CHAPTER TWENTY
❝It is a beautiful and delightful sight to behold the body of the moon.❞
Galileo Galilei
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After way too much time arguing about whether Lancelot will lead them to Egypt, it's finally decided--by Lancelot--that he's coming with them. Luna rolls her eyes. He's good-looking, yes, but also seems extremely pompous and a little obsessed with adrenaline.
Lancelot strides ahead, toward the shattered wooden doors, and Luna and Ahkmenrah follow, behind Larry and Nicky.
"Larry!" Attila gasps behind them, muttering something in Hunnish.
"Jed and Octavius?" Larry frowns, turning to face him.
Attila's touching his hat, eyes wide, and Luna understands. "They're gone?"
"They must've fallen out while we were running," Teddy says, looking concerned.
"Jed? Octavius?" Larry looks down at the ground, scanning the area around him. "Jed? Octavius?"
Everyone else, including Luna and Ahkmenrah, join in the search, going back the way they came, out through the shattered doors and into the hall. Jed and Octavius are so far nowhere to be found. Ahkmenrah peeks behind a pillar, Nicky behind an exhibit pushed against a wall, but Larry and Luna see something at the same time.
"Oh, no," they whisper in unison, and Luna drops Ahkmenrah's hand, running to the grate in the floor, dropping to her knees, and picking up the tiny red cape that belongs to Octavius. She looks down into the grate, hoping to see them, clinging to the sides of the vent, but it's completely dark.
"Is that Octavius's cape?" asks Nicky worriedly.
"Nicky, help me." Luna gestures to the grate. Nicky drops to his knees beside her and they yank the grate out of the floor, peering down into the dark air vent.
"Guys?" Larry yells, head poking over Luna's left shoulder.
Very faintly, amid the quiet rush of warm air, there's a tiny shout. It sounds like Jedediah, maybe.
"Jed?" Larry shouts, but there's no answer.
"They won't last long in those heating vents, Lawrence," Teddy says grimly.
"At their size, they'll bake like tiny little scarabs in the Sinai," says Ahkmenrah quietly.
Luna frowns up at him. "Ahk!"
Ahkmenrah grimaces. "Too dark?" (It's widely known and acknowledged, reader, that Ahkmenrah is the king of dark humor.)
Larry stands up, looking around. It looks like he's searching for something. "Larry, what are you--?" Luna starts to ask, but he's already found it: a panel on the wall with a glass door.
Larry slams his elbow through the glass and Luna winces. He touches the screen inside, clicking different buttons until he finds the right one, the one that turns the fans off in the wing they're in.
Immediately, the quiet sounds of air die down, and it's completely silent in the vent. Attila bends down and shouts, "JEDO! OCTO!" as loud as he can into the vent, but there's no response. He looks up at Larry and Luna, shaking his head and shrugging.
"They could be anywhere between here and the intake vent," says Larry, kneeling down again.
Dexter, who's climbed off of Sacagawea's shoulder, scrambles over and drops into the vent, chirping loudly.
"What do you see, Dex?" Larry mutters, eyebrows knit together, the way they always do when he's planning something.
"You know he's a monkey, Lawrence," says Teddy, almost the way you might talk to a four-year-old. "He can't talk."
Larry looks up at Teddy, a look at realization on his face. "No, but he can fit." He looks over at Nicky and Luna, then sticks out his hand. "Nicky, give me your phone."
Nicky fishes in his vest pocket, pulling out his cell phone, and passes it to Larry. "Why?"
"For Dex."
"I don't understand one thing that's going on here," says Lancelot, speaking for the first time since they left his exhibit.
"Yeah, no, I don't, either." Nicky follows Larry away from the group. "Dad, what's going on?"
"I'm, uh, sort of set up to track your phone," Larry says, apparently searching for some sort of rope or belt to tie Nicky's phone to Dexter.
Ahkmenrah leans over and whispers to Luna, "What is 'tracking a phone'?"
"Well, cell phones, like mine--" Luna pats the phone in her jeans pocket-- "have a signal, and it bounces off towers that conduct electricity. That's how I can make calls and text on it. But there's a way to track them using that signal to see where someone is--or where their phone is, I guess."
"Ah." Ahkmenrah nods understandingly, although Luna's not really sure how much he understands. Sure, they've had movie nights and watched The Office together, and he's seen her texting Nicky or calling her parents, but it's probably very hard, being transported from the 1700s BCE to 1950, and then from 1950 to the 2010s. Luna can't even imagine the feeling of losing time.
