Bethany's POV
I scrolled through article after article, groaning as I saw what was the headline of each one.
"Harry Styles shows up at ex-girlfriends old lover's party?"
"Have Chace and Harry become close after their woman dumped both of them?"
"Is there a feud going on between Harry and Chace?"
I was literally rolling my eyes at myself. Why would Harry show up at his party? Of all places, would he really expect me to go there? Would he really expect that low of me as to show up at the person who practically stabbed me in the back for six months straight? I wasn't Harry. I didn't want to go back to someone who made me feel like shit.
There were pictures of him at the bar. They seemed to be in some sort of dispute, arguing and waving hands around. Both had angry looks on their faces, showing some sort of distress. They had pictures of Harry posing with people, smiling at the camera with a fake grin.
I could tell how tired he looked. His face was breaking out, showing me he was stressed. His eyelids were droopy, showing me he was tired. His eyes held dark circles and bags underneath them, showing me he hadn't slept in days. His hair was a mess, his smile was fake as hell and worst of all, there was absolutely not light or life in his eyes. All you could see was pain.
It broke my fucking heart.
I had to keep telling myself it was him. I had to keep telling myself that this was his fault. He deserved to feel and look the way he does. He deserved the stress and the pain. He caused so much for me, he deserved three times as much.
I had let him get off free, when I could have had him arrested and gone bankrupt. I could have ruined his fucking band and ruined everyone's life who had done what they had to me, but instead I let it go. I let all of the go without a consequence. I was somewhat happy to see him suffering. It showed me he was at least getting some sort of payback for everything he did.
But seeing him like this also broke my fucking heart. I hated to see him look anything but happy. He was becoming such a good guy. He was being nice to people, using his manners, and not acting like a psychotic diva-popstar. He was becoming the person he used to be- the one who made his mom happy, the one she was telling me she had missed.
I was helping him become a better person and whether he liked it or not, I was. I didn't want to sit back and watch him spiral out of control, but I was terrified I'd be there reason he did that. I was scared he'd become the same person he was a month and a half ago when I first met him. I didn't want that to be the way things were, and I was praying so hard that it didn't happen.
Harry didn't need back lash. If he loves me the way he says he does, he'll fight for me. I just need to be patient. I don't know why he went out with Julia again, but there was a part of me hoping it was because he told her off. There was a part of me, hoping he was telling her he was going to fight for me.
Maybe leaving so quickly was bad. Ruining all the plans Leighton had made wasn't good, I knew that. Leaving Paris without saying goodbye to Peter wasn't polite either. He hadn't even realized I'd left till he went to the hotel the next morning to pick me up, and I wasn't there. I was a bitch. I was a crazy, stupid bitch for doing that to him.
What was worse was the fact that he texted me, telling me he hoped it was because Harry wanted to get back together. I never responded.
I couldn't. I felt like he was one of those people that was too good for you. He was too nice to me. He was too sweet to me. I couldn't even explain to someone how kind of a man Peter was because it was indescribable. He was the definition of a perfect gentleman, and it sucked that I had no feelings towards him at all.
I didn't know if I should go to that party down the street. I didn't know if I should arrive unannounced and try to decide if I wanted Harry back in such a random place. Perhaps I should wait till he goes back to LA, but the only problem with that was that he'd be recording for the new album 24/7. There would be no time to talk to him. He'd be leaving on tour in less than three weeks. Then, I wouldn't see him for possibly 3 months. I don't know if I could go that long and wait to speak to him.
I had to decide if I wanted him back and I knew I needed to decide soon. I knew where he was staying... the Hilton. I knew if I changed my mind he'd be there in his hotel room. I knew if I needed a few hours to think about what was going on, I could.
I had so much to think about and I just didn't know where to even begin.
He had done so much shit to me. He had lied to me, had sex with me while we were in a relationship that wasn't even real, forged my signature on a binding contract with a management team that posted extremely personal photos of me, kept the fact that his sister was the one who ruined my relationship with Chace a secret, and worst of all, he cheated on me with a girl who broke his heart.
