CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The First Snow of Winter
One Week Later
Alana's POV
I've been married for almost a month and already I've spent a week away from my husband. Today a rider came and told us the hunt had been extended. Part of me was relieved but the greater part of me had begun to feel lonely.
Lonely because nearly half the castle had gone on this hunt. It was to celebrate Robb becoming a Prince of Westeros after all, so rightfully, anyone who did not go meant they did not show support to the crown. All of Winterfell's men quickly cleared out and followed suit to attend the hunt.
Leaving the entire castle filled with women and small children who could not attend. Tommen wanted to go but my father did not want to be in charge of a boy of his age. Causing Lord Eddard to leave Brandon and Rickon behind as well.
On the first night when the men all left I immediately mended Robb's broken gloves. It was easy as they were leather and reminded me of stitching skin together. Something I was good at and soon enough Lady Stark agreed to teach me to mend gowns and other fabrics. Which I've gladly taken her up on.
I even decided to make a new set of linens and matching curtains for Robb and I's chambers. It was still strange to say that we shared chambers let alone a bed but without him it has been slightly lonely.
Last night I resorted to letting Grey Wind out of his kennel and up into the room with me where he slept peacefully on Robb's side of the bed. Although I was lonely it was nice to not have to endure the embarrassment of attempting to make an heir with Robb.
There had been no passion and no love. I couldn't look at him after that first night. It was impossible for me knowing the pain behind his own eyes and that he still did not trust me to tell me about Aerion.
But what was worse was he saw me at my most vulnerable and in a completely terrified state. I was humiliated that night and it was not his fault at all. I don't blame him. I'll never blame him. Even if I wanted too I couldn't.
And believe me, I really fucking wanted to blame him.
My only reasoning for not allowing myself to be fully intimate with him is because I'm self-conscious now. I'm embarrassed and I never want him to see me like that ever again. I never want to trust anyone and be close to anyone in such a way. And hasn't been... He hasn't seemed as though he's as willing to do it either.
Bright and early my mother came into my chambers and brought up tea and scones. She placed them onto the side table and sat down onto the bed. Sneering as she saw Grey Wind curled up aside me.
"I nearly thought that animal to be your husband." She said with a hum and then a scoff. I sat up and took a sip from the tea she made for me. She didn't make it the way I like. She's never gotten it right. Robb did though.
Robb made me tea the morning of our wedding and since that day he's brought me tea every single morning. Lemon first in the cup. Tea poured over it. One spoonful of sugar. That's it. Nothing need be changed and nothing need be added.
Perfect the way it is.
Although I wondered if he knew that I made his apple blueberry scones by hand before his hunt. I did my best to follow Lady Stark's recipe but it felt as though it were lacking slightly. So I added some lemon juice to the apples before folding them into the mixture and then I added lemon zest onto the top before baking them.
I thought they turned out perhaps slightly better than before but who am I to be biased and give my opinion? No one but a stupid girl who can't even hold her marriage together. We spent our first two weeks as strangers who try to get to know the other but I couldn't speak to Robb. Each word he uttered I just hoped it would be about Aerion, that maybe- just maybe... He'd tell me about what happened.
He nearly told me something when we shared our first dance. A friend of mine taught me years ago. He was a great dancer. I hoped it would have gone further into a conversation about it. That maybe that night had my father not ruined it for us we could have done our duties passionately and truly enjoyed it. I imagined after that Robb would just confess it all to me. Tell me what happened. Tell me how it aches his heart. Trust in me to heal his heart and soul.
Because that's what I want to do with him.
But it's done nothing but shred me to ribbons that I can't even see through the window to his soul. He's built a wall and each time I try to break through he adds another layer. Another defense for me to break down. I can't do this.
I can't live my life fighting to love him if he can't love me.
"Robb is no animal." I muttered. "He's a good man. I think."
"You think?" She paused and then shook her head. "He's looking for one thing and one thing only, Flower. He wants an heir and he wants to lay claim to the gold your grandfather is leaving you in his will."
"Robb hardly wants an heir." I argued. "He can take the gold. I never wanted it anyways."
My mother grabbed me by my shoulders and breathed heavily with rage in her eyes. Her lip quivering as though she were to cry tears of anger just by hearing me utter those words. It's true though, Lannister gold means nothing to me, Baratheon pride means nothing to me, life slowly means nothing to me.
"You are a Lannister-"
"I'm a Stark now." I argued and then held up my hand for my mother to see the gold ring on my finger that had the sigil of House Stark pressed into it.
