Since it's the first time for me to get into such a metal like type of relationship. I've now discovered some sort of protective-ty. A word away from my vocabulary. Behind why i feel this way is because of something... and someone it shouldn't be about.
I was just unable to get over it, even after i got pampered because i kept thinking of the amount of negativity it could've brought towards us. Even if I want to see what the reason for this kind of game they play. A year ago, the atmosphere between those 2 was so jumbled. As if they would've been the best of friends if the other hadn't caught feelings..
At all the previous glances, I've gotten of Josh nowadays.. are making me feel so unsure if there's something up. Once i try approaching him, instead of pulling me into embraced arms, he does the opposite with his hands and body. Sometimes, he shivers a bit because he's surprised.. that I'm there. There is something definitely up, I can't doubt it anymore. At first, i didn't want to jump into conclusions immediately like always, so I backed out on my observation on Josh's body movements, thinking they really don't mean anything on our relationship.. but now I wanna sum it all up.
1 7 20XX
4:20 PM
It's a pretty chilly afternoon, and im currently eyeing Josh intensely. What i see right now is his back turned, sitting on the couch. His head tilted down, and definitely staring at something. This is the time when i think I'm sorta adapting to Josh's behavior. He'd probably pick me up if i have the same mindset as him right now..
His eyes are glued to something that's wrapped around his fingers and palm. This means I've been right this whole time. There is something that he's hiding from me. If he hasn't told me up to now, is.. it not for me?.. but for somebody else?..
The thought of it made my heart ache. So, i promised myself I would die on the inside if i didn't approach him and point out how obvious it is when he hides something from me. And so i did. In he nick of time, I was in front of him, I broke my gaze to him when he hadn't even realized I'm at his feet. Once his body finally realized i was right there. eyes were able to get a possible look at the item that's attracted him more than his favorite mug. He sighed, realizing that I've definitely caught him on the act of ignoring me.
"..what are you hiding from me..?"
". . ."
"We said we wouldn't hide things from each other.. Is it.. something I'm not allowed to see?"
"..no. That's not it.."
To try and change my face posture. He slid his hands on my waist and told me to rest on his lap. That didn't do anything because.. it's just evidence that he is hiding something from me. Whatever it is.. did a good job at getting Josh's full attention.
"Don't misunderstand. I was going to tell you about it later.."
"Can't.. you tell me now..?"
That moment broke when a notification noise made me flinch. Once, i glanced at the screen. I saw that somebody texted him. It was somehow clear enough for me to see the name of the person. At first, i thought maybe my eyes were playing me, but at a second glance, the phone was gone to how fast Josh had to answer his phone in his left hand
"Who is it..?"
"Just.. Alyssa."
... Even when i should've normalized that name. I still quivered when i heard her name in his mouth. It quickly reminded me of another thought that's been coming to mind so many times. The last time I saw them interact was when I caught them having a conversation in public.. and now they have eachothers contacts..
Chapt. 22: Contact
"That's great. . Uhm. . . I recently got In touch with Josh"
.
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Well.. i guess i was told a while ago.. but. This exact thought again.. that is it possible Alyssa and Josh are seeing each other...?
Obviously, that's such a stupid accusation to think of. I know Josh only has eyes on me. It's quite funny how many times he's shown it with his actions towards me than when he says it. Even when.. even when I saw them knowing that they weren't together. I saw them as a couple. Anybody else would, too.. if I shed tears now just because of this matter. It would be annoying.. If.. I ask him.
"Are you seeing Alyssa..?"
"..what?"
His answer was slow, but he seemed like he really meant it. His hands had shifted to my waiste once again, while his phone was tossed and just hit the couch. Now. I'm not sure if I should tell him and just get it out of my heart.
"Why would you think that..?"
"..even when I saw you 2.. you guys looked like a couple in my eyes."
". . How? Is it all because of that time? Why didn't you -"
"You also.. didn't give me a brief explanation of what you were talking about with her.. that it made you.. smile like that.."
