Christmas was Brea's favorite time of year. The music, the decorating, the holiday movies and most of all, the gift shopping. Unfortunately for her, things have been dampering her usual festive mood. The past few nights, she's been plagued with nightmares, seeing a familar pair of red eyes circling around her. Many times, she's woken up out her sleep, sweating profusely and out of breath, but the lingering stare of those eyes still surround her.
Although the restless nights have been dimming her light, Brea tried not to let it hinder the holiday mood. Currently, she sat in the living room watching Joe and Barry slowly but surely decorate the tree. "Barry, could you please...?" Brea asked gesturing to the almost naked tree.
"Don't you do it." Joe warned. Barry smirked at him and in the blink of eye, the tree was fully decorated. "Okay, the only red suited dude I want in this house right now is Kris Kringle, you got it?" Joe said to his kids. Within another blink, the tree was back to its original state. Thankfully Barry had already relaxed back in his seat because Iris walked into the room just seconds after he used his power. Brea still feels bad for keeping her sister out of the loop, especially since she's been advancing her journalist career by writing about The Flash. She knows Iris would go even further if she had first hand knowledge from the team instead of the small tidbits the city witnesses, but it's for the best.
"Uh, these ornaments aren't gonna hang themselves." Iris points to the tree with a tray of mugs in her other hand. "Grandma Esther's recipe. Light on the bourbon."
Brea gladly grabbed a cup of eggnog and took a genrous sip, feeling the bourbon burn boost her energy. "By light, she meant the whole bottle. Cheers to Grandma Esther." She raised her glass and took another sip. Joe had been called to the station, leaving the best friends home alone. Brea sat quietly on the couch while watching Iris drag Barry to the ground. Like the youngest sister, Iris loved gift giving. The three of them started the tradition of trading one gift before Christmas day after Iris couldn't keep her excitement down one year.
"My mother's wedding band?" Iris asked, causing Brea to tune back into reality.
"A replica, yeah. You were devastated when you lost the real one." Barry said. "Our fifth grade field trip to the zoo. You cried for weeks." Brea watched as Barry laid the necklace around Iris' neck and couldn't help but feel sadness. All these years of watching Barry fall hopelessly in love with her sister, one would think Brea's feelings for Barry would falter, but the gentleness he displays and the kindness he shares reels her back in every time. She's been content with him in her life as a friend, a best friend, but the longing for a life of more with him still sits in the back of her mind.
"Brea." Iris calls out. "Did you hear me? It's your turn." Iris says excitedly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, I'm not ready to exchange gifts right now. Maybe later." Brea said.
Iris opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a knock at the door. As she was distracted by Eddie's arrival, Barry took the time to study his friend. "Okay, what's going on? You've been withdrawn these past couple of days."
"Nothing. Just saving my energy for Christmas Eve." She brushed off.
"Saving your energy? B, you would've had this tree decorated Thanksgiving night and this time around, wrapping paper would be sprawled out across this living with Christmas movies playing non stop. I haven't even seen you touch a bow, let alone wrap anything. What's really going on?" Barry inquired.
With a sigh, Brea said. "I haven't been getting much sleep. With everything that's been going on in our lives, my mind has been preoccupied. I promise I'm okay, though. Let's get to the lab. I have presents for the team I want to hand out." She knocked back the rest of her eggnog before quickly leaving the room to get ready. Barry didn't believe a word she said, but knew it was best to leave her be until she was ready to be truthful.
~
It wasn't long before trouble began stirring in Central City this season. A break in and homicide at Mercury Labs drew S.T.A.R Labs' attention. Chills ran down Joe, Barry, and Brea's spine when they learned that the witness, a doctor at Mercury, saw a blur. More specifically, a man in a yellow suit. Joe knew about the man being back for some time, getting paid a visit a few weeks back. He only kept his mouth shut about it was because the yellow man threatened the lives of his daughters.
After catching everyone up and making a plan to catch the yellow speedster, night soon feel. Barry sat in his lab at the station looking over the crime scenes photos and newspaper clippings regarding his mother's murder. Glimpses from that night flashed through his head, from the moment he was tucked into bed to the minute he was woken up by the sound of disaster in the living room. The face of terror Nora held on her face as red and yellow streaks surrounded her.