He was also one of the best things that had ever happened to me if any of what we had was actually real. He taught me how to live my life, the way I wanted to live it. He taught me how to express myself and how to be myself without caring what others thought. He taught me to stop giving fucks about what the business world thought of me. I was richer than any of those mother fuckers, and they were jealous as shit of my life. They wanted something they could never have... my company.
He taught me to let loose and be a 20 year old girl. I went clubbing and got drunk. I went to a fucking One Direction concert... something I never thought I'd do. I flew and shot a music video in two of my favorite cities in the world. I got in more emotional fights than I could count. But that was the thing... those emotional fights led me to freedom of my mind. They let me clear my head... let me get things off my chest.
Everything was so balanced. There was just as much good as there was bad. He made me just as happy as he made me sad, mad and upset. It was ridiculous.
Maybe things were meant to be and, hell maybe they weren't. All I know is that I needed to find him, and I needed to talk to him ASAP. I needed to hear him out before I made a decision. I needed to figure out what we were doing with each other, and if all this was really worth it.
I hopped off couch, grabbing a sweatshirt and a pair of UGGs from my closet. I ran to the hall closet, grabbing my winter coat and a hat. It was going to be crowded as hell, seeing as there were only 45 minutes until the ball dropped.
I swung the door open, and when I tried to run out the door with my face towards the ground, I smacked right into the person I wanted to see.
I swallowed hard, letting out a breathless, "Harry?"
********************************************************
Harry's POV
"Gemma?" The name fell from my lips in utter confusion.
"Harry..." She sounded reserved, almost worried as well. She looked just like Bethany from the back, but maybe it was just the amount of alcohol I had consumed prior to this moment.
"I-I- What are you doing here?" She asks quickly.
"I could ask you the same thing."
"I think we should take this some place more quiet.... and private." Chace's words interrupt my sister and I's little battle. I realized he was right. There was quite the crowd staring at us, mumbling and pulling their phones out.
We followed him to a hallway secluded from the rest of the crowd. It was behind the coatcheck which he had temporarily closed off.
I couldn't stop staring at my sister, trying to figure out how the hell I had confused her with Bethany. Their hair colors weren't similar at all, but perhaps it was the lighting on the dance floor that gave me the illusion that it was. The dress was similar to something Bethany would wear to an event like this- a tight dress, with a large cut out in the back, covered in sparkles. It was odd seeing my own sister in something so revealing, but I had to remember she was older than me, and a grown woman.
"So what are you doing here Gemma?" I ask, and suddenly I hear Chace's voice cut in as well.
"Yeah, I didn't invite you, not to sound like an arse. I'm fine with you being here, but I don't even know how you managed to get in." His eyebrows were furrowed just as much as mine.
"Bethany gave me the invitation you sent her in that letter."
"Did everyone fucking read that letter I sent her?" He groans in annoyance.
"No, no. I wouldn't do that. I figured I had caused enough damage between you two." She sounds so quiet and let down. She was nervous, and I wasn't used to it. Gemma never acted this way.
"How'd she give you the invitation? She didn't even know until two days before Christmas and she was gone." I lean back against the wall, crossing my arms over my chest. I was trying to keep myself awake. I was practically the walking dead at this point.
"The phone call we had Harry... She told me Chace would be here, and that if I wanted to talk to him, this is where I should go. I never thought you'd come to this, or I wouldn't have shown up." She sounds defensive at the end, and I close my eyes in frustration.
"So she's not coming tonight." My voice cracks and my stomach drops. All this waiting for fucking nothing. I don't even know where she's staying.
"I told you man, she hates me. She's not going to come back to me after what she had with you." Chace pats my shoulder, and it feels weird to have him comforting me. He really did know what I was going through.
I sigh in defeat. Well this is just great. I didn't even know where to go from here. Did I try to find where she was staying again? That seemed like such an impossible task. There hasn't been a single sighting of her since she arrived.
