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⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
- mention of suicide
July 14th, Friday 2023
Blue Ivy Knowles
10:00 am
This is mainly filler chapter so sorry 😭
I lay down in my hotel bed with Nydia laying down next to me. I hold my controller in my hand as I play Spider-Man.
"You're so pretty." Nydia whispers as she plays with my braids
"Thank you." I reply
"I love you." She whispers
"I love you back." I reply
"I do want to be your girlfriend." I tell her before pausing my game
"You do?" She asks me
"Yes." I reply while smiling slightly
She smiles widely then she looks down at her lap.
"Cool." She replies clearly trying to play it cool
"You're adorable." I reply then I lean over and I softly peck her lips
She rests her hand on my cheek and she kisses me again. My door immediately flys open and Rumi is standing right there. I immediately jump back once I see Rumi but she's standing there with her mouth widen open.
"Rumi.." I trail off as she stands there in shock
"Don't tell I'll give you-" by the time I finish my sentence I get cut off
"MOMMY!!!" Rumi exclaims loudly
My eyes widen and I immediately hop off the bed and I cover her mouth with my palm.
"Shut up!" I whisper loudly
She rolls her eyes then she moves my hand off of her mouth. Mom immediately comes walking into the bedroom and she looks around with a confused expression on her face.
"What happened?" She asks
"Blue is being nasty!" Rumi snitches
"No I'm not! she's lying." I reply quickly
Mom looks at me with the meanest expression I've ever seen then she looks back at Rumi.
"What did she do baby?" Mom asks in a gentle tone
"Her and Nydia were kissing!" She says
I look at Nydia who's looking down with an embarrassed expression on her face. I roll my eyes while crossing my arms. Rumi is such a snitch, what the hell?
"Nydia is that true?" Mom asks her as she turns her back to me so she can look at Nydia
"Um.." Nydia stammers as she looks at me
I shake my head no as I look back at her. Mom quickly turns around but I immediately stop shaking my head. Mom turns her head back to Nydia while resting her hand on my back.
"Yes ma'am.." Nydia admits
I let out a loud annoyed groan as I sit on the edge of the table.
"I'm sorry." Nydia mouths to me
"Nydia can you go out there with Sir and Rumi for a second?" Mom asks her
"Okay Mrs Knowles.." Nydia whispers then she slyly rubs my back in a reassuring way before getting off the bed and walking out of the room
Mom closes the door behind her then she sits next to me.
"I told you stop being grown, did it not?" She asks
"It was just a peck mom." I tell her while rolling my eyes
"Don't roll your eyes at me Blue." She says sternly
"You're being so dramatic! It's not that serious." I respond
"You and mama literally got together when you were sixteen." I add on whilst crossing my arms
"You're not sixteen you're eleven." She tells me in a stern tone
"Who cares!" I exclaim
"Do not yell at me Blue Ivy." She says to me
"I don't care." I say
"Alright. Give me your phone" She replies blankly
"What?" I question
"Give me your phone." She says again
"I didn't even do anything." I protest
"I don't even give a fuck about you kissing Nydia it's the fact you have an attitude." She explains while holding her hand out
I suck my teeth then I go into my pocket of my cargo pants and I pull out my phone before handing it to her.
"Your other phone too." She says
"But mom.." I trail off
"While you're at it give me your iPad and your Apple Watch." She adds on
She's doing too much. I think to myself but of course I'm not going to say that because I value my life.
I sigh softly then I go into the drawer and I grab my iPad, my Apple Watch, and my other iPhone. I hand it to her then I let out an annoyed groan.
"Thank you." Mom says sarcastically and I suck my teeth in response
"When are we going to rehearsal?" I change the subject
"Since you're grounded, you're not allowed to perform. Performing is a privilege and since you want to be smart I'm revoking that privilege for a few days." She replies
"You cannot be serious." I say
"Keep talking and it'll be the whole tour." She tells me
I sigh softly but I quickly decide to shut my mouth. I love performing and I don't want her to pull me out so I'm going to shut the hell up.
