Chapter 10: Hurricane
Ysmael: I heard someone's playing house again
Reed: Dude, it's awkward
Ysmael: Why is he torturing himself again?
Reed: Like what you did last year?
Reed: Just to get your girl back?
Ysmael: Wow
Ysmael: We're talking about Apollo here
Reed: Dude's not going to answer lmao
***
Apollo's POV
I took a deep breath as I floored the gas and left Hacienda Arcangel. White-knuckling the steering wheel, I continued driving like a bat in hell just to get away from my ex-girlfriend. Frustrated with myself, I shake the images of her this morning by the riverside.
Her long black hair was plastered against her shoulders, gleaming from the first rays of the morning sun. Her beautiful makeup-free face, her smiling lips. Her curves were visible through the wet nightgown she wore.
No matter how much I shake the images off my head, they just won't leave me. They have been burned through my mind the moment I saw her resurfaced from the water.
God, I'm so fucking pathetic. While I was dying here, she was probably laughing and skipping as she went to Everly's place.
I still can't believe she's here in Hermosa. It's been a week and for someone who packed her shit and left without a trace, she's not showing any indication when she's leaving.
It's been five years and I'm still here. Sa loob ng panahon na nawala siya, she built a new life for herself without any of our help. She's got Leila and her old friends and that was enough for her to make a new life without us, without me.
She also found a husband.
She has moved on and I'm still here right where she left me. Frozen in time, still waiting for her to come back even when I learned she had married her old best friend. She could joke about us like what happened between us wasn't traumatic for her. Like it was too small for her to think about now.
Sino nga ba naman ako sa buhay niya ngayon? I'm just the ex-boyfriend who was almost her stepbrother. She has a new problem now. She has a marriage she wants to get annulled. Living with me again was probably the last of her concerns.
But it fucking hurts seeing her so nonchalant. There was awkwardness, sure. Hindi naman maiiwasan 'yun. But seeing how easily she got over it, how easily she forgot about the feeling of being that close to the person you wanted to be with all the time.
'Tang ina. Hindi na nga ako 'yun. When will I finally accept the truth? When will I fucking understand that her feelings for me are long gone now?
But the man she married cheated on her.
The same man who she was laughing with that night, the night I thought looked the happiest she had ever been, cheated on her and now that man is harassing her to get back with him.
She still married someone else. Kaya bakit siya maiilang sa akin kung kaya niya akong tratuhin ngayon bilang isang acquaintance na lang? To her, we barely know each other. I was just a part of her past.
Now, I'm just some guy that she used to date five years ago, while she remains to be the one that got away from me.
***
I can still remember seeing her again for the first time. After three years of searching, I was slowly losing hope but I persevered. I vowed to never stop looking for her. Halos patayin ko ang sarili ko para lang magampanan ko lahat ng responsibilities ko sa Hermosa habang patuloy siyang hinahanap. Kung pwedeng hatiin ang katawan ko, matagal ko nang ginawa noon. Halos patayin ko ang katawan ko. Hindi ko matandaan kung meron bang lalagpas sa apat na oras na tulog ang nagagawa ko noon, mahati lang ang oras ko nang tama.
Pabalik-balik ako ng Hermosa. During the first few months, Ysmael and Reed helped me sift through Metro Manila. But they also had their commitments and responsibilities they had to face. Kinaya ko mag-isa maghanap. I contacted the police, and then the NBI. I hired private investigators, paying them with my own money.
I didn't care if my savings were depleted. I wanted to find them. I wanted to find her.
But then we found her... and I didn't know what to say to her. I was so focused on finding her, that I never stopped to think about what I should say to her once we see each other again.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the stolen pictures taken by one of my private investigators. She has longer hair—it was also black now. She gained some weight but it looks good on her. She looked healthy... she looked happy.
Happy without me.
I was in denial. As soon as I saw her pictures and the address of a bar my PI told me she frequents, my brain stopped working and moved on autopilot. Without proper sleep, I drove five fucking hours to find her in Baguio, of all places.
I didn't open the other brown envelope my PI gave me along with Sahara's stolen pictures and that fucking address. Bakit pa? I thought to myself. I already have what I want. I just wanted a picture and an address.
So I went there and got the surprise of a lifetime.
"Sahara..." I whispered as soon as she stepped out of the bar, laughing her ass off. She looked so happy, so freaking happy. It was as if no one else outside her bubble existed. Like no one was searching for her. Like I didn't go through hell and back just to find her.
But then something glinted in her hand. The same hand the guy behind her was holding and pulled back forcefully. She laughed once again, turning around and wrapping her arms around him and kissing him on the lips.
"What the fuck?" I found myself asking in shock.
She was laughing. She was laughing while my heart was breaking at the god-awful scene outside my car.
Sahara pulled away from the man—no, I know this guy. I knew this guy. It was her old best friend from Manila, Dash. The same Dash who threatened me to take care of her or else he would swoop in and take her as his.
And take her he did.
I watched as she carefully wiped the red stains off his lips before pushing him away, still laughing all this time.
She was so fucking happy.
"Wait! Let me just do a quick retouch!" I heard her say to him even though her voice was muffled from the outside.
I sat there, motionless as I continued to watch her walk towards my truck and smiled at her reflection through my car's heavily tinted window.
"No." There's no fucking way this is true, right?
