I had toyed with the idea of staying a few times, but it just didn't feel right. However little respect I had left for Jan, I didn't want to take up space in his apartment. So, I did the mature thing and left.
'Here's my number. Message me when you're home safe.' Kris said gently, handing me a small slip of paper before helping me into the car. I was a total mess; mascara ran maniacally down my cheeks, before falling off them and staining my top a deep black. Once we'd stepped out of the comfort of the apartment block and into the cold, I had begun to shake again, the tears that remained on me now causing my face to feel freezing.
'Here's my number. Message me when you're home safe.' Kris said gently, handing me a small slip of paper before helping me into the car.
Those words made my heart sink even further.
'Lilia? Are you okay?'
He checked his phone and I watched as he fell deeper into the bench, frustrated that he didn't have time to explain himself. Knowing that we were about to part, he hastily pulled a pen from his pocket and used his teeth to rip a receipt in half, jotting something down from his phone. Once he was done and had read it over, he handed it to me.
It was just a piece of paper full of numbers.
'Maths? Really?' I questioned. Surely not? There was no way that he had spent this whole night with me to top it off with some homework.
'Don't tell me you don't know what a phone number is either.' he laughed, and then suddenly became serious when he saw that I was deadpan.
'It's a phone number, Lilia.' he stated.
'Yours?'
'No, the taxi man's.'
My face fell further.
'Of course it's mine, Lilia.'
My cheeks flushed when he said my name. He was just so gorgeous - the way he fixed his hair when he spoke, the warm smile he gave to show he was listening - that I couldn't contain my excitement when he spoke exclusively to me.
A horn sounded in the distance, spoiling the moment, and I knew it was time to go. I stood, practically fell into him, and then turned off towards the car.
'Lilia?'
I turned back.
'Call me when you're home safe.'
'Lilia?' He repeated. That's odd, I thought. This isn't part of the memory.
'Lilia?' Kris' voice cut through my reminiscence, snapping me out of it, and I turned up to face him. My eyes were glass; one wrong move and they'd break, melting into liquid that would stream down out of them. I was careful not to adjust my vision too much, in fear that I'd release an involuntary tear.
'You've got everything, haven't you?' he asked calmly, standing in the gap between the doorcand the seat where I was, blocking any sun that remained behind him. It was just setting now, reminding me of the end of not only the day, but this little chapter in my life, that had brought me so much joy in such short a time.
'I've got everything, yes.' I struggled to say, choking back any wetness that attempted to coat my eyes. I knew that even if I had left something behind, it was too late to go back.
'If you need anything, call me.'
'I will.' I paused, thinking of what to say; sensing the taxi driver was getting impatient and knowing that these words were my last towards him. I would message him to tell him when I arrived back at the house, but no more after that.
'Thank you for everything, Kris. You've done so much for me. I'll always be grateful for that.' I smiled warmly, the first time I had properly since the breakfast in the morning.
'You're welcome.' He smiled too. For a moment, I forgot the circumstances - it was like everything had reverted back to how it was the previous night, before everything started to go wrong. 'Goodbye, Lilia.'
'Goodbye, Kris.'
With that, he shut the door.
The car began to move immediately, jolting me a bit. This was the end of it - and it hadn't at all concluded in a way I expected. As the driver performed a U-turn, I was instantly brought down from the high of the last few days. Now, I would have to return home, to where I had lived all my life. Where nothing interesting ever happened. However bad the outcome to the last week or so, it had been one of the best times I had experienced - I had felt alive.
We drove down the street, the roar of the engine producing the only sound I could hear. I looked out of the window and saw each of the sights I had viewed this morning again: the arena, the dock, the ferris wheel, Jan...
Jan?
I was sure I could see him, speedwalking down the road towards the taxi. Like he knew I was inside. But as we passed, he just continued in his current direction. There was me, thinking he was coming to stop us.
Idiotic, I know.
I turned around to look at him; he just carried on down towards the apartment block. When he reached it, he flung the door open and rushed in, avoiding the two figures behind him, who I assumed were Bojan and Jure. The blonde shrugged; the brunette took the initiative and ran in after him, probably shouting.
Maybe I was seeing things.
Maybe I needed more than just iron tablets.
~•~
After what had felt like hours due to the silence, we arrived at our destination - my childhood home. I felt so much older than I had done when I left, despite only aging a few days.
