🌸 note 🌸
Hey (yup, I'm still alive)
How are you? Let's celebrate Max's third with a new chapter 🕺 I hope you'll enjoy it.
Loads of love and happiness<3
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Monaco, October 2019
Pia's heart raced at the news of the negative drug test, but the doctor's mention of something else immediately raised her concern. She glanced at Arthur, who was listening intently, his brow furrowing.
"What is it?" Pia asked, her voice tense.
Dr. Lefebvre continued, "While the drug test was negative, we did find some abnormalities. Your glucose levels are significantly lower than they should be, which could indicate an underlying issue. I think that in your case the cause could be," he stopped himself because he had to choose his following words wisely. "Well, your dietary choices. However, I highly advise you to follow up with a healthcare professional to investigate the cause."
Pia's anxiety deepened as the doctor's words sank in. Lowered glucose levels due to dietary choices - it was a euphemism for what she had been struggling with. She exchanged a worried glance with Arthur, who seemed equally concerned. Just half an hour earlier, she was telling him she was doing better, but this didn't really confirm it.
"Thank you, Doctor," the Italian replied, her voice quivering. "I appreciate your honesty." With that, she ended the call.
As Pia ended the call with Dr. Lefebvre, a heavy silence hung in the air between her and Arthur. The weight of the doctor's words bore down on both of them, casting a shadow over the positive news of the negative drug test.
The younger one couldn't hide his concern any longer. "Pia, are you okay?" he asked, his voice filled with worry.
Pia's eyes met his, and she sighed, a mixture of emotions playing across her face. "I... I don't know, Arthur. I thought I was getting better, but... then there's always something wrong."
Anorexia was like a relentless little monster that clung to Pia, sinking its fangs in deeper with each attempt to shake it loose. Something that started relatively as fun was now tearing her apart – both mentally and physically.
"Pia," Arthur said gently, moving closer to her, "It's okay. You'll get yourself checked, and it'll be alright. Progress and healing aren't linear."
The older one appreciated Arthur's comforting words, and she nodded. His presence provided a sense of security. It suddenly felt like he was the older one.
"You're right," she replied, her voice softening. "It's just... I was starting to believe I was making progress, but this... it's a reminder that it's not over yet."
The Monegasque reached out and gently took her hand, his touch warm and reassuring. "It's okay to have setbacks. What's important is that you're taking the right steps by addressing this with professionals."
---
"I think that if we want to watch the race in Charles' apartment. We should go grocery shopping," the Italian said while looking at her feet. She didn't want Arthur to see the state of the fridge. Two cans of energy drinks, five eggs, half a litre of old almond milk and cucumber together with two tomatoes – that was everything that was there.
Normally, Charles was the motivation for the Italian to have everything in order. She liked to cook for him more than anything. It was a part of her way how to express how much she cared for him.
Arthur noticed Pia's hesitation as she suggested going grocery shopping, but he didn't press further. Instead, he smiled and agreed.
"That sounds like a great idea," he replied. "Let's grab everything we need, and then we can head to Charles' place to watch the race." As he said it, he quickly decided in his head which supermarket was the closest to them and headed in that direction.
"Arthur... I was thinking," the Italian said as they were walking through the aisles of the supermarket. The Monegasque was pushing the trolley full of groceries.
"Yes?" He asked while looking at the box of cereals.
"Who was that girl from yesterday?" Arthur paused for a moment, considering his response as he placed the box of cereals back in its place. He was no longer a kid to eat those.
"I don't really know her. It just kinda happened," he said without looking at Pia because his cheeks were getting red. He was still a little bit shy when it came to these things.
The Italian couldn't help but notice the slight blush on Arthur's cheeks as he admitted not really knowing the girl from the nightclub. It was an unusual sight, considering how confident he usually was.
She reached out and gently placed her hand on his arm, offering a reassuring smile. "It's okay. We all have our moments of... spontaneity," she said with a hint of amusement. "Sooo, you're single and ready to mingle?" She asked him as if she was his annoying older sister who would just tease him with the kiss forever.
The young Monegasque chuckled at Pia's teasing. "Well, let's just say I'm not actively looking for anything right now. It was a momentary lapse in judgment," he admitted with a sheepish grin.
"Oh, poor her. She seemed like she enjoyed the kiss and wanted more, and you're here telling me she was just a lapse in judgement," the Italian pressed the topic further. She kinda enjoyed it when she could disconcert Arthur.
