Ruhi waited patiently as her mother lit the diya infront of his father's portrait. The flame flickered making it seem as a switch being on between the two worlds.
It was their morning ritual to talk with her father . And it definitely helped her feel connected to him. She relied upon this. No one could take this away from her. There was no fear of getting judged, getting abandoned. She didn't fear of getting scolded of getting cold shoulder. She didn't have to beg for love infront of him.
He was her Papa and there was no fear of sharing him he was only her.
"Chamgadad" Her mother started earning a chuckle from Ruhi " Your daughter is going to start her residency in City Hospital from this Monday. She didn't join in Birla Hospital she joined there on her merit." Arohi said proudly.
Ruhi showed off a bit pulling her shirt's collar causing Arohi to smack her playfully. " She is 28 years old yet she is so childish I don't know what to do with her "
Ruhi tuned out her mother's complaints against her . Her mother seemed to share everything with her father. She was in awe of the comfort level in their relationship Chamgadad - Chipkali supremacy.
She wondered if someday she will have this kind of relationship with someone. But relationships scared her , almost everyone in her family were having toxic couples. The couples who were together were only for sake of world and those who were actually happy were like her parents . Was a relationship actually worth of this heartbreak.
She felt guilty as she looked at her mother. She didn't get married as she always said that she could not love anyone other than her father but nowadays she frequently thought if it was true or was it because her mother didn't want to make her sad.
She won't mind if her mother got married again but this time she wanted it not for wanting a father but for wanting her mother to have a life partner.
Ruhi could not be with her mother everytime. Her mother has always kept her happy now it was high time she did something for herself.
She sighed . It would be difficult to convince her mother but she would try later. She wrapped her arms around Arohi 's shoulders . Her eyes fluttered as she took in the familiar scent of warmth and comfort.
"This is home" She mumbled.
Her mother's gentle hands lovingly patted her head. Arohi took her palm and kissed it.
" Papa we both miss you a lot but we are happy. I hope you are happy there too."
She wiped a stray tear that got out of Arohi 's eyes.
As the mother-duo daughter left hand in hand Arohi mentioned about the coconut laddoos for Abhisha and warned Ruhi not to eat a single piece.
Ruhi distangled herself and stood infront of her in savdhan pose. "Ay ay Yo Matashree" She saluted.
Both of them broke in laughter at the same time.
" Ye kis baat par has rahe hein maa beti ? "
Ruhi grimaced. Trust this person to ruin her happy mood. Smile fake than WhatsApp rumours Ruhi turned towards her " Dida" . Manjiri and Akshara came walking from the kitchen.
"My child" Manjiri was to put her hands in her hair when she made her halt " Dida no , my hairstyle will get ruined.
"Abhir and Ruhi both are same , doesn't want their hairstyles to get ruined." Manjiri laughed along with Akshara.
Ruhi cringed at her grandmother's laugh. Was her Dida blind ? Could not she see that she and Abhir were in a cold war since years ? This washer grandmother's problem. She always lived in delusion.She indeed copied Abhir's dialogue because it would have created a scene if she said that she didn't want the woman's dirty hands around her.
It was on the tip of her tongue though yet one look from her mother and she swallowed the insult.
"Let's go we are getting late " Akshara reminded everyone as they had to go to Goenka mansion . Mimi apparently was sick and on her death bed.
Akshara looked at her " Ruhi beta "
"Yes taiji " Ruhi answered and her face turned sour but she still continued " Ruhi , we are going in one car , you come with Abhir. Abhir was saying to me the other day you guys don't much spend time together, you can catch up today".
That brat, she thought bitterly. He was studying to become a neurosurgeon but couldn't understand the hint that her blood boiled seeing him.
Ruhi stiffly nodded. Akshara gave her a smile as everyone departed to Goenka mansion.
Ruhi let out a sigh . She didn't particularly hate Akshara but neither did she like her . There was once a time when she thought of her as a pretty princess but she was young and didn't know that there was ugliness in beautiful things too.
This realisation didn't come to her because she married Abhimanyu , no, it was because what she did to Abhisha. She never said anything to her be it taunts or comforting words. And Abhir wasn't he Billa boy, cute and loving , who was sweet to everyone.
Her phone pinged with a message from Abhir that he was waiting outside .
As she opened the car door she saw Abhir on driving seat and Abhimanyu on back seat.
Abhimanyu understanding her question answered her " They had to take some goods so there was no space in that car "
Ruhi sat on the passenger seat and wore her seatbelt. She stared ahead and could feel Abhir glancing at her now and then.
"So Ruhi chuhi excited for your residency ?"
Abhir initiated the conversation.
"Yeah" Ruhi answered.
"Come to me if you have any problem, ok ?" Abhir continued wanting to talk more.
"Ok" Ruhi agreed dryly.
Ruhi startled on Abhir's hand slamming on the steering.
"What's wrong with you ?" Ruhi shouted the shock evident in her face.
"You , you are my problem" Abhir shouted back.
"Kids, please stop arguing" Abhimanyu tried to pacify the situation but he was ignored.
"What did I do ?" Ruhi asked angrily.
Abhir parked the car on road side " I ask you questions and you answer in one words , not talking , always showing this useless attitude".
" You ask questions I answer them , I talk with you when it's necessary, what more should I do ?"
" You talk because you are made to not because you want to "
Ruhi glared at him . Her hands gripping her skirt tightly. " You know what your problem is Abhir ? " She spat his name as poison . " You are never happy with what you have " .
It struck a nerve in Abhir. His jaw ticked. " So it's about her ? " He said the her in such a condescending way that made Ruhi defensive.
