POV: Shubman Gill
‘Sir, sir, look this side, please look here’. The paparazzi’s called out one by one. The sound of camera flashes filled the hall where the GQ magazines ‘Style icons of 2023 awards were being held. Young actors and sportsmen were posing on the stage with their trophies. The night was filled with interviews, posing for numerous news outlets, small talks and handshakes. Time passed in a blur of flashes and conversations. It was well past midnight when one by one all the guests started to leave the venue.
Shubman Gill, along with his PR team exited the hall, again to be met with more media personnel and fans, screaming his name. His bodyguards formed a barrier around him and tried to escort him outside as soon as possible. Shubman was a sight to admire, clad in a black suit. He smiled brightly at the cameras and waved at the fans as he hurried across the reception and left the hotel. ‘Shubman sir, one picture, one last picture’ they shouted. He obliged, he stood near his Range Rover and looked here and there as they called his name.
‘ Thank you, thank you," he said and got into the car.
The car made its way slowly through the crowd and got onto the highway. Shubman was tired, it was a hectic day. He unbuttoned the top button of his shirt and settled in the seat. Though there was endless traffic on the road, there was something calming about the warm street lights on the highway. Shubman’s eyes felt heavy as he stared at the cars slowly moving around him. He rested his head on the headrest and closed his eyes for a while.
The sound of a text woke Shubman up. He stretched and looked at the road, almost home. Rubbing his eyes he checked the phone.
‘you are out of ice cream.’
Shubman laughed and texted back.
‘why are you in my house?’
‘where else would I be?’ the reply came.
He laughed again and asked the driver to stop near a shop.
‘Sir, I think I should go and get it, if they see you, people will gather around’. His bodyguard said.
Shubman nodded and handed him some money. A while later the bodyguard came out of the shop and they drove off.
Shubman lived in a gated community. People from rich backgrounds either owned or rented out the apartments or entire buildings. The driver parked the car near his building and opened the car door for him. Shubman mumbled a thank you, said goodnight and went up the lift with his bodyguard.
The elevator door opened to the 15th floor. Shubman got off and walked over to his apartment.
‘You can go now Ibrahim, goodnight’ he said to his bodyguard as he unlocked the door.
The bodyguard smiled but stood back to make sure he went in and locked the door. Can't be too safe these days, even in gated communities like this.
Before he entered the living room, he heard noises from a video game. He shook his head and walked through the small hallway and made it in. His apartment was cozy and minimally decorated with black and white interiors. High windows opened to a vast balcony overlooking the city lights of Mumbai.
His eyes wandered over to the white marbled kitchen counter where there was an empty carton of ice cream.
‘ I should take your key back’ Shubham said and made his way over to the sofa.
No answer, the noise of gunshots filled the silence. Instead of sitting down he went and stood infront of the tv.
‘Yaar, get out of the way’.
Shubman laughed instead and kept moving to block the view. He had read from somewhere that, ‘when you meet the correct person, you don't feel butterflies in your stomach, you feel peace, a stillness.’
He was standing in front of the person who made him feel peace.
“Aafaton Ke Daur Men
Chain Kii Gharii Hai Tuu”
“In these troubled times, you are a moment of relief”
‘ Game over’ the game announced.
‘Behenchode!’.
‘Woah, you kiss your mom with that mouth?’. Shubman said laughing.
‘ No, but I kiss you’.
Shubman kneeled on the floor.
‘Kiss me then, Ishaan.’ he smirked.
Ishaan smiled and pulled him closer by the collar. He stared into shubman's eyes and kissed him deeply.
‘ you brought the ice cream?’ Ishaan asked after he pulled back. Shubman pointed at the counter and got up. Both of them made their way to the kitchen.
‘ How was the event?’ Ishaan inquired while taking the lid off the ice cream container.
‘It was alright, I'm exhausted though’ Subman sighed and sat on one of the bar stools.
‘ it's alright, you will be okay tomorrow with a good night's sleep’ Ishaan mumbled with a mouthful of ice cream.
He watched as Ishaan busily ate the ice cream, a bit smeared near his lower lip. Without thinking, as though on instinct, Shubman leaned in and kissed him where the ice cream was. It was a quick kiss, over before Ishaan knew what was happening. He blushed, despite his efforts not to. Shubman laughed and sat back down.
‘ you had dinner?’ he asked.
‘ yeah I had dinner with a friend’. Ishaan answered. He was done with the ice cream and was making an effort to clean. Shubman hated it when things were messy around the house.
‘ you don't need to clean, if you don't like to’.
Ishaan rolled his eyes ‘ as if you wouldn't bring it up later.’
