Finally, the damn thing chimed, and she ran into it, not caring if people were coming off. As fast as she could, she pushed the button for her floor and hurried the doors closed. Once they did, she sagged back against the wall, the tears pricking her eyes. The mental battle she was fighting was going to drain her.
Her mind knew the truth, that all of that was fake. That it was the show they put on. But her heart, her heart didn't like not knowing that it wasn't about her. That playing coy, or playing at all, really upset her. And it wasn't wise. Which, of course, led her down the road of wondering what the hell she was doing with an actor? It almost felt like the bed she had just left hours ago was a long-distant memory.
The doors opened and she walked out, a groan leaving her lips. She wouldn't break down in the open. Who knew what evil could be lurking around the corner to take a picture of her and post it. Through blurry eyes, she finally swiped the card to open the door. Once in, she tossed it on the little table and then plopped on her bed.
She needed to think. Need to cry. But she needed to talk too. Her friends would tell her she was stupid and blowing this up. And part of her knew that. But was it so hard to not play the part SO MUCH? Angel was a good actor. But where was the acting? The show that just happened, or with her?
Once more, she groaned, throwing her arm over her eyes. This is why she hated thinking. This is why she hated being in her head. She was so damn good at tossing around ideas and then making herself sick of them. And most of the time, they weren't even fucking true.
With a grunt, she sat up and her sore limbs protested the movement. And honestly, she fully agreed. She dug her phone out of her pocket, knowing the one person she could bounce ideas at. The one woman who never let her down and would always offer sage advice. Regardless of whether Judith took it or not. She strolled through her contacts and tapped the call icon.
"Well, hello, famous daughter of mine." Judith rolled her eyes at her mother.
"No, not famous, not by a long shot, Mom." Judith crawled over to lay on the pillow as she held the phone to her ear.
"What is it?"
"What makes you think anything is going on, Mom?"
"Really? This is me. Besides, I know your tones and there is something in your voice. So, spill. I'm going to also assume it has to do with Angel."
"How would you guess?" Her mom chuckled at that, and Judith heard a chair scrapping. Her mom was sitting at the table, waiting for her to talk. "They had a break," Judith started.
"I guess that's a good thing. What did you two do on the island?"
"He rented a cabin on the other side of the island," she whispered, the blush creeping up her cheeks. For crying out loud, she was a grown-ass woman, why was she embarrassed about this?
"Oh, I like the sound of that. Did he make your fantasies come true?"
"Mom!" Judith groaned, causing her mom to laugh again.
"Judith, your grown, I'm grown. You write romance stories. I've had babies. I was young once. I think it's way past time for you to get over this."
"It's not the act, exactly." Judith paused and she could hear her mom tapping her nails on the kitchen table.
"You have a problem with the age gap, don't you?' Judith wanted to say no, but her mom knew her. "Listen, honey, we know he's younger, but if he makes you happy, that's all we care about. That's all we want. You have never followed the norm on anything you've done. Why would finding love be any different?"
"He's an actor."
"Yeah, gathered as much. What's the problem there? Just tell me what's going on, because something has you really upset."
"These past two days were magical, and yes, he made me so happy. I found out things about myself with him I never knew of. He was attentive, he was loving, and he pleased me so much that my body is yelling at me."
"Good signs, for sure."
"They are. And I want nothing more than to go back to that time." Judith paused as she focused on a string in the comforter for a moment, while she collected her thoughts. "Of course, you have to come back to reality. When we got back to the hotel, the director was there, saying an emergency press conference was happening and he had been trying to get a hold of us to get Angel back sooner.
"Being the supportive partner I am, I went down to watch him. Expect, none of the questions they were asking were pleasing. They talked about their happiness in working together, they talked about the damn rumor mill of him possibly dating someone. To which his one response was silence with a coy look cast to his side, to Molly." Her mom sighed and in Judith's mind's eyes, she saw her mom shaking her head.
"Are you seeking my permission to be upset?"
"I don't need your permission."
"Because it's foolish, Judith." Judith's jaw dropped at that. "I'm not discounting your feelings here."
"Sure seems like it," Judith mumbled, but she didn't hang up nor did she drop the phone.
"I'm not. You're always allowed to feel how you want. But in this case, I think you're making it bigger than it is. I'm not going to say it's right they can't come out and discuss it, but what bothers you the most? That he might be true in his feelings for you? Or that he's not showing the world, YET, that you mean so much to him?"
"It's....," but Judith stopped. Her mom was right. What was exactly bothering her?
"If he booked you a quiet place, took you to the stars and back, plenty of times over. If he's introducing you to family and talking to yours, it's not because he's faking with you, honey. You need to remember that. I don't know much about his world out there, but I'm going to say sex sells and sells a lot. If there are scandals, it's probably better. I've seen the tabloids, I know you're already running into issues, but don't let this blow up anymore because you're worried."
"Sometimes you're really great at calming me down."
"And others?"
"I hate talking to you and you making me see the light." Judith's mom laughed at that.
"I just know you, honey, I know how you are. What you're like. How your mind plays tricks on you that aren't there. Don't be stubborn on this just because you can. That won't do either one of you any good."
"Am I being irrational?"
"Not at all, honey. I think you're being cautious. You don't give yourself enough credit, you never have. You don't see what a gem you are. So, of course, you question what Angel could be feeling, but you don't need to. I'm going to go out on a limb and say this man really does like you, and really does value you. A lot more than you value yourself. And from the pictures I'm seeing, you two look very happy. Happier than I've seen you in a long time."
"Thanks, Mom."
"You don't need to thank me, Judith. I'm your mom, I love you, and I only want what's best for you. But sometimes, it takes a mother's love to knock the shit out of that mind of yours." Judith laughed as she swiped at her wet cheek. "Now, enough about that. Tell me, is he good in bed?"
"Oh my God, Mom, I am not having this conversation with you. Not now, not ever."
"What? I can be like one of your girlfriends." Judith laughed as she sat up.
"I'm hanging up this phone now," she told her, putting the phone on speaker.
"You wouldn't dare hang up on your mom."
"Just try me," Judith teased, turning her back to the windows and sitting cross-legged. She was feeling better after talking to her mom. But she also knew that Angel would be up shortly to talk to her.
"Fine, last question, then I got to go to start dinner. Please tell me that you and Angel will be out shortly. You know your dad's birthday is coming up soon."
"We won't miss it, promise we'll bethere," Angel answered, lifting a brow at Judith.