TWO WEEKS LATER: EARLY AUGUST 2013
• M A L I K •
"Mama! Look," I damn near fell as I ran to the kitchen. I shoved my first check in her hand watching as her eyes went wide at the number.
"$3400? Whur the hell you work at?"
Oh shit. Let me make something up.
"I uh—at this big company,"
"What company?" I forgot my mama is nosy as hell.
"A company that makes cars and shit," I lied.
"Mmm, okay. Well, I'm happy for you Malik. You can finally move out,"
I smacked my lips, "Man, you know youn want me ya move out,"
"Yes, the hell I do. I like to have sex, Malik," I immediately scrunched my face up in disgust.
"What the fuck?" I spoke walking out of the kitchen.
"How you think you got hur, boy!" She yelled as I ran up the stairs to my room. I can't listen to that shit no more, or I'll throw up.
I sat on the edge of my bed and stared at the check. A smile spread across my face. I felt so accomplished; like I was finally taking steps towards being the man I wanted to be.
An incoming Facetime call broke me from my staring, and of course, it was the familiar face I'd grown to call one of my homies.
"Wassup, Trevon," I smiled. He had his phone propped up on his desk, and I saw him in a button-up that damn near looked too tight and some glasses. Since when did he wear glasses?
"You blind, nigga?" I asked, and he laughed at my question.
"Yeah, but I normally got my contacts in," he chuckled, and I nodded at his answer.
"Look what I got," I cheesed, putting my check in the camera.
He gave me a big smile, showing all his perfect teeth. "I'm proud of you, Malik,"
Damn, that almost made my heart skip a beat. What's wrong with me...I smiled back at him. "Thank, you"
"But the reason I called is to tell you some good news."
"Okay," I repositioned myself so that I was lying on my back, resting my head on my hand.
"Well, you and Barbie's video is doing amazing, like way better than normal for a newbie,"
My smile grows bigger at the news, and I feel proud of myself for the first time in a very long time.
"So, congratulations on that, and y'all should be getting some nice royalties from it. And, because it's your first film, and it did so well, me and Jessica planned a little gathering at the local bar fa tonight if you up for it,"
"Hell, yeah I am," I smiled. "Thank, you,"
"You welcome, Malik. You deserve it,"
Damn, there goes my heart again.
"I was wondering' if you could help me look for a place?" I asked averting my eyes from the screen.
"Uhh, yeah, I'm off tomorrow. You wanna go tomorrow? I can hit up my real estate agent,"
"Yeah, thank you..." I paused. "Why you always doin' stuff fa me? What makes me worth all this?" I asked.
"Why do you think you're undeserving? Is the real question,"
"It's people way more deservin',"
"It might be, but I don't know them people, I know Malik Taylor, and I know that Malik Taylor is deserving of all the good things life has to offer,"
Our eyes locked for a moment after he said that, I could feel my face heating up. I turned my head quickly, "Thank, you,"
I watch him lick his lips, then grin at me. I feel like the nigga looking down on me even through the phone. "Aight, be ready at eight, I'll be thur ta pick you up,"
"Okay, I'll see you,"
"Aight, bye, Malik,"
"Bye," I hung up the call, exhaling, staring at the ceiling.
"Somethin' weird is happenin' ta me," I said aloud to myself.
Trevon makes me feel weird. I never had a friend like him, maybe that's why.
I wasn't gonna think about it too much though. I have a feeling if I did I wouldn't like the answer too much.
I feel my phone vibrate again, I reluctantly answer it seeing my baby mama's name on the screen. "Wassup, Tash?"
"You gettin' Madison tomorrow right?"
"Yeah, don't I always get her on the weekends?"
"Don't get smart wit me, Malik,"
"Nah, you keep askin' me like ion take care of my kid," I said getting a bit angry. I'm not gonna lie, every time I spoke to Tasha I felt angry. She really hasn't been fuckin' wit me for about a month, and I'm really thinkin' she might be done with us.
"Well, all you do is watch her? How else do you take care of ha, Malik?"
I smacked my lips feeling my anger grow inside of me. "Fuck you mean?"
"I mean when are you gon' help me wit her? Devontae doin' more than you," I chuckled at that, she had me fucked up.
"You gon' go thur? You gon' bring that nigga up like I wasn't in fuckin' prison!" I seethed.
