'I hate Ravenclaws sometimes,' Flo groaned as she and Shiv made their way past a handful of their classmates who were gathered outside of the Great Hall. They were all talking in quick, hushed voices, discussing their last exam that had just ended. It was very much a habit of the people in their house to endlessly go over tests and discuss the answers amongst each other.
They left towards the courtyard to smoke some cigarettes and celebrate that their months of hard work had finally come to an end. There were three more weeks left before summer break, but those would probably be fairly easy going.
Instead of sitting down on a ledge, they walked down to the black lake. The weather was gorgeous; a soft warm wind was blowing, and the trees had reached their fullest green state, casting long shadows upon the tall grass. Shiv stopped to pluck a dandelion and played with it until they found a shady spot under a tree.
'You're going to your house by the coast for the summer, right?' Shiv said as she tossed the flower away and got her pack of cigarettes out of her bag.
Flo nodded and placed her lunch box in between them, taking off the lid to reveal a couple of sandwiches. She took one out and sighed. 'It will be fun, but I'll miss you so much.'
Shiv rested her head onto her friends shoulder and patted her knee. 'I will miss you as well, but we're back before we know it.' The words came out a little more hopeful than she actually felt.
They both fell silent, noticing a boy break free from a group nearby. He strolled towards the two of them lazily, and Shiv tried to make out who it was. He was tall, almost just as if not taller than Tom, which was hard, and wore long black trousers and a black dress shirt, despite the heat. Shiv thought he looked like he had just come back from a funeral. When he came closer, she recognized him as Alexander Nott, a 7th year slytherin who had been there at Tom's Death Eater meeting. His black curly hair fell to his shoulders, and he had a slightly pointed, haughty face. He reminded her a little of a vampire.
He stopped in front of them and gave both girls a sleek smile. 'Glad exams are over?'
Flo, obviously very confused, opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again and looked over at Siobhan (not that she knew much more). Shiv looked up at the guy and tilted her head. 'We are. Can we help you with something?'
Alexander chuckled. 'Forgive me, I couldn't help but notice you the other day during our groups little.. get together. I don't think I've formally introduced myself. I'm Alexander Nott,' he spoke politely, and he stuck out his hand to her.
Shiv looked around instinctively, her eyes scanning for Tom. Was this just a big test he had set up? Or was this another innocent guy that would be punished for shooting his shot.
She shook his hand slowly, glancing sideways at Flo for a split second before replying. 'Siobhan Selwyn.'
His gray eyes looked at her intently, and he folded his hands behind his back. If things were different, she probably would've been quite attracted to him. Tall, a little on the thin side, sharp features, and dark hair. It was a flattering idea that he seemed interested in her. He was a few grades above her, and she had heard his name being passed in whispers between girls in the hallways around valentinesday every year. Besides that, she had never paid much attention to him .
'Siobhan, I wanted to ask if you'd like to accompany me on a walk this weekend?' He asked with that same slick smile.
That wasn't a good idea. She also didn't particularly want to.
By this time, she knew better than to go behind Tom's back in anything, especially when it involved another boy. This seemed like a good opportunity to let that work in her favor.
'I'm afraid I can't. I'm seeing someone, and I know he wouldn't appreciate it,' she gave him a small, vague smile.
He looked taken aback. He cleared his throat and looked around quickly. As casual as he managed, he asked, 'Who?'
Shiv just shrugged and took a bite of a sandwich. Alexander waited another few awfully long seconds before he mumbled a goodbye and strode off again. She bit back a grin as she watched him disappear. Would a rumor spread? Tom would be left with a choice that way. It would be interesting to see that play out.
'Well..' Flo smirked when he was out of ear shot. Then she turned to face Shiv, eyebrows raised. 'You're seeing someone?'
'Tom once said I was off limits for everyone else,' she shrugged. 'His own words. He can live by them if he wants.'
-
Shivs footsteps bounced off the walls and echoed behind her as she walked through the dark dungeon hallways. She had to speak with Professor Slughorn before dinner, and secure herself a spot in his extracurricular class for next year. She was pretty sure she did very well on her O.W.L. earlier that day, but it never hurt to do a little extra flattering, especially with a teacher so gullible for things like that. Her hand was tightly holding a box of crystallized pineapple.
When she reached the door to Slughorns classroom, the door was slightly ajar. She frowned, then heard muffled voices from the other side of the wall. Standing there, only a few feet away, she couldn't help but stand still and listen in.
Slughorns voice. He sounded a little nervous. 'Of course, this is all hypothetical, what we're discussing, isn't it? Purely academical?'
'Yes, of course, sir.' It was Tom. His voice was charming and polite. She could almost hear the smile that hung around his lips in moments like these.
'But all the same, Tom- keep it quiet, what I've told you. People wouldn't like to think we've been chatting about horcruxes. It's a banned subject here at Hogwarts, you know. Dumbledore is particularly fierce about it,' Slughorn muttered, sounding troubled.
