This is a follow up to last year's one-shot called Never Mine from the 2022 NaruHina fair!
Chapter Twenty-Eight
On The Outside Looking In
Prompt: Stolen Glances
Stepping through the wide, open doors of the Hokage Tower, a lone woman walked sedately into the lobby with laden steps, heart pounding painfully, stomach knotted tight as she moved closer and closer to what felt like her own personal gallows.
She swallowed the sick in her throat as memories arose, many, bittersweet, others nightmarishly painful.
Two months, sixty days away from the Tower, felt like a lifetime away in that moment.
Nostalgia bloomed in her chest, aching longing sinking it's fingers deep inside her heart. She recognized these feelings weren't only a desire to work here again, but a desperate wish to return to the point in time before she'd destroyed her career and reputation.
Pressing her lips together in an effort to hold back the sudden swelling of emotions, Yuka straightened her spine and coaxed her hunched shoulders from beneath her ears.
There was nothing she could do.
No way to change the past.
She could only move forward.
That what Yuri told her.
Push forward and don't look back.
She could do this.
Yanking her eyes from her toes, Yuka looked up...
...and froze.
He was there, striding through the open double doors towards her, white cape billowing behind his powerful form.
Tall.
Blonde.
Blue eyes burning with an intensity she'd only seen directed at her in her dreams.
Naruto Uzumaki was as handsome as ever.
More so if her pounding heart was any indication.
She hadn't seen him outside the occasional television interviews she only allowed to remain on her screen briefly at home; and once time at a distance during a red ribbon cutting in the newer developed area of the village while she was out with Yuri and other friends. Keeping Naruto Uzumaki out of her line of sight and thoughts had become a necessity, the only the way she could get through her cloudy days if she wanted to avoid having his presence, his very existence rip the stitches from her wounded feelings and leave her bleeding all over again.
Having gone cold turkey for so long, Yuka hadn't known how she'd feel if... when she saw him face to face.
If her heart would sing like it once had.
If it'd shatter into a million pieces as it had the last time he'd spoken to her directly.
She had her answer now.
It sang...
With every fiber in her being it sang like the choir of a thousand angels in the presence of the One True Divine Creator.
Her heart still belong to him.
Still longed to take that golden, coveted place right at his side.
Still wanted to wake up every morning looking at his beloved face.
She startled as he neared, flustered and nervous and excited with each long, ground eating stride he took. He was on her before she had a chance to gather her scattered wits, his scent, something masculine and heady, bombarding her sense before she could think of what to say to this man she still loved, still wanted, still-
"Excuse me miss," the Hokage threw cheerfully over his shoulder as he maneuvered around her, his stride never slowing as he walked right by.
Everything inside her stilled, tightening unbearably until she feared she'd snap in half.
An anxious tremble vibrated her stiffened form, a burn starting in her lungs as she fought to draw oxygen into her seizing organs.
Horrific reality crashed through her.
Naruto...he...
...didn't recognize her...
Not a single flicker of awareness flared in his luminous sapphire eyes as he swept by her.
How could he not...recognize her?
They'd kissed.
Their lips had met and fused for several breathless seconds.
Even though her impulsive kiss hadn't been reciprocated...hadn't even been consensual , Yuka had poured every ounce of her bottomless well of love and reverence into that brief contact between them.
Despite knowing she'd crossed the line that evening, despite regretting what she'd done, right or wrong, definitely wrong, in the days and weeks she spent hurting and crying over all she'd lost that day, despairing there was no way to heal her grief stricken heart short of Naruto Uzumaki's love, Yuka had comforted herself with what she had believed to be true ; the knowledge that he'd never forget her or that kiss even if he hated her for it. Convincing herself that her the agony she suffered now wasn't in vain, that he'd at least recall the intensity of her adoration through her lips even though he'd wiped the taste her from his immediately after.
That in the memory she'd planted, that kiss would mean...
Something .
And yet...
That sad, fragile fantasy lay shattered at her feet as he spoke to her like a polite stranger.
As though she were nothing more than another nameless, faceless civilian wandering around the Tower.
Even if it had been renewed anger over her egregious passed behavior, Yuka would have taken anything, anything other than this...disconnect.
This total unawareness of her very existence...
"Hinata," his voice rumbled behind her as she silently fell to pieces, his tone worried, loving , "what are you doing here, sweetheart? You shouldn't be on your feet, Sakura-chan's orders, dattebayo."
Yuka's frayed mind vaguely recalled rumors that the First Lady was having a hard time with her third pregnancy, their little boy, pre-name Haruto, was a terror inside her womb, sapping the pregnant woman's energy, treating his internal crib like a jungle gym, leading to a partial bed rest mandate from the renowned doctor Sakura Haruno weeks ago.
"But you forgot your lunch again," came an equally loving, all too painfully familiar tranquil voice, "and Sakura-san approved me for one short walk once a day, so I-"
A heavy sigh, then a rueful chuckle interrupted the explanation and justification, "and so you decided to use your only chance to stretch your legs and get some fresh air until tomorrow, to come to this stuffy old Tower and bring me lunch instead. Is that the gist of this little visit."
