Siddharth
Was I too excited? Was I too calm? I couldn't help running the lines more than a thousand times. At this point, I am afraid I am not functioning like a human.
Stop it you fool! Just stop, will you? My mind never left me alone for a damn second.
I rolled over my bed, grinning like an idiot when my phone buzzed next to me. Payal. I sat up quite immediately. "Hey, did you reach home?" I asked before she could speak.
"Oh... yeah. I did." Her voice quivered. She sounded like some trouble was looming over her. I could sense the trouble from miles away. As if the last few days were not enough, the God above planned to give us some more adventure. That's great news!
"Um... what about you? You reached home well?" She asked with a hesitant voice.
Now I am sure she was troubled. She wasn't the type to ask me about that, not when she dropped me off in front of my house. Of course, I got in safe and didn't get kidnapped, which is why I was using my phone now.
But I didn't say all of that. "Hmm... Yes, I got in. What is troubling you though?"
It must have been a shock to her but she shouldn't be that surprised that I found out. "How... would you know—"
"That you were in trouble?" I finished her incomplete sentence. I chuckled to calm down the atmosphere—more like to calm myself down. "Of course I understood. You are acting weird now. Tell me, what is it?"
I need to know. I need to know so bad. What the hell is it? My heart couldn't help but chant as I waited to hear.
I listened as she spoke how she was supposed to move in tomorrow but the owner is suddenly determined to sell it and pay off his debts and so, she has nowhere to go because her sister is leaving for Kolkata next week and the house lease will end.
"So, what will you do now?" I asked, dreading the worst.
"Siddharth, so, I was thinking..." Her voice faded away as if she paused to think. Anticipation rang in my ears and I couldn't bear her silence any longer. Do you know the feeling when the silence kills us? That very, common feeling. I felt that in my guts.
"Tell me."
"I should move into the market quarters. They already said earlier that they have apartments for their employees so I might move in there."
There it came. My fear of roping myself more around the market with my lies. But that wasn't the only problem. The problem was something else. I knew what she wanted. Perhaps to pretend to be a husband and live together.
"I don't think that... will be appropriate. I mean, how are we supposed to live together there? We can't do that." I felt the hair behind my neck stand up at the thought of us living as a couple. Though she didn't explicitly mention it, I assume it can't be a total loss.
"What? Why are we living together?" Her perplexed voice startled me. What?
Before I could convey my puzzled thoughts, she said, "You just have to accompany me to the building. Other than that you have to do nothing. I will do the rest. Okay?"
"Wait... I am so confused. What are you going to do exactly?"
"I will just say that you are going to make up something. Anyway, we can't stay together. But really, did you just think about that? Why would you—" I heard her sigh.
I could die right now. The embarrassment crept up to me and I wanted to bury myself. Why would I think like that? Suddenly, I felt as if I had to say something to sound cool to reduce my discomfort and I sat up just to say. "I will do anything if only it is for you."
I heard her scoff a laugh. "Still, you don't have to live with me. Thank you. And can you stop pretending to be cool?" I could visualize her shaking her head while saying this.
"It worked anyway."
A pause followed before she spoke. "I... should hang up now."
"Good Night." She hung up the call and soon the wide smile hanging on my face turned to neutral, my eyes dropped down as I faced a mental breakdown when I cried out almost in the pitch of a scream. I just can't take this anymore.
"Are you a wolf? Why would you shout at night?" Ankit's voice echoed from next door when I saw my door slam open just to make eye contact with his glaring red eyes.
"How dare you yell like that? What happened so wrong?" This time the voice was calm. There stood Gourabh, his arms on his hip and eyes looking at me up and down.
I already stopped and lay down on my bed. I didn't want to get in a fight now.
"What the heck is wrong with you all upstairs? Who was wailing like that at night? Just sleep already." This time it was our father yelling from downstairs, loud enough to make Ankit run on his toes while Gourabh eyed me for a last time before he slammed the door shut.
I sighed, satisfied that he remembered to close it. Not long after they left, Gourabh came back just to open the door and leave like he did the best thing in his life.
