❃𝙺𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚊❃
I've always been a pretty festive person. I always liked to decorate the house, even as a kid. It was fun to go through the boxes of funny holiday decorations then reminisce about them as I put them up and around the house.
The house wasn't always full when the decorations were up, but I did almost always have my mom to celebrate with, and that was enough for me. Over these past few years, I've tried to pass on the love for decorating. And for the most part, Cameron likes it too. There are some things that he lets me handle, but even then he's always there to cheer me on while I stand on a chair to reach the highest spots.
It's almost always been just the two of us decorating, just like it used to be with me and my mom. This year's Thanksgiving is a little different though. Although we're closer to my mom, she's not here today to help us decorate. Who is here though is Noah, ready to help us reach the highest spaces in our new apartment. Only issue with that is it's sort of a tradition for us to struggle a little bit. It's kind of what adds to the whole magical atmosphere, I guess. Cameron agrees.
"Okay, higher or lower?" I ask as I move the canvas up some.
"High!" Cameron calls from his spot on the floor. I raise myself up on my tiptoes on the wobbly bar stool that was left by the last residents. Noah sucks in a sharp breath behind me, and I can almost feel his hands hovering at my hips just in case I stumble too much.
He doesn't like this part of our tradition. Who knew the guy was such a safety freak?
"There, there!" Cameron decides once I've moved the canvas around enough on the wall. I make a note of the spot as I grab my trusty thumbtack to stick it into the wall. I wobble a little more while I push it through the thick wall with all my might.
"Kiara," Noah hisses as the unstable stool wobbles below me. I should've used one of the kitchen table chairs, but they weren't as tall as the wooden bar stool.
I guess it would've been safer though. Next time.
I can't help my laugh as I finally hang the canvas on the wall. As soon as it's up there, a firm pair of arms wrap tightly around my hips. "Okay, it's there. Enough now." Noah breathes as he lifts me off the stool. I drop my hands on his arms that wrap around me to hang on tight in horror. The journey from the bar stool to the ground isn't long, but I'm still terrified the entire way. Luckily, he doesn't drop me.
"I made that with my hand." Cameron smugly informs as he stares up at the canvas with a painted-on turkey hand proudly. Noah's arms drop from my body once I'm down, and he immediately goes for the stool to get it away from me before I decide I need it to hang something else. He lets me go, but I still somehow feel the warmth of his arms wrapped around my hips. I look over my shoulder to watch him take the stool over to the corner of the room just to confirm he's no longer touching me.
I take a deep breath as I look over at Cameron. I make myself smile at him. "You did, and it's gorgeous." I nod. I walk over to the box of Thanksgiving decorations and begin rummaging through them all.
Cameron groans at that. "Mommy," He protests with a deep frown.
I frown back. "What?"
"Gorgeous isn't manly." Noah chimes in, tsking as he shakes his head at me.
"You ruined it." Cameron bitterly decides.
I press my hand to my chest with a frown, looking between them. "Gorgeous can be manly." I weakly argue. "It can!"
"Mommy's." Cameron grumbles under his breath.
My jaw drops at that. "Hey," I scold, lifting my hands to my hips.
Noah blows out a breath as he walks up to stand on the other side of the box. "That was harsh, Nut." He murmurs. Cameron crosses his arms stubbornly. I shake my head and look back into the box. "Come over here and help us look through this." Noah gently beckons. It's an order, but he makes it sound a lot like an invitation.
We still haven't discussed disciplining. He's found a gentle loophole, and I let him have it until I remember to sit down with him to talk more.
Luckily, Cameron mostly responds the best to gentleness. He freezes up and pulls back once he notices some sort of anger in an adult's voice—As a lot of other kids do. Noah has caught onto this, so more often than not, he's pretty quiet and smooth about his 'disciplining'. Not only does that help with getting Cameron to listen when we need him to, but it also helps him trust Noah a lot more.
As Cameron steps up to the box, he coughs. But not like a normal soft cough that would make me and Noah smile softly at each other as we discover the joys of parenthood. No—He coughs loudly, dramatically, and without doing that vampire move with the whole cover your mouth with your cape thing.
"Ew..." Noah murmurs with a scrunched nose. Cameron sniffles and makes a gross sound in response.
"That's gross, Cam. We cover our mouths when we cough." I grimace and shuffle away from him some. He frowns at both of us. I shake my head and reach into the box to find a new decoration. "Ooh, we could put up the leaves." I hold up a circled-up string of paper leaves.
"Those are ugly." They both inform me.
