𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐁𝐎𝐘-𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 - A Jelloman Fanfic

Why Would You...?

This felt weird he's still holding my hand, staring at me with those same deadly eyes that could kill from a mile away... him being close to me, I could almost feel his breath and his hands gripping my hand, almost squeezing the bones and joints inside it... I felt a sudden flash of deja vu...

*reffering to chapt. 2 (Getting Into A Situation)

but I couldn't wrap myself around what was causing that. I watched as the bright and orange sky switched to its dark mode, and everything around us was close to getting pitch black. The light from the peir and the light posts were on at least.. I thought this would've ended well, but I guess I stumbled into the bad ending just because.. I don't understand you.. at all. I just want to know honestly, so i guess.. this is fine. He dropped my hand and grit his jaw.. I stood back centimeters from him

"Be honest.. do you want to know?"

". . . Yes. I do, "

I grasped my hands, trying to hide them behind me, but their probably still noticeable. I was waiting for an answer.. waiting desperately

"You noticed.. my eye lids as well. "

I backed up a bit and nodded slowly, suddenly feeling a spark of braveness inside me as I stared at him, not directly, but still. It gave me the chills, and he turned his body to look at the dark sky. I didn't, I waited still...

"You haven't forgotten, have you.."

... these hints he's giving out aren't useless.. but aren't helpful either.

"N..no"

"Jelly.. you suprise me. "

". . .________"

I walked closer to him, glaring him in the eye. He stood like a statue, observing my face. I've been gazing at him in the eye for too long it almost made me nauseous, I tumbled a bit, making it so obvious that I wasn't able to stay still for so long. He grabbed my hand and dragged me into the park near the pier, and told me to sit on the grass. I crouched down and sat down with my hands around my legs, Josh sat down aswell, the grass was softer than i thought. We both stayed silent watching the sounds and lights from the large ferris wheel still running inside the peir, watching the people coming in and out. Honestly... what has this become, peeking into your eyes, is now painful too... also.. I was supposed to confess, but instead, i just kept asking questions.. I'm a fool

"Josh.."

"No."

He tilted his body in my direction, I raised my head and stared at him, fiddling with my hands due to nervousness

"Let me talk first,"

"What's bothering me is.. that i just never had the courage to tell you this earlier, and it makes me feel like I've been gatekeeping the truth on purpose. "

I looked away confused, staring at the ferris wheel in the pier as an exuse not to stare at him. He stayed quiet, as I would've while confessing. This news he's about to say.. might shatter me due to his reaction, but I've been waiting for so long that, i don't care.

"Jelly, after i tell you this, i want you to do something for me..."

"Anything..."

"I want you to find someone that'll treat you better than i do..."

. . . .

"What?"

What does he mean? Why's he saying this.. suddenly, holding my chin and telling me to find someone else, how should i show him that he's better than anyone else I would date?