✨NO ONE'S POV✨
The scene opens to you, Dipper, and Mabel in the living room, watching a show on television called Duck-tective. You were sitting by dipper relaxing as dipper had his arm around your shoulder. The shows features a constable and a duck detective standing next to a telephone booth that has limbs of an unseen dead person sticking out.
While watching the television program, Mabel knits a new sweater and Dipper eats popcorn from a bowl. Mabel reaches for some popcorn, but Dipper slaps her hand. But you grabbed some popcorn from him and gave Mabel some making dipper just sigh and look at the tv.
Constable: I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident.
Duck-tective: Starts quacking, the subtitles read:) Accident, constable? Or is it...Murder?!
Constable What?!
TV announcer: Duck-tective will return after these messages.
Mabel: (Drops her sweater and gasps) That duck is a genius!
You nodded along with her.
Dipper: Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground.
Mabel: Hands on her hips, squinting at Dipper doubtfully) Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?
Dipper: Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation. (Dipper removes his arm from you) For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating (Sniffs) ...an entire tube of toothpaste?!
Mabel: (Her mouth covered in sparkling toothpaste) It was so sparkly...
(You covered your mouth about to laugh)
Soos: (Runs in) Hey, dudes, you'll never guess what I found!
You: candy?
Dipper: Buried treasure!
Mabel: Buried-- (laughs and pushes Dipper playfully) Hey, I was gonna say that!
Soos: (Leading the twins and you to a door) So, I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy! (Opens the door)
The room is filled with several different wax sculptures.
Dipper: (Shining a flashlight around) Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!
Mabel: (Fingering Wax Sherlock Holmes)
They're so life-like.
You: (you also poked the wax Sherlock Holmes)
Dipper: (Shines flashlight and points to Stan) Except for that one.
Stan:Hello!
Dipper, Mabel and Soos (except you) screams in surprise
Stan: (Chuckles) It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!
Dipper, Mabel and Soos: (Scream even louder in fright and run away with Mabel grabbing you)
✨Cue to theme song.‼️
Stan: Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! It was one of our most popular attractions... before I forgot all about it. I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, (Looks at a wax sculpture of Larry King) some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?
Dipper: (Shudders) Is anyone else getting the creeps here?
Stan: And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over-- (Looks at the melted glob of wax on the floor, which is under sunlight from the window above it) Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction! (Bends down and puts finger in wax; sighs) How do you fix a wax figure?
Mabel: Cheer up, Grunkle Stan. Where's that smile?
Stan: Egh.
Mabel: Beep, bop, boop! (Cheerfully pokes Stan in the face)
Stan: Ow.
Mabel: Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!
Stan: You really think you can make one of these puppies?
Mabel: Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm? (Holds up her arm, which has a glue gun glued to it; shakes her arm) Eugh, eugh!
You tried to pull it off only making you loose your grip and landing on your butt.
Stan: I like your gumption, kid!
Mabel: I don't know what that word means, but thank you!
Dipper is drinking a soda while handing you one and walks towards Mabel.
Mabel: Dipper!
Dipper: (Starts choking on soda)
Mabel: What do you think of my wax figure idea? (Shows Dipper a drawing that she sketched in her sketch-book) She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!
Dipper: M..maybe you should carve something from real life.
Mabel: (Shows Dipper another sketch that she created) Like a waffle, with big arms!
Dipper: Y-okay... Or, you know, something else. Like- like someone in your family. Or even y/n!
(You were just blinking mindlessly)
And then stan enters the scene getting the attention off of you.
Stan: Kids, have you seen my pants? (Poses on a briefcase)
Mabel: (Turns around, her eyes become big) Oh, muse. You work in mysterious ways.
Stan: Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?
✨Cue to a montage of Mabel busily working on Wax Stan.✨
Mabel: (Moves back to admire her work) I think... it needs more glitter.
Soos: Agreed. (Hands Mabel a bucket of glitter)
Mabel: Tosses the entire bucket onto the statue)
Stan: Walks in with his pants on but not his shoes) I found my pants but now I'm missing my-- (Notices Wax Stan) Ahhh! (Falls over)
You tried to catch him only to have Mabel grab you quickly to her side before Stan could squash you with his body
Mabel: What do you think?
Stan: I think... the Wax Museum's back in business!
✨Cut to Soos leading people to see the grand opening of the Wax Museum.✨
Dipper is working in the stand with Wendy.
Dipper: I can't believe this many people showed up.