"I'm sorry." I apologize while looking down at my feet
"Listen. I'm not mad at you for kissing Nydia, that's not the issue. The issue is that you are being very disrespectful and you know I don't like being disrespected Blue Blue." She says in a gentle tone
"I know.." I whisper
"Sorry." I apologize again
"It's fine but you're still grounded Blue." She tells me
"Okay." I reply timidly
"Listen. Naomi is taking Nydia to Sky-zone and she asked me if you and the twins could go and I said yes. So if you still want to go, get dressed." She says
"Really? Thanks mom." I say sweetly
"Once you're done with that you aren't going anywhere for a while so take in that moment." She tells me in a stern voice
"Okay." I respond as she walks away
Once she leaves I roll my eyes
"So fucking dramatic." I whisper to myself
"What did you say?" Mom calls out
"Nothing mommy!" I respond
12:00 pm
"You look so pretty." Nydia tells me as she puts on her orange SkyZone socks
"Thank you so much, so do you." I reply while smiling widely before tucking my chain in my shirt
These two tall guys who look about 15 and 16 come up to us with a small microphone connected to their phone. Nydia slightly moves me behind her. I smile slightly as I rest my head on her shoulder.
"Can we ask y'all something?" He asks
"Uhm.." Nydia trails off before look at me with a confused expression
"I guess." I speak up
"Can we do a fit check with the total amount." The boy with the microphone says
"Umm is this going on tiktok?" Nydia asks while making eye contact with the camera
"Yes." The guy behind the camera says
"Okay um, my shirt is Louis Vuitton, my pants are just random jeans from target, my bracelet is Cartier, sunglasses are Prada, and my shoes are Nike Dunks." Nydia replies
"And total?" The guy says into the microphone before putting it back on her
"I don't know, ten thousand maybe? The bracelet is the most expensive thing on me right now." She replies before letting out a soft awkward laugh
"And what about you?" He asks me before putting the microphone onto me
I take my sunglasses off then I put them on my shirt.
"I don't want y'all to think like...I'm a brat or something. I'm not a brat I swear guys, I'm very appreciative for everything I have." I quickly clarify
"Okay." He says
"Let's see..these jeans are Diesel, sunglasses are Louis Vuitton, my bracelet is a cute cuban link from a jeweler that my parents love to go to." I say softly
"All of my jewelry is from the same jeweler, except for my chain. My chain is custom made I don't know who made it but yeah. My shoes are Marc Jacobs and my glasses are Prada as well.." I explain
"And this jersey is Ivy Park, it was free." I add on before laughing softly
"What's the total?" He asks
"Uhm.." I think out loud
"I don't want to say.." I whisper over to Nydia
"Her parents always taught her not to brag about money." Nydia says jokingly making me giggle
"Just give us a close number." He says
"I don't know like.. eighty thousand.." I mutter while looking down feeling slightly awkward
I hear the guy behind the phone gasp loudly. Nydia covers her mouth clearly trying to hold back a laugh.
"Don't have that reaction!" I exclaim jokingly making them laugh
"You have eighty thousand dollars of stuff on you right now?" He asks in shock
"Uhh..yeah." I reply while swaying side to side
I don't like talking about that money especially with people who aren't as wealthy as my family because it feels so awkward and uncomfortable.
"Anyways..how much do y'all have on you?" Nydia asks before taking the phone from the guy and turning it to them
I laugh softly then I grab microphone and I put it to the guy who was previously holding the microphone.
"This shirt is target so are these pants, my shoes are Jordan's, my belt is Gucci." He says in a manner like he's trying to impress us
I'm not gonna lie neither of these boys can dress plus that Gucci belt is clearly fake so I don't know why he's trying to impress us.
"The total is like 800 dollars." He says
"Cool. Well we gotta go so enjoy y'all's content." I say then I hand him the microphone back
"Wait can we get y'all's numbers?" The guy behind the camera asks
"Y'all don't even know our names nor do we know y'all's." Nydia replies with a slight attitude
"Well my name is Trey and that's Jamal." Trey says then he points to the guy holding the phone
"I'm Nydia this is Blue." Nydia says while pointing to herself before pointing to me
The boy lets out a loud ass gasp while looking me up and down.
"Wait Blue?" He asks
I let out a soft annoyed groan then I nod. Bro I just want to go jump on the trampoline in peace.
"As in Blue Ivy?" He says again
"Yup that's me.." I reply lowly
"You parents are like super famous." He tells me
Yeah I know that dumbass
"Yup they are." I respond feeling not interested in this conversation at all
"Oh that's why you have so much money." He exclaims
"Yeah, now we have to go." I say directly
"Wait can we hold a hundred dollars?" He asks
Nydia looks at me then looks at them before bursting into laughter.
