^ THE FIC IS CALLED 'Little Lily of the Valley' BY LaLuneLover ON AO3 PLEASE READ IT ITS SO GOOD☹️☹️
so this is a roti chapter because they deserve more attention and im not gonna be able to stop thinking about them for at least a week now
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Brick, visiting the squad: hello, I just came to-
Brick: *sees Jo shoving Anne Maria into the washing machine while Dakota records and Zoey watches*
Brick, retreating: something suddenly came up.
★
Lightning: sha-hey dudes!
Everyone:
Lightning: you might be wondering why I'm taped to the sha-ceiling
★
Jo: hi, I'm brick's emergency contact.
Counter Woman: great, you're here to pick him up?
Jo: i'm here to remove myself as his emergency contact.
★
Mike: how do you type so fast?
Zoey: anxiety.
★
*sam and dakota texting*
Dakota: who are you? someone changed the names in my phone.
Sam: what did they change my name to?
Dakota: the chosen one.
Sam: don't change it back.
Dakota: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?!
Sam: i'm the chosen one.
★
*the gang learning CPR on a test dummy*
Dawn: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?
Brick: No, dawn. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.
Dawn: No, that's not part of it-
Brick: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?
Sam: I would want to live with no legs.
Scott: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Sam. You don't do anything.
Dawn: All right, well, lets get back to it, you're losing him.
Brick: *pumps frantically*
Dawn: Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.
Brick: Okay, that's uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?
Scott: How's that gonna help you?
Brick: I will divide and then count to it.
Scott: Right.
Dawn: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of 'Staying Alive' by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?
Brick: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* first i was afraid, i was petrified-
★
Anne Maria: i love you.
Vito: me too.
★
Mike: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
Scott: An apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
★
Zoey: man, they sound like a real handful. how do you deal with them?
Mike, hearing Svetlana screaming, Mal trying to set a sleeping Manitoba on fire, and Chester choking on air: i don't know either.
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i heart them