"By blood you are a Lannister. You are my daughter, my pride and joy- you are your grandfather's heir to Casterly Rock, you get the land and the gold. All of it. My father knew from the moment Joffrey was born that there was no hope for you to ascend the Iron Throne so he secured our ancestral home for you. All the riches... Just for you."
"I don't want it. Give it to Tommen. I have all of the north now." I shrugged. "That's much greater than Casterly Rock."
"You would have the north and the west. You'd need two create two heirs in that case. One for Robb's seat in the north and yours in the west where you belong... Where I should have sent you years ago. My father would have kept you safe-"
"I. Don't. Want. It." I argued more but it seemed as though she was not understanding it. "Give it to Myrcella or Tommen. I don't want the west or the fucking gold. It means nothing to me."
A slap landed across my face and placed my hand to my cheek. Shocked and gasping at my mother who seemed to be unbothered by the fact she just struck me. This wasn't new for her but you'd think since I'm not a married woman and in my new home she'd show me the slightest bit of respect. But in her eyes she's still the queen and will always have the upper hand.
She glared at me and then rose to her feet. Pointing her finger at me and shaking her head. "Where did I go wrong with you? With Joffrey? Even Myrcella has begun to rebel against your father and I. You know... I felt awful for forcing you to go through what I went through. I though perhaps it would mend this broken relationship in our family between you and I. Between your father and I seeing as he got his way and had Baratheon blood bound together with Stark blood. Now I see you as you are, your own righteousness. You will be swallowed whole by your madness soon enough, Alana. And I will not sit here while you are."
"No one asked you too." I bit back. "I never wanted your pity. I never wanted anything but a mother. I wanted you to love me and care for me but you didn't."
"You're right! When you were seven years old I agreed to let you wed Robb Stark-"
"Seven?" I jumped to my feet and looked around the room and Grey Wind came right to my side to protect me. He knew how upset I had become and Robb had told Grey Wind on countless times to always stand by me. "I thought this idea came up when we were on the road here? You know? Just over a month ago?"
Silence.
"Who else knows." I muttered.
Silence.
"Fine. But just know when Robb returns from the hunt next week, I will tell him that we were fooled for years. That we were played into a shitty hand and that perhaps we could have developed something many of years ago but rather my mother in particular found it more fitting let us suffer and hate one another." I opened the door and waved my hand in a motion that let her know it was time to get out.
She stood in the door way and then looked at me. "You have no idea the monster that lays in that bed with you. His murdered his best friend last year and everyone here lies and says it was an accident. But it was not. It was murder."
The door slammed and my stomach instantly sank. I ran to the nearest bucket and hurled into it. Robb was not a murderer. He didn't kill Aerion- he'd never kill anyone, especially not his best friend.
Sansa would never have told me if that were the case.
Even Jon... If Jon wanted to truly keep me away from Robb he would have told me in an instant that Robb actually murdered Aerion. There's no way he would have kept that such a secret especially if he claimed how badly he wanted to protect me.
My knees were shaking and my stomach was empty but still wanted to expel anything that was in it. I was sweating and clutching onto the sides of the bucket as I sat there and sobbed uncontrollably.
Grey Wind kissed my face and I knew... He would have known or sensed if Robb was evil. Truly evil enough to murder his best friend. I refused to believe it. I wouldn't believe. My mother just wanted me to hurt the way she hurts.
And she will hurt and rot alone if she thinks I will ever forgive her for this. For spreading these accusations and these falsehoods about Robb.
About my husband.
-
Outside it had been an even more brisk cold than it had been. The wind was enough to freeze you down to the bone if you weren't careful. I noticed Lady Stark was directing merchants and carts on where to go and she seemed like she had been stressed.
I stepped down the stone steps and joined her in the courtyard to offer her my help as best as I could. After all, I'd be Lady of Winterfell after her. It's time I truly start taking my duties and titles seriously.
"My Lady, may I help you?" I offered kindly.
She nodded with relief. "Oh, goodness- could you?" She pointed to a cart and added, "Lord Manderly sent fish from the harbor could you help those poor boys over there who have no idea where the kitchens are? You're a life saver, Princess."
I smiled back to her. "Alana... Please, just call me Alana."
"Thank you, Alana." She kissed my cheek and then went back to shouting at someone else who was not paying attention at all to her directions. Typically this was Ser Rodrick and Lord Eddard who took care of these things. Now it was for Lady Stark and now myself.
But I didn't mine, it got me out of my chambers and away from my mother who had been confined to her own chambers. Even Myrcella didn't want to be near her. She said that mother was killing her mood and killing her sanctuary she had found here just by the look on her face.