"Bro what?" Nydia asks through her laughter
"Please?" He questions with a smile on his face
"If I give y'all a hundred dollars will you leave us alone?" I ask
"Yes." He replies
I roll my eyes then I hand Nydia my phone so she can hold it while I go into my purse.
"You're really about to give these niggas a hundred dollars?" She whispers to me
"Why not?" I responds while grabbing my wallet from my purse
"Because like..I don't know?" She says
I giggle softly then I pull out a hundreds dollar bill before handing it to them.
"Now goodbye." I say before waving them off
"Thank you." Trey says then he pats Jamal's back gesturing him to walk away with him
Both of the guys walk away at the same time. Nydia hands me my phone while looking at me with a confused expression.
"Why the hell do you carry around dollars anyway?" she asks
"For times I have to bribe people to leave me the hell alone." I joke making her laugh
"You're insane." She replies before pulling me into the trampoline section
Beyoncé Knowles
3:45 pm
I miss Megan so much I just want her to hold me. We kissed but that was a mistake and I don't want her to hurt me like she did before. I pour more wine in my glass then I take little sips. I wipe away the residue of the mascara that I left on my face last night. I cried so hard last night that I felt like I was going to vomit.
I'm so touch deprived, I want to feel somebody on top of me. I just want to go across the hall and have Megan fuck me until I can't feel my legs. I need to feel her hands around my neck while she's inside me but I know I can't do that it would just make things more complicated for us.
I slowly grab my phone from the nightstand and I go to my contacts. I click on Aaron's contact then I go to the messages. Aaron is my friend but he brings me my weed.
"Hey are you around?" I send at 3:50 pm
"Wassup Bey? I'm always around for you." Sent at 3:51 pm
"Can you come over I need someone to talk to" I send at 3:52 pm
"Hell yeah I got you, what should I bring?" Sent at 3:52 pm
"Condoms, alcohol, and a lot of weed" I send at 3:54 pm
"Damn okay. I'll see you soon." Sent at 3:54 pm
I bite my lip then I put my phone on the nightstand. As I get out of bed my oversized button up shirt falls down to my thighs covering up my pajama shorts. I push my natural brownish blonde curls out of my face then I tie it up into a messy bun.
5:00 pm
I straddle his lap as we intensely make out. I haven't had sex with anyone since Megan and I took a break. I called a friend of mines that lives in Nashville, Aaron. We got a little tipsy and one thing led to another.
"Mm you're so sexy." He whispers in my ear
"Thank you." I respond as I run my hand through his blonde locs
He continues to kiss and feel up on my as I sit on his lap. Aaron is very tall and cute, but he's not Megan. He slips his tongue in my mouth making me whimper softly.
"Come on let's take this off." He tells me as he plays with the buttons on my shirt
I take a deep breath then I nod before unbuttoning my shirt. All I can think about is Megan while he's kissing my neck.
He takes my shirt off then he throws it on the floor, revealing my bra to him.
"Goddamn." He rasps out
"You think I'm sexy?" I innocently ask
"Very sexy." He responds then he kisses my neck
He reaches behind me then he unclips my bra letting it fall to the floor. He looks in my eyes before leaning down to my nipples. He nibbles and licks at my nipple making me moan softly.
"Ahh shit." I whimper
I hear him unbuckle his pants making me tense up slightly.
"You okay?" He asks
"I'm great." I mutter
I move his hand away from his belt and I begin to undo it for him. I look up at him as I pull his jeans down.
"God look at that pretty ass face." He whispers while running his hand through my hair
As I bat my eyelashes at him I feel his dick harden underneath my touch. I look down at his boxers to see his large print, I've only sucked an actual dick like twice in my life so I hope he enjoys it. I slowly pull down his boxers while looking in his dark brown eyes. His dick immediately jumps out, he's kinda big maybe 7 or 8 inches nothing too crazy though.
I look over to my right to see my wedding ring on the nightstand. I let out a soft sigh then I slowly get on my knees, kneeling in front of him. I close my eyes then I lick the tip of his throbbing dick.