" Don't" She warned. " If you don't want me to lose the shreds of respect I have for you then shut up ."
"Tauji " She addressed Abhimanyu" Tell your son to drive. I have had enough of his shenanigans for today ".
Before anyone could say anything else she plugged her earphones and listened music to calm her mind.
Ruhi wiped off the sugar syrup from corner of Kashish's mouth.
She mumbled a thank you with her mouth full .
The kid looked like she didn't eat for days.
She and Abhisha shared a look and laughed aloud leaving a confused Kashish who wanted to ask what happened but couldn't because of her mouth full.
"When I got the call " Abhisha started "I didn't expect this..." She finished gesturing towards the happy laughter and talks and an energetic Mimi.
Ruhi waved off her hand in dismissal
" Since I have got my senses I have heard this hundred times from Mimi that she will die. " Kashish snickered. Ruhi continued" It has become such that I won't be shocked upon the news of her actual death ".
"Ruhi Di" Abhisha chastised."
"Leave them you tell me your final year will start , what are your plans - corporate or criminal ?"
Abhisha gulped the last laddoo" I am thinking of corporate, I am even looking after some companies so that I could do my internship after completing my final year".
"Good".
Kashish by now has wandered off somewhere disinterested in their career talks
They sat some time in silence .
"Are...are you okay ? Abhisha looked at her and Ruhi continued " After Abhir said all those ?
She shrugged" He didn't say anything new and honestly he doesn't matter anymore "
Ruhi looked at the girl infront of her. She remembered how she used to cry when she didn't have a father in her childhood but at least she had a mother who loved her to the moon and back whereas Abhisha didn't have anyone.
She might have her but parents are parents. Ruhi hugged her " I will always be with you" .
Both sisters closed their eyes feeling comfort in the solace .
It was night and Ruhi went to the terrace in search of Abhisha . Her feet halted on the last step.
She could hear Abhimanyu speaking.
"When Akshara was pregnant with twins I was hoping for girls . I was angry on god on her, myself when that didn't happen but God had something more beautiful for me . He gave me two daughters in form of Ruhi and you. I didn't take Abhir in my arms when he was born but I did take you and Ru . I would never forget how you both felt. I had the same feeling of getting healed when I held you both. I was envious of Neil and Sharmaji for being blessed with such precious gifts." Ruhi hid herself from their eyes and continued to listen.
" I restrained myself for wanting to be your father , I had wanted to become Ru's father too but in the process I only hurt her. " Ruhi started tearing
"So with you I wanted to correct everything but nothing happened as I wanted. Maa didn't want to accept you neither did Abhir. You were taunted and scolded and I could not do anything.Hence that day when opportunity came I let you go because I knew you would be better off than staying in this toxic family . I knew it would be hard for you but it would be better to remember one trauma for whole life than getting traumatized every day."
" Your mother's not a bad person you know she loves you very much but Abhir she almost lost Abhir during her pregnancy , hence she is protective of him. Abhir is not bad either. He is very sweet and mature kid. Your father did his upbringing very nicely but as soon as he came here he started changing."
Ruhi could hear him chuckling his humourless chuckle ." My maa won't agree but actually I failed in every aspect of my life as a son, as a husband , as a father and even as a good human being. I am sorry I have hurt every person in my life I am everyone's criminal . I want salvation but I don't deserve it ."
Ruhi put a hand on her mouth and started crying silently. How much pain was he in ? She was angry on him for ignoring him for breaking his promises but was it worth the burden the person was carrying ?
This person ,her poppy, her father figure , the person she loved the most after her Matashree, the person that once used to fulfill all her wishes, this person who used to call her his Dil.
Ruhi has stopped calling him poppy since a long time. She didn't want to get attached to him anymore. Hence she even stopped talking to him but this... Guilt surfaced inside her. She was hurt but she didn't notice that he was hurt too . Maybe much more than her. He was just better at hiding his pain than her.
The salty tears drenched her cheeks. She wiped them yet fresh ones came out .
Abhisha saw her in the stairs and smiled. Looks like she cries too. She didn't speak but her message was clear. You should talk to him.
Ruhi wanted to turn back but she steeled herself. She has wasted a lot of time in blaming him. Not anymore.
Abhimanyu sat on the terrace with his knees close to his chest and head down. He was crying. His posture was of an old man who had aged more than his age yet he resembled a child lacking love and care. He had a whole family with him but was he happy ? How could she not see this? Guilt churned her stomach . She didn't hate him. She was just angry. She could never hate him.
Ruhi sniffed and Abhimanyu peered at her
" Ru" he whispered slowly as if not believing she was there.
Ruhi took the shawl on her shoulders and covered him. She didn't speak and sat near him resting her head on his shoulders.
It was like a dam broke in Abhimanyu. " I am sorry I am sorry " He repeated while sobbing harder .
With each sob his whole body shook. Ruhi sat on her knees and hugged him . His arms came around her, his head near her heart beating with his every cry.
For a long time he cried and cried in her arms. Ruhi held him , tears streaming on her face too.
"I am sorry that I could not become your father, could not become the person you wanted me to become." He hiccuped
Ruhi pulled away and looked at him. He looked lost and she desperately wanted to take him home. She wiped his tears " It's okay, it's okay" She cupped his face with one hand the other rubbing soothing circles on his back .
They sat there in each other's embrace.
"Poppy" Ruhi called and Abhimanyu immediately turned to her eyes glistening.
"Poppy you may not be the best but you will always be my Dil too"
Abhimanyu cried again and she held him again. She wondered if Papa would be mad at her for making his Bhai cry.
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