The Monegasque chuckled again, appreciating Pia's playful teasing. "Alright, alright, you got me," he said with a laugh. "It was a fun night, but it doesn't mean I'm actively pursuing anything with her. Let's just say I have other priorities at the moment."
Pia smirked, giving him a knowing look. "Other priorities, huh? Like grocery shopping with your future sister-in-law?"
He grinned back at her. "Exactly. Grocery shopping is a serious business."
"Also, I didn't really have a chance to congratulate you," the younger one said after a while. It wasn't like the drug test fixed everything. It was a good and promising beginning to try to mend the bonds, but it didn't magically erase all the pain or hurt.
"It's okay and thank you. I could imagine you weren't really thrilled when you heard about it." The older one said openly. She was more than aware that Arthur wasn't happy about the engagement. Charles didn't tell her directly, but she wasn't stupid. She asked him about the reaction of his family, and he always graciously left out Arthur's reaction.
"Yeah, well. Ultimately, it's his decision. If he thinks, it will bring him happiness, and it actually will, I will be only glad." The younger one said as if he was totally above this whole thing. As if he wasn't convincing Charles, it was a bad decision almost every time, he saw him.
"I hope it will. I really don't want to mess it up this time, Arth," she said quietly. She really wished and prayed that it would work out this time.
"Yeah, please don't. I don't want to see him like that ever again," the younger one said with a warning undertone. It was clear that he still had reservations about her engagement to his brother, but he was willing to support their happiness.
---
"Okay, so here is popcorn and a jug of water. I don't know if you want something else to drink?" Pia asked the Monegasque sitting on the couch as she put the bowl full of popcorn onto the small glass table.
"Pia," Arthur said softly. "It's okay. Sit down and relax."
"I can't. I'm always so unsteady when he's racing, and I'm not there," the Italian admitted quietly before sighing. She could feel how her hands shook. The emotions were running high especially when Charles was staring from the pole.
"You're behaving like all those years ago. You're still anxious every time he gets behind the wheel," the younger Leclerc observed. He remembered it from the time when they were still just kids.
"Yeah, I know," she admitted, her voice tinged with frustration. "I thought I'd gotten better at handling this, but it's like a reflex. When he's out there, I can't help but worry."
Arthur gave her a sympathetic look, understanding her anxiety all too well. "It's natural to worry about the people we care about."
"Yeah. I've been worried about him ever since the day I met him in Sarno. You know, I don't believe in soulmates, but if I did, I would swear he is mine," the Italian admitted quietly.
"If that's so, why, Pia? Why?" The young Monegasque asked a question that had occupied his mind ever since Pia left Charles. Why did she leave? The Italian knew she would have to face that question from Arthur sooner or later. She promised it after all.
"Why I left?" she repeated, her voice soft but tinged with sadness. "It's complicated, Arth." She took a few seconds before forming a longer and more informative answer. "I didn't want to leave him, but I felt like I had to. I thought that by leaving, I could protect him from my demons."
The young Leclerc listened attentively as Pia began to explain her reasons for leaving his brother. He had known it was a complex situation, but her words hinted at deeper struggles. Her initial words, "I didn't want to leave him, but I felt like I had to," intrigued him.
"By demons you mean drugs?" He asked her.
The Italian nodded in response to Arthur's question, her eyes downcast. "That too," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I was struggling with drug addiction. It started as something recreational, but it quickly spiralled out of control. I was using it to numb the pain, to escape from everything that was haunting me... It was just so hard after Jules' crash. It was just so hard to lie to everyone that he would make it when I knew he wouldn't. I felt so guilty for saying those merciful lies instead of the throat-cutting truth. I hated every minute of it. I hated seeing Jules like that. I hated seeing Daniel like that. I hated seeing Charles like that. I think I hated every second of my life back then, and drugs were the only reasons why I felt happy at least for a little while."
Arthur listened with a heavy heart. He had known that the aftermath of Jules' crash had been incredibly difficult for everyone involved, but hearing Pia's perspective brought a new depth to the pain they had all endured.
"You have to understand I thought I was protecting him by leaving. I thought I was protecting everyone by trying to leave." Pia looked down for a moment, her gaze fixed on her trembling hands.