"Ohh fuck." He groans loudly
Damn nigga I ain't even suck it yet.
I bite my lip as I jerk him off. The way his face is contorting is so sexy I love seeing niggas quivering under my touch. I smirk slightly before wrapping my lips around his dick. He moans softly while gripping my hair tightly then he pushes me all the way down, making me deep throat him.
I feel like such a slut right now and not in the good way. I wish this was Megan right now but sadly it's not. He thrusts repeatedly fucking my throat. I feel a tear roll down my face as I take the throat fucking he's giving me. Saliva rolls down my chin as the taste of his pre-cum hits my tongue. I rest my hand on his balls and I begin to fondle them.d
He groans loudly as he continues to assault my throat while gripping the side of head. Next thing I know I feel hot thick liquid pour into my mouth. I immediately pull back letting some of the cum drip down onto my breasts.
I can't believe I just did that with someone who isn't Megan. I want to vomit.
"Look up at me." He says
I swallow his cum then I look up at him as he jerks off in front of me. I bat my eyelashes at him as he runs his hand through my hair with his freehand. I hear him groan once more then I feel hot liquid hit my face. I whimper softly at the unusual feeling.
I've had sex with two niggas and both of them love finishing on my face which is very interesting. I chuckle softly then I stand up before wiping my face off with a rag.
"You good?" I playfully ask as he leans against the bed while breathing heavily
"Fuck." He mutters
"Yeah I'm good." He adds on
"Good." I reply as I slowly take off my shorts then I do the same with my panties
"Put on a condom." I tell him
He immediately grabs a condom out of his back pocket. He eagerly rips the condom wrapper open then he puts it on. Damn he's so eager for me that's kinda cute.
"It's on." He responds quickly
"Sit down." I say while walking closer to him
He nods then he obediently sits down on the bed. I giggle softly then I climb onto his lap. I close my eyes tightly trying not to look at him as I lower myself on his dick.
6:30 pm
I lay in bed with a blunt in my hand with a glass of wine in my other hand. I feel so empty right now, this bed feels so fucking empty without her in it with me. I thought having sex with Aaron would make me feel better but it didn't. I just feel gross and nasty right now. The sex wasn't even amazing it was very mediocre.
This may sound so fucking crazy and dumb but whenever I'm away from Megan I feel like I can't grow as a person. She makes me a better person even if I don't realize it, without her I'm miserable. I'm so attached to her some people may call it unhealthy but I don't care because we are both the same way.
I feel wetness hit my collarbone, I quickly wipe away my tears that are falling from my eyes. I didn't even realize I was crying, what the fuck is wrong with me right now?
I hear a soft knock on my hotel door, I sigh softly then I get out of the bed. I put my blunt out on the ashtray that's on the nightstand then I tie my robe. I walk towards the door then I open it. Once I open the door I see Megan standing in front of me.
"Hey Bey." She says
"Hi Megan.." I whisper
"Why are you here?" I ask
"You invited me over." She tells me
I sigh softly as I stare at her big brown doe eyes. I want to fall in her arms but I also want to punch her in the face.
"Come in." I add on then I open the door wider for her
I'm so vulnerable right now I just need to hug her. She nods then she walks inside before closing the door behind her. Once she walks inside I immediately wrap my arms around her and i nuzzle my head in her chest.
"Oh.." Megan says softly then she rests her hand on my back
"I hate you so much..why would you do this to me?" I whisper as I cry softly
"I'm so sorry." She apologizes while holding me tightly
"I want to punch you in the fucking face." I tell her
"If that'll make you feel better then go ahead punch me all you want, I deserve it.." she whispers in a genuine tone
"I can't get over you. I tried.." I mutter the end
"You may hate me which is very valid, but I love you with all my heart. I'm so sorry." She replies
I know I said I hate her but I don't hate her, I could never hate her. No matter what she does I'll always love her.
"Come here." I tell her as I pull away then I take her hand and I guide her to the bedroom
Once we get into the bedroom Megan closes the door behind her, then she looks around.
"It smells like weed in here." She speaks up
"Because I smoked a lot of weed duh." I say in a playful tone
I hear her giggle softly behind me. Her laugh makes my heart flutter, I love her so much. I can't help it. I feel her grab my hand softly immediately grabbing my attention. She turns me around so I'm staring at her as she towers over me.
