metulji - jan peteh

JAN POV - Condoms

I'm in with you tonight, Bojči.' I announced as I entered the room, removing my shirt and throwing myself onto the bed to decompress.

'Glad to have you here, mate.' he dropped into a British accent at the end. 'Seriously can't believe your new girl's English.'

'Guess they just do it better.' I responded, staring up at the ceiling. Getting in bed with Bojan wasn't exactly what I'd had planned tonight, but neither was Lilia coming to stay with us.

I'd had to take her off to bed after her practically passing out on my shoulder. Helping her into my bed, she'd began to cry, and had begged me to stay with her. So I did, for a time.

'Please, Jan.' she asked as I'd gone to exit the room. Her eyes were full of longing and need. I couldn't leave her, not in such a vulnerable state. Walking back over, almost collapsing, I held her over the covers, eventually sliding under to meet her cool body and warm her. She had been shaking, worried about her issues with her parents.

'What if they never take me back, Jan?'

I knew it wasn't that serious, but she was drunk and overwhelmed.

'You can stay with us. I make great štruklji.' It was a false promise, but helped to calm her down - I noticed she had stopped quivering, and her tears seemed to slow. She turned over and buried herself in my chest, drifting off as she finally gave in to her urge to rest, falling asleep as quickly as she'd started to break down. Her hair smelled of coconut and floral scents that I couldn't quite place.

I didn't leave her like that, I waited for her to roll over and give me an opportunity to exit without waking her, which didn't happen for a while. Despite being completely asleep, she didn't let go of the tight grasp she had on my shirt, like she'd lose me if she loosened up. I stroked her head gently and planted a few kisses on it, to let her know how valuable she was. Her parents would never turn their backs on such a beautiful and angelic girl.

'What are you gonna do when we go back to Slovenia?' asked Bojan, taking a quick swig from the beer bottle in his hand. 'You can't exactly bring her back with you.'

'We'll sort it out, nearer the time.'

'Nearer the time? Jan, we have less than a week.' he pleaded, more for Lilia's sake than mine. 'You wouldn't want her to do it to you.'

'And I won't do it to her either.' I spat. He seriously could not trust me with a girl, like he wasn't a bit of a fuckboy himself. I would leave it a few days, then break her the news, so it wouldn't be as hard on her. I planned to spend plenty more time with her before the time came for us to leave.

'If you were going to hurt her, why not just have a one night stand?' he asked seriously, turning to me and tapping me on the shoulder so that I would face him.

'Because I like her, Bojči. You wouldn't know anything about that.' I elbowed him playfully, but he edged away.

'But will you love her?'

'Yes. Always.' I promised. When I looked to see if Bojan was still listening, I saw his eyelids dropping as he struggled to grasp the beer bottle. I pried it from his hands and set it on my bedside.

All that remained was radio silence.

~0~

I got up early in the morning, having sobered up quickly after getting back to the apartment last night.

Last night.

Lilia.

I tried to move carefully to not wake Bojan up, but he stirred anyway. Shit. He was not going to be pleased.

'What the fuck, Jan?' he moaned, turning over to avoid me. 'Go fuck your girlfriend or something.' He shoved his hand into my face and rubbed it around, as revenge, before proceeding to pick up my pillow and wrap it around his head, groaning into it loudly.

There was a mirror next to the door - I took my fingers through my beard and hair a few times before leaving the bedroom. Lilia would never message me until the early hours of the afternoon - I assumed she was a late sleeper - but I went to check in on her anyway. In the corridor, Nace was heading to the bathroom; he stopped and walked over to me when he saw I was there.

'You've got a girl in your bed and you slept with Bojan?' he laughed, assuming I'd say no.

'I respect her.' I replied, knowing he'd be shocked. Needless to say he was, but I didn't acknowledge that. 'Better than sleeping with Maček.'

'Okay, I get I lost the bet, but it was a pile of shit anyway.'

'Excuses.' I joked, but it was true - him and Jure had been the first to fall asleep once we got here, and there were only four rooms, so the rest of us ran off to pick. They weren't pleased when they woke up, but it wasn't our fault they were passed out on the sofa. After being insanely drunk. Jack Daniels was their weakness.

'You've been in to see her?' he questioned. I shook my head.

'Enjoy!' he rushed back to the bathroom, opening cupboards rapidly until he found whatever he was looking for. Once he did, he raced straight out again. 'Condom.' he presented.

'What? Who brought those?' I asked, taking it out of his hand to look at it. Sex was the last thing on my mind, but Nace was insistent that I had it.

'Maček.'

'Of course.' I sighed. 'Enjoy your shower, too.'

Before I could reach out to him, he was in the bathroom again. I rolled my eyes in jest and edged off towards the end of the corridor, to my room.

Placing my ear onto the door, I knocked gently onto it, waiting for a sound of her rousing from sleep. I heard nothing.

'Why are you knocking on your own door? Fucking odd.' Maček appeared out of literal thin air. 'Oh shit, she's in there.' he recounted, rubbing his head. Hungover. I expected nothing different. 'Surprised you're not. Then again, you won't even open the door.'

'I don't want to wake her up.' I answered honestly. He laughed straight into my face.

'Open the door, Peteh. She's not going to jump at you.'

I sighed, yet again, before propping the door open slightly. Through the slit, I could see her pretty clearly - in exactly the same position I'd left her in, rolled completely over to face the window. I wished I could see her face, know how she felt.

'You sure she's real?' Jure peeked under where my head was. 'Jan brings a real girl back? First time for everything.' He mocked shock, faking fainting, and almost falling directly into the room. I lightly pushed him out of the way, before shutting the door slowly.

'And you've got a condom? Jesus, you should be the one sharing a room with Nace. At least I'm trustworthy.'

'Says the one who brought them.' I shrugged, before walking to the living room.