The group left an hour ago and the rest of them went to the lake to take a little swim. Agami's plan was to join them and get her personal stuff first in the attic but when she entered the cabin, a loud scream of a high pitched voice welcomed her.
"No, I'm not done!" she heard Jackie yelling at Shauna who was standing in the doorway of the pantry. "You're obviously hiding something from me, and it's making me feel crazy!"
Agami shook her head as she watched the two best friends, hands up, as she turned around and ready to leave the cabin again. "Nope, I'm out."
***
[2021]
Jackie settles down in one of the eight chairs surrounding the long antique table in the kitchen of Taylor's mansion, which her friends used to call 'the royal table' because of its European candlesticks and always fresh centerpieces arranged on the platform as if they were always expecting a visitor. The porcelain set of Royal Doulton dinnerware present on the table was a sight for sore eyes, but not for Jackie anymore.
She used to think that being fancy after being born into a rich family was the best thing that had ever happened to her. But as time passed, she came to a long list of realizations, to the point that she couldn't even name them anymore.
As she eats with her parents, her mother suddenly breaks the silence that has been going on with them since they've started breakfast.
"How was your stay in France?" Mrs. Taylor asked the woman.
"It was great," the woman replied dryly. "I tried the art class you signed me up for when you learned I was in France for a break."
The old couple stared at each other after hearing Jackie's response. The man nodded gently at her wife, who then opened another topic.
"Did you visit all the places we suggested? I hope Hugo keeps you in nice company until the end."
Jackie put down the fork and knife she was holding harshly on the table, which created a loud thud. The woman closed her eyes and tried to collect herself before responding to her parents.
"No," she sighed heavily. "Actually, I ditched that man before he could even take me to a candlelight dinner after visiting Versailles Palace."
She looked at them with annoyance and let out a sarcastic laugh before speaking again.
"But I ventured off the itinerary you made for me, and you know what? I loved Aven d'Orgnac."
Mr. and Mrs. Taylor remained quiet after that, as they could not find any words to say to their daughter. Jackie then frowned at her parents.
"Stop setting me up to every man you know wherever I go, or you're not gonna hear from me again," she threatened her parents, then took a sip from her tea.
The old man reached for Jackie's hands, resting on the table, caressing them gently as he spoke. "We only want what's best for you, Jackie. You're not getting any younger," Mr. Taylor said softly.
"And we're getting old, dear. I just want you to settle down and see you have a family of your own like the other women of your age do," added Mrs. Taylor.
Jackie shook her head repeatedly as she responded. "No, we both know that's not gonna happen."
"Shauna, did it. I don't know how things ended up that way, but Shauna found someone," argued the old woman, oblivious to how complicated the story behind everything was. "Jackie, we let you do whatever you wanted to do because we understand how hard things must be for you after what happened. But haven't you had enough fun exploring everything there is to discover in the world already?"
Clenching her fist upon hearing her mother's words, Jackie threw them one last glance before leaving the table and going to her room.
"I don't think you will ever understand how difficult it is to find the place where you belong."
Jackie went upstairs and entered her room with a sad heart. She roamed her eyes around and stared at the random displays in her old room. The same picture frames, the same paintings, the pink curtains, and the night lamps on both sides of her bed from her girlhood.
She never changed anything in her room after she got back from being rescued; she never wanted to. Aside from the fact that she didn't use it much after they got back home as she left for college, it serves as a reminder of her innocence, the last piece that is left of her old self, which she will never let go of.
But since she didn't have time to brood, Jackie quickly washed herself and changed her clothes. There was a driver she paid to be at their service for the whole day, waiting for her downstairs. When she finished her preparations, she immediately went to the car.
They arrived at her first destination of the day. Jackie got off, then walked towards the house and knocked on the door, ignoring the doorbell on the side. As it opened widely, she was greeted by a young woman with a huge smile painted on her face who rushed for a tight embrace in her direction with excitement.
"Aunt Jackie!" squealed Callie, wrapping her arms around the woman.