"She's probably at her penthouse down the street if you want to talk to her still." My eyes snap over to Chace. He shrugs his shoulders, offering me a look of sympathy.
"Why are you helping me?"
"Because I know what you're going through, and I had my chance to fight for her. You still do..."
"Go Harry. Fight for her." Gemma encourages. "I'll even come with you and wait in the lobby."
"No." Chace cuts in. "You came here to talk to me, and honestly, seeing you again is probably the best thing that's happened to me. I fell out of love with a girl of two years because of you... I think there's still a reason and I didn't want to let go of familiarity. So please, stay. We need to talk."
"Can you give me the address before you guys start that talk, mate." I say awkwardly, cutting in on my sisters weird romance moment. I wanted to throw up at the sight. Ew.
He tells me directions, and I push my way through the coat racks and out of the room. The elevator ride was impeccably slow. I had to stop at 18 different floors of the 60 floor building. Then, I had to push through people blocking the streets, making my way through the crowds of thousands. 11:10 at night, on New Years Eve, and I was pushing through people to tell a girl I was madly in love with her. Who would have thought, me, of all people, would be doing this right now.
When I get to her building, the doorman surprisingly lets me, in. First he asks me for an autograph for his granddaughter which I happily oblige to. He told me Bethany hadn't left the building yet, so I knew I was in the clear to take as much time as I needed to get up to the penthouse.
When I got there, I lifted my hand to knock, completely surprised when I saw the door in front of me swing open, and the love of my life crashing into my chest.
I stopped her from falling, crouching down, to settle her in place with my hands on her hips. Her face was just centimeters from mine and I could smell the mint on her breath. She was staring at me with wide eyes and furrowed brows.
"Harry?" She breathed out, the warm air fanning over my face.
"S'me." I swallow hard, trying to get rid of the cracking noise at the back of my throat. Shit, Styles. Don't cry already.
I took one look at her face, and almost broke down into tears. Those pictures online didn't show any of what she looked like in real life. Her eyes were gloomy, and swollen. Had I really made her cry that much? Her face was pale and her hair a mess on top of her head. She was still so fucking beautiful to me. She just looked so unhappy and so distressed. I hated that I was the one who did this to her.
"Baby..." I cried out, watching a tear slip from her eye.
"Please don't call me that." She whimpers, biting her lip.
"I'm, I'm sorry." I stutter, letting go of her. Her body doesn't seem to be able to support herself, because as soon as I let go of her, she practically crumbles down into a ball on the floor. I stop her, holding her to my chest to support her.
I lift her up bridal style, surprisingly having the strength to do so. I felt like I could do anything as long as it was for her. When I got inside the living room after kicking the door shut, I took a seat on the couch, letting her curl into a ball on my lap.
Her tears streamed down her face as she sobbed uncontrollably, shaking in my arms over and over again. I was crying as well, but I told myself not to get as bad as her. I needed to be her wall. I needed to be the one who held her together. I felt her tears soaking through my shirt, and running down my chest that was uncovered by any sort of fabric. I couldn't even look down at her, knowing it'd be like ripping my heart out and stabbing it over and over again.
"Why did you do this to me? Why did you have to hurt me so much?" She questions, her eyes lifting up towards mine.
I opened my mouth to speak but nothing would come out. All I could stare at was the deadness in her eyes, and the pain written across her face. She gripped onto my t-shirt even more tightly as another sob went through her body, making her shake and her face contort up with more pain. I could hardly look at her.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry." I shook my head, letting the tears run down my cheeks freely.
"Why'd you do it? Why did you have to put me through this!?" She was yelling, and I couldn't get anything to come out of my mouth.
"I haven't been able to think about anything else except what I've done to deserve all this shit in my life. You were suppose to be the one good thing I had. You were suppose to be my light at the end of a dark tunnel, Harry."
Every word out of her mouth breaks my heart. I don't even know what to say.
"You told me you loved me... and I was stupid enough to fucking believe you." Her voice cracks again and again. Small hiccups break up her words.
