An: a little bit of a spicy warning for this chapter <3 enjoy you freaks
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Three months had passed since Silica's sit-down with Kenny, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to shake the looming feeling of loneliness that followed her home that night.
She had no reason to feel such a thing, given that she was surrounded by people she loved — and who loved her — on a daily basis, and found herself frustrated that Kenny's adamance in keeping things how they were affected her so much. After all, she went into it expecting that very outcome.
However, she just couldn't seem to understand why she was so unwanted by her parents.
These thoughts flooded her mind day in and day out, and she tried her best to keep busy with Amelia's training camp preparations. It had grown easier to stomach the more real it became, and Ama's optimism helped to ease Silica's anxiety. Some moments were harder than others for Silica, but Ama's aptitude to be a solider was evident.
Amelia was smart, physically capable, and a natural when it finally came to train with the ODM gear. She had an eagerness to learn any and everything she could in regards to the Titans, and soaked up everything like a sponge. She had even gone as far as to take medical lessons from Brutus whenever she found the opportunity. Silica grew more and more proud of her with every passing day, and the sight of her baby growing up before her eyes was bittersweet.
"It's important to remember that Titans emit a scorching steam," Silica was saying as she and Amelia sat in the Scouts archive. Amelia was leant forward in concentration as her mother pointed to the diagram of a Titan in the open book before them. "So try to avoid it when you kill one."
Amelia nodded quickly as she wrote it down in her notebook. "Right. Got it."
Silica smiled softly as she watched her, and finally settled with shutting the book they had been reading and handing it off to Ama.
"That's it for today, kiddo," Silica said whilst cleaning up their workspace. "You've been doing some good work."
"You think so?" Amelia's eyes glimmered hopefully. "Training camp is only three months away, I want to be as prepared as possible."
"You'll know way more than those kids starting out," Silica reassured without looking up. "You'll do just fine."
"The anticipation is eating me alive." Amelia dramatically threw her head back.
"Oh, I'm sure," she humored. "Have it eat you while you head home. It'll be dark soon."
"Your lack of care wounds me, Mother," Amelia continued in a fake sad tone, however she couldn't hide the teasing smile on her face. "How could you?"
"Quit being so dramatic," Silica laughed and shook her head. "Go home."
"Ugh, fine," Amelia finally caved and stood from her chair. "When'll you be back?"
"A little later," Silica replied as the two exited the archive. "I won't be long."
Amelia hugged her mother quickly before she could walk away, and Silica found herself tensing up at the sudden affection as Ama tightened her grip around her.
"You looked like you could use a hug." She explained without Silica having to say anything, and at her words, she immediately softened and returned her daughter's embrace.
"Thanks, kiddo," Silica pecked a quick kiss to Ama's cheek before they parted, and offered her a small smile. "I'll see you at home."
Amelia grinned one final time before finally scurrying down the hall, and Silica watched until she disappeared behind the corner. She chewed thoughtfully on the inside of her lip as they went their separate ways, and went straight to Erwin's office like it was routine.
Their ever growing affections towards each other had only grown in the three months that had passed them by, and for the first time in Silica's life she knew she made the right choice. She had never before experienced someone quite like Erwin, and she counted her lucky stars that she at least had him to help her through her misfortunes — and to eventually help him through his. The mere thought of him now made a gentle smile cross Silica's lips, and the way he treated her kids like they were his own brought her great comfort.
She opened his office door to see him seated at his desk. She didn't make a sound as she entered, and she quietly watched him as he scowled at what looked to be a new set of plans for a potential Expedition. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of going back outside the Walls. The last time she had gone, Avery and Garrett died. The things she had seen and heard flashed in her mind, and she inwardly grimaced as she shook the thoughts away.
"Silica," Erwin's voice made her jump, and when she looked up, she saw him staring back at her. He had an understanding look in his eye. "Are you alright?"
Silica could only blink at his question, and after a moment, she nodded briefly. She watched him as he stood from his chair to meet her across the room, and she didn't move when he cupped her cheeks in his hands.
"It won't be for months," he said softly in gesture to the Expedition. The look in his eye made a wave of calm wash over her. "You'll be alright."
Silica said nothing, and instead reached her arms up and around his shoulders. She had to stand on her toes to hug him, and she buried her face into the crook of his neck as he returned her embrace.
They stood entangled in each other for some time, and while they did, Silica's mind raced with what she could expect for the future ahead of her. It seemed whenever things in her life finally calmed down, another thing would stir the pot and she'd be enveloped in chaos once again. It made a sick settle in the pit of her stomach, and she wished for absolutely nothing but a moment of peace.
She got glimpses of what that felt like when she was able to be alone with Erwin, and prayed to whoever would listen that he wouldn't be taken away from her, too. The mere thought of such a thing terrified her, and she subconsciously tightened her grip around him.
"What's troubling you?" Erwin asked. His voice was quiet as he slowly ran his hands up and down on her hips.
"Nothing," she said quickly, and after a beat of thinking, she leaned away from him to get a look at his face. "I have something to tell you."
Erwin's brow perched in question, but he said nothing as he gestured for her to continue.
"I..." she trailed off for a moment as she looked away from his face. The look in his eye made her heart skip a beat. "I think..."