"How's my little Ship?" Jackie greeted, circling her right arm on Callie's shoulder as they entered the house together.
"Still waiting to be adopted by you," replied the young woman like her father wasn't in the living room with them.
"Oh, wow," Jeff remarked, staring at his daughter. "Boy, Shauna was right. She's getting a real attitude."
Jackie ignored Jeff's presence and just focused her attention on the young woman, handing Callie some paper bags with the logos of famous designer brands printed on them.
"Got you some things. Go try them on," she told the teen, who once again squealed with delight at the presents that Jackie bought in France just for her.
"This is why you're my favorite person!" said Callie, her eyes beaming with happiness. "Thanks, Aunt Jax!"
The young woman sprinted to her room, too excited to try the new clothes that Jackie never fails to give her every time she goes home to Wiskayok. That leaves Jeff and Jackie alone in the Sadeckis' living room.
"Shauna?" she asked Jeff about her best friend's whereabouts.
"Uhh, in our room, preparing," the man responded.
Jackie nodded at the man and entertained herself with the new collection of books on Shauna's shelves, probably the ones that the woman reviewed for new hopeful authors seeking support. As she was busy exploring the shelf, Jeff ended the silence between them.
"So, how are you?" he asked in an awkward tone.
"Doing fine, having fun with my work," she replied in a flat voice.
"You're staying now for good?" Jeff asked.
The question made Jackie stop on her track.
Wiskayok was her home. She had good memories in her hometown and a few bad ones. But after the tragedy that happened in their lives, the home she was looking for after going back never felt like it anymore when they got rescued.
Sure, the familiarity was nice. There's Shauna in the same town, Taissa and Van, who were living in the same state, and their own Taylors' mansion in the same place, but the desire to venture out far from home grew inside her, which is why she rarely visits Wiskayok, or if she did, it was only a quick one, just like what she was doing now.
"No. It wasn't even part of my plan this year to be here," Jackie replied. "I'm only here because of some urgent situations."
"Right, the emergency that you girls were talking about. What even is that? Shauna's not telling me anything," said Jeff.
"Are you even surprised that your wife is not telling you everything?" Jackie asked in a sarcastic voice, which she noticed cornered Jeff a little and put him on the spot, so she immediately changed the topic.
"Don't think about it too much. It's just a girls' problem," she told Jeff.
"Shauna has a girl problem? At this age?"
"I said girls' problem. Us, the girls. Not just her."
Once again, there was a moment of silence between them after that. Jeff leaned against the back of their sofa to support the weight of his body as he focused his gaze on Jackie one more time.
"Listen, uhh, Jackie. It's crazy how, after all these years, I still haven't gotten the chance to apologize to you about everything," he said in a low voice. "I'm sorry for what I did to you-"
"Don't," she said, immediately cutting him off.
"What?" Jeff asked in confusion.
"Don't apologize for what happened 25 years ago, Jeff. I've already moved on from that high school drama between the three of us," said Jackie. "In fact, we never need to talk about that thing again because believe me-"
The woman stared at Jeff intently as she spoke. "It's not easy to casually reminisce about your best friend betraying you over a boy. I have a lot of good memories with Shauna, and that's not one of them."
Jeff was about to say something, but the sound of their bedroom's door opening was heard in the living room, indicating that Shauna was on her way out.
"You're not a bad person, Jeff. You just did bad things," said Jackie.
Before exiting the Sadeckis' house to go in the car again and just wait there for Shauna, Jackie spared Jeff one last glance.
"All of us did."
***
[1996]
It was the second night after the group left to do their expedition. Agami was sitting on the porch of their cabin, playing with her flute, to shake off the anxiety in her system involving the girls', Van's, to be specific, safety. Even though she doesn't quite understand what they meant, what she saw in her dream has been bothering her since they left.
She hadn't gotten the chance to talk with Lottie either, as the woman was obviously still avoiding her. Lottie was always with Laura Lee. The two have become inseparable, but she's not sure if it was for the best. There's something inside her telling her that she should ask Lottie about her dream, but she was also afraid of finding out about the fact that they should've stopped them instead.