As the car ground to a halt, I picked up the bags beside me on the seat, placing my phone in my pocket so that I could carry them more easily. I had just been anxiously scrolling around different social media apps for the entire journey, refreshing my emails at least once a minute just to pass the time. It didn't help much, since the tasks were so absentminded that I could keep my focus on other matters at the same time.
I pulled a £5 out of my jacket, which the driver thanked me for. After that, I bundled out of the car, almost falling over due to the weight I was carrying. Only a few metres now though, I thought, as I trudged up the drive.
Before I was even close to the door, it flew open.
'Lily, baby.' my mum cried, barreling out of the door and pulling me into her arms. Due to the weight, she almost fell over, but despite this, she still held onto me tightly. 'You're home. You're home.' As she repeated this, she squeezed me tighter - almost as if she didn't hold me close to her, I'd evaporate into thin air. I felt her tears fall onto my hair, leaking through the thick layers and landing on my scalp.
A few footsteps followed her bawling, and it wasn't long before my dad was hugging me too. 'We were so worried about you, Lilia. Please don't do that again.'
After a few moments, they pulled away. My father took my bags into the house, while my mother held my hand and lead me inside, into the living room, where we sat down on the sofa to face each other.
'You've been crying.' Although this was a statement, it was her way of demanding an explanation.
'Yes, mum.' I answered in a hurt voice, breaking the eye contact in fear my waterworks would begin again.
'What happened, baby?'
I could've cried so hard, fallen into her arms and sobbed until there was nothing left of me. I wasn't sure there was much left to lose. But I decided against it - I needed to rant everything out.
~•~
'...and he probably doesn't even care about any of this. He was so fucking nice too, until I realised everything I'd missed.' I finished, dropping myself back into the sofa. I felt freer now that I'd let all of the drama out, like a songbird released from its cage. Now, my mother knew everything as well as I did.
'Did he apologise?' she asked me.
'He denied it. One of his friends told me that the condom incident was his fault, which I believe, but where's the explanation for everything else?'
'I'm not sure, Lil.' she sighed, like she'd run out of ideas to attempt to amend the situation. 'They're not all bad, you know. There'll be someone out there.'
'That's what I thought this time, mum.' My eyes welled up and I pulled my feet up, forming a ball, and I began to rock back and forth. 'Shit, I forgot to message Kris.'
'One of the band?' she questioned, looking concerned.
'He booked the taxi for me to get back home.' I explained simply.
'You need to stop trusting random men, Lilia.' she warned, but she seemed secretly relieved that I wasn't trusted to get back alone.
'Kris is nice, unlike someone.' I answered, grabbing my phone and immediately becoming absorbed by the homepage. I turned off the do not disturb feature that I'd had on in the car, and it started to glitch due to the onslaught of incoming notifications. Missed calls, new messages, and the odd few app updates.
I noticed that most were from Jan.
Jan
19:16
Please give me a chance to explain, this is all a huge misunderstanding
19:24
Lilia, please answer my call
19:56
I want to fix this
Almost as if on cue, the phone began to ring the moment I finished reading the last message. I declined it, and instead began to write a message to Kris, who's name I'd put into my phone on the drive.
Kris
20:27
Home safe :)
I put the face at the end so that he would know I was feeling slightly better; as much better as someone facing such a hard situation could.
Again, Single Ladies by Beyonce rang out across the room.
'Who's that?' asked my mum, who realised as soon as the words left her mouth. Ignoring her, I went into his contact and deleted it, exhaling deeply as I did so. I didn't block his number, just removed his name - it wouldn't stop him from calling, but I had such a short memory. I was sure that I would soon forget that the number was ever even his.
I was wrong. I was unable to forget how the combination of numbers represented him as he called every so often.
Weeks passed, and I still couldn't bring myself to answer the phone.
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
Hello everyone! It's been a while since I addressed everyone at the end of a chapter rather than on my Conversations board.
I'd just like to say that I've been loving all of the comments people have been leaving on the chapters - especially when people leave lots of them as they read! It's been really nice to see where everyone's thoughts are, so I suppose this is just encouraging you to drop your feelings whenever possible!! I can't even explain how happy it makes me when someone writes even just a few words under a certain paragraph or sentence, it helps me to place how you all feel about what's going on and lets me live the story through you all - I'm the writer, remember, so I already know where the story goes, so it's nice to see other people read it for the first time.
Please keep it up!!
I hope you're all enjoying Metulji. :)