say you'll see me again / even if it's just in your / wildest dreams
By the time I woke up, it was already noon and I found myself alone in his bed. I was hoping that Ryker would be here with me but I knew that he was an Alpha and he had tons of things to do other than to stay in bed, waiting for me to wake up. I stretched my tired and sore body then swung my legs to one side of the bed, getting up. Out of habit, I folded the blanket and tidied the bed before I walked out of his bedroom, closed the door behind me, and made my way downstairs.
I knew something was up the minute I saw Eros and Dmitry tucked in one corner of the kitchen. They were the most unlikely pairing and having both of them ducked their heads, deep in a hushed conversation was another indication that something was not right.
"Good morning," I greeted them but none were replying so I tried again louder this time.
Only then, did my best friend turn to face me and offered me a small smile. "Morning, Xy."
"Hey, I know you still don't want to face Seb yet, so I figure that I could lend you my place for the time being." I dug my pocket for keys then handed them to him. "You can stay at my house as long as you want." I'd thought of this and it was the best solution that I could come up with. Since there was no way Eros would stay in that apartment after what had happened there, I figured letting him stay would make him happy.
"Yeah," he accepted the keys and shoved them inside the pocket of his jeans. "Thanks." There was that awkward look in his blue-green eyes that told me something was most definitely wrong. Something that he and Dmitry had been discussing.
"What is it?" I inquired. "What's wrong? I know something is up and you both aren't telling me." Eros ducked his head and stared at the ground so I moved to face Dmitry. Eros might try to save my feelings or not worry me because he was my best friend but I knew Dmitry, he was an emotionless man, he didn't care enough for me to hide the truth. I knew I could count on his bluntness to tell me so I inched my way to him until we were only a few feet apart. "Dmitry, what is it?"
For the first time, I saw conflict in his deep molten chocolate eyes. He actually looked unsure whether he would tell me or not. Right in one moment that I thought I could count on him to tell me point blank the truth, he was feeling conflicted and being all indecisive and secretive. "Oh, come on. Whatever it is, it can't be that bad, right? What is it? Are you two now in love or something? Is that why you both are so close and being so discreet just now?" I laughed, shaking my head. In all honesty, I found them to be an unlikely pairing but I also knew that not until a month ago, I would've thought the same thing about Ryker and me yet here we were right now. Happy and together. Although I wouldn't call it 'love' or that we were 'soulmates' but I could guarantee that we were so damned close to those terms. Being with Ryker had brought me joy, more than I'd like to admit. And being together also brought the same joy to Eros and Dmitry, I'd be more than happy for them. "I won't oppose your relationship. I'm all about love beyond gender. We should be allowed — no, we 'are' allowed to love whoever we love, whoever our hearts belong to. Don't let stupid old doctrine or anyone tell you that a man should only love a woman or vice versa. We love who we love, okay?"
Both Eros and Dmitry shared a look before both focusing their eyes on me. Then I saw a sliver of sadness in their eyes. I even caught a pity on my best friend's blue-green eyes. At last, Eros sighed and placed one hand on my shoulder. He leaned forward until his face was leveled with mine. I would've been pissed at how he tried to talk to me as if I was five years old, but the look on his face silenced my protest. Instead, I waited for him to speak, anxiously waiting on what he'd like to tell me. "Xy, it's not about Dmitry and me. We don't feel that way toward each other. It's about you."
A surge of relief washed over me. "What about me? I'm fine." I chuckled. They were being worried for nothing. Wanting to assure them further, I added, "Look, I know I was mad at Ryker before but I'm fine, we're fine now. We haven't talked in a while since you know, you lost your memory and stuff, but Ryker has explained to me about everything and I no longer have any grudge against him or anything you might be worried about. We're fine, Er. Don't worry about me," I tried to reassure him.
His eyes grew sadder and he tightened his hold on my shoulder. "Xy, Ryker is gone."
"W-what?" I looked at him then moved my gaze to Dmitry. "What is he talking about?" Then my eyes were on Eros again. "What are you talking about? What do you mean he's gone? He was fine last night."
"He left," Dmitry finally said. His hand moved and that was when I saw a white envelope that he'd been holding. He handed it to me. "He left this for you."
I stared at the envelope for a long time, having no intention of taking it. "You're joking, right? Please tell me this is just a sick joke! That you both are trying to prank me! This isn't funny, lads! I am seriously going to be pissed right now."
Dmitry's face was emotionless. "Read it and you will understand."
All the three of us remained in silence for a long time before I took a deep breath and grabbed the envelope. I tore the envelope open and pulled the folded paper out. Then I began to read. I read it once. Twice. Three times. And I still believed that I was dreaming. I curled my free hand, the one that wasn't holding the piece of paper, into a fist. My nails bit my skin, breaking the surface until they drew blood and I was convinced that this was a painful reality and not a dream.
"He rejected me," I finally said to no one. "Ryker rejected me as his mate. He left. Even after what happened, after what we have shared together." My voice broke. As did my heart.
"That fucking bastard," Eros cursed out loud.
Dmitry's only comment was, "He has his reason."
