Janet
Today is the first night of my tour. I can't say I'm in the best mood though, and I need to be by tonight. Everything going on personally just sucks. Everyone knows it because my expression shows it. I can't have the audience see that.
"J," Gil said, making me turn towards him.
"How you feeling?"
I shrugged and sat up in my chair. "I don't know...I mean, I'm excited, but—" I trailed off.
"E?" He stood in front of me, and I looked up at him.
"...Yeah," my eyes watered, and with my makeup already on, that's not good.
Gil quickly grabbed a tissue and put it under my eye. "Unt uh bitch, don't mess this makeup up," he warned.
I fanned my face and looked up. "Dammit Gil, you started it," I laughed.
"Well just forget I asked," he said, taking the tissue away from my eye.
He brushed it over my lip and sucked his teeth. "She really boxed your shit. Maybe you should get that checked out because it looks painful and it ain't going away. Hell, you might need stitches."
"It's fine."
I looked in the mirror and pulled my lip down to see it. It was still a pretty bad cut. When she hit my lip, my teeth cut into it. I thought it would be fine until a bruise darkened the area. That's why I had makeup on it at the award show, but now it's just a bad cut on the inside. I can deal with it.
"Didn't you say it was bleeding the other day?"
"Gil, it's fine."
I heard a knock on the door, and we both looked at it. When it opened, Toni walked in with Jayla.
"Damn, he doesn't even wanna see me huh?" I asked, shaking my head, referring to Elijah.
"We were just talking about you." Gil said.
Jayla smiled and reached out her arms to me, which she's starting to do a lot. For four months, she does a lot.
I picked her up, and she immediately laid her head on my shoulder.
"Why?" Toni asked with a confused look on her face.
"How you must've thought you were Ali hitting my best friend like that," he raised his hand to point at my lip.
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "I had my reasons, but... I did already apologize for it."
"It wasn't sincere," I shot back.
"Well, I said it,"
I scoffed and shook my head. "Whatever Toni."
"Anyway, we just came to tell you good luck. I didn't come here to argue." She said.
I forced a smile. "Thank you,"
All I can do now is try to push those thoughts to the back of my head.
Another knock on the door, but this time in came Joey.
"Janet I thought you were already down for your interview." He said, shocked to see me.
"What interview—"
Then it dawned on me. I completely forgot about that. "Shit, uh...alright, I'll be down there."
Toni reached out to take Jayla back, and when she left my arms, she started to cry.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry; I'll be back," I told her.
She was screaming bloody murder, and it's not like I haven't seen her in awhile. I don't like to see her cry like this.
"I'll take her with me. It's a short interview about the show. You can come too and take her once I'm done." I grabbed her back, and she returned to her place on my shoulder.
We walked out of the dressing room, and Joey was walking quickly down the hallway, probably because I was already late. I don't even want to talk to this lady right now. An interview was the last thing I looked forward to. That's probably why I forgot.
Once we made it to the room, me and Joey walked in, but Toni stayed outside the door. I guess that's a good idea. The public now thinks we're together...but we're not. We're just not ready to announce our separation. We haven't even dealt with it ourselves.
The woman stood up from her chair and greeted me. "Hello Janet!" She exclaimed.
Jayla sat her head up, and the woman cooed. "And you brought the baby," she said softly.
"Yeah, she wanted to come with me, so here we are," I replied.
We walked over to the chairs and sat across from each other. Joey stood over to the side.
"We gotta get right to it because this was a little late." She said.
"I know, I'm sorry; I forgot all about this," I apologized.
"Cameras rolling. countdown 5...4..."
Of course Jayla decides she wants to move all around once we're on air.
"Good afternoon everyone. My name is Sarah, and today we're at a very special place. With a very special guest. Two actually!" She said loudly.
I sat Jayla up in my lap, and she played with my hand.
"We're at the one and only...Janet Jackson's concert!"
The camera was on me now, and I gave the best smile I could.
"Janet, how are you?" She asked, holding cards in her hands.
I nodded and took a deep breath. "I'm...doing alright," I said truthfully.
"Are you excited for tonight? This is your first big tour in three years since Unbreakable."
"Yeah, I am excited. We've worked really hard to get this tour together, and I'm happy with the results," I answered.
"What can we expect tonight?" She asked crossing her legs.
Jayla leaned back in my arms, and I thought about the question. "It's different...uh, energetic...fun. Something I think; hope, everyone will enjoy." I said.
"And we are all so excited. Any opening acts?"
I shook my head. "No, there isn't."
"Will we maybe see Toni out on the stage tonight? You know like the unbreakable tour she came out on.... what was the song?"
"All For You," A producer said from the back.
"Yes, that. You know ATL was her home town before, so can we expect to see her?"
Why would she ask me that? I know she knows about the drama surrounding us right now, and wasn't this supposed to be about the show only? But then again we just told the world we were still together...maybe that's our fault.
"Um...no, no." was all I said.
"Alright...ok. Not to get all personal and stuff, but are you all...?" She didn't clearly finish her question.
"Are we what? Still together...what does that have to do with the show tonight?" I asked annoyed.
"I mean I saw the interview you all did at the Billboard awards-"
"There's your answer. Thats it." I said back seriously.
She laughed. "Moving on, I guess,"
I want to leave already. People have no respect.
•••
After the interview, I made my way back to my dressing room to get ready. We're two hours away from show time.
Nervous is a huge understatement.
I'm just afraid I won't put on a good show. With everything going on, it's hard to focus on a show. Normally it's easy to do. I've never really had problems like this going on before a tour.
My mother recommended I talk to Dr Smith, and so did Toni after what's been going on between all of us. I just don't think I want to do that right now. Not again.
I have to go out there and put on a front like everything's okay when it's not. Maybe we're better off telling the truth. It'll probably bring relief to us all.