Shiv felt the blood drain from her face. What the fuck had Tom told Slughorn. Why was he trusting that bumbling idiot with information this sensitive?
'I won't say a word, sir,' she heard Tom's muffled reply.
Footsteps were making their way towards the door now. She spun on her heel and ran to hide behind an old beaten looking statue of a grindylow a few steps away, biting the inside of her cheek so hard that it drew blood. Somewhere behind her, a soft click let her know Tom had left and closed the door behind him.
Shiv let out a shaky breath and leaned the back of her head against the stone creature behind her. Wrong move.
A piece of its face, as large as an apple, broke off and fell onto the ground. No. No no no no-
'Who's there?' She heard Tom's cold voice.
There was no way he wouldn't find her. Slowly, she stepped away from behind the statue, hands up in an almost sarcasticly defensive way.
He looked her up and down, eyes trailing around the edge of her skirt for a second before he met hers again.
'What are you doing here?'
Shiv lowered her hands and walked up to him slowly. 'I came to drop these off,' she said, holding up the box of pineapple. 'You left the door open. I only heard you two saying goodbye.'
He narrowed his eyes a little, looking unconvinced. 'Nothing more?'
It took a few seconds for her to decide what she was going to say. Then, she put her hands on her hips and sighed deeply in defeat. 'Slughorn? Really? How much did you tell him Tom?'
Tom's expression remained unfazed. He shrugged and said, 'I needed some more information I couldn't find anywhere. Books in the restricted section are starting to disappear, if you ask me, it is..'
'..Dumbledore's doing.' She finished his sentence. He looked at her, a hint of a small smile on his lips.
'Maybe some of the books left should.. disappear before they get thrown away. You know, to prevent waste,' she added, swaying back and forth on her heels a little.
Tom chuckled. 'I was thinking the same thing.'
Silence fell between them. Shivs hands slid off her hips, and now both held the box of sweets in a slightly awkward way. The inside of her cheek was starting to become raw after all those times she bit it.
When she looked up at him, his expression seemed to have changed a little. He looked conflicted, more than she had ever seen him do before. His eyebrows were lowered into a faint frown, and his eyes radiated something that could best be described as sadness, something she hadn't seen on him before, yet it's cause was a complete mystery to her. She wondered what was going on behind those dark hazel orbs.
When the silence stretched too long, Shiv spoke up with a quiet voice.
'What happened, Tom? We were working together so well, and now it's all just- just so fucked,' she sighed, her heartbeat pounding in her chest.
Tom's expression remained set in stone, but one of his hands moved up to his face and rubbed his chin and jaw, almost making him look a tad bit nervous. He shrugged.
'Siobhan,' he started, but he fell silent after that.
This seemed to light some sort of small fire inside of her. Frustration at his vagueness overtook her, and she felt her nails dig into the paper wrapping of the pineapple. She tilted her head, examining his behavior.
'What? Spit it out, will you.'
Tom raised his brows at her, surprised by her attitude. Then he raked his hand through his hair and stared off in the distance, eyes focused on some vague point on the wall behind her. It was unlike him to avoid eye contact.
'Siobhan, you know I could never,' he started, groaning in frustration at his lack of control over his own words. 'We could never - It wouldn't be..' he drifted off again.
Her heart skipped a beat. They were talking about it. It was incredibly awkward, and she wished she could fast forward time, but it was actually, finally, happening.
'Alexander Nott asked me out during lunch,' she interrupted him.
It was a low blow, she knew that. A desperate attempt to unsteady him.
His reaction was exactly what she had hoped for. His muscles tensed, his jaw locked.
'Nott?' He finally said in disbelief, and he almost snorted afterward, shaking his head. His repulsion was more than clear. It was oddly attractive.
'I said no,' Shiv replied, her voice softening. 'I said no, and that I'm seeing someone.'
Tom looked at her, stoic. 'You are?'
'Am I?' She fired back, crossing her arms, refusing to break eye contact now.
'You would hate being with me,' he said in a montone way. It didn't sound like a warning, more like an indisputable statement.
Siobhan thought about that for a moment. Was she asking for more than was wise? Merlin, when she came down here, she didn't know she would be asking for anything at all.
A relationship. Was that really what they were talking about right now? It felt kind of surreal.
She had made the same pros and cons list in her head many times about this particular topic.
He was powerful, influential, incredibly attractive, and intelligent. He was also cruel, unforgiving, and the epitome of a narcissist. She would always be second, never first priority if she were to be with him.
'I know,' Shiv said eventually, refusing the urge to laugh. 'But it would piss my dad off so much.'
Tom's lips parted and fell into a small grin. 'Are you using me, Siobhan?'