Wendy: I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something.
Dipper: He bribed me. (Holds up dollar)
Wendy: (Holds up a dollar. They both laugh.)
You walk up holding 10 dollars as you innocently flaunt it to them making their jaws drop
Stan: (Clears throat over the microphone) You all know me, folks! Town darling, "Mr. Mystery." Please, ladies, control yourselves!
three women in the audience staring blankly ahead, flies swarming around them.
Stan: As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world, has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me! (Uncovers Wax Stan)
Soos: (Makes a fanfare sound on his keyboard, then makes a "Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!" sound)
Two people in the audience politely clap and someone coughs.
Stan: And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!
Mabel: It's Mabel. (Takes microphone) Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! (Throws up her arms) It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!
Audience:Ugh! Ewwww!
Mabel: (Chuckles) Yeah. I will now take questions! (Points to McGucket) You there!
Old Man McGucket : Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?
Mabel: Um...Yes! Next question! (Points to Toby Determined)
Toby Determined: (Holding a turkey baster as if it is a microphone) Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?
Stan: Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby.
Toby : It certainly is--
Stan: Next question. (Points to the female reporter of the name of Shandra Jimenez)
Shandra Jimenez: Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Shows flyer Is this true?
Audience members: That's what I heard! ... Come on! ... What a rip-off! ... Pizza? ... I want my pizza!..
Stan: That was a typo. Good night, everyone! (Uses a smoke bomb to escape, taking the admission fee with him)
Audience: (Leaving furiously)
Pizza Guy: (Sadly walks off)
Manly Dan: (Punches a pole) In your face!
Mabel: I think that went well. (Leans on the admission table while looking at you)
You look back at her and hold her hand as she smiles.
✨Scene changes to the Mystery Shack, where Stan is counting the money he got.✨
Stan: Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person, this guy! (Points to Wax Stan)
Mabel: (Jokingly punches Stan)
Stan: Ooh! (Noogying her) Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin. Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go! (Sighs) Kids.
Stan then looks back to theTV.
Constable: Well, duck-tective, it seems you've really quacked the case.
Duck detective:(Quacking; subtitles read)Don't patronize me.
Stan: (Laughs) Stupid duck! Well, I'm gonna use the john. You need anything? (Laughs) I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere.
✨scene changes to Dipper, you, and Mabel brushing their teeth✨
Dipper: (smiling) it nice to have you stay the night y/n, whose bed you gonna sleep in tonight?
(You point to Mabel as Mabel jumps excited to have her turn to have you sleep with her)
It became usual for the twins to share their friendly affection towards you. (Dipper nods as you start to brush your teeth)
Mabel: Dipper, you wanna do a toothbrush race?
Dipper: Okay.
Stan: (Offscreen; screaming:) No... No... Noooooo!!!!!!
Dipper, you, and Mabel: (Look at each other and go downstairs)
Stan: Wax Stan! He's been... m-murdered! (Clock bongs three times)
Mabel:(Faints)
(You caught her before he falls completely)
✨Timeskip to Stan explaining the situation to the police officers.✨
Stan: I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back, blammo! He's headless!
Mabel: My expert handcrafting... besmirched. (Crying) Besmiiiirrrched!
Dipper: Who would do something like this?
Deputy Durland: What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?
Sheriff Blubs: Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts... this case is unsolvable.
Dipper, Mabel, you and Stan: What?!
Stan: You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!
Dipper: You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want.
Mabel: He's really good. He figured out who was eating our tin cans! (You nodded)
Dipper: All signs pointed to the goat.
Stan: Yeah, yeah! Let the boy help. He's got a little brain up in his head.
Blubs: Oooh! Would you look at what we got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!
Durland: City boooy! City booooooy!
Blubs: You are adorable!
Dipper: Adorable?
Blubs and Durland : (Laugh)
Blubs: Look, P.J.'s, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?
Man: Over Blub's walkie talkie:) Attention, all units. Steve is going to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!
Durland: It's a 23-16!
Blubs: Let's move!
Blubs and Durland: (Run off laughing)
Dipper: That's it! Mabel, you and me are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable. (Sneezes)
Mabel: Aww, you sneeze like a kitten! (Dipper glares at her)
You pet dipper as if he was a cat but dipper's glare soften and just crosses his arm with a sigh
✨Commercial break by chibi y/n break dancing and chibi dipper and chibi Mabel nodding to the beat✨
✨It's the next morning. ✨
Dipper and Mabel are studying the crime scene while you are still sleepy having your body lean on dipper.
