I flipped over in bed and traced circles around the spots on my neck where Justin had kissed. My mouth formed into a small smile as I reminised on the events that took place merely hours ago. I still hadn't been able to sleep because Justin was all I could think about. His lips were all I could think about. The way his touch made me warm inside was I could think about.
Then he said he liked me. So that was stuck in my thoughts too. He actually liked me. I stared at exactly nowhere in this dark room of mine as my mind painted a picture of Justin. He was absolutely perfect and I knew that I wanted more than just a friendship with him. I wanted so much more. Some may say this was all just infatuation talking but I knew it was a lot more than that. Justin always gave me an uneasy feeling in my stomach, in a good way. He made me nervous and excited all at once. I could barely have a coherent conversation with him because when he looked at me every word I thought about saying disappeared. I can honestly admit that I've got it bad for him. For some reason, this all felt like more than just some grade school crush. Way more.
--
I peeled my eyes open and am greeted by the bold numbers on my alarm clock.
10:49 am.
In a way I was glad that I didn't have to work today. I hadn't fell asleep until three in the morning from all of my thoughts keeping me up. There was no way I'd be able to focus if I went in the cafe today. I sighed heavily and kicked off the sheets that were entangled in my legs. As I swung my legs over the side of my bed I stood to my feet, traveling to the bathroom for a shower.
When I was finished cleaning myself and I finally felt refreshed I threw on a solid white t-shirt, olive green colored shorts, and a pair of white converses. I then sat at my dresser and pulled my hair out of its clip, letting it fall down my shoulders. I ran my fingers through the dampness and decided against blow drying it. It was only eleven in the morning and I could already feel the heat from outside. So I brushed my hair up into a tight bun on my head. Later adding a pair of earrings in my ears.
When I looked at myself in the mirror I sighed, coming to a realization. I don't know why I even got dressed up because mom wasn't letting me go outside for another six days. I bent down to kick off my shoes.
"Hey."
My ears perked at that familiar voice and I sat back up looking out of my window into Justin's. He was kneeled down with his hands sitting on the ledge, a smirk on his face.
I scurried to my window and replicated his position, smiling. "Hi. How long have you been there?"
He looked down at his watch before his eyes met mine. "Maybeeeee... forty seconds now."
I laughed and he joined in.
"Back to talking through windows again, huh?" He said.
I shrugged. "Looks like it."
When he licked his lips I had to look away because it gave me that uneasy feeling in my stomach again. It made me close my hands into fists. It was so...sexy.
"Wanna come over?" Justin asked.
I gave him a sad look. "You know I'm not allowed to."
"Are your parents home?"
"Well, no but--"
"So what's the big deal?"
"My mom doesn't want me to be outside and I kind of have to learn from my mistakes, right?"
Justin looked at me for mere seconds before chuckling.
"What?"
"Are you always this obidient?"
"Kind of." I nodded. Then we both laughed again and hearing his made my heart flutter. His laugh sounded like music.
"It's only eleven and I'm sure your parents don't get home until what, six?"
I paused and looked down at my cuticles. He was actually accurate but I knew how stupid and forgetful I could get and if mom found out I left the house she would kill me. She'd probably ground me for another week and at that point Joan would just let me go. I didn't want to jeopardize my job just because I got carried away with hanging out with Justin.
"Exactly." He spoke when I hadn't said anything.
"You just want me to get in trouble, don't you?" I smiled.
Justin returned the smile. "No I just want to hang out with you."
I playfully rolled my eyes and stood up. "Meet me in two."
I headed out of my room and although I knew my parents weren't home I checked their room anyway. As I expected, it was empty as was every other room in the house. So I headed outside underneath the hot sun and met Justin on the outside of my gate. He pulled me into a hug, something he's never done before. I wrapped my arms around his torso and prayed that I didn't hold on longer than I needed to. After three seconds I pulled away so he did too and he walked in the direction of his house, telling me to follow him. As always, I did. As I walked behind him I couldn't help but check out his outfit. White t-shirt, jeans, and navy blue skater sneakers. He was such a simple dresser and I liked that about him. He didn't have to do much to impress someone. Hell, he could come outside in disheveled clothing and he would still be absolutely good looking. That just came natural to him. I envied and I loved it at the same time.
Once we were upstairs and in his room, I sat on the edge of his bed and looked around. It was much cleaner than the last time that was for sure. Things were in their proper places and not thrown about. Also, the boxes were gone.
"So," Justin breathed. "What do want to do?"
Kiss you.
"I don't know." I shrugged. "You invited me over, remember?"
I reached over and grabbed the rubix cube from his desk, fumbling with it. I never understood howq to solve these things.
"Can you do it?" Justin asked as he looked down at the multi colored cube.
"Of course." I replied confidently. When I started to peel one of the stickers off he rushed over to me and grabbed it, making me laugh.
"That is not the right way to solve a rubix cube." He joined me on the bed.
"Sure it is. I use to do that all of the time when I was little."
