It was dark by the time Silica made it home that night, and her cheeks still felt hot from her previous relations with Erwin. She struggled to power through the warble in her knees, and used the rail on her front porch to help her up the stairs.
She opened the front door to see Amelia sitting alone on the sofa, and figured that Peter and Nora had already begun their journey home. Her back faced Silica, and she couldn't help but quirk a curious brow at what she had been so intently looking at.
"Who is this?"
Amelia's question struck Silica rigid in her place by the door, and she felt the color drain from her cheeks to see that the book she kept Kenny's drawing and address in was held in Amelia's lap, and as she turned to face her mother, she held up Kenny's photo.
"What're you doing with that?" Silica asked immediately, and quickly closed the small distance between them to take it from her. Amelia held it out of reach.
"Who is he?" Amelia asked again as she stood. "And what're these weird addresses I found with his picture?"
"Amelia you know better than to snoop through my things," Silica couldn't help the rising tone of her voice. "Give them to me. Now."
Amelia wavered at her mother's tone, and finally handed her the book with Kenny's picture.
"I wasn't snooping," she said as Silica held the book to her chest. She had a discouraged look on her face. "I was putting my Titan book away and knocked it out of the bookshelf."
Silica inhaled sharply at her excuse, but ultimately decided to say nothing as she moved toward the stairs. Amelia was quick to follow her.
"Mom, who is he?" She pressed, curiosity only increasing at her mother's behavior.
"Amelia, don't." Silica warned as they entered her bedroom. She went straight for the mattress and slid the book underneath.
"Since when do you keep things from me?" She asked. Her stubbornness irked Silica.
"I do a lot of the time, actually," she snapped back. "Not everything is your business. Why don't you just drop it?"
"Because it's clearly something important," Amelia justified adamantly. "Don't you think I'm old enough now to know more about you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Silica found herself hurt by Amelia's words, but she couldn't place the reason why.
"You're my mom but I don't know anything about who you come from or where you come from," she explained. "I mean, sure, you were born in the Underground District, but whose to say that's where your family's always been? I don't get to know anything about Papa's, I should at least get to know about yours."
"Amelia..." Silica withered a bit and looked down. "I would tell you if it were anything worth knowing, but —"
"No, no excuses," Amelia defiantly shook her head. "I don't care if they're good or bad. I want to know."
Silica sighed in defeat, and after a moment of thought, she decided to gesture that Amelia sit beside her on the edge of the bed, and she quickly obliged.
"What do you want to know?"
"Who was the man in the book?" She asked.
"The man's name is Kenny Ackerman," Silica spoke begrudgingly. "He was my father."
"Was?" Amelia looked surprised. "Is he gone now?"
"No," Silica slowly shook her head and looked down again. "He's alive. He lives in the interior as an MP. But... he doesn't claim me, or you or your brother."
"Oh..." Ama pursed her lips in thought. "I'm guessing one of those addresses was his then?"
"That's right."
"And the second?"
"The second address belongs to my mother's family," Silica chewed on the inside of her cheek. "But I can't really tell you a lot about them. I don't know who they are."
"Your mother?" Amelia looked star struck. "You mean she's alive too?"
"Yes," Silica nodded again. "She's the one who gave me the list in the first place."
"But you two aren't close?" Ama guessed. Silica sighed.
"We have an understanding." She decided to say.
"Why don't you try finding her side of the family?"
"I've thought about it," Silica confessed. "But I'm not so sure. I'm not trying to burden these people's lives."
"I don't think it would be a burden at all," Amelia sat up on her knees and angled her head to catch Silica's eye. "You're a legendary member of the Survey Corps! You're also a grown adult who can take care of themselves! You wouldn't be asking them for anything, and wouldn't it be worth it to just try if there's a chance you'll get some more family out of it? I think whoever they are, they'd be so proud to have you!"
"Ama..." Silica sighed for the umpteenth time since arriving home. "I don't know."
"Come on," Amelia was on her knees in front of her mother now. She propped her chin on Silica's legs. "Just one try, and if they suck major dong I promise I'll never bring it up again, so long as I live!"
