His ears flicked back at the interrupted silence, gaze cutting to her to find her eyes starring up unfocused.
"What?"
"What does it mean to be alive?" Her gaze slid to him then and in her eyes he saw a mess of emotions.
"Alive or dead what does it matter? We all return to Eywa, in this moment we are alive, and in time we will be dead." Her eyes returned to the stars, mouth pinched.
"Why ask such a question?"
"I wish to understand my purpose." He watched her closely. She'd said that word a few times, but every time she never actually said what her purpose was, only what she'd been made to do.
"And what is your purpose?" A bittersweet smile had his scowl softening slight.
"I know my purpose but I do not understand it. I asked my creator," His scowled at that word, tail twitching in annoyance, "I assumed at first it was to watch over her, but then I changed and so I thought perhaps I was made to help fix their world." A nostalgic look came to her face then, "'To see if I could' is what she said. To see if she could make something like me. But the truth was she didn't really know what my purpose was. She'd made me and I'd become greater than she envisioned. So I asked again when it was the last time she could ever tell me and she said 'To live.'" She turned to face him again, "but I don't understand how." It was almost whispered as she looked to him for the answers to all her questions.
"You don't need to." He finally settled on, unsure why he was even offering this to her. "Simply be. It is not for us to understand, only to know. Only to live."
"Is it really okay for me to just be?" His brow furrowed, tail lashing at that. "Stupid." He flicked water at her, watching her nose scrunch up at it.
"Okay." Another weight seemed to lift off her then as she smiled at him.
"Hey Tsu'tey?" He sighed as she broke the peace again. "I think I'm scared of tomorrow." No matter what she was going to climb the mountains that had started this whole adventure. That didn't mean though that her chest didn't tighten, that her heart didn't race and limbs tremor at the thought of falling to her end.
"Come." And she followed, never questioning Tsu'tey's words even when he clearly wished her harm. Didn't even blink as he led them even further from the tree and deeper into possible danger, only followed.
Finally they came to the tree of voices. It glowed brighter than any of the surrounding plants, branches reaching low to the ground to sweep over the dirt and raised roots as he led them under her boughs. Carefully grasping one, he brought his queue around and allowed it to twine around the pink tendril, a peaceful expression unconsciously softening his features and relaxing his body.
Hesitantly Gene copied his movements, caressing the pink limb softly before connecting to it and finding the spiderweb stretching before her again, heart pounding harshly against her chest as a deep breath filled her and the release freed her, fear gone as she finally felt settled.
"Thank you Tsu'tey." She gently settled her hand on his shoulder blade, no more than a gentle touch before she pulled away to avoid upsetting him. She'd be fine the web seemed to tell her, trust in Eywa.