Dipper: Wax Stan has lost his head and it's up to us to find it.
Mabel: (Takes pictures)
Dipper: There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. (Looks at the bulletin board with pictures of suspects) The murderer could have been anyone.
Mabel: Yeah! Even us!
Dipper: In this town, anything is possible. Ghosts, zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue.
Mabel: Hey, look! A clue.
There are shoeprints in the carpet.
Dipper: Footprints in the shag carpet! (You woke up, getting off of dipper and touching the footprints)
Mabel: That's weird. They've got a hole in them.
Dipper: And they're leading to...
There's an ax on the floor.
Dipper and Mabel: (Gasp, then look at each other and you as you grabbed the axe)
✨Scene changes to the twins in the gift shop with Soos.✨
Dipper: So, what do you think?
Soos: In my opinion: this is an ax.
Mabel: Wait a minute. The lumberjack!
Dipper and Mabel: Of course!
✨Flashback to Manly Dan punching the pole.✨
Manly Dan: In your face!
✨Back in the present.✨
Dipper: He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza.
Mabel: Furious enough, for murder!
Soos: Oh, you mean Manly Dan. Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown.
Mabel: Then that's where we're going.
Soos: Dude, this is awesome. You three are like: The Mystery Trio!
Dipper: Don't call us that.
Dipper, you, and Mabel walk out to only see Stan pulling a coffin out his car
Stan: (Pulling a coffin out of his car) Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doin' a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy. (Pulls the coffin out of the car)
Dipper: Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we've got a big break in the case!
Mabel: Break in the case!
(You say making a karate pose)
Dipper: We're heading into town right now to interrogate the murderer.
Mabel: We have an axe! (Shows Stan the ax in Dipper's bag; Making a horror movie screeching sound as you swing it around recklessly) REE, REE, REE!
Stan: Hm, seems like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing... Good thing I'm an uncle and boss. Avenge me kids! AVENGE MEEE!!
✨Scene to the town, you, Dipper and Mabel are sneaking behind a dumpster near the Skull Fracture.✨
Dipper: This is the place. (Gasp when Tats looks at him) Got the fake IDs?
Mabel: (Gives him one and you one)
Dipper: (Looking at ID) Here goes nothing.
Tats: (Looks at an ID card) Sorry, but we don't serve miners.
Miner: Daaaannnnng'nab it! (Spits on the road and walks off) Eughh!
Mabel: (She, you and Dipper walk up) We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumber jack for the murder of wax Stan. (She, you, and Dipper show their fake ID cards; Mabel jingles hers) Dedledle-e.
Tats: Works for me. (Opens door for the twins and you)
Men are fighting inside the Skull Fracture. You, Dipper, and Mabel walk inside and look around. Your eyes light up at the cool place which seems dangerous to other but fun to you. Your tongue pops out your mouth as your derpy face is noticeable.
Dipper motions for Mabel and you to follow him.
Mabel: (Walks over a body) He's resting.
Dipper: Alright, let's just try to blend in, ok?
Mabel: You got it, Dippingsauce. (Climbs onto a chair and talks to a man) Hey there, fellow restaurant patron! (Pats his arm) Bap!
Biker: (Growls)
(You had followed dipper for him to question manly Dan)
Manly Dan: (Playing an arm wrestling game) AAAAAGHHHH!!
Dipper: Manly Dan, just the guy I wanted to see. Where were you last night?
Manly Dan: Punchin' the clock.
Dipper: You were at work.
Manly Dan: No, I was punchin' that clock! (Points to a broken clock outside)
Dipper: 10 o'clock, the time of the murder. So, I guess you've never seen this before? (He nodded at you to pull out the axe from his bag and show Manly Dan)
Manly Dan: Listen, little girl!
Dipper: Hey, actually I'm a--
Manly Dan: I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND!! (Rips the machine's arm off and beats the machine with it)
Tyler Cutebiker: Get 'im! Get 'im! (Giggles)
Dipper: Left handed... (dipper grabs the axe from you incase you go chaotic mode)
Mabel and Biker: (Looking at cootie catcher Mabel is counting off with) 3, 4, 5, 6.
Mabel: Gasps) Your wife is gonna be beautiful.
Biker:(Pumps arm) Yes!
Dipper: Mabel, big break in the case!
Dipper, you, and Mabel: (Leave)
Biker: But will she love me?!