"What's on your neck?" She asks softly as she tilts my head slightly so she can get a better look at my neck
"I don't know. What is it?" I reply extremely confused at what she's talking about
"A hickey." She says softly
"Oh." I respond
She doesn't say anything. I watch as her eyes fill with pain and despair. I kinda feel bad but she hurt me ten times more. Even though we aren't together right now but I still feel the need to explain myself to her.
"Listen I had sex, okay? I had sex with a guy today and it was only once. I hated it so fucking much, I felt like such a slut.." I whisper the end
"You're not a slut. You don't owe me an explanation. I cheated on you, I hurt you so bad therefore you owe me no loyalty." She explains
Damn, She's really working on herself.
I look down at my feet trying not to smile. I love this woman with all my heart and she always knows how to make me melt.
"I love you okay?" She tells me
"I know." I rasp out
She sighs softly then she softly kisses my forehead.
"Your ring is on the nightstand." She says
"It is." I reply
"I'm glad you kept it around." She responds
"I would never get rid of it." I tell her
Next thing I know she drops down to her knees and she takes my hand on hers. She looks up at me with pleading eyes. I look down at her as she squeezes my hand tightly.
"Beyoncé I'm so fucking sorry. I know I cheated and I know how much pain I caused you. I can't undo what I did and it kills me every single day. I want to make it up to you, and I know this is asking a lot but can you please try to forgive me?" She begs while kissing all over my hand and crying loudly
I feel my lip quiver as I look down at her. I know I sound like a dumb ass bitch but I honestly believe her. She's never begged me like this before.
"Stand up.." I rasp out trying not to cry
She sighs softly then she slowly stands up. Once she stands up straight, I look into her eyes then I stand on my tippy toes before kissing her cheek.
"There's no home without you Beyoncé." She tells me
"I fucking hate being away from you. It makes me so anxious and nauseous. Whenever you're gone for so long it feels like I'm going to have a panic attack. It's so hard for me to do things without you." I explain
"That's my fault, I did this. It's all my fault, you wouldn't be going through this if I didn't cheat." She takes accountability
"Okay.." I whisper as I cross my arms trying to put up a tough facade
"Nobody could ever be you Beyoncé. You're one of a kind and nobody can do it better than you." She tells me as she tilts my head up so I'm looking up at her
"You make me feel whole." I reply as I stand on my tippy toes
"And you make me feel whole. You make me feel like I have a purpose in life." She explains
"What? Of course you have a purpose." I respond quickly as I grip her face making her look at me similar to how I do with our children
"I wanted to kill myself." She speaks up
"What?" I ask quickly in slight shock
"Last year. I wanted to kill myself when I was in Texas, I had a plan and everything but you called me that night, you saved me Bey." She replies
"I.." I stammer
How could my baby want to hurt herself? That hurts my heart so fucking bad just thinking about. I can't imagine my baby leaving me and our children. I would be distraught, no, distraught is not even the word it would be way worse than that.
She's told me that she was suicidal in the past but she never talked about having a plan. I thought she was better now, I guess I was wrong.
I feel a tear fall from my eyes while I quickly grab her hand. I look up at her staring into her bare doe eyes. She's so beautiful and perfect, I couldn't imagine losing her.
"I don't want you to leave me." I whisper
"I love you with all my heart." I add on then
"I love you more Beyoncé. You and our babies are my world, I won't leave you guys I swear." She responds
I bite my lip then I stand on my tippy toes and I lean forward hovering my lips over hers. I lean closer but she rests her hand on my shoulder to stop me.
"Didn't you say you had sex with a nigga?" She asks me
"Yeah.." I trail off
"Did you suck his dick?" She questions
I curl my face up in disgust
"Baby.." I trail off not wanting her to be mad at me
"Just answer the question BB I'm not mad at you or nothing." She replies
"Yes.." I hesitantly respond
"Go use some mouthwash." She tells me making me chuckle softly
"Shut the hell up, I already did." I reply then I kiss her softly
She rests her hand on my waist as she kisses me back. Her hand trails down to my thighs then she lifts me up making me wrap my legs around her waist.
"I love you." She tells me
"I want to take you out tonight." She adds on
"Okay." I reply before she kisses me again
The kiss deepens and we begin to make out aggressively. She sits me down on the dresser before walking in between my legs. Once I sit down I pull her closer to me and our lips quickly connect. I feel her hands trail down to my ass making me whisper softly.
