ON A LATE FRIDAY NIGHT, the constant state of stress and boredom combined had me watching this show Ben recommended a thousand times any chance he got. I couldn't do much from my house, could only brood so much until it wasn't helpful anymore. So when Dad retreated to his bedroom and I couldn't sleep, I opened my laptop and tried to distract myself.
Two episodes into Breaking Bad, I felt the phone vibrate on the mattress.
Need water bottle. Pass me one?
As always, part of me felt guilty over all the work to watch my house. I often passed snacks and anything they might need to try to compensate. I'd even offered to complete some of their homework since they were this busy.
All quiet?
I don't feel anything close. You can come out.
Five minutes later, I snuck out of my room with a fleece jacket and crept into the kitchen. Armed with a flashlight, I was out the back door, scanning the blurry forest for wherever Luc might be. I never saw him unless he wanted to be seen.
A luminous blink among the trees placed me in the right direction, and he used signals every few seconds until I arrived at his abandoned backpack near a dense pine tree. Up he sat, on top of the highest branch that could support his weight. I clipped the flashlight out of the way.
"Ran out of water?" I asked and thought, why the hell not? I dug my fingers in and started to scale up. I could see ahead of me, but progress was slow as he snuffed out his light.
"Uh-huh."
I spiraled around the bark, rattling needles with each transfer, but I found a solid perch just underneath his. Before I settled down, my eyes widened at what he was holding on his lap.
"What's that?"
He smirked. "What's what?"
"That." I pointed at the wet little eyes poking out of his folded hands. "Is that a frog?"
He lifted it almost to my nose where I could stare into the tiny, brown critter. "Caught this handsome little lad before climbing and he decided he wants to chill here. My hands need to stay wet."
Ooh. I got it, now. "He didn't try to leave?"
"Nope. I opened my hands and the guy doesn't want to move. I'm kind of stuck here."
Since there was a frog that depended on me, I unstrapped my bag no questions asked and hung it within reach, then extracted one of the water bottles I was carrying. Luc let me pour a small amount. Once I returned the bottle, I leaned my elbows and chin on his branch, studying the thing and how calm it was.
"And I thought you were so lonely and bored out here," I poked.
He revealed a quick smile. "You've held frogs before?"
I perked up, shaking my head. Almost instantly, he gestured at me to open my hands, and I felt the feather-light patter along my palm as the frog gently moved. I couldn't help but stare at him in awe, because I didn't imagine it would be that precious. I never perceived frogs as anything cute or interesting before.
"Okay," I said, won over as I peeked into the hole between my hands. He was small and snug, and his throat was bobbing nonstop. "He's mine now."
Luc peered down, placing his free hands on either side of the branch. "Give it a name, in that case."
"Well, the mister looks friendly..." I brought it to my face, squinting. "How about... Swimmer. We have that in common."
He seemed satisfied with that and gazed at the cusp of trees. "You showed up at the most boring season. In the summer, you can hear all the frogs trying to get laid or go swimming in the river. After it rains a lot, the trails become mud slides. In wintertime, you get snowboarding and iced slopes. But fall? Fall is just pretty to look at."
"Iced slopes?" The aspects of winter sounded unappealing to me.
He grinned at my disdain. "The road in front of your house can get really slippery around February. If you want to have the time of your life or your car battery's dead, all you need is a shopping cart and it rolls you all the way to town. Speaking from experience."
"And you made it in one piece?"
"I have stupid privilege," he said so casually. "You can slide down entire mountains on your ass when it glazes. Just be ready to ruin your pants."
He noticed that I was looking at him weird.
"Your idea of fun is... perplexing."
The corners of his eyes crinkled. "You wouldn't try it if you could?"
"I don't like winters," I said and sighed. It was coming, whether I liked it or not.
"That's not very West Virginia of you," he replied, and I guessed the faint humor in his tone. "After the way you drove my car barefoot, riding at the edge of the seat with a gun on your lap, I figured you've finally turned into a true countrywoman."
"Stop." Despite that, I was smiling. I was scared out of my mind during the trip to the hospital, but the mental picture had its desired effect.
"All that's missing is the straw chew and overalls."
I rolled my eyes and went quiet. I wanted to ask if it was still safe outside, but knew better. If Luc picked up on any danger, he wouldn't wait for me to inquire. With Swimmer well nestled, I managed to straddle my branch, back against the pine.
"Do you ever do homework here when it's calm out?"
"Sometimes."
I glanced far below at his backpack and remembered that he can call the object to him whenever needed. "That's crazy. Popping out assignments in the trees during monster watch." I bit my lip, swung my feet in the air. "Goddang Wander'er ate my homework agin."
The long, full-throated laugh caught me by surprise. I had done it to entertain myself, almost whispering, then suddenly felt embarrassed for putting it out.
"It'll happen one day considering my luck," Luc said, propping one knee to his chest. He stared in the distance as the wind blew short waves away from his forehead. He looked so... normal in these brief moments, so normal it was captivating.
"Is there anyone that looks out for you?" I hated to ask, but the idea that an eighteen-year-old boy was just taking on this responsibility on his shoulders was incredibly sad, no matter how self-reliant he was. I hoped I was wrong. "Protects you while you do this kind of stuff?"
He frowned. "There's nothing to protect."
Did he believe himself there? Because that couldn't be true. With these creatures, there was a permanent risk.
"There's really no one?"
"No one," he repeated, and I couldn't grasp how it didn't disturb him, like it was natural. His head tilted. His eyes met mine. "Is that supposed to be strange?"