My nose scrunches at that. "First of all, creepy." I grumble. "Second, you leave my leaves alone. They're perfect." I huff as I lift them up out of the box. They stay silent, but I swear they make faces at each other when I turn my back. I don't have any proof, but I just have a feeling.
"Motorcycle Santa!"
I spin back around immediately and look in horror as the stupid thing is lifted out of the box like it's the holy grail. Noah looks curiously at it in his hand while Cameron looks over at me, beaming. I stare at the little doll of Santa Clause dressed in a black long sleeve and his red and white festive pants sitting on a red motorcycle. He even has his cool sunglasses. At first, I thought it was cute, so I picked it up and added it to our Christmas decorations.
I was so wrong.
"Why do we have Christmas stuff in the Thanksgiving box?" Noah mutters as he leans back a little and bends to check what's written on the side of the box, confirming that this is the Thanksgiving box. He shrugs it off and inspects the thing more.
I drop my leaves and rush back over. "Wait, don't press the—"
Noah smiles and presses the little button at the bottom of Santa's motorcycle. He smiles wider at the staticky sound of tires screeching across the road before Born to be Wild by Mars Bonfire begins to play while Santa bounces back and forth. The little headlights on his motorcycle flash and everything.
I shut my eyes and dip my chin to rub my temples while the stupid song goes on. Cameron bounces along with it, and Noah bobs his head from side to side with a grin. They let it go on and on until it finally ends with Santa's motorcycle revving.
"Oh," Noah happily inspects it more when it's done. "I think it'd look nice right here." He walks over to the coffee table and sets it down. I follow quickly behind him.
I snatch the stupid thing up as soon as Noah lets go of it. "It's Thanksgiving." I grumble as I take it down the hall to throw it on my dresser in my room to toss out later. Or at least stuff it into a box that will never be opened ever again.
"Well, shoot. Who peed in your Lucky Charms?" Noah scoffs once I come back with an amused smile. I roll my eyes at the way he censors himself. "I liked it." He decides, shrugging as he looks at Cameron. Cameron nods quickly in response.
Just for that, I pick up a little pumpkin glass from the box. Noah watches me curiously while I hold eye contact with him as I walk around over to the corner where he put the stool. He straightens and turns fully to watch me lift it over to one of the higher up shelves where I put a few pictures and one of Cam's toys that he can no longer have. Cameron's eyes get sadder when he notices what shelf I'm headed for, still mourning the loss of his water gun.
"There are easier ways of getting up there." Noah protests. I ignore him, already climbing up onto the shaky stool. He begins stepping closer to me while I climb the stool. "Kiara," He warns, reaching for me.
I'm quick to stand all the way up on the top of the stool even though I'm not ready. He pauses when I do. "How pretty are my leaves?" I hum with a raised brow.
"Fucking hideous."
Cameron gasps loudly. If he had a string of pearls around his neck, he'd be grasping at them.
I'm sure to lift myself up on my tiptoes as high as I can. And with my cat-like reflexes, I am able to balance on the wobbling stool. It freaks Noah the hell out. "Hey, come on. You're setting a terrible example to, uh," He points over at Cameron. "my child over there. Okay?" He tries. "So, lets," He waves his hand. "get down."
"Your child is picking his nose right now. So," I shrug. "Maybe you have bigger problems."
Noah spins around immediately. "Dude."
"Oh, shit." I whisper as I quickly reach for the wall to help myself balance. Before I end up falling, I reach over to set the glass pumpkin on the shelf like I wanted to. Noah quickly looks back up at me, seemingly torn between the two of us.
Ultimately, he reaches over to set his palm down on the stool beside my foot to try to steady it while he looks at Cameron who stands there with his jaw dropped, looking at me with a betrayed look on his face. "Dude, you're seven." He points out on a sigh. "Go get, like, a tissue or something."
"I wasn't picking my nose!" Cameron argues, outraged by the accusation. I try not to laugh, turning my face away as I pretend to brush some dust off the shelf.
"Well, your mom said you were, and I know for a fact she's gone over lying with you." Noah glances up at me as he speaks sharply. Even though his voice sounds so serious, I can't take him that way. Especially while he's leaning a little awkwardly on the stool to even it out while I hang out up here.
"She's lying!"
"That's a serious accusation, Cameron." Noah nods simply. "Are you sure—"
"Lie!" Cameron hisses bitterly at me. Noah can't seem to stop the chuckle that works its way out. He looks up at me to try to hide it from Cameron.