Silica pinched Amelia's nose and rolled her eyes. "Alright, fine. But if they suck I'll never let you live it down."
"That goes both ways," Amelia pointed out sassily. "I bet they'll be awesome!"
"Yeah, yeah," Silica waved a dismissive hand as she stood up. "You should get to bed, you have ODM training with Levi in the morning."
Amelia didn't hesitate to scoop her mother into a hug, and Silica slowly eased into it as she wrapped her arms around her.
"I love you, Mama," Amelia said and she snuggled into her shoulder. "I'm sorry for being nosey, it's the only way I get anything out of you. I just want you to be happy."
"So you admit you were snooping?" Silica guessed, and Amelia laughed guiltily.
"Well, yeah," she said as she leaned away to get a look at her mother's face. Silica looked back at her pointedly. "You've been in a funk for months, and I knew it couldn't be Erwin cuz he's virtually perfect. And besides, it was a different kind of sad..."
Amelia looked down as she trailed off, and she shrugged. "I don't know... I was worried."
"You know you don't have to worry about me," Silica cupped Amelia's cheeks in her hands to get her to look at her again. "Tell you what, I'll try to be more open if you ask me what's going on, if you can promise not to go through things that aren't yours again. Deal?"
"Only if you promise to actually tell me." Amelia haggled. Silica pursed her lips at her sassy tone.
"Of course I will," Silica pinched her nose again, to which Ama laughed at. "Now get your ass to bed, Levi won't like it if you're late."
Amelia squeezed her mother into one last hug before doing what she was told, and grinned brightly at her as she left the room. Silica watched her as she went, and lowered herself onto the edge of the bed as she prepared herself to ponder over all that Amelia had said to her.
__________
Silica laid on her side on a blanket outside that following afternoon. She had Lucas laying on his belly in front of her, and absently pat his back as he garbled. He was in the process of trying to hoist himself up with his tiny arms, and Duke laid asleep beside them.
A chilly breeze ruffled Silica's hair, and she released a heavy sigh as her mind raced and drew blank at the same time. She was growing progressively tired of it, and scowled absently as she stared off into the distance.
"Silica!"
The sound of Peter's voice elicited her to jump, and she turned her head to see that he was sprinting with all his might in their direction. Silica sat up as she squinted at him in the distance, and realized quickly that Nora was nowhere to be seen.
She could see as Peter grew closer that he had a mortified look on his face, and Silica was quick to scoop Lucas up into her arms and meet him at the tree line he ran towards. Duke followed closely behind her.
"Peter?" Silica asked, concerned as he collided with her legs. "What's wrong?"
"I-it's Nora!" He sounded frantic, and he looked up to her with tears brimming his eyes. "She isn't waking up! She got real sick last night and hasn't gotten up! Please you have to help!"
"Okay," Silica said, trying to remain calm as she beckoned him toward the front porch of her house. "I'll go take a look. Amelia should be home any minute, so why don't you take Lucas inside and I'll be right back?"
"Silica, I'm scared." Peter's voice wavered as he tried not to cry.
"I know, sweetie," she knelt down in front of him and wiped his tears. "But we have to be brave for Nora right now."
The sound of hooves against the dirt drew in both of their attention, and upon looking up, they could see that Amelia had arrived home just in time.
"Amelia," Silica called her over immediately as she dismounted Toffee. "I need you to stay with the boys. Something's wrong with Nora."
"What do you mean?" Ama looked instantly worried as she tied Toffee's reigns to his post before making her way over to them.
"She's not waking up," Silica summarized briefly whilst handing Lucas to her. "Go inside. I'll be back."
Amelia nodded without another word, and motioned for Peter to follow her into the house. Silica mounted Toffee in a flash and was quickly bounding through the forest toward Nora and Peter's house, and barely gave her horse enough time to slow down as she jumped off of him.
She sprinted up to the door — of which was left open in Peter's hurry — and entered the ominously silent home. The air almost smelt stale, and Silica felt her anxiety creeping into her as she slowly went further inside.