"Dex, come here." Larry returns with a symbolic-looking cord--if Luna had to guess, she'd say Native American of some kind--and straps the phone to Dexter's back, tightening the cord around his stomach. "Thanks, man. All right, listen. I need you to go down there and find them, all right? Think you can handle it?"
Dexter, in a show of patriotism, salutes Larry, and Larry salutes back. "Good man. Stay safe."
Dexter turns and leaps into the vent, and the rest of them wait a moment before turning and following the little blue dot on Larry's phone. Larry and Lancelot lead the way, then Luna and Ahkmenrah, Teddy and Sacagawea, and Attila and Nicky, who's still offended by the fact that Larry monitors his phone, bringing up the rear.
"How long has it been since you've seen your parents?" Luna whispers, taking Ahkmenrah's hand again and leaning closer so that he can hear her. "Since you were here?"
Ahkmenrah smiles wistfully, shaking his head. "No, I was never here. Remember, I was at Cambridge with the tablet. My parents were always here. We've been separated since my death. I could hear them, in their sarcophaguses, just feet from me, for thousands of years, but... I haven't seen them in over four thousand years." There are tears in his eyes and he takes a shaky breath. "I don't remember the last thing I said to--"
"Ahk." Luna squeezes his hand gently, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying herself. "You're going to get to see them tonight. That's all that matters."
They turn into a beautiful, white marbled room, which is full of statues, animals--the most beautiful ceramic painted elephants Luna's ever seen are trumpeting happily, glad to be awake for the first time. Metallic peacocks with glittering plumage strut happily, stone centaurs gallop past, and pterodactyls soar above them.
Lancelot stops as Larry walks ahead, staring at his phone, and leans back toward Teddy conspiratorially. "The fool seems agitated."
"That's often his way," Teddy replies kindly. "But I assure you, he's no fool."
"Is it true what he says?" Lancelot turns now to Ahkmenrah and Luna, eyebrows raised. "The tablet you carry on your back is magic?"
"It is indeed." Ahkmenrah nods. "Everything around you has come to life tonight for the very first time, all because of this tablet."
And then he yanks Luna to the ground so she doesn't get decapitated by a flock of very metal birds, screeching and soaring right over their heads. Lancelot shouts in alarm, ducking and covering his head. Then he stands up slowly, expression one of wonder. "Amazing. Then they're not real?"
"They're as real as any of us," Teddy says, smiling.
"Well, yes, but--" Lancelot shrugs-- "we're real people. They're just things. And they don't even know. They must be unbelievably stupid."
Luna looks back at Nicky, who gives her a who's-gonna-tell-him look and shrugs.
"It can be...confusing at first," says Teddy gently.
Lancelot looks past them, at a large metal toad with silver eyes hopping past, and crouches down, waving at it. "Hello, frog! Keep hopping! You're real!"
"Guys?" Larry looks over at them, holding up his phone. "I think we're gonna have to cut through Asia."
Lancelot charges ahead without a word, hand on his sword, and Teddy leans toward Ahkmenrah and Luna. "Not a clue."
Ahkmenrah bites back a grin as he replies, "None."
"Is that how it was with all of you? The first time?" Luna looks over at Teddy. She's never really thought about what it would be like the first time; Teddy and Sac and everyone seem so relaxed about the whole coming-to-life-at-night thing.
"It was terrifying." Teddy nods. "All of a sudden being conscious and able to think... After years as a wax figure, being able to see with eyes and speak. But to be so confused around mammoths and Neanderthals who were just as confused as you were... It was very strange."
They follow Larry, Ahkmenrah holding Luna very close to him. "I don't like this very much," he whispers, as they pass ancient Chinese tapestries hanging in glass cases.
"Ahk, it's gonna be fine," Luna replies, squeezing his hand. "Whatever happens, we'll handle it."
They make it all the way through China and then there's a strange metal skittering sound, and a little metal man with wings and a beak leaps in front of Larry, chittering loudly.
"Oh, hey, guy," says Larry, frowning down at the tiny statue. "We're just--We're just passing through."
The statue chitters even louder, waving his little arms back and forth.
"It's a Garuda from Tibet," Teddy says, amazed.