"It's terrible to lie, Kiara." Noah tries to keep his firm tone up around his growing laughter. "It's also terrible to put yourself in harm's way in front of your son." He adds as he reaches up for me. My pumpkin is already up there, so I let him wrap one arm around my hips to get me off the stool and onto the ground. I hang onto his shoulders while we go down. "I think you owe someone an apology." He hums expectantly.
I sigh and turn to Cameron. He crosses his arms over his chest with a pout, waiting for his apology. "I'm sorry about lying, Cameron. It was really wrong of me." I offer with a shameful nod as I try to hide my giggling. Noah manages to get control of his laughter, but there's still a ghost of a smile on his face.
"Wonderful." Noah nods in satisfaction. "Cameron, do you forgive her?"
"Forgive but never forget."
"Oh," Noah whispers. I cock my head back at the narrowed eyed look Cameron sends me. "That's...Where did you learn that one, buddy?" He asks curiously.
Cameron blinks and looks up at Noah, a happy smile crossing his face as he does. "School." He happily
"Of course...Okay." Noah breathes, nodding as he looks to me like I'll handle it. He's the one who asked though. Plus, he's the one who wants to be more of a dad. He can have this one. He shakes his head at me, having no clue. I shrug him off. For now, it's not a problem. Just something weird he does.
Cam has plenty of those, and I'm excited for the day he decides to show them all to Noah. He won't have the slightest clue for what to do about it.
__________
If I'm being totally honest with myself, planning ahead was never ever my strong suit. I take the obvious measures while I go about my life, but it's rare that I already have a plan set up for me to fall back on right there and then.
It definitely ends up being a pet peeve to anyone else around me, but every time I remind myself to make a plan, it never actually works in practice when I need it. That sets me back to square one with no plan on what to do next.
I think Noah's learning about this annoying thing the more we get to know each other.
He laughs as he carries the mostly empty box over to the open closet I stand by. "So, you decorated without having any actual plans?" He asks.
I frown. "It's nice to be festive."
He shakes his head with a smile as he shuts the closet door once he's finished. "You don't have any ideas?" He pushes.
"No." I awkwardly admit as I follow him back down the dark hall. I haven't even asked if my mom's doing anything and Thanksgiving is already a couple of weeks away. We started decorating late because I forgot to plan when I was going to visit the storage unit through the week.
We try to keep our voices down low even after we walk past Cameron's bedroom where he should be sleeping. "That kind of works out." Noah mutters while he leads the way to the living room.
For now, we both drop down on opposite sides of the couch. I watch him curiously. "What does?" I coax.
He takes a breath, letting himself relax into the cushions. "So...It's kind of dumb that the first holiday that's going by while I know you guys is Thanksgiving, but it is." He begins awkwardly. "And it'd be nice to be with you guys."
I nod at that, having already assumed he might ask for Cameron. "Yeah." I accept. "Well, Cameron's super comfortable with you now. He knows who you are, and he knows to listen and stay with you. You can totally take him with you to...I don't know. Whenever you're planning on spending Thanksgiving." I wave him off.
Noah hesitates to answer, watching me for a second longer while he seems to process my answer. "Thank you, but I kind of meant both of you." He awkwardly corrects once he realizes I'm talking about letting him take Cameron and Cameron only.
I blink at that. "Both of us?" I point to my chest like there's someone else he could be talking to.
He laughs. "Yeah." He shrugs like it's absolutely nothing. "I'd like to say we're at least friends by now, right? Not just co-parents."
I find myself smiling a little more than I probably should at something so simple. "Yeah." I quietly confirm. "We're friends too."
"Right." He smiles wider too. "And even if we weren't, you're still his mom." He gestures down the hall. "I'd still want you in on our plans."
I watch him curiously. "And what are your plans?"
Noah shrugs at that. "Whatever you're comfortable with." He hums. I raise a brow, so he continues. "Every year, my family goes out to my grandparents house for big dinners on Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas." He counts them on the tips of his fingers. "So, that's one plan we can go with." He offers. "The other is we back out of the big dinner and see if Aaliyah and Alex wanna do the same and we can have dinner with them." He adds. "The third is in case Aaliyah and Alex don't want to back out of the dinner—which I doubt because they both hate being around so many people for too long," He pauses to roll his eyes. I laugh to myself. "So, we just, like, have dinner with just the three of us. Plus your mom if she wants to join us."
"My mom doesn't do holidays." I dismiss that last part pretty quick.
He doesn't look convinced. "None?"
I shake my head. "No." I simply confirm. There's not really a reason for it—She just doesn't and never really has. But she's always let me do whatever I want with them, so I guess she might be willing to join us.