"Nora?" She called, almost sounding timid. She received no answer.
Silica walked into the hall toward the open doorway, and peeked her head around the corner to see that Nora was laying on her side in bed. Her hand hung over the side of the mattress, and Silica held her breath as she approached her.
"Nora...?" Silica tried again.
No answer.
Silica felt suffocated by the silence, and gently shook Nora by the shoulder as an attempt to elicit some kind of reaction. She flinched at the chill she felt through the fabric of Nora's sleeve, and felt her stomach fall flat to her feet.
She knelt down beside her as she tucked her long brown hair behind her ear, and grimaced at the sight of her face.
It was evident that Nora had died some time during the night. She was already incredibly pale, and her eyes had sunken into her skull from behind her eyelids. Her lips lacked pigment, and her skin looked pasty and dry.
"Nora..." Silica felt the sudden grief that came with finding her this way, and tentatively took hold of her hand.
She sat there with her for some time, and fought the urge to cry as she forced herself to stand.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered. She couldn't help but bring the covers up closer to Nora's chin. "I..."
She released an unsteady breath as she backed up toward the door, and took one last look at her before finally leaving her in peace.
She made it back to her house at a languid pace atop Toffee's back, and tried her best to shake herself of her grief before she had to face Peter again.
She couldn't help but tie Toffee up as slowly as she could, and hesitated when it finally came time to go inside. She had no idea what she would say to him — or what would happen next. She almost wanted to wait outside for Erwin so she at least had him to face this with her, but knew she couldn't do that to Peter.
She took a deep inhale as she opened the front door, and saw that Peter was sitting at her dining table with his head resting on his arms. Ama stood in the kitchen with Lucas, and their eyes met when she entered the room. She didn't have to say a word for Amelia to know that she returned with bad news, and she silently looked down as she hugged her brother to her chest.
"Peter..." Silica said softly. She took the seat beside him and placed a gentle hand on his back.
"She's gone, isn't she?" He asked without looking up, and his question struck Silica silent.
Silica felt him tense under her hand at her lack of response, and took it upon herself to hoist him into her lap. He buried his nose into the crook of her neck, and Silica's heart broke as she felt his wet face against her skin. She hugged him tightly as he cried, and no one said anything for a long time until the front door creaked open.
Erwin's smile immediately contorted into a look of concern as he entered, and was at Silica's side in an instant to assess what had happened.
"Nora's gone." Silica spoke no higher than a whisper, and looked at Erwin with sad eyes. He didn't need to ask for clarification to know what she meant.
"He can stay with us," Erwin decided, and Silica wordlessly agreed as he moved across the room to take Lucas from Amelia. "I'll watch over Luke. Amelia, head back to HQ and notify Levi of what's happened. He and the MPs will take care of Nora from there."
"I need my ring." Peter spoke almost inaudibly into Silica's neck.
"I'll get it for you, Pete." Amelia promised, and pet his hair before complying with Erwin's task.
"Why don't we take him upstairs?" Erwin proposed once Amelia was gone.
Silica remained stoically silent as she lifted Peter whilst she stood, and laid him down in the bed she shared with Erwin once they were upstairs.
"It'll be alright," Silica spoke softly as she knelt down beside him. She brushed his blond hair out of his eyes. "You've been through a lot. Do you think you can sleep?"
Peter shrugged limply in response. It made her sigh as she pulled the covers over him.
"Why don't you give it a try?" Silica encouraged. "Just shout if you need me, okay?"
Peter nodded slowly in understanding, and Silica pressed a gentle kiss to his temple before exiting the room. She went straight out the front door upon descending the stairs, and sat on the front steps whilst she waited for Levi.
Her fingertips felt numb, and the cool breeze that kissed her cheeks before had turned into an unkind wind that billowed through the trees around her. It was so loud and so quiet at the same time, and Silica felt overwhelmed as the reality of their situation sunk in.
Her heart hurt for Peter, and she could only imagine how he felt as she helplessly sat there.