"What do you m-" As the younger one began to piece together the puzzle of Pia's past, the realisation of her actions hit him like a tidal wave. He shook his head in disbelief, not wanting to accept the truth that was becoming clear.
"No," he uttered. He couldn't comprehend how someone like Pia, who cared deeply for Charles and her family and her friends, could have made such a decision.
Tears welled up in Pia's eyes as she met Arthur's gaze. She didn't want to justify her actions, but she felt compelled to explain. "I genuinely believed that I was doing the right thing. I thought I was sparing them from the pain of watching me self-destruct. It was a permanent escape."
Arthur's eyes widened in shock and concern. He had known that Pia had been through a challenging period, but the revelation of her suicide attempt was a heavy blow. "Pia, I had no idea it had gotten that bad. I'm so sorry. I really am. I had no clue." The Monegasque was now regretting how harsh and hard he was towards the Italian when it came to his brother. He always knew that her departure was complicated, but he had no idea it was like this. Only if he knew.
The older one looked into Arthur's eyes, her own filled with a mixture of pain, regret, and gratitude for his understanding. "Arth, you don't have to apologise. I kept this hidden for a reason."
The noise of the television broadcast announcing the beginning of the race pulled their attention briefly, but Arthur couldn't focus on it. Instead, he turned back to Pia, his voice filled with genuine concern.
"I wish you didn't. I was such an asshole towards you just because I thought- I don't even know what I thought," he ran his fingers through his hair. He felt like such a douche. He remembered the time when he said that Charlotte was way better than Pia, and he just wanted to slap himself. Sometimes, he could behave as such a dick.
As the race announcer's voice blared from the television, the older one took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Arthur, you didn't know. You reacted the way you did because you care about Charles, and I don't blame you for that."
The television broadcast was now displaying the grid of cars lined up on the starting grid. Charles' Ferrari was prominently featured on the pole position. Pia couldn't help but feel her heart swell with pride for her fiancé. He had worked incredibly hard for this moment, and she knew how much it meant to him.
As the race cars ended their formation lap, Pia closed her eyes. The race start was always the worst. She couldn't watch it.
The tension in the room was palpable as the race announcer's voice intensified, counting down the moments until the lights went out.
Three...
Two...
One...
The race was underway, but the Italian kept her eyes closed, trying to control her anxiety.
"I blame myself for it tho," the younger one said as the cars approached the third corner, and Pia finally opened her eyes again.
Pia's eyes flickered toward the younger one as he spoke. "You should not blame yourself," she said softly. "Let's just not think about it and enjoy the race. The past is the past anyways."
The young Monegasque just nodded. There was no way of changing it anyway.
As the cars zoomed around the track, their vibrant colours streaking by in a blur of speed, Pia and Arthur found themselves swept up in the excitement. They cheered for Charles with every passing lap.
"Come on, Charles!" she shouted, her voice filled with encouragement. "You've got this!"
Arthur joined in, his loyalty to his brother shining through. "Go, Charles! Show them what you're made of!"
As the laps ticked by, Pia couldn't help but glance at the young Leclerc from time to time. Despite their complicated history and the issues, they were currently dealing with, it felt good to share this moment.
But Pia's excitement reached a fever pitch when, almost halfway through the race, the commentator's voice said with excitement. "Well, Vettel is gonna get ahead of Leclerc. Here he is!" He said that as Charles made his way out of the pits right behind Sebastian.
Pia couldn't help it, but cheer for her dad a little bit. He was struggling so much these days in Ferrari, and she knew more than well that this victory could have a huge impact on his future. He was almost ready and decided he would leave Ferrari, but this could change his decision. She knew just how much this race meant to her father, and seeing him in contention for victory was a source of pride and hope.
"Go, Dad!" she exclaimed, unable to contain her support for Sebastian. Despite the complexities of their family dynamics and her loyalty to her fiancé, she couldn't help but root for her dad in this crucial moment.
Sebastian Vettel's Ferrari continued to lead, and as the final laps approached, it became clear that he was on the path to victory. Pia and Arthur watched with mixed emotions, knowing that while this was a moment of triumph for Sebastian, it was also a tough loss for Charles.
When Sebastian crossed the finish line, securing the win, the Italian clapped her hands in both joy and sympathy for Charles. It was a bittersweet moment, but she knew Charles would be happy for Sebastian too. It was a crucial result for the team.