I refused to let my mother ruin my time. I refused to let her ruin my life any further. She had never been much of a mother to me especially after Joffrey was born, she always preferred him and then when Myrcella was born it was her, and now- it's always Tommen.
The boys who came for Lord Manderly had opened their cart and had crates filled with fish. The smell was enough to make me twist my face just as my stomach twisted too. I had grown up in King's Landing right on the harbor but smelling those fish in such a small and confined space I had never realized before how strong the scent truly was.
"Follow me," I said with a napkin covering my mouth and nose as I held in a gag. "Right through here." I lead them to the back door to the kitchens and part of me giggled at the memory of Robb losing his entire stomach's contents in that very doorway onto the dirt below.
"Princess Alana?" One of the boys said with a look of recognition. "It's me, Matthos Seaworth, do you remember me?"
"The Onion Knight's son!? Of course I remember you!" I hugged onto him tightly. We were close friends growing up. One of the few people I ever was allowed to be around when I lived in King's Landing.
He smiled and placed the wooden box of fish onto the table and leaned against it. "I heard the Princess was wed to Lord Eddard's son, but I didn't expect that princess to be you."
I nodded and bit my lip while I smiled. "You think they'd have wed Myrcella before me?" I laughed slightly. "What brings you to working for Lord Manderly?"
He shrugged. "Lord Stannis knew my father was good at smuggling and that he was great with ships, so when Lord Manderly sent word across the realm that he needed some good men who knew their way around the harbor and ships. Lord Stannis asked my father and I if we'd be willing to help, so- here we are."
"It's wonderful to see you again." I wrapped my arms around him once more and held tightly. Someone from home who feels like home. I took a step back and smiled at him. "I wish I could introduce you to Robb but-"
"Away on the hunt. I heard." He chuckled. "Stannis sent a raven to my father by rider when we were down at the harbor. Apparently it's been... Not going well. Ned bastard has been miserable and your husband beat his ass. Three times already."
"What?" I gasped. "What about?"
He shrugged again. "There's only so much you can put into a letter."
"And yet they extended the hunt? Robb will be hunting Jon if that's the case." I muttered. "I can't allow for that to happen."
"Robb's a good man from what I've heard. Hell of a year he's had." Matthos knew too? How the hell does Matthos know and yet the words never left Robb's tongue to me? I scoffed and shook my head at him. "Surely you've heard about his friend, Aerion."
"Not from him." I muttered quietly and then dragged him to a quiet spot where we could not be over heard but still seen so no one would make assumptions. I took a deep breath and calmed myself before exploding into a million questions.
Matthos looked at me confused for a moment. "He... He hasn't told you?"
"What do you know? What's the story you've heard?" I asked softly.
He scratched his temple and muttered incoherently for a moment before looking into my eyes with confusion. "How do you know but your own husband has not told you?"
"I asked what you knew." I crossed my arms and breathed out "Please, Matthos. I've heard too many stories and I can't place the truth. How do you know and what do you know?"
"Well I met Aerion's wife, Jeyne, really nice girl. She travels between the village here and to White Harbor where her father is a fisherman. Anyways, I met her on the docks and she told me about her late husband and how he passed in a fishing accident." He explained.
The river... Robb loves to sit by the river when he's upset. If Aerion died by the river then that explains so much more about Robb. If Robb had murdered him then why would he return to the scene of the crime to ease himself? That's not what most murderers do.
"She says it was an accident?" I asked softly.
He nodded. "There's these rocks that would make a path from one side to the other," He said as he spoke with his hands. "When the tide is low it's easy to cross them but that day... The tide was high and the current was strong. He slipped and hit his head onto the rock. He didn't drown, he was dead when his head cracked on the stone. Robb jumped in to save him and nearly drowned himself. Theon Greyjoy saw them wash up onto the shore and pulled them out, Robb was in rough shape but... Aerion's head was nearly split in two. They call that the blood river now."
"Jeyne herself told you this?" I believed every word that came from Matthos and if it truly came from Aerion's wife then I know it to be true.
Matthos nodded. "Both Robb and Theon told her what happened that day. And she saw Aerion's body herself. It was a terrible accident... Horrible. Robb tried to stop him from going out into the water like that, he called out to him to be careful on those rocks but... But it was too late."
"Where is Jeyne now?" I asked.
"She lives down in the village with her son." He smiled. "Cute little guy, why do you ask?"
"Take me to her."
As I said those words... Flakes of snow fell from the sky. Landing onto the palm of my hand. The perfect crystalized snowflakes and I knew that it was a good sign. That I need to meet with Jeyne and hear from her lips that my husband is a good man and not a murderer.