A soft giggle, "well, when you put it that way, it does sound a bit...foolish."
"Foolishly cute," he muttered, the words just barely reaching Yuka's burning ears, "now I don't know whether to eat you or my lunch today."
"N-Naruto-kun," First Lady stuttered, whispering urgently, "d-don't say things like that in public, someone might h-hear."
"Right," he laughed softly, "sorry. Let's head up to my office then, where it's nice and private and I can speak and eat in peace. Kinda glad you wasted your one walk to come here, because I'm suddenly starving, ya know..."
He wasn't talking about his lunch...
Yuka hadn't been around in months, but she remembered the tenor of his voice as he said 'starving', she remembered the soft smack of lips, the hushed gasps and rustling of papers behind the Hokage door when their leader took a 'lunch break' with his wife.
She closed her eyes briefly as their footsteps carried her way, their low chatter becoming louder.
Naruto teasing.
First Lady chiding.
Yuka willed herself not to cry, not to crumble as Naruto Uzumaki stabbed her in the heart once more, passing her by with his arm thrown over the delicate shoulders of his heavily pregnant wife.
Happy and unaware.
His world narrowed down to one woman, and one woman only.
First Lady's head turned as they walked...and as their eyes met and Yuka got from his wife what she desperately wanted from her husband.
Recognition.
It was there in her melding lilac eyes, but where Yuka would have thought it'd gleam with malice, warning and triumph, it simmered with kindness, compassion...
Understanding ...
And that hurt far more than the Hokage's blankness.
"What's wrong?" Naruto asked, glancing down curiously at his wife.
"Nothing," the Hokage's wife replied, her knowing gaze averting from Yui as she smiled reassuringly up at her spouse, "just...thought I saw someone I knew."
Naruto's gaze swept the room, touching on Yuka in the process, skewing her with the empty curiosity...then moving on in a search of a familiar face...
Passing hers again on the way back.
Nothing...
He didn't remember her at all.
Not even a glimpse of recognition on his face.
Surely death wouldn't be as painful as the hell she lived in now.
"Nobody really stands out to me except the regular staff and shinobi," Naruto hummed, "probably a civilian you met at one of your charities or something."
"Probably," First Lady agreed.
And then, they moved on.
Walking together, wrapped around each other in their forever lovey dovey bubble through the open doors leading to the main floor of the Tower offices; First Lady blushing and flustered as her husband whispered something in her ear, the Hokage grinning cheekily as his smoldering eyes gleamed with youthful mischief moments before they disappearing around the corner.
Yuka stood shell shocked in the wide reception area...
Hurting...
Breaking...
Dying inside as she had that final day in his office.
A throat cleared, dragging Yuka from her suspended reality after what felt like an eternity later.
Her gaze snapped to and held on the source.
An older woman stood behind the intake desk, shaking her emerald colored head in pity, her expression just as embarrassed as Yuka felt as she blew an exasperated sigh between her lips.
This woman remembered her too...
Remembered Yuka and the scandal she'd caused forcing a kiss on the beloved Seventh Hokage and getting herself transfered and banned from the Tower without official business.
And now, this woman had just witnessed her silently making a fool of herself once again.
Of having her heart broken all over again by a man that didn't want or need her love and affection.
YUYUYUYU
"Oh my goodness gracious! How adorable!"
"Look at his little face, awwww, he looks just like you, First Lady!"
"Whaaa, he looks more like Nanadaime-sama! You must be blind, look at those cheeks, that stubborn little chin, why I'd say he's gonna be as stubborn as his father!"
Yuka glanced up from her phone in the direction of the noise, her eyes landing on the infant causing the ruckus.
Four month old Haruto Uzumaki out for a stroll with his parents.
He was cute.
Incredibly cute...
One of the most adorable babies she'd ever seen her life in fact.
Yuka wasn't surprised.
Lord Seventh and First Lady created the most incredibly beautiful babies, and if their angelically carved features weren't gorgeous enough, those unique birthmarks lining their little chubby cheeks would do you in. It was agreed far and wide that the Uzumaki children were leagues more adorable than a basket of kittens.
Even she wasn't immune to their adorableness.
From the beginning, Yuka hadn't wanted to acknowledge his children.
They were a physical manifestation of his union with his wife; living breathing byproducts of his love, loyalty and lifetime commitment to another woman.
As beautiful and lovable as they were, they made that harsh reality far too painful, far too real for her.
It was easier for her to stomach her heartache if she told herself that she stood a chance if it was only his wife in her way, that his children weren't a factor, didn't carry as much weight as the woman he married did.
She didn't need to contend with them.
She didn't need to think about them all all.
She only needed to do one thing.
Replace his wife, remove her from the picture and everything else would eventually fall in place-
Yuka sucked in a silent, startled breath.
She'd reasoned out that 'strategic plan' years ago, reinforcing it over and over again far more times than she could remember in the years she spent in the Tower, fully convinced it was all she had to do to finally be with the man she loved...