"That was never a lie." I shake my head, trying to tell her how I felt. "I still fucking loved you. My love for you was always real."
"Then why didn't you tell me? Why couldn't you have told me this?" She grips my head between her hands, the palms holding my cheeks tightly.
"I-I never thought it'd get the way it did between us." I tell her truthfully. "I used to be an asshole, Bethany. That's all I can say." My stomach churns as I say it out loud.
"So you were just going to use me like that and then one day just leave me? You would do that to me?"
"That was the plan." I look down in shame, her hands falling from my face quickly. She began letting her eyes water again. My heart was actually throbbing. It felt like I was having a heart attack.
"I trusted you so much." She whispers. "You told me I could trust you."
"I didn't know everything was going to turn out the way it did. I never thought I was actually going to fall in love with you. I meant it when I said it. I meant it when I said it, I really honestly did." I repeat myself when I tell her I meant that I loved her. I wanted her to get the point.
"I wouldn't have sex with you if I didn't feel that way." She scoffs at my statement, rolling her eyes at me.
"I'm serious." I tell her. "I promised myself that I'd go without having sex with you because I knew using you was bad enough. The relationship was only suppose to last a month and a half. I thought I could have made it..." I know I was being blatantly honest, but I couldn't help it. She needed to know the truth.
"Prove to me that you love me Harry." She says boldly, taking me by surprise.
"Wha-what?"
"Tell me why you love me." She demands again.
I grab her face in my hands, after making her twist so she was straddling my lap. I made her look me directly in the eyes before leaning in and pressing my lips to hers. I felt sparks explode in my stomach, like fireworks had taken over my entire body. When I pulled away, we both were gasping for air.
"I love you, because I get that feeling in my stomach every time I do as much as touch you. I love you because you're so confident. I love you because you don't give a shit about what anyone does or says to or about you. I love you because you're independent and carefree. I love you because you make me a better person. I want to be a better person with you. I want to do anything to be with you, no matter what it is. I want to be with you. I want to show you how much I love you, every second of every minute, of every hour, of every day. I love you so damn much... I'm so sorry for everything I put you through. I want to be with you. I'll do anything to make you mine again."
Her eyes pour out tears as I continue my confessions. I continue to wipe each one away, waiting for her to say something. She just stares at me, watching me carefully.
"Why did you do what you did to me? Me of all the women out there? Why me?"
"You-you were an easy target. I-I was a dick Bethany. I never thought hurting you would hurt me this bad."
"You're such an asshole." She comments and I nod my head.
"I know."
"I don't know if I could be with you." I swear I feel my heart break into three hundred thousand pieces, each one stabbing at my chest.
"Beth, you don't mean that." I try to tell her, but she shakes her head.
"You did so much to hurt me. You did so much for yourself. You only care about yourself." She whimpers.
"You're making me change."
"Prove it. I want to see it for myself. I want to see you changing. I don't want this anymore Harry. I don't want to wake up every morning with tears running down my face. I don't want to wake up every morning feeling like I've been shot in the chest. I want to be happy again. I was starting to be happy again when I was with you."
"Then be with me again. I'll make you happy again. I will. I'll do anything to make you happy." I brush a fallen piece of hair out of her face behind her ear. I was trying to comfort her in anyway I could. Though, I looked ridiculous. I already had my own mess of tears running down my face.
"I can't Harry. I'm never going to know if what we had was real or not. I'm never going to know if you'd been lying to me." She shakes her head at me. I wanted to stop her but I couldn't.
"Give me another chance... I'll prove it to you." I beg.
"I-I..." she stutters, but doesn't finish her sentence. I decide to answer for her.
"It doesn't matter. I'll continue to show you how much I love you until you decide to give me another chance. I'll do anything to be with you again."
AN: Alright, well this was actually one of the most emotional chapters I've ever had... Like, I'm actually really proud of it. Like, I think it's one of the best chapters I've written as well. I hope you guys like it, and I hope you guys are ready for some more emotion filled chapters.
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