(You give him a thumbs up in hope to bring back his spirts before dipper and Mabel grabbed you out the door)
Dipper: It's a left handed ax. (Shows her a list) These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we gotta do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer.
Mabel: Oh man, we are on fire today! Pa-zow, Pa-zow, Pa-zow!
Dipper : Let's find that murderer. (Fist bumps Mabel and you)
✨Montage: cut to Mabel waving at McGucket. He has a baby alligator on his right hand as he waves back to her. Dipper lists McGucket as right handed. Cut to Dipper wearing a fake mustache and carrying a package to Pizza Guy's house. Pizza Man signs Dipper's form and gets excited, only for Dipper to take the package and leave.
He is listed as right handed. Mabel whistling to the Angry Lady and you throwing her a baseball. She catches it with her right hand and crushes it. She is listed as right handed. The scene changes to the twins at Mikey R.'s house. He comes to the door with both hands in casts. His name is just crossed out. Scene goes to name after name being listed as right handed until the tip of the pencil breaks.✨
Dipper: (Gasps) Y/n, Mabel, there's only one person left on this list.
Mabel: (Gasps) Of course, it all adds up!
✨The cops and you guys go to Gravity Falls Gossiper.✨
Blubs You kids better be right about this or you'll never get the end of it.
Dipper The evidence is irrefutable.
Mabel It's so irrefutable.
Durland I'm gonna get to use my night stick!
Blubs: You ready? You ready, little fella?
Blubs and Durland: Woo, woo! (Both poke each other with their police batons)
Dipper: On 3! 1, 2, ...
Durland : Smashes the door open) Yaaaahhhh!
Blubs: Nobody move! This is a raid!
Toby: Aaaahh! (Falls down) What is this? Some kind of raid?
Durland: (Smashes a lamp) Derp! (You perked your hand up at the word "derp")
Dipper: Toby Determined, you're under arrest for murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan.
Mabel: You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work. (High fives Dipper and you)
Toby: Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!
Dipper: Then allow me to explain. (Flashback to the event; voiceover:) You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline. (In the flashback, Toby chops Wax Stan's head off)
Mabel: (Holding a newspaper with a picture of Wax Stan's head)
Dipper: (Flashback shows Toby's shoe with a hole in it and his turkey baster held in his left hand; voiceover) But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed.
Mabel: (Crumples up newspaper) Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news.
Toby: Boy, your little knees must be sore... from jumping to conclusions. (Dances) Hachacha! I had nothing to do with that murder.
Dipper: I knew it! (Overlapping with Mabel) Wait, what did you say? Nothing? You say nothing?
Mabel: Huh? What? Could you repeat?
Blubs: Then where were you the night of the break-in?
Toby: Ehh... (Inserts a tape into a TV. It starts playing, and we see him taking a cardboard cutout of Shandra Jimenez out of his closet) Finally, we can be alone, cardboard cutout of female news reporter Shandra Jimenez! (Kisses it)
Cops and Mabel and dipper(except you as Mabel and dipper covers your eyes): Eeeewwww! Yuck!
Blubs: Timestamp confirms it. Toby, you're off the hook. You freak of nature.
Toby: Hooray!
Dipper: But, but it has to be him! Check the ax for fingerprints!
Blubs: (Checks for finger print on the ax) No prints at all.
Dipper: No prints?
Durland: Hey I got a headline for you: city kids waste everyone's time.
Adults: (Laugh)
Dipper, you, and Mabel look at each other, embarrassed except you as you just scratch your head
Toby: (As the video of him kissing the cutout of Shandra Jimenez continues to play) Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you two.
🐦⬛Cut to Stan in the wax figure room. He is standing on a stage with a bunch of chairs set up. You, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and the wax figures are the audience.🐦⬛
Stan: Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank
you all for coming.
Soos: Blows nose, crying)
Stan: Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself.
Soos:(Jumps up and points) They're wrong!
Stan: Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven. (Wipes eye) I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye! (Cries and runs away)
Soos: (Running after Stan, while crying:) Ohhhhh duuuude...
Dipper: (Sighs) Those cops were right about me.
You pat his back to comfort him as your tongue goes back in your mouth
Mabel: Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now.
(You nod agreeing)
Dipper: (Stands up and walk to the coffin) But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues... (Looks inside coffin; sighs) Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it...
Mabel:
All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealies.