I missed her hands all over my body, I'm so fucking desperate to her touch. Her hand trails over my body and underneath my robe.
"You're so beautiful." She mutters while playing with my bottom lip
"Thank you so much." I whisper while looking down trying not to smile too wide
"I want to fuck." I vulgarly tell her
"Are you sure you want to do this baby?" She asks me
"Please?" I beg
"Okay." She replies then she pulls off my robe before throwing it on the floor
I run my hands through her hair then I softly tug at it. Her hand slides up my thigh then she pushes my panties to the side. I gasp slightly as I feel her fingers trail over my pussy.
"I love you so much." She repeats over and over before sliding two fingers inside me
"I.." I try to speak but I let out a soft moan
"There's that pretty sound I missed so much." She whispers in my ear as she pumps her fingers in and out
"Ahh." I whimper as I cling onto her shoulder
"You love me?" She asks me as she hits my g-spot
"Fuck! harder please." I moan louder
"Do you love me baby?" She asks me
"So much. I love you so fucking much." I reply quickly
"So fucking tight and wet. Goddamn, look at the mess you're making." She says softly as she fingers me harder
I look down to see my wetness coating her fingers and dripping onto the dresser. She plays with my clit with her thumb. I look in her eyes as I moan softly.
"I'm close baby.." I whimper
"Let go. I'm right here babygirl." She tells me
Once she says "babygirl" my toes immediately curl and I shut my eyes tightly. I grip onto her shoulder as I feel my orgasm come over me. I let out one loud moan as I kiss all over her neck.
"Baby.." I moan softly as I cum all over her fingers
"Good girl" she says sweetly before pecking my lips softly
Once she pulls away I smile widely. I missed hearing her call me that. I love her so fucking much.
"Fuck." I breathe heavily as she sucks her fingers
"I love you." She tells me
"I love you too." I reply while closing my eyes
"Come here." I say then I pull her close to me by her shirt
As we make out for a while I hear the hotel door open. I quickly push her off of me making her groan softly.
"That's our kids." I tell her
"Oh shit." She whispers then she moves away and goes into the bathroom to wash her hands
I hop off the counter then I adjust my panties. I pick up my robe and I immediately put it on.
"Mommy?" I hear Sir's cute voice
"In the bedroom baby!" I call out
Next thing I know I hear little patters coming towards the door then the door swings open and Sir is standing at the doorway.
"Hi my beautiful babyboy." I say sweetly
"Mommy!" He squeals then he runs into my arms
"Did you have fun baby?" I ask
"Yes! It was so much fun I did a backflip and everything!" He exclaims happily
"That's so awesome babyboy!" I exclaim matching his energy
The bathroom door opens and Megan comes out with a paper towel in her hand.
"Hi my little prince!" Megan says happily then she kneels down and open her arms widely for him to run into
He kisses my cheek softly before running into her arms.
"Hi mama." He whispers as he sits on her lap and nuzzles into her neck
8:30 pm
Megan Knowles
I sit down at the table with Beyoncé sitting across from me. She looks so beautiful I'm obsessed with her.
"You look amazing." I tell her
"Thank you.." she mutters as she plays with the flower I gave her
"I love you so much." I tell her
"I love you too." She tells me as a slight smile forms on her face
"I can't wait to let my hair breathe." She says jokingly while twirling the ends of her hair
I laugh softly then I nod in agreement.
"I think you should just take the wigs off and get braids like you want to." I tell her making her let out a soft chuckle
"I really want to but I can't, having braids really fuck up my choreography plus I'm trying to dance more." She explains
"Hmm either way you look beautiful." I say to her
"Thank you so much." She replies
"Can we talk about us?" She changes the subject
"Of course, we can talk about whatever you want." I respond
She nods then she places the flower down next to her. She nibbles at her bottom lip as she stares in my eyes.
"I believe you." She tells me
"Believe me?" I question
"When you said that you're sorry, I believe you." She replies
I smile widely as I listen to her talk. I'm glad she believes me because I mean every single fucking word. I was being fucking stupid and immature to not recognize how special and perfect she is.
