metulji - jan peteh

Concert - Jan POV

Back in Ljublana, where the summer season had taken the city into pleasant song, I felt oddly at peace. Like I had been reunited with a part of me that had been left far away as we'd toured the regions. Almost as if it had come back for me; despite the fact that I'd abandoned it. It rested close to me now, just out of reach; I was sure I could reach out and grab it while performing tonight, completing me again.

I gently plucked the strings of my guitar, playing a short, absentminded tune to myself; I was too deep in thought to focus. The light strumming caused me to sway my head a little, closing my eyes and losing myself in the ditty as I continued.

Due to my position off the corner of an alleyway, I satisfied myself with the knowledge that nobody would hear or notice me - round the back of the venue where the bins lay silent, my only audience. Not a single person would hear me playing on the small acoustic; this was my moment to space myself out and get in the calm headspace I needed to make it work tonight. To not have another outburst as I had done the previous weekend.

'Jan.' a voice appeared suddenly, breaking my train of thought and causing me to drop the guitar into my lap.

'Nace.' I replied, repositioning my head slightly to see him stood where the small side-street bent towards the doorway. I exhaled deeply; grateful that it was him and not anyone else. 'What's up?'

'We're on not too long from now.' he informed me, and I too could see the sun begin to drop over the horizon, casting a yellowy haze over the windows in the distance. 'An hour.' he corrected, seeing my attempts to read the scene and estimate the current time.

'I'll be inside in a few minutes.' I smiled warmly. He received my intended message and nodded, somewhat awkwardly, before giving me a quick wave and heading back through the door, leaving me and my thoughts alone to investigate each other.

The period I'd had off had been used well; I'd occupied myself with various tasks, including cleaning up the apartment bit-by-bit, in order to distract myself from my feelings. I'd slowly felt them drain away down the sinkhole; I wasn't being weighed down as much by her anymore. Yet even now, I could still hear the faint dripping of the tap as the last ones left for good. However close I was getting to 'okay', there would always be a small voice in the back of my mind which would question about what could have been. I shook it off now; picking myself up and heading back inside.

I headed down the corridor to the room which vibrated with sound; knowing that this was where I would find the rest of the group.

Sure enough, as I entered, the four of them slouched around a table littered with beer bottles. Propping my guitar against the wall, I went to sit with them them.

'Decided to join us, have we?' Bojan mocked, putting on a posh British accent and placing his hands neatly over one knee. He stared at me, batting his eyelashes; I gave him a light push that caused him to almost fall out of his seat.

'Yeah.' I replied, practically throwing myself onto the sofa, which rocked Jure and Bojan as I landed. The intensity of my drop also provoked a large groan from the couch itself, that I dismissed as it already being broken before.

'You can pretty much hear them from here.' Kris commented from across the table, silencing us all with a wave of his hand. Sound thumped out of a nearby speaker, yet the chatter of an excited crowd managed to buzz louder. 'How the fuck did we get here?' he laughed in disbelief.

'By car, Kris.' Bojan pretended to be serious, which invoked another round of sniggers from the whole group.

'But, seriously, we're going to smash them up.' he added, raising a beer into the air. Although it was half full, we all cheered to his toast. 'To smashing crowds.' He declared, raising his eyebrows suggestively.