This just a fucking nightmare. I haven't sleep a wink since I learned where she is—nakatulog siguro ako habang mamaneho. I need to wake up. I need to find Sahara. Hindi ko siya mahahanap kung maaaksidente ako.
But I heard her muffled laughter again.
And when I looked outside my car door window, Sahara was standing there and reapplying her red lipstick. Then she used her left finger to wipe off the tips of her lips.
It wasn't just one ring.
Two rings. There are two rings on her left ring finger. One with a huge rock and one with a simple gold band.
It was like staring at the sun. You know you're not supposed to because it was going to fucking hurt, but you just couldn't look away. But I forced myself to do it.
It was too fucking much.
My eyes snagged on the brown envelope strewn as the front passenger seat and with shaking hands, I grabbed it and opened what was inside.
A photocopy of a new national ID and a marriage certificate registered in Baguio.
I scanned the files and read them as I tried to tune out her melodic laughter outside my car. The woman's picture matches the one outside, same with my Sahara's birthday.
But her name... she has a different surname now.
Sahara Reyes
Civil status: Married
Emergency Contact - Dash Reyes, Husband
Sahara is married.
My Sahara is now married.
Glancing at her once again, I saw the content and happy smile on her red lips. I tried swallowing the building lump on my throat but it just wouldn't go away.
I was too late.
"Goodbye, princess," I found myself whispering to the airconditioned wind as I watched the love of my life run towards the man she had chosen to marry.
***
Stepping out of my car, I came out running towards my house while clutching a small yet sturdy white box in my right hand. My other hand is pressing my phone against my ear. "Sir Apollo! Nasaan na po kayo? Kanina pa po ako nandito sa munisipyo," a panicked Mary Ann asked when I finally answered her third call.
"I'll be there in 15 minutes," matipid kong sagot dito. "Na-traffic lang ako pabalik."
I was about to drop the call when she started talking again. "Saan po ba kayo nanggaling, sir? Baka naman pwedeng inutos niyo na lang sakin pagkatapos ng meeting natin kay Mayor."
Shaking my head as if she'd see me, I answered back truthfully. "I went to the nearest mall and bought Sahara a new smartphone."
She was quiet for a beat. I don't know what the heck she was thinking, but I don't really care. Isipin na niya kung ano ang gusto niyang isipin. Hindi naman big deal sa akin na pumunta ng kabilang bayan para bilhan ng bagong phone si Sahara.
She needs it.
"Sir, diba sabi ni Miss Ara, hindi naman daw po niya kailangan?"
"I know," I said with a sigh. "But she needs it more than she thinks she does."
"Pero sir—"
Having had enough of her questions, I decided to nip the call in the bud and said goodbye to her. "I gotta go, Mary Ann. Please review the contracts and check if we've covered everything we needed to negotiate with them."
I heard her clear her throat before she finally answered. "Copy, Sir Apollo."
"Alright. Thanks."
It was Manang Jocelyn who welcomed me when I got inside the farmhouse. She was surprised to see me to say the least. She stopped wiping off the nonexistent dust on one of the bookshelves and walked over to me.
I greeted her with a nod. "Manang, si Sahara po?"
"Kanina pa po umalis, Sir Apollo," nakangiting sagot nito. "Hindi po nagsabi kung saan siya pupunta."
Oh. Right. Nagsabi nga pala siya kanina via text message. I don't know why she did that, but I felt knowing she was just by Everly's. "It's okay. Nag-text siya sa akin kanina. Dadalhin ko lang ito sa kwarto niya," I said, raising the box I was holding.
"Sir, pwede naman pong ako na magbibigay kay Miss Ara pagbalik niya. Naka-lock po kasi 'yung kwarto niya."
Of course, her door is locked. But I just can't leave this to Manang Jocelyn. There's a high chance she won't take it from her and ask my staff to give it back to me. It's better if I leave it in her room... so I could also leave a note.
Fuck. What am I? A hormonal teenager who's trying to win his ex back?
That's not what I intend to do. I just want her to be safe and to feel safe without her ex-husband harassing her with calls and text messages from unregistered phone numbers.
"It's fine, Manang. Pahiram na lang po ako ng masterkeys so I can leave this in her room," utos ko rito na agad din nitong sinunod.
I went to Sahara's bedroom door and waited for Manang to give me the spare key to Sahara's room. She went away as soon as I opened the door. Walking up to her bed, I looked around her bedroom and was surprised at how organized it was. Not because she was untidy or disorganized when we were younger... it just shocked me that everything was in place.
Like she's not going to leave the farmhouse soon.
Like she's not going to leave me—fuck. No. Not again.
No, I can't let myself get sucked in. I can't do this to myself again.
Sahara is like a hurricane that will reel you in and spit you out after, leaving a path of destruction in her wake. I can't get through that pain again, I couldn't do that to myself again.
Shaking my head, I grabbed the pen and the pad paper with our family crest on it from her nightstand. It was Mary Ann's idea to put one in every room of this house. It proved to be a great idea now that I have to leave a note for my ex-girlfriend today.
After scribbling a half-thought-out message, I ripped the paper off the pad and dropped it on her bed. Then, before I left her room, I placed the white box of the newly bought smartphone on top of it as a paperweight.
Please take this phone.
I want you to feel safe here.
- Apollo