Dipper:
Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoes and no fingerprints? Mabel! The murderers are--
Wax Holmes: Standing right behind you?
All the wax figures had come to life infront of yours and the twins eyes.
Dipper: (Gasp) Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?
Wax Coolio: Wha s'up Holmes?
Wax Lizzie Borden: (Takes her axe from Mabel and you, even if you tried to grab it back)
But what she didn't know is you still had your axe when you first met the twins.
Mabel: Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!
Wax Holmes: Congratulations, my two amuetur slueths and weird looking fellow, (he said looking at your derpy expression as your tongue was just relaxing by the corner of your moth) you've unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you.
✨Commercial break by chibi Mabel hugging chibi y/n by rubbing her cheek against theirs.✨
Wax Holmes: Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret. (Takes wax Stan's head out of his cape) Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically.
Wax figures: (Applaud)
Wax Holmes: Uh, no that sounds too sincere. Slow clap.
Wax figures: (Slow clap)
Wax Holmes: There we go, nice and condescending.
Dipper: But... how is this possible? You're made of wax!
Mabel: Are you... magic?
Wax Holmes: (Laughs) Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic! (Stops laughing) We're CURSED!
Wax Figures: Cursed! Cursed!
Wax Holmes: Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale.
Wax Coolio : A haunted garage sale, son!
🐦⬛Flashback to the haunted garage sale.🐦⬛
Seller: I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price.
Stan: (Looks at price tag) Twenty dollars?! I'll just take 'em when you're not lookin'.
Seller: What?
Stan: I said I was gonna rob you.
✨Flashback showing the wax museum during the day.✨
Wax Holmes(Voiceover): And so, the Mystery
Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man.
Wax Coolio (Voiceover): But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule da night.
✨Flashback shows the statues messing around the Mystery Shack at night.✨
Wax Larry King:Flicks Coolio's braids)
Wax Coolio: Hey, I told you to stop that.
Wax Larry King : Make me!
Cut to Wax Holmes and Wax Edgar Allen Poe in Stan's room while he's sleeping. Laughing, they take a photo.
Stan:Wakes up) Huh?
Wax Holmes and Poe freeze when Stan wakes up.
Stan: Eh. (Returns to sleep)
Wax Holmes(Voiceover:) It was a charmed life for us cursed beings...
✨Flashback to Stan shaking the empty admission box and putting the wax figures in storage✨
Wax Holmes(Voiceover): That is, until your uncle closed up shop.
The storage room is seen wearing out as time goes by, leaving the door blocked by wallpaper. Soos later comes by sweeping the floor and finds the knob to the storage room. He puts the knob back in its place. Dissolve to the Mystery Shack.
Wax Holmes(Voiceover:) We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away...✨
✨Flashback to Wax Sherlock Holmes swipes Wax Stan's head off with an ax.✨
Wax Holmes(Voiceover:):But we got the wrong guy.
✨In the flashback, Stan grumbles and spits as he begins to enter and Wax Sherlock Holmes slips out; the flashback ends✨
Dipper: So you were trying to murder
Grunkle Stan for real?!
Mabel: You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!
You: YO WHAT THE F-
(Dipper covers your mouth half surprised at you opening your mouth in this situation at the moment)
Wax Holmes: Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must... die.
The wax figures growl and their eyes roll back in their heads. The approach the kids.
Mabel:What do we do, what do we do?
Dipper: I don't know!
You pulled out your axe out of no where as dipper looks at you with wide eyes and Mabel looks at you amazed
Dipper and Mabel throw stuff on a table behind them at the wax figures. Even though dipper knows you have a weapon he still pushes you behind him and Mabel for the twins to protect you.
I mean, you are the littlest one of the trio.
Wax Coolio : Ow ow ow ow! What's up with that?
Mabel: Dipper! Watch out!
Dipper cuts Wax Richard Nixon's leg; causes Nixon to be pushed into next room and sees Wax Sherlock Holmes approach him
Wax Holmes: Alright. Let's get this taken care of. (Puts Wax Stan's head on the horn of a rhino on the wall, and grabs a sword hanging on the wall. He then swings it at Dipper, smacking the candle out of his hand, and breaking it. He swings the sword above his head, and aims it at Dipper.)
(You swing your axe at the wax Holmes almost cutting his head off. )
Mabel: Catch! (Throws a poker to Dipper)
Wax Holmes brings the sword on Dipper, but is blocked with the poker. Wax Sherlock keeps attacking, while Dipper blocks and is pushed back. Dipper is pushed back into the Attic Floor, and is cornered by Wax Holmes against the wall.