"You come when people need your help. If you're hurt..."
He waited for me to finish, though I never did and held my breath. He folded his arms.
"My body heals fast. Fractured bones, cuts, anything I've ever been through. After a certain age, I was on my own. All the strong ones are."
I shrugged, disappointed to hear that. "But you could get hurt over this ordeal."
"I'm the last person you should worry about, Sunshine."
I had so many things to say to that in my head, but wouldn't know which ones he'd care for. Why was it wrong to worry? Why was it so foreign to rely on others? It sat out of order in my chest when I tried to consider it from his point of view. He was older than Ethan, but it didn't justify this extra responsibility he clearly carried.
There was so, so much I didn't understand and wished I could pry his brain open.
He might start making fun of me if I pushed the subject, though. I looked at my lap.
Swimmer was padding around in my palm, so I asked for more water. I settled afterward, splashes dotting the fabric of my pajama pants.
"Didn't pin you as a Barbie girl," he commented while putting the bottle away, as if it was necessary. "The Spongebob shorts were cooler."
The mention reminded me of the evening we were together in the bathroom, the tension and the heat on my cheeks, of how I inhaled his scent and couldn't forget—couldn't cast that memory to a sealed box. How the hell had we gotten there?
"When you fixed Ben at my house," I began, and nearly chickened out. But I needed to know. "And you followed me into the bathroom... You were going to kiss me. Why?"
I didn't want to bear his stare again, but I was more curious to witness his reaction than afraid. I watched, intrigued at the grin he initially flashed, and then he tried to wipe it off his face.
"You're hard to impress. Maybe it's a guy thing. Wanting to check... if you hated me like you said, wanting to check if you were bluffing."
Oh. Did not expect that kind of honesty.
"What do you mean, hard to impress?"
He gave his head a shake, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. "After all the shit you've seen, you come and talk to us like it's nothing. Approach me like I'm anybody. Even the school kids turn around wherever I go. But you, you don't do so much as blink if I'm around. Not unless I tick you off."
I must be better at hiding things than I gave myself credit for. Everything he listed was false across the board.
"It's not just me. You keep coming back to confront Wanderers, like once wasn't enough. Devin was being especially rude to you, and you just leave the room. I wonder what gets you."
"You... were going to kiss me for that?"
He raised an unrepenting brow. "Yeah. Did it bother you?"
I was struck speechless. I examined the ground below, briefly contemplating jumping down to escape this question, but it was only fair to answer since I broached the topic when it could have stayed buried.
He did not like me. He was testing me.
That did bother me, realizing my first kiss would have been with some dude who just wanted to push my buttons. I wouldn't get to push his buttons or know what got to him. That was unfair.
"Don't do that again," I told him. "It's pointless."
He didn't hesitate with the nod. "Agreed, that was pointless."
My stomach twisted, but I was glad we cleared the weird stuff without one of us getting humiliated. I was just as guilty as him. He was going to try and I was going to let him. We had no good reasons for either.
Luc was bored to tears and, according to him, there wasn't much to kill time in autumn. In a last-resort effort, he whipped out my flashlight and animated shapes on the ground with his fingers, yawning. I figured he needed the help, so I took it upon myself to guess his nonsense.
"It's... a ball? The sun?"
"Think Swimmer."
"An egg! The egg hatches, tadpole comes out..." I tsked at the dark swipe and vanishing tadpole.
He winked. "That's nature, baby." He reached overhead to pluck a set of needles. "All right genius, next one."
I couldn't figure out what the dangling needles in front of the beam were supposed to represent, and I was at it for minutes. He refused to give a single hint.
"A hedgehog," Luc proudly unveiled.
Then he used a levitating water bottle to depict mini me surfing, and then mini me drunk and falling out of the tree. Peeved, I cradled the frog and stretched a leg to knock off the flashlight.
Against all odds, it worked and it dropped from the branch, landing in the brush without Luc ever doing the slightest move to save it. The light flickered and strobed. I surely damaged it.
"Rude," he scoffed.
"It's mine. I can do whatever I want with it."
He was out of ideas for a while, and I was content just resting against the tree to the hum of crickets, eyes closed. Their incessant noise was reassuring.
Soon, a weak bristle joined the chorus, and it originated from the ground but was approaching our tree at a slow pace. Something tickled the top of my knuckles. I blinked to see. It was... two dried leaves joined together.
"I wish I could do cute things like this," I said with a tinge of jealousy. Even the stems were placed at the front to mimick antennas. How did he not fill a room of these in the fall? I wouldn't resist the temptation if I knew I was capable.
"It's about the only nice trick we can do. The rest is all different ways to kill." Luc caused the leaves to flap on my hand. "We never had any other purpose."
"You guys have as much purpose as anyone else, now," I pointed out, moving an index to prod Swimmer.
We continued distracting ourselves with silly games after that, using leaves and needles and fake fireflies. Then came the time for me to climb down, release our little friend and trail to the house under his careful surveillance. When I shut the screen door in the kitchen, it felt as if I'd crossed the line back into the real world.
✩
When Riley and Luc forget to be assholes
Story's coming to a close, feel free to lmk your favorite character so far or which one you relate to the most. My favorite one isn't in this book, so I can't discuss, and I'm going to admit that Riley is the character I relate to the least.
I wonder if writers have this. I write better when it's a character that's distant from me. Other ones needed quite a bit of work to get exactly right, especially Luc.