"I'm glad you believe me because I mean it. I love you with all my heart and I fucked up so fucking bad. I hurt you beyond words and I want to make things better between us." I explain
"Okay." She responds
She leans over and she goes into her Telfar bag. She comes back up and her ring is in her hand. She places it on the table in front of her then she looks down at it.
"If I put this back on and you break my heart again I swear to god Megan I'll kill you." She says
"I swear baby, I won't let you down. You can go through my phone or do whatever you feel like you should, to get you to trust me again." I tell her
"You got any other bitches?" She asks me while looking at the ring
"Hell no." I respond quickly
"I better be your only bitch." She says playfully but I know she's dead serious
"You are." I reply
"I'm dead serious Megan. If you do some shit like that to me I'll beat you and that bitch, and we will get a divorce." She tells me in a serious tone
"I know Bey Bey." I respond
"Okay." She responds while picking up the ring
She bites her lip then she slowly puts her ring on.
"I forgot how beautiful this ring is." She rasps out
"It looks perfect on you." I reply
"I love you so much." I add on
"I love you back" She says
"Look at me." I say to her
She smiles slightly then she looks up at me and I notice that she's blushing. She's so beautiful I just want to kiss all over her.
"I want to start over" I say softly
"Okay..okay we can do that" she rasps out while nodding
"You're so adorable." I tell her
"Come here." I say to her then I stand up
"Okay." She tells me then she stands up
I open my arms and she walks inside them. She's so tiny I just want to squeeze her and put her in my pocket forever.
"My beautiful girl." I whisper as I rest my chin on the top of her head
"You smell so good. I've missed this.." she whispers
She slightly pulls back then she stands on her tippy toes. She pokes her lips out waiting for a kiss. God she's so fucking adorable. I smile slightly then I lean down and I press my lips against hers. I slip my tongue in her mouth and I begin to explore her mouth.
"Mm." She moans softly
"Baby stop that." I reply
"Can't help it. Your tongue was all up in my mouth." She says playfully making me chuckle
"You're so perfect, I'm obsessed." I tell her
July 24th, Monday 2023
11:30 am
As we sit on our jet on the way to Detroit, Bey cuddles up underneath me with her head nuzzled into my chest. I wrap a blanket around her once I feel shudder underneath me.
"You okay baby?" I ask her
"Hmm? Yes baby I'm fine I just don't feel too great." She replies
"You getting sick?" I question before resting the back of my hand on her forehead
She frowns her face up then she coughs softly making me frown up my face. Seeing her sick breaks my heart I just want to protect and hold her.
"No I'm fine." She lies
"You're burning up babygirl." I tell her
"It's nothing too drastic." She responds
I sigh softly then I kiss her temple. She's burning up and her nose is red she's so perfect I love her so much. She sneezes softly before nuzzling her head deeper into my chest. Whenever she's sick she always gets so clingy and affectionate.
"I'm going to get you some soup once we touch down in Detroit." I say to her while resting my chin on the top of her head
"Mmm, I'm so cold." She whimpers
"Come here." I whisper as I lay under the blanket with her so she can feel the heat of my body
She sighs softly as I pull her onto my lap then I wrap another blanket around her. I hear little patters coming towards us as she lays her head in my neck. I turn my head to see Sir walking towards us with a donut in his hand.
"What's wrong with mommy?" Sir asks me
"Mommy doesn't feel good baby." I reply
"Mommy do you want some of my donut? It'll make you feel better!" He exclaims as he offers his donut to her
"No thank you my little prince. Mommy is okay, just a little sick baby." She replies before coughing again
My poor baby has a cold. Sir pouts then he climbs into the seat next to her. Sir is such a mommy's boy whenever he notices Bey is a little sad or under the weather he would do anything to cheer her up. Our babies are such a blessing and I'm so fucking grateful for Bey because she gave birth to our three beautiful babies.
"Mommy I'll help you feel better." He whispers then he wraps his arms around her and lays his head on her shoulder
"My beautiful boy, I'm feeling so much better already." Bey says as she gets off my lap and cuddles him tightly
"I know! I'm a superhero I can heal people." He replies proudly
Sir has been doing through a phase where he's obsessed with every single superhero. He's especially obsessed with Spiderman, specifically Miles Morales because "he looks like him" which I find adorable.
"Yup you are a superhero baby." Beyoncé agrees
Sir is so animated and adorable, he's honestly the most adorable boy ever.