Agami is staring blankly, waiting for sleepiness to pay her a visit, when she hears something rustle from her left side. The leaves move slightly, but not due to the breeze that is blowing.
Jackie suddenly appeared, her left hand holding a lamp, which was the only source of light outside their cabin and between them, while her right hand clenched onto a red notebook. She was about to tease the woman when Jackie didn't even spare her any glance and walked straight in her direction, or rather at the door.
Agami's mind soon changed upon seeing the woman's demeanor. She could sense Jackie's rage merely by looking at her. And it was evident in her angry eyes, uncontrollable tears that were streaming down her cheeks, and determined expression, as if she were ready to set the cabin on fire.
"Woah, woah!" Agami immediately stood up and blocked Jackie's way with her own body.
"Move," Jackie warned her.
Agami stared at the woman, trying to process whatever was happening with Jackie, even though she didn't have any clue what was causing her to act like that.
"Ahh, no," she responded, stepping a little forward.
"Stay out of my way, you fucking bozo," Jackie told her, hostile.
It's been a while since Agami heard that nickname. She's not sure if Jackie just came up with that or if she knew how some students in Wiskayok call her in school. Either way, she ignored the woman's insult.
"No," Agami stood firm. "You look like you would kill someone if I let you in."
"Can you just stop being a dick to me for a moment!?" Jackie burst out in anger.
Worried that the others might wake up, Agami forcefully dragged Jackie away from the door and distanced themselves enough from the cabin to not disturb anyone's sleep.
"Get your hands off me!" the woman yelled one more time.
Agami simply did what she was told to do to avoid any more problems, letting go of Jackie's arms. "There."
Her eyes met a pair of fiery ones, staring directly at her. Agami composed herself for both her sake and Jackie's.
"Sit down, Taylor," she told the woman in a soft voice. "Do not storm in there looking like that."
Hesitant for sure but also doesn't have much of a choice, Jackie stomped her feet and then sat on one of the logs in front of them. She could only bury her face in the palm of her hands and cover it as she cried again.
"Stay here," Jackie heard Agami say. "I'll get us something to drink."
She ignored the woman and didn't respond, her mind wandering off in different things as pain and crushing feelings enveloped her heart. Her sobs only get louder as she remembers everything that she just read from Shauna's journal.
Jackie wanted to scream, but she felt powerless. Every word that Shauna wrote in her diary was pointed to her. They were all words against her-how much her best friend despises her and everything she does in her eyes. She felt stupid for not noticing anything because, for her, Shauna meant everything-her best friend, her companion since they were kids-almost like her other half.
It turns out that Shauna had been screwing her behind her back for a long time, having sex with her boyfriend, and writing how much satisfaction she felt after doing it without her finding out her little secret in detail on the very same notebook that she gave Shauna as a present. There, she stated clearly in her journal how much she thinks her best friend was so naive and too focused on herself to even notice anything happening around her that doesn't involve her firsthand.
As Jackie lifted her head up to wipe her tears, there was a stainless steel cup being held in front of her face. She once again sees the woman who never failed to get on her nerves in the past months holding it, with a gentle expression painted on her face as she looks at her.
Jackie could tell that whatever the content of that cup was, it was hot, as there was steam rising up from it like a mist. But what intrigued her the most was the sweet aroma she hadn't smelled in a long time, so she immediately snatched it from Agami's hand.
"Where did you get this?" she asked Agami, who was holding another cup for herself.
Instead of responding to the woman's question, Agami sat down beside her, still leaving enough space between the two of them.
"Yep, you're welcome," Agami said, ignoring Jackie and taking a sip of her own cup of hot chocolate.
Surprisingly, the woman didn't ask again.
Jackie slowly brought the cup to her lips, and with shaking hands, she let herself taste the drink in her hand. She could only close her eyes as the sweet and comforting taste of the hot chocolate spread on her mouth, like it had brought back her old taste palate after months of eating bland and unspiced meats.
"Don't tell anyone, though," mumbled Agami, scratching the back of her neck, a little apologetic as she spoke. "These are the only packs I have."