"Hey, Barry." Brea called out from the doorway. She walked up next to him and studied the board. "Haven't seen this in awhile."
"I used to study this board every day. Lately I haven't looked at it as much as I should have." Barry said. From the moment they knew the man was back, Brea knew how hard this would affect Barry. She's kept away, giving him space to process everything while also finding answers to her own internal battles. The ongoing nightmares were ones she had when she was younger and somehow she knew that they were connected to his reappearance.
"We're going to catch him, Bar." Brea assured him. "There's a reason he came back and now that we know what he is, we can better prepare." She placed a hand over his. Despite the solemn atmosphere, warmth filled the room. There was a slight shift in Barry's outlook on Brea as he once again felt that spark the minute her hand touched his, but he couldn't place what caused the shift or what it meant. Meanwhile, Brea's fondness for the boy grew three times its size. As she looked at him, all she wished was to take away the painful memories with a simple kiss to the lips. She almost had the urge to confess it right then and there, but the one he truly loves entered the room. "I'm gonna get going. See you later, Barry."
~
Brea stands alone in the vortex back at S.T.A.R Labs. Her mind is screaming to leave, but her body isn't budging. She remembers coming down here with Cisco. Cisco? Where is he? Her eyes moves frantically across the room as she searches for him, but it appears she's completely alone. "Where's Cisco?" She thought.
Buzzing echoed the room as streaks of yellow crosses her peripheal. Blink once. Nothing. Blink again. Still nothing. After the third blink, he appeared. The beady red eyes stared into her soul so hard, she felt it dissecting her inside and out. The man in the yellow suit kept his face vibrating to conceal his identity.
His voice boomed across the room as he spoke. "You weren't apart of my plan, but I was intrigued. Your strength and determination deemed importance. Then I saw how you were with The Flash, and that showed me you were his weakness. I saw how he looked at you and knew right there, you were my ticket to get what I want."
Swiftly, his left hand wrapped around Brea's throat and lifted her off the ground. She tried clawing the hand away, but it felt like she moving in slow motion, unable to fight back. "Killing Barry's mother made him who he was, but imagine who he'd be when I kill his greatest love." Raising his right hand, she saw it vibrate. Distant voices can be heard calling her name, but she couldn't place who they were from. Quicker than she could count to one, his vibrating hand shoved into her chest. "Goodbye, Brea West-Allen."
"Brea, wake up. You're having a bad dream, wake up, B" Barry soothed. With a jolt, Brea sat up struggling to catch her breath. "Breathe with me, okay?" Pulling her close. Barry inhaled and exhaled slowly, feeling Brea's heart race. He noticed sweat cascaded her forehead and used to his speed to gather a wet cloth to dab her face. They sat in silence for a bit before she spoke up.
"I've been having this recurring nightmare. I used to have them as a kid, but this time it feels real. Like I'm reliving a memory until the very last moment." Brea breathes. She wanted to continue on about who was in the dream but she didn't want to burden Barry with that news. His connection with that man is more than enough to deal with. "Thank you for being here. Sorry if I woke you up." She chose to say instead.
"I'll always be here for you." He pulled her back to his chest and continued holding her until he could hear her breaths even out. Although she told him she hasn't been sleeping well, he never imagined this. He heard little whimpers as he travelled back to his room in the middle of the night. The sound leading him to Brea, he saw how the dream was plaguing her mind. She looked like she was in pain and the constant moving of her body let him know she was in distress. His sleepiness quickly disappeared the minute he entered her room.
Tucking her back in to bed and placing a kiss to her forehead, Barry slowly crept out of Brea's room. With one last glance, a sigh of relief released from his body. Peace now rested on her features. Barry hated seeing otherwise. Always, he thought.
~
Today was a new day. Brea felt renewed and refreshed, despite the beginning of her night. The nightmare still left her trembling and worried, but the way Barry held her afterwards made it better. Made her better. Something shifted between the two and she knew in her heart he felt it too. It was a feeling she couldn't ignore and today was the day she laid it all out on the table. Today was the day she was going to tell Barry she was in love with him.
To distract herself in the mean time, she decided to deliver more gifts to the team. Spotting Caitlin alone in her office. "Knock knock, Santa's helper is here with a gift for Dr. Caitlin Snow. " Brea announced.