"Okay, well," Noah moves on with ease after accepting that. "Those are just the options I came up with, but they obviously aren't the only ones."
"They kind of are." I counter on a laugh. "I don't have any other plans."
He smiles. "There's still time." He insists. "I don't really need an answer right now anyway." He adds as his gaze drifts away. I still keep mine on him.
"Your parents still don't know, do they?"
Noah lets out a deep breath that turns into a groan as he tosses his head back. I laugh, lifting the back of my hand to my mouth while I do. He ultimately smiles and turns his head lazily, chin still tilted back against the back of the couch. "They have no idea." He confirms on a soft hum. "And I don't know how I'm going to do it."
"Well, don't feel pressured to just because of Thanksgiving." I smile softer and drop my hand from my mouth. "It's not our one and only year."
His smile slowly starts to grow at that. "Yeah." He quietly confirms. "I don't know," He shakes his head softly, eyes drifting away again. He smiles softly to himself while he stares at the ground, thinking. "I won't bring you guys around them before I've had a chance to say something." He decides thoughtfully. "My mom would be all over you guys..." He grimaces and shakes his head.
"They'll want to be all over him regardless." I counter. He doesn't argue which confirms my assumption.
"I don't want to overwhelm either of you." He mutters, almost talking to himself while he thinks. He's still talking about both of us, but doesn't seem to understand that they'll probably be a lot less on top of me. I mean, I'm not as special as a new grandkid.
I start to frown a little the more I think about that. "Are you sure you want me to come with?" I quietly ask.
He's quick to lift his gaze back to me. "What?"
I awkwardly shift in my seat and begin pulling my feet up onto the couch with my knees up to my chest. "I'm kind of the lady that made you miss seven years of your son's life." I point out. "Won't they...I mean—They'd probably be upset that they're just barely meeting him while he's seven, and that's my fault."
Noah doesn't answer me for a long time, just staring at me. I sink under his gaze. I can't tell if he's angry, annoyed, or what. He gives nothing away with the way he watches me—eyes flying all across my face while he stays silent.
I almost open my mouth to take it back, but he beats me to it. "They wouldn't hate you." He mumbles, so quiet I almost don't hear him. "Either of you." He shakes his head and glances down the hall for a second. "They knew how I was back then, and most of them would probably tell you I would've been a shitty dad. Even if some of them do end up being pissed off—Fuck them. It's not their place, for one. And I'm not going to let them try to argue over something that can't even be changed anymore." He scoffs, shaking his head as he starts to get worked up over something that hasn't even happened yet.
Just the idea of his family being upset over this seems to be enough for him to grow frustrated. I can't imagine what it'd be like if it actually turned out to be true and some of them were open with their dislike or hatred. Maybe not great with what he's showing me now.
"You're not going to stay home by yourself on Thanksgiving because you think they won't welcome you. You're the mother of my child, and you're welcome wherever he is—Wherever we are."
I stare silently at him until he's done. And even when he is, I can't find the right response for an extra moment. He's still shaking his head, pissed off by the idea of maybe a handful of his family members being a bit peeved at me for keeping the new addition to their family away from so long.
I don't actually understand why he'd be so angry about it though. I mean, I can get behind a little frustrated after I've heard what he really thinks about our situation. But being so pissed like this doesn't add up for me. I guess it's just gotta make sense to him though.
"Thank you."
His brows furrow at that and he cocks his head back, having been waiting for me to say something but still caught off guard. "For what?"
I shrug. "For your understanding." He doesn't have to be so nice to me. We have no obligation to each other. Him especially so. He could've taken this a different way with ease and there would've been little to nothing I could do to stop him.
"Of course." Noah eventually whispers, still watching me like he doesn't understand why I'd thank him for that. It adds to the long list of things we don't understand and probably will never understand about each other.
It happens. And maybe it's not such a bad thing that sometimes, we're not totally on the same page. Especially in cases like right now where it's not really a problem that we don't get what the other is saying but still accept it anyway.
Noah takes a deep breath as he shifts in his seat, beginning to stand. "I should probably go." He mutters, almost like it's a reminder or suggestion to himself. I open my mouth to accept that, but he quickly continues. "I mean—Cam's asleep. So, like...I'm—There's not reason for me to..." He trials off and makes a gesture with his hands.
I have no idea what he's saying, but I nod anyway because I feel like if I ask, I'll get more nonsense like that. "Yeah, I get it." I nod and stand up too so I can lock the door behind him.