She stepped towards him, closing the space between them. The parallels between this moment and the one they had together almost 24 hours ago were unnerving. It felt good to be on the other side, though.
'Maybe,' she said with a faint smile. Instinctively, or maybe out of her own free will, she lifted her hand to place it on his chest. She stopped halfway through, balling her fingers into a fist and forcing it down again, where it swung at her hip awkwardly.
'That, and there'll be a lot more people like Alexander, and you don't seem to enjoy that, do you?' She added in an attempt to distract herself from the discomfort of the moment.
They would never be a normal couple. She doubted they would ever even refer to themselves as that at all. No, there would be no movie dates or honeymoon phase. Jealousy, manipulation, arguments, and screaming matches would probably be more realistic.
Then, Tom sighed with a great deal of resolution, as if he had made up his mind about something. 'Well, if anyone, it would be you.'
Why did that make her blush? It was literally the bare minimum for him to say. Maybe because she knew, coming from Tom, how much it meant. If anyone. He had never even planned to tie himself to a girl.
Maybe he still didn't. Shiv didn't put it past him to have planned all of this out as well. As long as she could still gain from it herself, it was okay. It was worth it just for the look on Dorians face when she would walk up to Tom this summer in France and give him a kiss. Oh, he would be so mad. And there would be nothing he could do.
'Safe yourself the trouble,' Tom said as he nodded down to the pineapple. 'I gave him the exact same box 15 minutes ago.'
Shiv sighed. 'Teachers' pet,' she mumbled.
-
When she made her way back up to Ravenclaw tower, she couldn't help but feel a smile on her lips. She was filled with an innocent, almost childlike sense of excitement. She was someone's girlfriend. Or so she thought. Shiv allowed herself to believe that, and nothing else, for those few minutes it took for her to climb up the stairs. Images of an unrealistically esthetically pleasing, lovely summer in France drifted through her mind. Sunsets, kisses.
The door to the common room appeared at the end of the hall. She had to snap herself out of it. It was all just that; unrealistic. It would only hurt her later on when he showed her his true colors again. But he had seemed so genuine. He had shown himself vulnerable by admitting his own fears about them becoming a couple. He had been reluctant, but so had she.
There wasn't a clear answer after all, but there had been a feeling of clearity in the air when they parted. She was, indeed, seeing someone; Tom Riddle.
The riddle at the door, just like the one of flesh and blood, was unnecessarily confusing, and it took her a good minute to figure it out and get in.
The common room was fairly empty. It was still early in the evening. Dinner in the great hall had only ended thirty minutes ago, and most students hung out with friends for a while after that.
Earlier that day, Flo had told her she was looking forward to everyone leaving so she could take a long bath. The girls were comfortable enough around each other to be in the same bathroom when one of them was using it. Many nights were spent with one of them in the tub and the other on the closed toilet seat, talking.
Shiv didn't even notice she was taking the stairs two steps at a time whilst she rushed up to her dormitory. She needed to talk to Florance about this whole situation. She swung the door open, and stopped dead in her tracks.
Flo was on the desk chair, facing the door. Her face was buried in someone's neck, her long blonde hair covering most of the person she seemed to be straddling. With a horrible sinking feeling, Shiv noticed the tan skin and buzz cut of the boy. Anthony. Only a second later, she realized Flo's body was moving up and down, and Shiv let out a yelp.
Flo shot up, her hair covering her face clumsily. She climbed off of Anthony's lap with the speed of a cat confronted with water, and stared over at her friend.
'Florance!' Shiv groaned. 'We share that fucking desk!'
Anthony had gotten up too, now hastily closing the buttons of his trousers. 'Oh- hey, Siobhan. Hem, what a situation-'
'Spare me the details Lestrange,' Shiv sighed, and she pushed the door open further as a clear indication for him to see his way out. He scrambled to get his things and hurried away, throwing Florance an apologetic smile before he disappeared.
Flo remained where she stood, cheeks bright red as if she had just gotten caught by her mom. Shiv softened and walked over to her, pushing her hair out of her face.
'Seems like we both made questionable decisions today, hm?' She said with a sad grin, and she wrapped her arms around Flo.
○
I notice that writing three full and actually well planned chapters a week is a little too much, and it doesn't allow me to deliver the quality that I want.
So for the next week's, I'll be uploading two times a week.
Also, and I'm gonna be a little open and maybe tmi down here, but in 3 weeks, I'll be checking into rehab (by my own choice). I'll be staying for at least 8 weeks and I have no idea how much time if any ill be able to spent writing. There's a chance I won't feel up for it for a while, so I wanted to let you know.
I'll probably delete this last bit in a few weeks, just so it doesn't stay with the book (and the internet) forever. This story has helped me through so much. I'm glad you guys enjoy as much as I do. (This is also a thank you for hitting 20k!)
Anyways,
Love,
Also? This fanart of Tom? Wow?