"He told me to move on." I looked up and met Dmitry's deep brown eyes. "He told me to forget him and give you a chance. What kind of sick joke is this? Where the hell is he?"
"He is gone," answered Dmitry. "He has long gone for hours now and you will not be able to find him."
"You have that mind link thing with him, right?" I asked, looking at him expectantly. "Tell him to come back. Tell him that I demand an explanation."
"He has left the pack. That severs whatever ties we have." Dmitry shook his head. His face remained impassive and it angered me so much. His Alpha, his best friend had just left and he showed very little care and no emotion. Was he even human? "I can no longer connect my mind with him."
"Then do something!" I shoved him with my hand out of frustration. It did nothing to him, he didn't even flinch. I was almost convinced he was made of stone.
"There is nothing to be done. He has made his decision." Dmitry gave me a hard look, I could see a flicker of anger there and wasn't sure whether it was for me or for Ryker. It didn't matter either way. "You should respect his decision."
I'd spent the next three days locked up in Ryker's bedroom. Everything ached the first two days but now I felt numb. I felt nothing. There was a massive hole in my heart when he'd left and I was convinced that I couldn't fill it no matter what I did. No one could replace him. Dmitry checked up on me every hour of every day, bringing me food. Eros persuaded me to eat and get out of bed. Even Trish tried to get me off the bed and go to London with her, promising a week full of parties and stress-free. None of them succeeded. I was wasting away in those blankets, inhaling his smell and hoping that he would return. Funny enough, I hadn't cried. Not one single tear. Not until Dmitry knocked on the door and let himself in one afternoon.
He caught me hugging Ryker's pillow and burying my face there. I knew how pathetic I looked but I didn't care. He who mattered most had rejected me and left me. Nothing else mattered. Not anymore.
"You should clean up and eat. Living a sedentary life for long periods of time can cause damage to your physical health, not to mention your mental health too. You can develop poor blood circulation, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, blood clots, metabolic syndrome, and even death. The muscles that were in an elongated position will become used to this and want to stay elongated. The muscles that were in a shortened position will become used to this and will want to remain shortened. As a result, your body essentially becomes dysfunctional," he explained at great length. "Combined with not eating, at this rate, your body will give in and you will die."
I dragged my eyes to meet his. He was standing by the bed. A look of concern filled his face. Under normal circumstances, I would've been surprised to witness that many emotions on his face. "It doesn't matter," I replied. My voice was hoarse and my throat hurt just by speaking those simple three words after not speaking or drinking anything for three days.
I moved my gaze elsewhere, not wanting to have another look at Dmitry and see how pathetic my current condition was in his eyes. I heard him making noises around Ryker's sofa but wasn't interested in seeing what he was doing. A few minutes later, he surprised me by lifting my body off the bed with his muscled arms. "Put me down!" I tried to yell but all I could manage was a loud whisper instead.
"I am not letting you waste away in these sheets doing nothing but die!" he growled at me for the first time. Then he brought me to the sofa and put me down. "Drink!" he ordered, pointing at a cup of tea he had made for me. "And eat." He pushed a plate full of crackers. "Eat small and periodically so you will not upset your stomach."
Surprised by his anger, I tried grabbing the teacup but my hand was too weak. Dmitry grabbed it for me and placed it against my bottom lips. "Drink slowly," his voice was once again controlled and soft. After I finished taking a few sips, he put the teacup back on the table and reached for the crackers. "I am afraid you have to eat bland simple food now until your body turns back to normal."
I let him feed me two crackers before leaning my back against the sofa and staring blankly at the ceiling. Upon feeling his warm touch on my hand, I glanced down to see him wrapping his hand on mine. Slowly I dragged my eyes up past his muscled arm to his shoulder and up until my eyes locked with his rich chocolaty eyes. "There is a well-established neural connection between the lacrimal gland and the brain limbic system associated with emotion. Stifling your body's need to cry in an emotionally difficult situation is unhealthy, Xyrra."
And that was when the dam finally broke and tears started streaming down my face uncontrollably. Once I started, I couldn't stop. Dmitry held me against his chest, but when my tears started wetting the front of his shirt, I tried to back away but his arms enveloped me, preventing me from doing so. He moved his hand up and down my back, caressing me like I was a lost child and he was trying to comfort me.
"If he does not plan to return," Dmitry muttered against my head, "then you should be the one to bring him home, Xyrra Ascroft. You are the only one who can."
"He rejected me, Dmitry," I managed to say through my sobs.
"But not because he does not love you," he replied. "It is because he loves you too much that he did what is necessary, what he thought was best for you."
I backed away slowly then looked Dmitry in the eye. "What do you mean?"
Dmitry took a deep breath. He had one hand cupping the side of my face as he said, "Ryker is infected by the Mad Wolf disease. That is the real reason why he left."
888888888
Dear Readers, anyone's still here? Please leave a comment ("Yes") on this line to let this author know.
Reason being is because this author is torn whether or not to publish the 2nd part/chapter/book (;
even if it's just stayed in your wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha in your wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha~~~