Jackie didn't respond and simply tried to enjoy the drink in her hand.
"What happened to you?" Agami asked Jackie, hoping the woman would just talk about whatever her problem was and drop the possible idea of murdering someone in the cabin. "You look like an angry raccoon," she tried to joke.
The woman didn't hesitate to answer Agami's question this time.
"Shauna's pregnant," replied Jackie nonchalantly, then shifted her attention to Agami, who doesn't have any reaction to what she just said. "I guess it doesn't sound so surprising given that you already knew about it," she added to her statement, a provoking smile plastered on her face.
"Yeah," Agami exhaled heavily.
Jackie let out a high-pitched laugh with a hint of sadness from betrayal.
"Oh wow," she said. "I can't believe she told you first. I mean, who even are you?"
Agami simply stared at Jackie, offended by the woman's remarks, but was thinking more about how she would respond to that question. Her eyes then landed on the red notebook that Jackie was holding, which she recognized as Shauna's since she sees the woman writing in it almost every night before they go to sleep. And if Jackie had read its content, what's there to hide?
"Maybe it's because she wanted to confide in a stranger who wouldn't judge her for what she did-"
"Shipman wanted to kill her baby," she said, cutting Jackie off.
The woman gave Agami a questioning look, her hands clenching tighter on Shauna's notebook.
"I guess it's not written there, huh," said Agami, imitating Jackie's tone earlier. "Your friend didn't tell me about her pregnancy for shallow reasons, Taylor. It's not a competition whether it was me or Turner or other girls that she told about her pregnancy first."
She then faced Jackie and stared at the woman's eyes seriously as she spoke again. "But for what it's worth, and so you know, she was asking for my help to kill the baby once we get rescued."
Jackie remained quiet. What she read in Shauna's journal was all her bestfriend's loathing over her and a few mentions of Taissa and Agami knowing her secret and how the two were understanding enough to not tell anybody. But there was nothing about her plan to abort her baby.
"Did you know what happened the other day before Turner left, and while you girls were fooling around in the woods while the others were having a fucking baptism in the lake?" Agami said in a stern voice, relieving the memories from the past days. "We found her lying on the ground and ready to take the matter into her own hands."
"What?" Jackie stuttered.
"She's probably dead by now if she didn't change her mind," Agami continued to speak, finally getting rid of the heavy feeling on her chest.
"But not doing it solves her problem, right? Shipman still has a baby coming her way, and that makes us all fucked."
There was a heavy silence between them, as Jackie couldn't find any words to say from that information. Agami, on the other hand, could only sigh, pondering if she did the right thing by telling Jackie about Shauna's situation. But she couldn't take any of that back already.
"I know it's pretty messed up that your best friend fucked your boyfriend, and I understand that you feel shitty right now, but we have a bigger problem to face. We-"
Agami was about to say something again when her ear picked up a noise that sent shivers down her spine. It felt like a bucket of cold water was poured on her.
She stood up immediately from sitting, which confused Jackie as they were still in the middle of an important conversation.
When she shifted her gaze to the side, Agami saw a yellow and orange light from a distance, like it was just past the trees, but no matter how much she tried to run into it, she couldn't reach it.
There were howls that were so loud that they brought a tingling pain to her head. As she stopped running, Agami looked around like a lost kid trying to find her way.
"Why the hell did you suddenly run?" she heard Jackie ask as she pants behind her while holding the lamp that gave them the light to see their surroundings.
Agami looked at the woman, puzzled. "What?" she asked Jackie. "You didn't hear the howlings and see the fire over there-"
As she pointed in the direction of the fire that she was running into, there was nothing but pure darkness, just as the sound of howling disappeared in an instant.
"You're not making any sense," responded Jackie. "And if there was howling and fire, why would you even charge where that is? Are you insane!?"
Agami didn't reply to the woman. There was relief over the fact that none of what she saw and heard was real. But what bothers her is the image of Van that she had dreamt of before their group left, suddenly flashing through her mind as her heart hammered.