‘Clean well, I am going to take a shower’. Shubman teased and went towards the bedroom.
POV: Ishaan Kishan
Ishaan cleaned up in the kitchen, switched off the lights and made it to the bedroom. It was a big room with high windows. There was a king sized bed in the middle and shelves with a collection of mangas and action figures of his favorite characters. Ishaan took off his clothes and knocked on the bathroom door before entering. Shubman stood under the shower looking almost divine.
‘are you joining?’ he asked
Ishaan stood frozen, unable to say anything. He felt flustered, and it's not that he hasn't seen shubman naked, he just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that this man was all his.
‘ uh no’ he mumbled and turned to the mirror.
He fumbled with the toothbrushes and started to brush his teeth. By that time shubman was done showering and came over to him. A white towel losely hung around his waist. He wrapped his arms around Ishaan and rested his head on his shoulder. Goosebumps spread across ishaans body.
‘ Still don't understand why you feel shy around me, we have been together for more than a year.’
‘ I don't feel shy around you’ Ishaan rolled his eyes.
Shubman shook his head and went out to the room. Ishaan finished up in the bathroom and got out. Ishaan stood near the mirror doing his skin routine. Ishaan joined Shubham.
‘ this takes so much time, this is the part I hate the most’ Ishaan sighed applying a toner.
‘ your face is your pay cheque, you should take care of it’ Shubman mumbled, leaning towards the mirror to check himself more closely.
‘ you look good shubh' Ishaan said and got into bed. Shubman smiled but didn't say anything.
Ishaan watched him wipe his hands on the towel and hang the towel on the rack. Falling in love with him was as easy as breathing. The minute he saw him, he knew he didn't ever want to look at another face.
“ Mujhe bheja tha duniya dekhne ko,
Mein ek chehre ko takta reh gaya.”
He sent me to see the world, I kept staring at one face.
Ishaan was a renowned model who had contracts with several high fashion brands. He met Shubman on the sets of a photoshoot for Levis. Ever since then, they stayed in touch in Instagram DMs, both too shy to cross the line and ask for the phone number.
Both were always looking for a reason to meet up, Shubman tried to indirectly talk to his PR team about collaborating with labels which Ishaan usually modeled for, but because of his cricket schedule and traveling, it was hard to stay in town for long. Luckily one day, a mutual friend of theirs held a Halloween party to which both were invited. By this time they had sent countless texts to each other, and spent hours on call whenever they could.
Once Ishaan starts to drink, he doesn't know how to stop. He doesn't remember how much he drank at the party, but he remembers in bits and pieces, of how shubman carried him home, and tucked him into bed. The next morning when he woke up, shubman had made him coffee.
‘ what you said last night, was it true?’ he asked.
Ishaan stared at him.
‘ what? Kiya kaha Maine, what did I say?’
‘ you confessed something’
‘ I don't remember’
‘ you said, fuck you shubman gill, I think I love you. Meri boyfriend bann ja? Be my boyfriend, I will keep you happy?’
Ishaan sat there shocked, it was all coming back to him. He felt a heatwave pass through him, he was embarrassed.
‘ woh joke ta, that was a joke!’ he stuttered, almost screamed.
Shubman looked taken back, he looked sad, almost sad.
‘ oh shit, why does he look sad, did I hurt him?’ Ishaan thought in his head.
Shubman took a deep sigh and looked away ‘well, fuck you too Ishaan kishan, I think I love you too’. He said
Ishaan couldn't believe his ears, he looked over to see shubman standing near the window, he was blushing, but he looked angry.
‘ why are you angry?’
‘ you said it was a joke, why do you care ‘ he answered angrily.
Ishaan walked over to him.
‘ are you serious right now? You aren't pulling my leg?’
‘ I don't know yaar, i just, I feel peace with you around, I want to spend every waking moment with you, I want to hold your hands and listen to you talk, and do domestic stuff with you’. Shubman confessed.
Ishaan felt a wave of relief, but a fear gripped him at the same time.
‘ Shubh, I love you too, a lot. But do you think the world would accept us?’ Ishaan asked.
‘ I dont know, but I know that, if it's not you, then it's no one for me’.
No words were exchanged, but in that moment everything changed. Ishaan got the boy that he loved from the moment he laid his eyes on him, Shubman got the man he loved, first as a friend, then as a lover.
‘ Ishu, are you listening ?’ shubmans voice pulled him back to reality.
‘ haan, sorry, what did you say?’
‘ are you going to be busy from now on? Since Lakme fashion week is starting.? Shubman asked, snuggling into Ishaans arms.
