I don't know why I am
The way I am,
not strong enough to be your man.
✧.·:·.*
warnings: themes of depression and violence.
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HELENA's POV
*inner thoughts are in italics
She was going through a depressive episode, skipping school the whole week and turning her phone off; just listening to Lana del Rey and Mitski on repeat.
As the week progressed her thoughts kept getting darker, she came to the conclusion that she truly was the root of all her problems and all her failed relationships and maybe, just maybe, she should just disappear... she bet no one would care. It wasn't fair being only seventeen and feeling all these emotions, life sucked, and she didn't even want to think about the fact of her absent-never-home parents.
That was until Friday when Isabel and Brittany came barging into her room, demanding explanations and showing concern about her state; they had never seen her friend this sad, not less over a person.
She ranted and poured her heart out, talking about what happened after the last fight club reunion; told them how she felt like a failure and that she deserved it. Her friends convinced her to at least come to the pre-game celebration, she was the captain, but Stella was her replacement for the meantime, so she wasn't going to do the cheerleading performance.
So here she was, in the present, Isabel ironing her hair and Brittany helping her choose an outfit as she did her makeup with clammy hands, for once not using anything blue related; she decided to wear a green bodysuit that represented her mood right now, which was bitterness.
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3rd POV
When she arrived at the pep rally, Helena immediately regretted coming, not only was she late, but looking for a seat, and some girls from the fight club were waving at her to sit next to them, she smiled until she noticed that at the up back of the bleachers there was, the one person she was avoiding, Hazel, who stared at her with a sad broken look, she only gave her a stare back.
Sighing and waving away at her friends, she decided to sit at the bottom of the bleachers where the cheerleading team was.
fuck my life, Helena thought.
Isabel, Brittany, and the whole cheerleading team didn't have too many days to come up with a performance, with her being absent from school, so her reaction when she saw Stella in the center getting wet with a bucket of water and exclaiming 'Yay Football ', she gasped loud and burst out laughing, hand in her mouth.
Isabel saw her reaction and winked in content to her. After that Brittany sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her small frame, giving her a peck on her forehead, "Are you okay?" her friend asked.
She nodded, giving her an attempt at a smile.
"Thank you all for joining us today, folks," Tim said on the mic, Jeff standing beside him.
"There's been some exciting stuff happening at Rockbridge Falls, recently." He said, looking at his friend, who acted surprised.
"How many of you know about that little girl fight club, going on?" Tim asked in a smug tone.
Helena leaned more into Brittany, giving Tim a glare, he was planning something, and she could feel it.
"AY, THERE GO MY GIRLS!" Mr. G yelled proudly, pointing at most of the fight club sitting at the bottom of the bleachers.
"Well, do we have a surprise for you." Tim sarcastically said, he looked around in the bleachers, "We're going to bring... where is she?" He points, "Hazel, down." He smiles.
Helena sat straight, looking back, seeing Hazel look around with a doubtful look, making straight eye contact with her, she quickly turned, leaning once again on Brittany's body.
"One of the founding members, she's going to show us everything the club's taught her," He smiled, "In a fun little challenge."
Hazel stood up, stepping down the stairs, not before passing by Helena's side bending a little, "This is for you." Hazel whispered giving her a confident smile and moving away, Helena gave her an incredulous look, her mouth dropping open, not uttering a word; Brittany who was beside her gave her a nudge in her shoulder smiling cheekily at her.
Helena was too proud, so she decided not to comment and instead crossed her arms and legs while watching Hazel step in front of the tallest and bulkiest boy she had ever seen in her life.
"Hazel will be fighting, Tucker," Tim said.
"Oh she's fucking crazy," Helena stated, raising her eyebrow, her heartbeat increasing, she anxiously started to close her hands into fists, making marks on her skin.
"Wait, I thought I was going to be fighting PJ," Hazel whispered to herself.
"I know what you're thinking. Girls can do anything that boys can, right?" Tim asked.
Hazel started to breathe hard, a panicked look coming across her face, which made Helena doubt if she could actually handle this fight, Brittany grabbed her friend's hand, releasing the hurt she had on herself, giving her a tight squeeze and a reassuring look.
"Ready?" Tim asked.
Helena squeezed Brittany's hand tighter, gulping loudly.
"Go." Tim said.
The scary boy came running straight to Hazel, who tripped him, she walked around with a proud look, gazing a moment towards the bleachers to see Helena with a scared expression on her face, being distracted by it, the boy pushed Hazel's chest hard, making her fly away and towards the floor.
The fight club girls started to encourage her, while Helena just watched with a state of shock, she felt this was a type of torture or something from one of her nightmares.
Hazel slowly stood up, giving the scary boy a threatening look, running quickly towards him and punching him straight on the cheek, the boy gave her a shocked look trying to throw multiple punches at her which she smoothly dodged. Helena for once felt hopeful, she got this.
Hazel gave the boy a kick and started to throw punches on his stomach, which did nothing, he started to laugh in her face, which made Hazel mad, and quickly she jumped on his back and started to scratch his face and pull his hair. Everyone was confused, they didn't know who was actually winning at this point, Helena and Brittany shared confused looks.
The boy threw Hazel over his back like she weighed nothing, making her drop face down. Helena felt nauseous, her breath coming out short.
"I know what you're wondering. How a girl, under the training of two juvie convicted killers," He commented on the mic pointing at Josie and PJ in the crowd, who looked nervously around, "can't even stand up for herself against a regular old boy." He said.
The football team cheered.
"Well the truth is, they didn't go to juvie," Tim said with a fake hurt tone, Jeff beside him acting shocked, "There's no record of them there. And according to Hazel, they've never fought anyone at all, and you know what else? They didn't start the club to empower women, they did it to fuck cheerleaders." He stated.
"What is wrong with you? It is such a shame." Tim asked at Josie and PJ.
Helena tried to process the information, but she was distracted by Hazel's body which was barely moving on the floor, a drip of blood came out of her mouth, and she quickly stood up, "Hazel! Hazel, get up! Hazel!" She shouted nervously at her, noticing the boy stomping towards her.
"It is such a shame." Tim reproached, "We were rooting for you girls."
"GET UP, HAZEL!" Helena shouted again.
The boy without hesitation kicked Hazel's face, knocking her out, her ragged body lay face up all bloody.
Helena let out the most screeching scream which made the crowd fall silent, she ran as fast she could towards her body sliding down hard on her knees and leaning toward Hazel's body, her hands shaking as she grabbed her face delicately, checking for her pulse on her neck while tears drop her cheeks as muffled sobs came out of her lips, she grabbed Hazel's body towards her lap.
She felt someone brush her shoulder which made her turn around and throw a punch at the air, the person dodged, "Helena, hey, it's me, it's okay," Isabel her friend said she looked like she was crying too, she noticed all the girls from the fight club giving her pity looks; started grabbing Hazel's limbs and slowly carrying her out of the gym.
Brittany grabbed Helena from the floor as if interacting with a wounded animal, trying to calm her down as she dragged her away too. Helena's hands were shaking as she tried to call 911 on her phone.
Helena really thought she was cursed.
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Please like and comment ✨
I'm trying to write as much as possible because there's only like 2 chapters left, I've grown fond of this story and creating such character as Helena ;(.
We're not out of the woods yet... but I promise our girlies are going to made up!
I wanna give Hazel and Helena a kiss on their foreheads, my babies
Also,
*wolf howls*
- Eve