"Ain't nobody make you get locked up, Malik. Ain't nobody force you to rob them people's house,"
"How long you gon' keep holdin' this shit ova my head? I'm out now, and I'm fuckin' tryin'! I been tryna be a father as much as I can. I got a job. I got my first check today finally feelin' like I made somethin' of myself, and of course, you gotta make me feel fuckin' horrible again," My voice started to shake. "What happened to us, Tash? We ain't used to be like this,"
She stayed silent for a moment. "You left me, Malik," I heard her voice crack like she was holding back tears.
"How many times do I need to tell you I'm sorry for you ta stop feelin' that way? I'm sorry, Tasha. I'll say it a million times if I have to,"
"Stop it, Malik," I hear her start to cry.
"Tasha, you know I still love you,"
"Malik,"
"And, all I want is fa me, you, and Madison to be together,"
There was silence, a longer one this time. "I'll bring Madison over tomorrow around noon, bye," she quickly ended the call.
"Tasha!" I felt my chest start to tighten. I was angry and I suddenly forgot how to breathe. It wasn't until my mom called my name for lunch that I finally realized that I was holding my breath.
I exhaled deeply, blinking the tears that were imprisoned in my eyes, shaking them away. I got up from the bed and ran downstairs hoping to escape my somber thoughts.
...
"You good, Malik?" Trevon asked me; worry on his tongue. I was zoning out as we drove to the bar. I haven't said anything to him since he picked me up which ain't normal. We'd usually be laughing about dumb shit, like memes I just discovered.
I shook my head. "Yeah," I was obviously lying. I just didn't feel like talking about it.
"You, lyin', Malik. You know you can talk to me about shit too,"
I was hesitant to answer. I didn't like talking too much about my feelings and shit. But, I trusted Trevon. I know he would never judge me. If he was going to, he would've been.
"...I guess," I started taking a big breath. "when I got outta jail, I thought I would be a lot happier. I thought I would be wit Tasha raisin' our kid as I got on my feet—eventually makin' enough to take care of them both...that we would still be in love like we was," I paused. He didn't say anything, he just continued to drive and listen. "but...it's nothin' like that and it almost feels worse than prison," I let out a sad chuckle. "At least every time you get a visit, it was smiles and laughter. They were actually happy ta see me. It seems like everyone now just looks at me with disappointment,"
"Not everybody," he said softly, quickly glancing over smiling at me before locking his eyes back on the road. "I'm proud of you, and I don't know if it counts nearly as much as it would from other people, but Imma still say it,"
I started to smile against my will. "That's what I want ta see, yo cute ass smilin'. You got so much ta smile about—for example getting a fat ass check and goin' out and celebratin' it," he cheesed. I was gonna say something about him calling me cute, but I let it go. He did cheer me up. "Now, no more sad talk. Let's turn the fuck up,"
"Fuck, yeah!"
...
• T R E V O N •
I feel bad for Malik. Maybe that's why I want to help him so much. I can see the determination in his eyes every time we meet, but there's also always a veil of sadness and anxiety that comes along with it.
I don't know where it comes from. I can't even imagine what he's been through. Just the fact that he went to prison probably was traumatizing. I've never been to jail—except when I had to bail out my nigga a few times, or when they handcuffed me because we got into a bad fight when I was like twenty-one, but they end up letting me go.
Anyway, I really want Malik to enjoy tonight. He worked damn hard. Staying up with me to practice, coming to the office every other day to practice his lines, in the gym for weeks so he could look his best—even though his body was already perfect to me...
Point is, he deserves one night from living in his bubble of sorrow.
Tonight we poppin' that mufucka.
"MALLIIKKKKKK!" I hear Jessica's already drunk ass scream. She approached us as we were walking into the bar. She deadass jumped on Malik, he damn near dropped her, but his little ass held her.
"Wassup, Jess," he smiled, putting her down. Her face then turned into a pour which made me confused.
"How you gon' fuck Barbie before me?" she slightly slurred. I rolled my eyes and Malik's smile just grew big as hell.
"I gotchu luh mama," he replied licking and biting his lip while she smiled back.
"Alright now, let's actually go inside," I butt in grabbing Jessica's drunk ass and pulling her into the club with Malik behind us.
We walked into the bar, music instantly filling my ear with the sound of Pour It Up by Rihanna.
"Tre! Girl, you finally hur!" I was greeted by one of my good friends outside of work named Anthony. I met him at a gay club a few years ago—maybe around 2009, and we've been cool ever since. "Wait, who is that fine ass little nigga?" he referred to Malik who stood behind me.
"Aye, that's my dick, Tony!" Jessica slurred and I just shook my head.