"Wow, you seem to be in better spirits. May I ask what changed?" Caitlin laughed.
"I just have a really good feeling about tonight. Are you coming to our house for the Christmas party?"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world."
Brea noticed Caitlin's sad eyes. "What's wrong?"
"Cisco and I found Ronnie." Caitlin said. "I've seen him a couple of times before and had my suspicions, but I asked Cisco to help me find him so he could see that I wasn't making things up. But now that I know that my fiancé is alive, I don't know what to do."
"Well, I vote for bringing him back home by any means possible."
"It's not that simple. He's The Burning Man, the metahuman Iris wrote about. I don't want to bring him home if the only solution is to lock him away like all the other metas, but I don't know what else to do." Tears welled in the corners of her eyes, causing Brea to pull her into a hug."I always imagined seeing Ronnie again, but not like this."
"I'm sure it's overwhelming and a lot to process, but whenever you're ready to figure it out. I'll be right here with you. Every step of the way." Brea smiled.
Brea had one more stop to make before heading home to freshen up for the party. It had been some time since she visited Iron Heights, but the joyous season wouldn't have been complete if she didn't see Henry. The man's eye brightened as he saw his visitor and he quickly grabbed the phone. "Never thought I get a visit from Santa's helper." Henry chuckled, as he admired the Santa hat that covered her hair.
"Everyone deserves a bit of cheer this time of year." Brea laughed. "How are you doing?"
"Taking it day by day."
"I'm sure Barry will tell you soon, but there's been a break in the case and it won't be long until you're out of here."
Henry waved her off. "I told you guys a long time ago to let it go. What's happened happened and we can't change that. I want you guys, especially Barry, to start living your lives. I'll still be here even if it's behind a glass panel."
"But Mr. Allen, Henry, we have something. Something solid to prove your innocence. It will take some time, but I promise-" Brea gets cut off.
"I want you to promise me something else, please? Take care of Barry for me." Henry notices the look of confusion after the abrupt change in subject. "Don't think I haven't noticed. I see the way you look at my son. You had that same look since you two became friends. And yes I know, things are complicated with Iris and all, but I know for a fact you are what he needs. Whatever life throws at you guys, continue to stay by his side. Always."
Tears threatened to fall, but Brea quickly cleared them away. "I promise. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else." She smiled. They wrapped up their conversation and parted ways. Henry's ask gave her new boost of confidence for her confession and although she was still nervous, she knew it needed to be done. She quickly rushed home to shower and party prep while mentally hyping herself up. She heard Barry and Iris downstairs and started rushing down the stairs to grab Barry but slowed her steps when she heard him talk.
"When we were kids, I loved you before I even knew what the word 'love' meant. And then my mom died, and I had to go live with the girl I had a crush on." There was some shuffling before he spoke again. Brea peeked her head around the corner and noticed Barry and Iris moved to the couch.
"There were so many times when I wanted to tell you. Junior prom, when I went away to college, when I came back from college, nights that we stayed up talking, all the birthdays, all the Christmases, but I- I never did. I just kept it in. After I lost my mom and my dad, I was afraid that if you didn't feel the same way, I would lose you, too. Thats the irony. I was so scared of losing you that I did. I know I've had our whole lives to tell you this, and you're with Eddie now, and I know that, and I know my timing couldn't be any worse, But I just...I couldn't lie to you any more."
Brea didn't want to hear any more as she quickly tiptoed her way back up the stairs to her room with a broken heart. All this time, she thought things were changing. The spark she felt was only one sided and it was delusional for her to think otherwise. Barry would never be hers. His confession cemented that. She heard Barry leave, most likely heading back to the lab to catch the yellow speedster, but she didn't move an inch from her bed. Hours passed in a daze before she heard more voices fill the house. Before anyone noticed her missing presence, she quickly touched up her look and trotted downstairs. There she spotted Iris sitting in Eddie's lap and Barry staring at them from across the room. Cisco and Joe were sharing another cup of eggnog, talking silently, but Brea couldn't stop glancing at the two trading looks across the room at each other.
"Everything okay?" Caitlin asked, seeing what Brea was seeing.
With a sigh and a fake smile. "Everything's just fine."