He hesitates for an extra moment before he turns around and simply begins finding his own way over to the door. He unlocks it himself and steps out, but pauses before he closes the door behind him. He lets go of the knob and turns to look at me, standing out in the hall now. "Just, uh...think about it." He mutters. "Thanksgiving." He slowly begins tucking his hands into his pockets. "And just because it's our first doesn't mean we need to spend it together—You're right. There are plenty more years ahead of us."
I give him a gentle smile as I absently reach over to rest my hand on the door. "Talk to your parents, I'll talk to Cameron. We'll see how it goes from there." I suggest. He pauses for a moment before he smiles softly back at me and nods. Just as he's turning away to leave, I hear little footsteps shuffling behind me.
"Mommy?"
Noah stops at Cameron's voice. I leave the door open and look over my shoulder at him. "You're supposed to be asleep." I murmur with a laugh. I'm not surprised he's not though. I figured he wasn't even though he went to bed nearly an hour ago.
He guiltily sinks under my gaze, hugging Taffy close to his chest. But ultimately looks over at Noah. "What?" Noah chuckles. He shrugs. "Sorry, Nut. Can't help you here."
Cameron frowns, but accepts that and starts stepping closer to the door. I lean up against it, tilting my head curiously to see what he's going to do next. You can never really tell with him—Especially after his bedtime. He's tired.
"I wanted to say goodnight."
I smile at that. "You already said goodnight." I remind. He doesn't answer that and simply steps forward to wrap his arms around me. He drops his temple on my stomach in his hug, Taffy hanging loosely in his hand behind me. I lean down some to hug him back, kissing the top of his head as I pull away.
Next, he turns and walks through the door and into the hall with Noah in his little batman onesie. Noah's smile widens as he drops to his haunches to give him and Taffy a second goodnight hug. When they pull away, Cameron turns to look up at me ever so innocently.
"Can Daddy spend the night?"
Like I said, he's unpredictable. Not only does he ask a slightly awkward question, but he also pulls out the name I haven't heard him use before. Noah smiles wider, but he looks like it's not the first time he's heard it. Which means Cameron's testing the waters now, probably wondering if he really can call Noah his dad.
I sigh deeply, dropping my temple on the door tiredly as I look down at Noah who's still on the ground with Cameron. Noah laughs when he realizes that's my way of telling him it's his turn to answer. He smiles as he looks to Cameron. "I can't tonight, Nut." He lets him down gently, but Cameron's lips tug in a deep frown still. "We'll talk about it though, and we'll figure out when we can do that." Noah offers with a little nod. "Okay?"
Cameron's still disappointed, but he nods. "Okay." He accepts quietly. Noah smiles. "Goodnight. I love you." He offers him the same thing he usually says to me.
Noah looks a little like he's in pain. Cuteness overload. Poor guy. "Goodnight, Nut. I love you too." He smiles as he reaches out to nudge him over to me.
Cameron inches back over to the door, watching me expectantly.
I sigh deeply and glance at Noah, aware of what Cameron wants. Noah smiles as he stands up straight, blissfully unaware. "Noah," I call on a whisper. He hums and looks to me. I gesture to Cameron who also gives him an expectant look.
"What?" He looks between us, still smiling. He's just happy he's being accepted, and I can't blame him.
"You're 'posed to say it." Cameron huffs, growing impatient.
I blink slowly at Noah. "Goodnight, Noah." I offer.
Cameron sighs heavily.
Even though Noah seems to understand, his face doesn't shift in horror. Instead, he smiles and folds his hands in front of him while he waits. I stare at him, waiting for him to get us out of this with a casual but firm Get back to bed, Mr. sent Cameron's way. It never comes though.
We just established we're not just co-parents but friends too, and I'm already turning to Noah and muttering a quick "Love you." like our son wants me to. Next, Cameron looks up at Noah. Noah grins back at him.
"Nah, I'm not doing that." Noah shakes his head simply at him.
Cameron and I both blink.
My jaw drops, completely betrayed. Noah smiles smugly at me. He nods and gestures to me. "Remember at the movie when you guys told me we were dressing in hot pink and that I couldn't go if I wasn't in pink?" He reminds on a smug hum.
Cameron groans at him. "Noah!"
Noah's brows raise. "What, so it's Daddy when you want something?" He laughs. Cameron just huffs bitterly. "Goodnight, guys." He murmurs as he turns away. I roll my eyes and reach down for Cameron's hand to guide him out of the way before I shut the door.
"Don't worry." I hum as I start leading him back to his room after locking the door. "We'll get him back."
"Forgive but never forget."
"Forgive but never forget."