Wax Holmes: Once your family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once again!
Dipper: (Looks at the window to see you grabbing your axe and fighting. Just when Sherlock brings the sword down, he rolls through his legs and out the window) Don't count on it!
Wax Holmes: Come back here, you brat!
Dipper climbs onto the Mystery Shack sign and Wax Holmes follows him. Dipper slowly walks across it, while Wax Holmes swings the sword at him. They clash between poker and sword while trying to maintain balance. Wax Holmes tries to hit Dipper with its sword, but Dipper jumps back, and the "S" in "Shack" falls off.
Wax Holmes: You really think you can outwit me boy? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous!
Dipper: (Drops the poker and begins to climbs off the sign, and behind it. He hides behind the chimney and looks out to see is Wax Sherlock is there)
Wax Holmes: (Kicks him down. Raises sword) Any last words?
Dipper Um... you got any sunscreen?
Wax Holmes: Got any--? What? (Turns and sees the sun starting to rise; Gasps) No. (Begins to melt)
Dipper: You know, letting me lead you outside? Probably not you sharpest decision.
Wax Holmes: (Continues to melt) Outsmarted by a child in short pants! No! (Starts melting faster) Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Tiiter, total kerfuffle. Butter hallabaloo. (Everything but his face melts)
Dipper: Case closed! (Wipes hands together; the dust makes him sneeze)
Wax Holmes: Ha ha ha! You sneeze like a kitten! Those policemen were right, you're adorable! Adorable! (Falls off the roof and then splashes)
Dipper: E-ew.
Scene changes to Mabel and you throwing the remaining parts of the wax figures into the fireplace. Wax Shakespeare's head is the only noticeable wax figure left.
Wax Shakespeare: Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise agayn!
Mabel: Y'know any limericks?
Wax Shakespeare: Uh... there once was a dude from Kentucky...
Mabel: Nope! (You his head into the fire)
Dipper enters the room looking at you and at his twin sister. You wave at him and he waves back seeing your axe is gone. He probably assumes you put it up somewhere safe.
Mabel: Dipper! You're okay! You solved the mystery after all.
Dipper: (Pulls up a chair and takes Wax Stan's head off the wall) I couldn't have done it without my sidekicks.
Mabel: No offense Dipper, but you're the sidekick.
Dipper: What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?
Stan: (Walks in) Hot Belgian waffles!! What happened to my parlor!?
Mabel: Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!
Dipper: I decapitated Larry King.
Stan: Ha ha! You kids and your imaginations!
Dipper: On the bright side, though, look what we found. (Hands Stan Wax Stan's head)
Stan: My head! Ha ha! I missed this guy! You done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing.
Dipper: Oh I'm not so sure about that. Is there any other alternative...?
Mabel: Oh uh... I'm not so sure...
Stan: Ha ha! (Noogies Dipper, Mabel, and then you last but gently)
Mabel and Dipper: (they laugh while holding your hands)
Blubs and Durland drive up to the window.
Blubs: Solved the case yet, boy? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee. (Takes a long, slow sip)
Dipper: Actually, the answer is yes.
Blubs: Blu blu blu-- (Spits coffee in Durland's face)
Durland: (Screams; spits coffee in Blubs' face)
Blubs: (Screams; spits coffee in Durland's face)
Durlan: Screams; spits coffee in Blubs' face)
Blubs: It burns! It burns!
Durland: (Overlapping:) My eyes!
They drive away, screaming.
Stan, Dipper, and Mabel (except you): (Laugh)
Stan: They got scalded!
A crash is heard.
Dipper: So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?
Mabel: I am ninety-nine percent sure that I did!
Dipper: Good enough for me!
Wax Larry King's head is in the vents.
Wax Larry King: (Laughs) --Huh?
Rat:(Walks up to him)
Wax Larry King: So you're a rat. Tell me about that.
The Rat rips off his ear and runs off
Wax Larry King : Hey, get back here! (Hops
after him) I'm hopping! I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!
Mabel: Hmm. Hey y/n, which do you think is better? Sequins or llama hair?
Wax Larry King: (Hops to the vent next to her) The llama hair. Llamas are nature's greatest warriors. (Hops off)
Mabel: Thanks y/n!
Dipper: (Stops reading and looks around confusely and then at you as you just shrug)
(A/n: have a good day or night!)