Justin held the cube up between us and smirked. "I can solve it in two minutes."
"Impossible." I snorted.
"Bet you five dollars I can."
"Five you can't."
"Start the timer." Justin situated himself on the bed a little more so that he was facing me and I pulled out my phone, opening the timer. Once I started it, his hands starting shifting the peices and he went into full determination mode. I couldn't help but notice the way his tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth while he worked on the small cube. One of his bushy eyebrows was furrowed as the other one raised a little. I looked down at my phone and noticed that it was only ten seconds remaining so I decided to tell him.
"Ten sec--"
"Done." He placed the cube on my thigh and I picked up it up, examining it in awe. Each side was matched perfectly, not one color out of place.
"What?" I breathed out. "How the... what the fu-- how did you do that?"
"Ancient Chinese secret." He winked.
I clutched the cube in my hand and went to get money from my pocket when I realized I hadn't even brought any. "I have to pay you later. I didn't bring any money with me."
"It's okay." Justin shook his head. "I don't want your money."
"Are you sure?"
"More than sure."
His hazel eyes scanned my features and he smiled, me replicating.
"Still surprised that you can do that though." I picked up the cube and held it between our faces to stop myself from staring at his lips.
He placed his hand on mine, lowering the cube so that our eyes met again before taking it from me and putting it back on his desk. I looked in a different direction because I could already feel the tension rising. The more I sat here the stronger my desire to feel his lips would grow. I crossed my foot over the other and chewed on my thumbnail.
"What's wrong?" Justin asked.
"Hm?" I mumbled.
"You won't look at me."
Shit. He noticed.
"Why?"
I searched my mind for an answer. To make up anything but, I couldn't.
"Is it because I'm ugly?" He asked.
I finally looked at him and laughed a little. "No it's not because you're ugly." I chuckled.
He took my hand from my mouth and laughed with me. "Then what?"
Should I be honest? Should I just tell him how much I wanted him to just kiss me already?
"Because..." I started. I hesitated because I didn't know how to exactly word what I was feeling without sounding obsessed or something. "Because you--"
"Maggie and Frank are here." The sound of Mr. Gregg's voice filled the room before he actually came in. When he did and he saw me he sent me a warm smile. "Well hello Lacey. I haven't seen you in some time."
"Hey Mr. Gregg." I smiled shly.
He sent me another smile before returning his attention to Justin. "Your aunt and uncle are here to help. Why don't you come down and help too?"
Justin nodded. "Sure uncle Gregg. I'll be down in two minutes."
Mr. Gregg nodded and heading back out of the room.
When Justin stood up he sighed and said, "My uncle's having a big family barbeque later this afternoon. I almost forgot about it but I have to help set everything up."
I stood up as well, a little disappointed. "Okay."
"You can come if you want."
"I can't. My parents will be home before I even have a chance to have fun. Thanks for inviting me though."
"No problem."
----
Dinner consisted of baked chicken, pasta, and salad. It also consisted of complete silence like all dinners in this house. Literally the only thing you could hear were the occasional sounds of the forks hitting against the plate. But that was about it. Every time I ate at this table I couldn't help but think of how different things were a few years ago. How the whole family would laugh together and talk about how our days went and upcoming events that took place in school. These thoughts consumed and invaded my mind everytime I sat at this damn table and I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to keep my thoughts bottled up.
"Do you guys miss it?" I said quietly as I stabbed a piece of lettuce on my plate.
Dad looked at me uncomfortably for a second. "What?" He asked although he knew exactly what I was referring to.
"Us. The way our family use to be. Y'know before Lianna left."
Mom and dad gave each other a look before they returned their attention to their plates.
"We use to be a family." I continued.
"And we still are." Mom cut in.
"No we're not." I argued. "You guys don't talk to me anymore. We use to always laugh when Lianna was here. We use to do things together as a family. We use to have fun!"
"And we still do." Mom said.
I let out a frustrated sigh and scooted away from the table. My parents watched me as I traveled to the living room and grabbed three photo frames. Then I came back and placed them on the table for them to look at.
"These pictures are from years ago." I said. "Lie to me and tell me that we still do things like this. Go on and lie to me."
Mom and dad gave each other that same look again.
"You don't even talk to me anymore." I shot at dad. "I honestly can't remember the last time we had a conversation longer than sixty seconds. The minute Lianna left you guys shut me out. Like I'm a foster child or something." Right now I was fuming and I don't even know how I got myself so upset. I guess I was just so sick and tired of being ignored. "You guys are so fûcking lucky I'm not going out on the street seeking attention from other men because that's what most kids in my position would do! You should be lucky that I still have some type of hope that you guys will actually change and start talking again."
Mom shot up from the table with her hand covering her mouth and headed for the stairs. When she reached the top I heard a sob escape from her and I felt a little bad. Dad glared at me before he too got up and followed mom. Here I was once again, being left alone. Two tears shot out of my eyes and down my face and out of anger I picked up one of the photos on the table and threw it at the wall, watching it come crashing down onto the floor, the glass shattering everywhere.