"His name is Malik, he's our new breakout star," I turned around to Malik, who looked nervous. I grabbed his arm pulling him in front of me, him muggin' me of course. "Malik, this is my good friend Anthony or Tony. And Tony, he's straight, so don't try it," I raised a brow.
"I didn't even say nuthin!"
"But yo gay ass was thinkin' it," I chuckled.
"Touché, he's cute what can I say," I saw Malik start blushing a bit.
"Thank, you, shawty. Nice ta meet you, I'm Malik," he held his hand out, shaking Tony's hand.
But did he just call him shawty? Maybe because he's fem and he's being nice? Imma go with the latter.
I could see Tony's hoe ass start blushing as he shook Malik's hand. Then, Jessica snatched Malik's hand away and pulled him out to the dance floor with a shot in her hand that she gave to Malik.
"You sure he's straight?" Tony asked when he was gone.
"Yeah?" I said more like a question. "He gotta baby mama and everything,"
"So does Dayshawn, and yet you still be bendin' his ass ova don't you?"
"Fuck, you, Tony," I flicked him off.
"Aye, you know I've been waiting to sit on yo big sexy ass,"
"You're such a slut!" I laughed
As me and Tony downed a few shots I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around seeing Megan and not with her normal attire on, but a short black tight dress that shows off that banging ass body she has.
Look, I may be gay, but I still appreciate women, and can still acknowledge the beauty they possess.
"You look sexy as fuck," I bit my lip at her making her roll her eyes.
"What I tell you 'bout flirtin' wit my wife," I roll my eyes laughing watching her wife, Brittany, emerge from behind her.
She was a five foot two, femme, in heels, yelling at me—a six foot four, two hundred plus pound nigga.
It was a funny site for sure.
"Hey, Brit," I waved to her little ass. "Ian see you inna long time, you miss me,"
"Never. I hate you," she pouted making me laugh.
"Be nice, baby," Megan chuckled. "Tre, whur's Malik?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "Either dancing wit Jess or fuckin' Jess. You pick,"
Megan shook her head, grabbing a shot from the bar. "Jessica, Jessica, Jessica. I'll have ta scold her ass later,"
"Aye, we gon' stop standin' round hur and fuck up the dance flo or what?" Tony's country ass spoke.
"Hell, yeah, hillbilly," I joked, and he pushed me, then dragged me out to dance.
...
One this I've also noticed about Malik—well I've noticed it or I'm drunk: the more liquor he puts in his body, the more anxious, yet clingy his little ass gets.
Maybe it's because I'm the one he feels the most comfortable with here, but I swear at a certain point, he only stood beside me. "Tre, whur you goin'?" he would ask every time I stepped away from him, and I swear at one point I even felt him grab the back of my shirt to stop me from leaving, or did I make that up? I don't know, I'm pretty sure it happened.
"Tre," Malik slightly slurred. Anthony waved to me to come dance with him, for I went back to the bar and got another shot.
I turned my head to Malik who's eyes were big. He looked around him, looking nervous. I really gotta take my lil baby to see a psychologist about this anxiety shit.
"Wassup, Malik?" I asked, slightly slurring myself.
"Whur you goin'?"
I smirked, pointing to the dance floor. I didn't even say anything back, I just grabbed his hand, he jumped a bit at me doing it, but I just pulled him with me.
If he wanted to be on my hip all night, he was gonna dance too.
"Trevon, Ion wanna dance," He complained.
"Okay, go back ta the bar then," I said back.
He sighed but continued following me.
We got to where Anthony was, and then the song changed to Motivation by Kelly Rowland featuring Lil Wayne.
"Ayeeeee!" Tony said grabbing my hands. He turned around in my arms putting my hands on his waist as he started grinding on me. I saw Malik make a confused face, but his attention was captured by Jessica who came over and started dancing on him.
Good, he needs to relax a bit.
"That nigga been stuck ta you like glue all night. Y'all really not fuckin'?" Anthony asked me still dancing on me as I held his hips.
"Nah, we really not. I don't want to either, plus he's straight,"
"I can kinda believe you don't want him, specially 'cuz of yo loser ass nigga," I rolled my eyes. "But, him being straight? The way he was on you tonight, and the way he looked at you,"
"Looked at me? Watchu mean?"
"That nigga looks at you like you the sun," and that was all he said. I still was confused, but I didn't ask more. I just glanced over to see him smiling and Jessica laughing; they were probably whispering dirty shit in each other's ears.
I chuckled to myself thinkin' how Anthony was wrong in his assessment, and just went back to dancing.
...