‘ yes! I'm very excited. You will come to some of the shows right? Ishaan questioned.
‘ if I am invited then definitely’
‘ babe I am inviting you!’ Ishaan said playfully, pulling shubman's cheeks.
Shubman laughed and hugged Ishaan.
‘ haan ji, Meri jaan. I will come.’ Shubman finally said.
Ishaan smiled and kissed his forehead.
‘ Oh shit! Shubh, some of my cousins are visiting so I will be crashing at home tomorrow night’. Ishaan said as soon as he remembered it.
Shubman who was resting his head of ishaans shoulder, looked up at him, a hint of sadness in his eyes.
‘ oh ho, it's just tomorrow night, I will come back in the morning’ Ishaan said and kissed his forehead.
Shubman hugged Ishaan tightly, and buried his face in the nape of his neck. Ishaan knew that he hated to sleep alone now, but he had to go. He played with his hair until sleep enguled him.
POV: Shubman Gill
It was the cold that woke him up. The duvet had slipped down his waist. He took the AC remote and turned off the AC. Shubman turned over while pulling up the duvet only to see that Ishaan wasn't in bed. He sat up and looked over at the bathroom, the lights were off. Puzzled, he got off the bed and got out of the room.
‘Ishu?’
Silence answered him back.
He walked towards the living room. It was dark, he looked over to the kitchen. No one was there.
‘Baby?’ he called out.
An uneasiness settled into his heart. He walked a bit ahead and saw someone sitting on the sofa. Ishaan.
‘ Ishu, why are you out here?’ Shubman said, and walked towards him.
He didn't answer back. No movement.
The uneasiness turned into fear.
‘ Is this some sort of joke?' he asked himself as he went to face Ishaan.
A scream. Shubman lost his balance and fell on the floor. His eyes were wide and his lips trembled.
Ishaan sat on the sofa, his arms extended but resting on his knees. Blood flowed out of the several gashes on his arms. There was a pool of blood near his feet, which was now flowing trickling towards Shubman's feet.
Shubman was still on the floor, unable to comprehend what was happening. Ishaan looked as though he was in a trance wide eyed, he stared at the wall.
From the corner of his eyes, shubman saw a shadow move and he looked in that direction. There was nothing. He turned to look at the sofa again only to see that Ishaan now stood infront of him.
Another scream, he tried to crawl away from him.
‘ you won't be able to stop it’ Ishaan groaned painfully.
Shubman woke up panicked. He was in bed. It was just a dream. His heart was still beating out of control, his hands and feet were cold. He quickly looked over and was relieved to find Ishaan sleeping peacefully next to him. His mouth was slightly open, one arm behind his head, the other on his chest. There were no cuts on his arms. He took a deep breath and tried to settle back into bed. The dream bothered him. The fear he felt in his dream still lingered in his heart. He turned and looked at Ishu. Part of him wanted to wake him up, but the other part of him didn't want to disturb his sleep. It's just a dream,he told himself, and laid on his back. He looked over at the window, and watched the moon play hide and seek with the clouds. The last thing he saw as he fell asleep was the clock. The time read ‘ 03:11’ am.
POV: Ishaan Kishan.
It was the urgency to use the toilet that woke him up. He threw off the duvet and walked sleepily to the bathroom. He came out and noticed Shubman wasn't in bed. A cold wind passed through the room and turned his attention towards the window. ‘ why is the window open’ he thought as he walked over. To his shock, shubman was sitting on the balcony, his back turned towards the room.
‘ what the fuck, Shubman!’. He shouted and quickly got out, only a second too late, Shubman had jumped. It all happened in the blink of an eye. Ishaan grabbed the railing and slowly looked down. Tears were streaming down his face as he saw Shubman lying down in a pool of blood, his limbs twisted from the impact. For some reason instead of facing down, he was facing up, towards Ishaan. His beautiful eyes staring up at him, wide eyed like as if screaming for help. Ishaan fell down into his knees, crying, out of breath.
‘ it's already begun’ a whisper in his ears.
Ishaan woke up in a state of panic. He was sweating, his heart was threatening to pound out of his chest. He looked to see if Shubman was still there. Shubman was lying on his stomach, both arms under the pillow. Ishaan let out a sigh of relief. ‘ what the hell was that’ he thought to himself as he lay back down. He turned over and touched Shubman's hair. He stirred and shifted a little, but didn't wake up. Ishaan tried to sleep, but couldn't. ‘ maybe a little music would help’ he said to himself and put on his headset and opened the phone. He played a lofi song and kept his phone away. The last thing he saw before he closed the phone was the time. ‘03:33’ am.