It was only in that moment, as she stared at the newest, redheaded addition to the Uzumaki Clan asleep in his stroller with his proud parents smiling at the civilians cooing over the four-month-old, did she realize just how stupid, how horrendous evil her plan had been.
How ugly and cruel of a person that made her.
To want to tear this man from his family, from his marriage....
From his happy life...
The little baby yawned but didn't wake, his shiny bottom lip poking out in the familiar pout of his father in protest of the noise of the squealing village women surrounding him.
More hushed gushing ensued from the women.
The Hokage's baritone laughter drifted down the sidewalk to her.
Yuka watched him, eyes misting at the painfully sweet, wholly adoring smile he gave his sleeping son, marveling at how much brighter it grew as he wrapped his arm around the ivory skin woman beside him as he beamed that smile down on her too.
Yuka turned, fingers tight around her phone as she walked in the opposite direction, her pace clipped pace.
She was running before she could stop herself.
Wanting to outrun the harsh truth she'd learn about herself...
To do what she'd done, to harbor the thoughts she'd had...
To act on them without shame...
She was a horribly selfish woman.
YUYUYUYU
"Papa, gonna go swing!"
"Alright, but be careful," a deep graveled voice called back, grabbing the attention of the sole woman reading a book at a nearby picnic table, "hold onto the chains just like papa showed you, Maruto. Both hands, really, really tight."
First Lady's Little Shadow, a village nickname, not hers, bobbed his dark, spiky head, shoulders hunching shyly, his adorable whiskered face a combination of worry and reserved determination.
"Do you want to swing with me again?" Lord Seventh asked softly.
The boy shook his head, his low voice barely reaching her ears, though she was sure he'd said, 'no papa, am big boy.'
"I know you're a big boy," Lord Seventh acknowledged, confirming she'd heard right, "but even big boys swing with their papa."
The little boy said something else, though she couldn't quite hear it this time.
"Alright," the Hokage said, patting the boy's head, "go swing like a big boy, sister will keep you safe, okay? Sister won't let you fall, right?"
That last he directed at his sole princess, the endlessly adorable Himawari Uzumaki.
"Right!" the girl agreed with a nod, beaming down at her younger brother, "sister will hang on real tight and not let go!"
"Kay..." Maruto replied, his shoulders no longer hunched, his little face trusting and worry free.
"Come'mon Maru!" Haruto exclaimed, grabbing the boys hand and dragging him to the playground.
Yuka watched along with the Seventh as his children tore across the mulch.
"And don't stand on the swing again, Haruto!" Lord Seventh called after the trio, "your butt goes on the seat or it doesn't get to swing at all, dattebayo!"
Yuka couldn't help but giggle as Haruto threw a particular defiant look over his shoulder, aiming directly as his father.
"That kid's gonna be the death of me," the Hokage muttered, sighing ruefully, "I get this is my karma and all, but Haruto and Boruto? Now that's just unfair. Haruto alone drives me up the wall."
His griping was good natured and amused, further underline and emphasized by the wide, sunshine smile that curved his lips as he watched his children run for the swing set.
For once, her she didn't feel as though her soul was being shredded.
Rather, there was an ache in her chest that was warm and...happy.
Happy that he was happy.
Yuka turned back to her book, a small smile curving her own lips.
YUYUYUYU
Shorter than I'd originally planned, but I think this is fine :P I've been so busy and tired, I couldn't write more if I wanted to lol. So, the NaruHina month fair is nearly over, and I probably won't have another one-shot done before it's finished, though I am working on several, so here's how it'll go. I'm going to complete these one-shots in between main updates of my other fics next year, maybe even sproce up the ones I have written once I have more energy cuz my ass was lazy this time.
My goals going forward:
I want Monster completed in 2024, there is literally no reason for it to still be unfinished in 2023 honestly, but it is what it is, ya know? Life happens, shit happens, we all know how it goes.
I am going to update Butterfly, because, wtf me??? Lol. Truthfully, I did try to get it done but other fics have been hogging the spotlight, and when I say other fics, I mean Prey greedy ass. I will confess, I was lowkey working on it this entire month >.> it like would not leave my brain so I had too, lol, so chances are, that'll be the first main fic updated between now and whenever I start posting main fic chapters.
I also wanna start my throuple one-shot collection I have planned (and update ACFL <3) cuz I miss my throuple! And post several mult-chapter polyandry fics that I've been sitting on for years. I cannot wait! Closest ones to ready are a dark fic enemies-to-lovers one, a teammates-to-lovers one and a political intrigue slice of life one cuz of course folks in the village (and outside) are not gonna be happy with a Hokage married to man and woman, lol. Small mind are quite easy to find, after all, they've always been in abundance when other make the choice to color outside the line.
I've also started that Blank Period-Boruto era fic I've been whining about, because I just couldn't not, like have ya'll read this new Uzumaki family in these one-shots? Who doesn't need an extended Uzumaki family with daddy of the year Hokage Naruto and politically ACTIVE First Lady Hinata in their life?
If you don't need that in your life, you not human, get out my fic >:O
Those are the baseline of my plans.
More details in 2024!
If I don't post again before the new year, Happy New Year everyone!
Laters!
Sessakag~