The gathering came to a close around one. Most of them had to work in the morning.
I stayed behind, talking to the bar owner, and just making sure everything was in order, leaving the bartender a big ass tip.
I searched around looking for Malik, getting slightly nervous when I saw the empty bar and he wasn't there.
I went outside and found him smoking a blunt. He looked over when he heard the door open, his eyes looking like they were waiting for me. He waved to me, a small smirk appearing on his face.
He's so damn cute. With his drunk, high, fine ass.
Yeah, I've stopped denying myself from thinking that.
I walked over to him, standing next to him in silence. He just passed me the blunt, and we stood there for a moment just smoking, not a word being spoken. Just enjoying the Kentucky night sky.
I used to hate being here when I was younger, but I kinda appreciate the beauty of this place now.
"You ready ta go?" I asked him breaking our silence, he gave me a nod in response, and without thinking I held my hand out, and to my surprise he grabbed it...
My heart started beating quickly as my high took over and I felt the warmth of his smaller hand in mine. We walked to my car. I helped his drunk ass in the car, getting in on the driver's side. Before I pulled off, I looked over to him really taking in his appearance for the first time tonight.
He had his hair pulled back in a bun revealing his fade and line up. He had on a short-sleeved graphic shirt that showed off his toned arms that were decorated in tattoos. He sagged a little bit, as he slouched in my passenger seat, with his legs open, and the seat pushed back...just like a hood nigga.
"You starin' hard ain't you—gay ass nigga," he muffled then chuckled.
"A lil bit," I admitted, biting my lip. I snapped my head away for I ended up doing something I regret. I don't want to cross that line with him. "Anyway, my place is closer and Ion wanna drive too fah, so we goin' to my place,"
"Whatever," he shrugged.
I pulled off, putting on Suit & Tie by Justin Timberlake.
"I can't wait, till I get you on the flo," I heard Malik quietly sing. I turned down the music a bit.
"Yo ass can really sing, Malik," I complimented.
"You really th—think so?" his drunk ass stuttered.
"Yes. Yes, I do." I replied. "Oh, I forgot to ask you, did you have fun?"
"Mmhmm,"
"You sure?" I was skeptical of his answer, for how he was following me all night.
"Yeah, I was a l-lol nervous 'cuz Ian k-know nobody, but everybody was nice ta me, congratulatin' me n shit, and Tre,"
"Yeah,"
"Imma fuck Jessica. I j-just wanna be a good frien n letchu know," he laughed, making me laugh too.
"Thank you, I guess?" I laughed.
...
The rest of the ride was fairly silent except every so often when Malik would sing, blessing my ears. That was before he fell asleep.
We arrived to my house. I raised the garage, parking.
Before I got out of the car, I tried to wake up Malik, but he wouldn't wake up.
"Malik," I shook him a bit, but he just groaned and stayed asleep.
I sighed, getting out of the car, going to his side. "Malik," I shook him again. He didn't wait. I sighed, princess style picked him up. He didn't even budge, and I rolled my eyes.
I walked to my back door; I tried my best to hold him with one arm and open the door with the keys. I went up to my second floor, putting him down in my guest bedroom. I took off his shoes, deciding to leave his clothes on. I put a blanket over him, shaking my head at how drunk his ass was before going to my room.
I took my clothes off took a quick shower and put on my night clothes.
I sat in my bed, staring at the ceiling thinking about the man a couple of rooms over from me.
What was he doing to me? Why was I feeling this way... over a straight man at that?
Tre you so stupid. Always end up liking the wrong nigga.
I won't cross that line though. I don't mix business with pleasure. Besides, I need to focus on helping and working it out with Dayshawn.
I closed my eyes before slowly letting my intoxication make me fall asleep.
...
I woke up with a slight headache. Groaning, sitting up in my bed. I got up and went to the bathroom, popping some Advil with the tap water from the sink.
I brushed my teeth, and put on some clothes feeling my stomach growl.
I went downstairs to my kitchen and started making a simple breakfast: eggs, bacon, toast, and sausage.
"Nigga, I thought I got kidnapped!" I heard Malik scream at me. I jumped forgetting that I brought him back to the house last night.
"Had me thinkin' some white people kidnapped me and was about to sell me in fuckin' Russia or sum," he huffed walking up to the kitchen island grabbing a piece of bacon.
"Damn, nigga you ain't even gon' say good afternoon?" I chuckled.
"Good afternoon, nigga," he said taking a bite of the bacon, hopping into one of the bar chairs at the island.
I smacked my lips, turning my focus back on the eggs while Malik sat on his phone.