"Hey, hey, close the door. What the—" Before I could finish, he was out of sight.
Gourabh was the silent type for the most part. He did stuff like that instead of yelling like Ankit and that was worse. I mean, yell and shout. Don't keep the door open. Don't expect me to get up and close. I wanted to say that out loud but as always I didn't.
I got up to close it myself and dropped to my bed, hoping to use some sleep. My phone buzzed next to me but I was too tired now to pick it up. Switching that damn thing off, I stared up, wondering what tomorrow will be like.
★★★
"Wow, this is nice!" Abhiraj squealed to see the apartment. This is just a 5 min walk from the Market. It was even my first time visiting this place. It was a 5-storey building apartment, well cleaned and well maintained.
I never heard much about this one as it looked like my father and brothers didn't manage this place and I wasn't much interested in the market earlier anyway. I just knew that this land belonged to my maternal grandparents who gifted this to my parents as a wedding gift. Might I add— as a 'friendly' dowry?
"You are telling me you never once visited?" Abhiraj, who couldn't believe me, just walked around and pulled out his phone to take a picture. "If I settle in that market, I will stay here with my Shruti."
First of all, I wonder why I brought him along with me. I didn't want to but he met us on our way here and suddenly tagged along for a reason that was so far-fetched that I don't even know what to say.
"You are not settling there so come out of your dreams. Keep searching for a job. It's temporary." I couldn't help but say that out loud. Well, it's not like Payal and I can keep this act up forever.
I turned to see her staring at me before nodding in agreement. "Right. I am not planning to stay forever."
"Anyway, I can just marry her when she says and get a job in the market. We have to get married someday." He chuckled and walked ahead.
"First tell your parents about Shruti. What a daydreamer!" I shook my head only to hear the voice of my mind. You should be the last one to say that, mister.
Closing my eyes shut and cursing my mocking mind silently, I turned to see Payal looking around. It seemed like she was in deep thought. I walked over next to her and while I hesitated if I should put my hand on her shoulders, she turned back.
I nearly staggered back but controlled myself anyway. "Siddharth, I don't want to trouble you. Are you really okay about this? I am so worried that I could die."
I realized then that I made her uncomfortable somehow. Maybe it was my demeanor, my attitude towards all this. I couldn't be the sport and handle it. I never did anything with so much trouble, so much responsibility I never really stuck around trouble for long. Now that it was about my father and everything close to home, I wanted to run away like every time but I decided to stay back for her. For myself.
"I am doing this for myself so you shouldn't worry." My eyes were steadier than I expected them to be. "Come. Let's talk to the secretary." I held out my hands when she looked at them for a long time. As I saw the creases on her forehead relaxed, she kept her sweaty palms over mine.
"Let's go then." She looked more determined now, still nervous though as we walked side by side.
I looked at the corner to see Abhiraj winking at me, walking ahead as if he was not noticing us. For the first time, I was genuinely happy to have him as a friend.
"I called up the secretary. She must be coming soon," I announced and not long after that, I saw a lady, dressed in a casual saree, coming towards us.
"Oh, are you the young girl who wanted the flat?" She was an old lady around her fifties. She had an energy about her as she smiled at Payal brightly while Payal, being the social butterfly, started interacting with her so well in an instant. It felt like I was seeing two friends with an age difference.
"Oh no, Aunty, what are you talking about? Your hair is so good even at your age." Not a lie though. She had thick black hair, tied up with a clip.
Her mood lighted so much at her words that it was visible on her face. She was so happy that it looked like she was smiling with her eyes. Then she turned to us and her smile turned to a null expression. "Who are you both?"
"Ah, he is my —" Payal was interrupted by a familiar voice that rang in the atmosphere. That voice was powerful yet carried an affection and warmth with it. We all looked behind the shoulders of the old lady and there she stood. "Mrs Rai, wait a minute."
I staggered back, tempted to cover up my face with both my hands. I saw Abhiraj's face going from confused to grave real quick and as Payal stood there, with zero idea about what should be the question she should ask, I knew what the answer would be.
The woman behind her was my mother.
~•~
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