The tear shed, but didn't fall down. I glanced back at Josh, who had rested his beady eyes at me. Maybe I really am just instigating too much about this.. I shouldn't really be getting so worked up over him talking to her
"Jelly. I'll tell you this once. The only reason I would ever smile like that is to somebody else. Is only if they bring up you."
"..what do you mean?"
"Otherwise. I'd never be able to move my face muscle."
"Then.. what does that have to do with the discussion you had with her..?"
"She made me think of you, Jelly."
"..me? Why..?"
He smiled like that again when he noticed my obviously confused face and the tear that soaked up a few seconds ago.
"The fact that you had the thought of me seeing somebody else because I smiled at them means I really do have to smile more at you.."
"Y-you.. do the same with me.. whenever.. I smile -"
"Your voice is so hoarse. Are you upset about it?"
"..kinda."
My back nape was snatched with my face being dug into Josh's shoulder. I scratch my way into his shirt and feel his palm hitting my back. We stayed in that position and during that, Josh swayed his fingers around my back; i excepted the tingly feeling
"..That day. I ran into her, excited to get home and see you. My eyes then had the urge to notice there was an unfamiliar building that filt up this spot. A new jewelry shop that opened that day in the street."
"I saw that Alyssa was outside of it. I didn't expect anything from her other than how we've met up so suddenly. I had no time to talk about anything with her and wanted to leave, but I didn't want to be rude to her."
"It all took me back to was when she said she was attracted to me a while back, so I really didn't feel like talking to her because of some conflict she made that went in between us."
"Some of her small talk was eventually about it, but then, in other words, the discussion changed. She then started rambling about how she opened this new jewelry shop. I still wasn't interested until she started getting into how we are doing. Of course, I said that we were doing well."
"Turns out she only brought it up because she started selling new couple jewelries for matching with somebody. It gave me an idea, or she gave me an idea of checking it out. And so I did enter to randomly start shopping for what would make you happy. Some benefit of some sort and a gift that would remind the both of us of each other when we are apart."
"While thinking of you, when I was shopping. Something immediately caught my eye. Double circular titanium piece with a small peck of diamond or some pretty rock. "RUBY & EMERALD" was their labels. The color of Emerald hadn't done any effect but made me think of you immediately. With its bright-ish naturist color that reminded me of your playful behavior. The color of Ruby made it look like I was looking at my own reflection. So obviously. I saw you and I. Our souls being trapped together in these two rocks. If death makes its way."
"Regret didn't suprisenly flow in when i had this bought in a bag. i was a few steps away from Alyssa shop. Not sure if I should be glad of this treasure."
.
.
"Sorry, I've being shoving it in this way. Are you alright now..?"
My head got stuck in what I'd just heard, like some love story. Without curiosity. My hand got stolen by Josh's fingers, both fiddled and different. All I see is the kitchen still over Josh's shoulder.
Cold metal hit my ring finger. I haven't gotten anything around that finger but now i am. It doesn't feel any different. Once his hand finally shifted to grasp mine. My head lifted to see wha the results were. Both our ring finger being surrounded by rings that look identical, but are from different families of diamonds.
I couldn't stop glancing at how instantly it convinced me that it matched both of our perfered colors. The glow of the rocks hurt my eyes.. that was my exuse to tear up. I'm unable to hide it with my palms either.
"How.. insane can you be to hide such a thing...?"
"I'm glad i got it off my chest, Jelly. I couldn't find the correct time to give it to you.. I was thinking of taking you out and all.. but this doesn't seem so-"
Interrupted. I shoved my lips into his with our hands still clasped. I acted like this is the first time I've kissed him.. he continued it by pulling me closer and erecting our kiss even more.. shivering.. I pushed back thinking i shouldn't have.
"You.. talk too much.."
He pulled back this time and gave me difficulty in breathing. I.. didn't want to end it though...
.
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I wanted more... metal like relationship..
__
Next deadline: Dec 4th
Wowowowow (its not marriage. Hate to break it to ya)
Appreciating the 6.48k rn :D