"In Tibetan Buddhism, Garudas are divine beings and considered to be extremely intelligent," Luna says, nodding. "They're one of the Four Dignities and represent wisdom."
"Hi, Garuda." Larry leans down toward the Garuda. "How are you doing?"
The Garuda waves its arms, babbling a little quieter now.
"Cool. Great. Okay." Larry attempts to walk past it into the temple exhibit. "Can we just--?"
But the Garuda blocks their path again, scrambling back and forth, arms outstretched.
"All right, you know what, buddy?" Larry shakes his head, sighing. "We just gotta get through. I don't have time. Please."
And Larry and the Garuda dance back and forth on the steps. Luna drops her head onto Ahkmenrah's shoulder with a sigh. This is ridiculous.
"I'm not gonna play this game with you." Larry points to the temple ahead of them. "I gotta go through, really."
The Garuda waggles its finger at them pointedly, and Luna frowns. "Um...Larry, he's trying to warn us about something."
"Yeah, I got that..." Larry nods, walking slowly up the steps to the temple. There's an odd metallic sliding sound, and Ahkmenrah tightens his grip on Luna's hand as they follow Larry up the steps.
And then Luna sees it: A massive metal snake-like thing, coiled in the center of the temple. And just like everything else, it's alive tonight.
"Get back!" Larry waves his arm frantically, leaping to the side of the door, Lancelot to the other.
Ahkmenrah pulls Luna behind him to the left side of the doorway, leaning around Larry to peer in at the thing inside the temple.
"A dragon," Lancelot whispers, grinning widely.
"No, it's not a dragon," Larry replies, shaking his head. "It's a--" He leans around to look at the sign, but Luna gets there first.
"It's a Xiangliu," she breathes. "Nine-headed snake monster from Chinese mythology. Bringer of chaos and destruction."
"Oh, that's lovely," Ahkmenrah whispers sarcastically from behind her, and he wraps one arm tightly around her waist, pulling her against his chest. In any other situation, this would be extremely adorable.
"Well, it looks like a dragon," says Lancelot unwaveringly. "I say we kill it."
"What? No!" Larry frowns at him. "It's asleep."
Lancelot sighs. "You're right. It's not very sporting to kill it while it's asleep. Let's wake it up and then kill it." He gestures to Nicky, who's the only one behind him. "I shall go first and I shall take the boy."
"No!" Luna and Larry shake their heads in unison.
"You're not gonna take the boy," Larry replies, still shaking his head, and Luna couldn't agree more. She overheard snippets of Lancelot and Nicky's conversation from earlier, and Lancelot's exactly the type of guy Nicky should not be taking advice from.
"Why not?" Lancelot challenges.
"Because he's a boy!" Larry fires back.
"Larry, there comes a time in every man's life when he must slay his own dragon." Lancelot means to sound impressive, but he just sounds like he's reading a Hallmark card for dudebros.
"Not this kid, alright?" Larry shakes his head. "He still hasn't finished his thank-you notes from his bar mitzvah--and anyway, that's--it's an expression."
"Not where I come from," Lancelot replies intensely.
"Okay, both of you, stop!" Luna whisper-shouts, holding her hands up. "How about this? No one is going to wake the snake up or kill it, and that includes Nicky. We'll all go around it, so that eventually, we might find Jed and Octavius and make it to Egypt. Are you both done with whatever masculinity trip you're on?" She looks between Larry and Lancelot, and neither speak. "Okay, good. Let's go."
Larry sighs, nods, and tiptoes into the temple, Luna and Ahkmenrah directly behind him. Lancelot and Nicky creep the other way around, and everyone's eyes stay on the snoozing snake in the center of the temple.
They're halfway there when Luna feels a shudder in the glow and the tablet's warmth against her back. Oh, no. She looks up at Larry. "Larry, the tablet--"
But it's too late. Ahkmenrah gasps and his legs buckle. Luna grabs him and pulls him against the wall, arms around his waist, but this time, it's not just Ahk that the tablet's corrosion affects.
Teddy starts shouting, eyes blank, quoting John F. Kennedy and babbling like a child; Sacagawea's staring blankly, frozen in place; and as the serpent in the center of the temple stirs and turns its glittering eyes on Attila, he screams and runs in circles.
The Xiangliu is awake. And as desperately as Luna tries to do something, to stop it, to force the glow inside her to work--
She can't.
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q: lancelot good or bad?
a: very hot. very stupid.