I decided to continue reading the book. A couple hours passed. I was immersed in the world of pre-war Paris. I wondered, what is it like there now? Is it the same as what we have here: life in fragments? Or is everything normal there and people continue to walk past the arch and the tower, hurrying for a cup of coffee with a friend? I don't know, probably never will. My thoughts were dispelled when Troy walked in.
"It's time to go, just tell me where exactly, okay?" Troy took off his military uniform. He was now wearing a plaid shirt and khaki pants.
"We're going to L.A."
"Farther than I thought."
"Change your mind?"
"No, I'll just get some more gas and water," he shrugged.
"You're a hard man to scare," I smirked and slammed the book shut, "then I'm ready to go."
"Write a note, leave it with your parents, there's no telling when we'll be back. Tell them you've decided to come with me to find Clara."
I nodded affirmatively and went to get a pen. As I wrote, he stood leaning against the wall and stared at me silently.
"What?" I intercepted his gaze.
"Why did you ask to join the militia?"
"I hate digging in the ground. I'd rather shoot."
"Mike left. He's not coming back. I went everywhere with him. He wasn't a great shot, but he was a pleasure to be around. You're his replacement."
"You're putting me on probation?" I laughed.
"I already did. You could say I'm hiring you," he said seriously, which made me laugh.
"Okay," I agree, spread my hands.
Troy quickly loaded our stuff into the car, while I related a note to my parents' house. When I returned, he was already sitting behind the wheel with the engine running. The guards really didn't ask any questions and we left the ranch grounds unhindered. I don't know why, but I felt very safe with Troy. I felt like I could tell him everything, so I decided to reveal Alisha's secret about Jake going to Walker. Surprisingly, Troy was cool about it:
"Let them go."
"But it's dangerous. They killed the ranch people!" I didn't understand why he didn't seem the least bit worried about his brother. Is he really that insensitive?
"Look, Della, they're not gonna do anything to my brother, much less Alicia."
"What makes you so sure?"
"I've known them a long time, believe me."
"It's hard to believe what you're saying about them, considering the last thing they did."
"Try me."
His calmness amazed me. Maybe he was right, and I shouldn't worry, but I couldn't help but worry about my friend.
It was almost two hours later. We'd traveled more than half the distance already, while discussing everything we could. Troy was interesting to talk to. He was weird, but pretty smart. Sometimes I felt like he and I had an age difference of 10 years instead of 5. It was rare. Usually with men it's the other way around. Even my husband, though older than me, was really 10, sometimes seemed like a child to me. Although he had a lot of intelligence. But Troy was probably just interesting and unpredictable. I couldn't predict what he was going to say next. It was always a mystery. And so, after discussing traveling with him, we ended up in Los Angeles.
"You seriously haven't been anywhere outside of California? I don't believe it. How's that?"
"Usually. A lot of people haven't been. I don't think I'm missing anything. Although when I was a kid, I dreamed of going to Africa."
"Why Africa?" I laughed.
"I don't know," he smiled, "I thought it was cool there."
"I've been there, it's interesting. But of all the places I've seen, now I want to go back to my home."
"In Madrid?"
"No, in Russia."
"And nowhere else?"
I've been thinking.
"You know, actually, my coolest trip was to Pantelleria."
Troy frowned:
"Where's that?"
"An island, near Sicily."
"Sicily... Sicily... That's in Italy?"
"You're a geographer," I thought with a chuckle.
"You've traveled a lot."
"Yes, thanks to Aron."
"That was your husband's name?"
"Yes. He had conferences all over the world, so we traveled," I smiled to myself, remembering Aron.
When I looked at Troy, I saw a disgruntled expression on his face. I didn't ask, he started it:
"Why do you still bring up your husband all the time? You're not living that life anymore, you can forget him."
"It's not that easy."
"He's dead, do you understand!" He didn't shout, but he spoke very rudely, as if I had offended him in some way.
"I understand. But why are you talking like that? I'm just making conversation and..."
"No, you're putting him everywhere you can, it's getting annoying! Oh, he's so wonderful! He took me to Sicily and who knows where else!" Troy imitated my voice, "So what? Where's your awesome husband? It didn't work out for him! Because he's not that cool!"
"Troy! Shut up!"
"Why?! Somebody had to tell you that!"
We were driving down La Brea Avenue, I knew it well, here in one of the restaurants, we were going to celebrate my sister's wedding. Troy was starting to yell. He wouldn't shut up. But at some point, he stopped abruptly when he looked at me. I started crying. He seemed to want me to, and I did. Troy stopped the car. The street was still dark and empty. All the houses, stores, and cafes were empty. There were no people here. At least, no living ones. There was no wind, the palm trees along the road seemed artificial in their stillness. I wasn't sobbing in my voice, just tears rolling down my face and I stared at nothing, occasional sobs breaking the silence. He was silent. About five minutes passed. I wasn't calming down. Apparently Troy's stupor was replaced by pity, because he wrapped his arms around me abruptly and pulled me against him. I wanted him to do that.
"I didn't mean to, I don't know what came over me. I'm an asshole, but I don't usually do this," he rested my head against his chin, "I'm sorry, Della."
I was slowly starting to calm down. Yes, he was right, I was taking what was happening like a dream or a movie. It was high time I let go of the past and didn't indulge in sweet thoughts. I wouldn't see Aron again, I wouldn't find myself in Madrid or London in a beautiful dress at one of his business meetings. No. That's it. There will be no more of that. All I have now is rough boots and a ranch.
"You're right Troy, I need to let go of the past and accept what is," I looked at my watch, Troy intercepted my eye and began to unbutton lock. When he took the watch off and held it out to me, I looked at the mother-of-pearl insert on the dial. Dead Love was in my hand, and I wanted to put it in my pocket, but Troy took my hand and snatched it away. The watch flew out the window.
"I'll find you a new one, there's a place." We drove down the avenue and turned right.
"Stay in the car, I'll scout the situation," he got out, closing the door carefully.
I wasn't going after him. Looking at my empty wrist, I realized I was now clearly aware of reality. Yes, I'm here. It was all true now. It couldn't have been otherwise. As I pondered, walkers began to approach the car. Apparently, Troy hadn't been attentive enough to make sure no one heard the door slam. I got out of the car, pulled a knife out of my backpack, and quickly killed two walkers. There was a third one coming towards me, and about 15 more about 20 meters away. "Where's Troy?" ran through my head. After killing the third one, I realized I couldn't handle the crowd alone, and I wanted to start the car. But then my companion finally showed up.
"Where have you been so long?!"
He calmly walked over to me, pulled a new watch out of his pocket, and calmly began to put it on my arm.
"Troy! Can't you see dead people? Wake up!" I was going crazy. The walkers were getting close. Putting new watch on my arm, his eyes stopped on mine, he took my neck with both hands and leaned in to kiss me on the lips. I responded, ignoring everything that was happening around me.