I wondered how much longer my parents thought I would be able to go without confronting them about their behavior towards me. I always had Amber to talk to and hang out with so I kind of left it alone but when she was away for the summer and Noah wasn't always around I feel left out of my own family. I felt deserted. It hurts like hell when your own parents don't show you any kind of affection.
I grabbed the dishes from the table and scraped off the remains into the garbage, dropping them into the sink. Maybe cleaning up will give me time to clear my head. Tears were still leaking down my cheeks and I made no attempt to wipe them away. I just started the water and added dish liquid in later.
Thirty minutes later, the dishes were clean and I wasn't crying anymore. My parents were sleeping because I heard dad snoring and their tv was off. Wiping my hands on the seat of my pants I began to walk upstairs when I heard a few knocks on the door. Walking out into the foyer I looked in the mirror to make sure my face wasn't stained anymore and I didn't look upset. I pushed a smile and opened the door to see Justin on the other side. His hair was pushed back with a band and he was in a tshirt and a pair of joggers. He looked so good.
Justin took it upon hisself to step inside so I closed the door and watched him walk around the foyer.
"What are you doing here?" I asked. I can't say that I didn't already feel ten times better that he was.
He turned around to look at me and smirked. "I wanted to see you. I just finished a game of basketball with my cousins and you were on my mind."
"Was I?" I asked casually. Even though on the inside I was jumping up and down because the feelings I had for him were mutual.
He stepped closer to me and placed a finger under my chin, lifting it. "Yep." His breath hit my mouth and I almost died when he leaned down, ready to place his lips on mine.
"Lacey.." mom called. I heard her door creak and I hurried and ran into the living room, Justin following behind me. Peeking my head out of the doorway I saw her in the middle of the staircase, her arms wrapping around her body. "I thought I heard someone knocking."
"No." I said, feeling slightly awkward from what happened earlier. "No one..." I stopped abruptly when I felt Justin's body on mine and his hands at my waist. "No one knocked."
"Are you sure?" Mom went on.
"Y-yeah. I was washing dishes I would've...um..I would've heard it."
Justin played with the end of my tank top and his fingers grazed my skin, making me close my fists the tighest I could.
"Listen, Lacey.." mom sighed.
No, no, no please just leave. I thought. Just go!
"Your dad and I are both sorry about not paying you attention like we should. It's just hard not having Lianna here with us as a family."
Justin stopped playing with my shirt, probably because he realized this was turning into a personal conversation. However, he did continue to hold onto me.
"I know." I nodded. "We don't have to talk about this right now."
Mom nodded in understanding. "Okay. But I want you to know that things will be back to normal soon and your dad and I still love you."
"I love you guys too." I said.
Mom nodded again and returned to her bedroom. I waited a few seconds for her door to close to spin around and look at Justin.
"Did I come over at a bad time?" He whispered.
I shook my head. "Nope. But I think we better go up to my room if you're thinking about staying."
Justin nodded so I took his hand in mine and hurried for the stairs. He spotted the broken picture frame on the floor and stopped to look at it. "What happened here?"
"Nothing." I quickly said. I pulled him forward and we ran up the stairs and into my room. I shut the door behind me and when I turned around the only thing that I felt were Justin's lips against mine. Finally. Finally this moment was happening. The softness of his mouth melted into mine and an electric shock danced throughout my body. This was perfect. This was all so perfect. My hands found the sides of his face and his found my waist. I held onto his lips tightly with no intentions of letting go. What if we never got to do this again? I hastily moved my lips with his and we created this beautiful sync. A sync that was so beautiful, I didn't even know what to think. My mind wasn't functioning correctly and I wondered how he could even invade my mind the way he did. This feeling was all so new to me. It's crazy what he's doing to me.
I surprised him when I pushed my tongue into his mouth but I needed more of him. He guided me back onto my bed and hovered over me. When he went to place kisses on my jawline my mom was calling my name on the other side of the door so I flipped Justin off of me and he scurried to the closet disguising himself through all of my hangered clothes. I sat up when mom came in and tried to ignore my pounding heart.
"Yes...mom?" I said almost breathlessly.
"I thought about.." she looked at me and frowned. "Are you okay? You're breathing pretty hard."
"I um, I just ran up the stairs."
"Oh." she said before continuing. "I came to tell you that I'm taking you off of punishment."
"What?" I asked in disbelief.
"I don't know. I don't think it's solving anything to keep you on. So I'll call Joan tomorrow and ask her if you can start the next day."
I smiled and got up to embrace her in a hug. "Wow. Thanks mom."
She hugged me back and pulled away. "You're welcome sweetheart. Get some rest. You look tired." She rubbed my arm and gave me another smile before leaving. When her door closed I traveled to the closet and pulled Justin out, a smirk playing on his face.
He stared at me for a few seconds and went right back to kissing me, that same spark exploding in my stomach again.
•
a/n: I hadn't updated in a long time so here's a longer chapter for you guys.
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