"You hungry?" I asked.
"Watchu think?"
"You a smart ass nigga. I'll beat you up,"
"Again, I'll shoot yo big ass,"
"Wit what gun?" I raised a brow as I moved the eggs off the stove.
"Imma buy one—speakin' of, can we also cash my check today?"
"Yeah, what bank you use?"
"Bank?"
Wait, huh?
"You—you don't have a bank account?" I asked.
He smacked his lips. "Man, you know I was in prison!"
"Oh, yeah, my bad. I guess we gotta get you a bank account too," I said shaking my head.
I grabbed two plates and cups, fixing our plates and some orange juice bringing them to the living room. He quietly followed me, sitting next to me grabbing his plate, and began eating.
"Thank you," he said with his mouth half full, making me laugh.
"Is it good?"
"Hell, yeah nigga you can cook!" he spoke, then his phone started to ring, he sighed, looked at me then got up to go in the hallway.
I ate, hearing some cussing, and loud sighs before he hung up and came back in the room.
"You good?"
"Yeah, but I fucked up and forgot my baby mama was bringing the kid over around this time...so uhh, can she come wit us to go look at the apartments n shit?"
"Yeah, sure."
"You sure?"
"Yeah," I chuckled. "You think I'm scared of kids?"
"Nah," he laughed. "I just wanted to make sure you'd be comfortable with et? You feel me?"
I nodded. "Hurry n eat so we can pick up ya child,"
...
After eating, we headed to his house, picking up his daughter, who was already there. He and his baby mama got into an argument that I couldn't hear because he told me to just wait in the car until she left.
After about ten minutes of waiting, talking to Megan on the phone about some work stuff, and her telling me she and her wife are looking into adoption, I finally see Malik walk out of the house with a little girl next to him looking like a darker, smaller version of him, and she had two pigtails instead of dreadlocs.
I smiled at the sight, as they walked down the steps. He opened the back seat, buckling her in. "Say 'hi' to Mr Tre, Madison," he told her.
"Hi, Mr Tre!" her sweet little voice greeted me instantly making me feel warm inside. Kids are so adorable.
"Hey, Madison. You're daddy tells me a lot of good things about you,"
He got in the car. "You better be good and respect Mr Tre, aight,"
"Imma be good, Daddy...If I be good can we go ta Gattyland?"
He laughed, "You are somethin' else girl. Yeah, we can go if you be good, I promise, Ladybug," he reached back pinky promising her.
We pulled off, going to the first apartment my realtor recommended. It was a nice two-bedroom, he requested two one for him and his daughter.
It had a modern feel with stainless steel appliances and was eight hundred a month.
"Whatchu think, Bug?" He asked Madison who was currently opening and closing the refrigerator.
She ran over to Malik, who was sitting on the couch. "I like it!" she gave him a thumbs up.
"Whatchu think?" he looked over to me.
He wants my input?
"Oh, uh—it's nice but I think you can get bigger for around the same price," I spoke honestly.
"Well, let's do that then. Bug we gon' look at another one, and then tell me which one you like the best, okay?"
She nodded her little head, and we then headed to the next place.
Madison ended up liking that one a lot more, and it was in Malik's budget. I let my realtor know about his decision, and gave him Malik's number, so they could do business. I was going to take him to the bank too, but it ended up being too late, we will go another time.
I drove him back to his house, getting his daughter some ice cream before we arrived at their house.
"Mama, open the door," he told his mama on the phone. "Ladybug go to your granny, I'll be in thur inna second."
"Okay!" she replied getting out of the car and running up the steps.
There was a moment of silence before Malik broke it. "Thank you for all this. I really appreciate everything you're doin' fa me. I may not say it all the time, but it means the world ta me. I haven't been havin' the best time since I got out, but I can say seeing that goofy porn poster," he laughed. "and becomin' yo friend and my kid has been the highlight,"
"Of course, Malik—and, especially wit the way your video doin', you earned every dollar, but I also like havin' yo luh ass around,"
He rolled his eyes, flicking me off. "Gimme kiss," I said joking, poking my lips out. I heard him smack his lips, making me turn away from him, fake pouting.
Then, I felt soft, warm lips on my cheek, and it felt like the world stopped for a second. I whipped my head around at him, but he was already out of the car running up the steps towards his house. He looked back giving me a smile and wave, leaving me there stuck.
My body was on fire as I touched the spot where he kissed. I stared at my steering wheel for probably a whole minute before gaining my sense of self again.
What the hell just happened?