She muttered almost inaudibly, and through her internal battle with what she wanted to say, Erwin stood patiently before her as he hugged her body against his. She finally looked him in the eye again.
"I think I love you."
Erwin's silence continued, but what replaced his look of patience was one of surprise. His lips formed a tight straight line, and if Silica didn't know any better, she'd say there was a faint blush dusting his cheeks at her words.
"You think?" He sounded almost scared of her answer, and the tone of his voice forced a gentle laugh from Silica. She appeared to be just as surprised by it as Erwin, and covered her mouth with her fingers to stifle it.
"I do," she said simply, and smiled up at him once she finally settled her chuckling. "Love you, I mean."
A relieved smile broke across Erwin's face, and it was his turn to laugh as he swallowed her into another hug. She quickly returned it, and didn't resist him as he lifted her off her feet.
"I love you, too, Silica." Erwin said, leaning away just enough to catch her lips with his.
He placed her back on her feet as he deepened their kiss, and tangled his hands in her short hair as he pressed his body up against hers. Silica couldn't help the shuddery breath that escaped her lips as he did so, and bit her lip to stifle herself as he left a trail of kisses across her cheek and down her neck.
She could feel him harden against her leg at her efforts, and didn't stop him as he as positioned her against the wall. Erwin couldn't seem to help but grind against her, and growled low in his throat as Silica melted against him. His lips eventually found hers again, and Silica felt a shiver run down her spine as he untucked her shirt from her pants.
He unbuckled the straps attached to her belt and slid his hands up against her abdomen all while maintaining their kiss, and Silica felt her breath catch in her lungs as Erwin stopped himself.
He loomed over her with his forehead pressed against hers, and they remained silent as they both tried catching their breath.
"Erwin..." Silica whispered. The sound of her voice made his grip on her hips tighten.
"I don't..." he said, still breathless. His eyes remained closed as he spoke. "I don't want to overstep."
"Please," she said, sounding a lot more desperate than she had intended to. She pulled on his shirt to press him against her again, and the gesture made him groan. "P-please..."
Erwin had opened his eyes to look at her as she spoke, and the intensity of it all was almost too much for Silica to handle. Just him looking at her felt good.
Erwin then took it upon himself to hoist Silica into his arms, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he kissed her again. He slowly took her from their place against the wall to his desk, and he didn't look up as he brushed everything off the surface to lay Silica against it.
He began working at the strap on her chest, and tore off her waist jacket as he lifted her shirt up to sprinkle kisses along her stomach. Silica sucked in a breath at the sensation it left behind, and felt the heat between her legs when he finally pushed himself up against her again.
She let out a sweet sound, and didn't dare break Erwin's eye contact as he undid his belt. She followed his lead while trying to not look as eager as she felt, and didn't stop him when he pulled her pants off just enough to reveal her soaking entrance.
She watched as Erwin's eyes trailed down to between her legs, and felt yet another shiver run through her as he stared. He was in the midst of undoing his pants with one hand, and with the other, he began pressing his thumb against her. He watched her eyes roll back as he worked at her clit, and groaned again at the sight of her writhing for him.
He leant down to kiss her as he replaced his thumb with his member, and moaned on her lips as he grinded against her.
"S-Silica.." Erwin growled as he positioned himself before her entrance, and the sound of his voice alone was almost enough to make her finish.
He looked her in the eye as he pushed himself inside her, and the two let out a simultaneous moan that elicited Silica to clamp a hand over her mouth.
"God please don't stop it," Erwin spoke into the crook of her neck as he pounded into her. "Please. I-I want to hear you."
"Erwin," Silica felt tears brimming her eyes at the pleasure he brought her, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as she did what he asked of her. "F-fuck..."
They went at it for a long while before Erwin's pace became erratic, and Silica could tell that he was reaching his climax. Sweat trickled his brow and his now messy bangs fell over his forehead as he drilled deeper into her.
"I-I'm gonna.." Silica barely managed to get the words out before she was cumming, and Erwin was quick to follow with one final thrust inside of her.
The two went limp against each other as the tension finally settled, and Erwin took a moment to catch his breath as he pressed gentle kisses to Silica's face, and she cradled his cheeks in her hands as he did so.
"I'm sorry," he said as he looked between them. "It appears I've made a mess."
Silica didn't bother containing her giggle, and Erwin smiled fondly at her as he fixed himself and cleaned her up.
He helped her off of the desk, and allowed her to use him as an aid in standing given the shaking state of her legs, and helped her refasten all of her ODM buckles.
"Come home with me." She said softly as she leaned up against him. He wrapped his arms around her.
"I would, you know that," he said whilst kissing the top of her head. "But I still have a lot of work to get done."
"Ughh." She grumbled at that, but neglected to remove herself from him.
"Stay?"
"I promised Ama I wouldn't be long," Silica sighed in defeat as she pouted up at him. It made him smile. "Come home as soon as you're done."
"Of course, my love," Erwin said, and accepted the kiss she had given him once she finally stood up straight. "I'll be there as soon as I can."
Erwin leaned against his desk as he watched her leave, and she offered him one last shy smile before disappearing behind the door.