"Mama!" Blue exclaims while coming from the back
"Girl what? Why are you yelling?" I ask
"Sorry, I had my headphones on." She says as she takes off her apple headphones
"Anyways, I heard you're in charge of the Louis Vuitton fashion show this year and I want to be apart of it." She tells me
"Ohh you want to model?" I ask her
"Yes." Blue replies
"Okay, we'll see." I reply
"Yes!" She cheers
"Wait what? I want to do it too!" Rumi exclaims as she walks behind Blue
"No babygirl you're too young." I tell Rumi before pulling her on my lap
"Why?" Rumi asks with a pout on her face
"Because princess. Maybe when you get a little older you can do it, okay?" I reply in a soft tone
Beyoncé and I do not want to have our twins doing stuff that involves showing their face until they are old enough to understand what they are doing. I wouldn't mind if they were doing something for Ivy park but I definitely do not want them working for other people and that includes Blue.
I was exploited as a child, especially in the modeling industry. As soon as I turned 18 they wanted me to pose naked, like I literally got calls on my 18th birthday for nude photoshoots. I do not want that for our children.
"Okay mama." She replies
2:30 pm
"Babygirl, Blue and I don't have to go to this basketball game if you don't feel good." I tell Bey as she lays in the bed
"I'm fine baby, it's just a little cold I'll be on my feet by tomorrow." She tells me before coughing aggressively
"Are you sure? I can stay and take care of you." I respond
"No. Go have fun with Blue. Me, Sir and Rumi will just chill here and watch a movie." She replies
"Baby.." I trail off as I walk towards the side of the bed that she's on
I rest my hand on her forehead and she's burning up. Her body shivers under my touch.
"Your hand is so cold.." she whimpers
"Sorry." I apologize
My hand isn't even cold she's just extremely hot. My poor baby is going through it.
"Are you sure?" I ask again
"I'm sure baby." She replies before poking out her lips
"Kiss." She adds on then she taps her lips
"Don't get me sick." I joke before leaning down then I kiss her softly
"My poor baby you're burning up." I whisper softly then I kiss her lips again
"I'll be fine. I promise, before you go can you make me some more soup?" She asks while giving me innocent puppy dog eyes
I wasn't planing on saying no but I definitely cannot say no whenever I see that adorable face.
"Of course baby. I'll make sure there's enough for a few hours." I respond them I kiss her forehead
"Thank you so much." She responds
"Of course." I reply before leaving the bedroom
6:30 pm
Blue Ivy Knowles
My mama wraps her arm around my shoulder as we walk into the arena. Mama is taking me to a basketball game which is pretty cool and I'm really excited to see it. I hold my phone in my hand as we walk through the crowd of people.
"Megan can you sign this please?" A soft voice exclaims
Mama stops in her tracks in she puts her hand in front of me to stop me.
"Hold on princess." She tells me
"Okay." I whisper then she motions the person towards us
The person is a kid who looks a few years younger than me. I look up at my mama as I watch her sign the item that they gave her. I awkwardly sway side to side as I hold my silver Hermes purse in front of me. I quickly put my phone into my purse then I put it on my shoulder.
"Blue what's in the purse?" A guy with a camera pointed towards me asks
"Umm..my phone, lipgloss and money." I say then I let out a soft giggle
"You look beautiful sweetheart." I hear a guy tell me in a weird tone
My mama immediately turns around while handing the sharpie back to the kid. She rests her hand on my shoulder while mean mugging him.
"Come on baby." Mama tells me as she guides me to our court side seats
I bite my lip as I look down trying to block my face from the cameras. We finally make it to our seats and I sit down next to her before placing my purse on the floor next to my foot.
"This guy asked me what's in my purse." I say softly then I point to my purse so she can understand what I'm saying
"That's so weird, what did you say baby?" She asks me
"I told him, I said lipgloss, money and my phone." I reply before giggling softly
I hear a loud horn echo through the arena making me jump slightly.
"What was that?" I ask while looking around with a confused expression on my face
"The game is about to start." She responds
"Oh." I reply then I take my sunglasses off before putting them in my purse
I can't see the game properly when I'm wearing my sunglasses so I'm not going to wear them. I hear the announcer's voice echos through the speakers.
"We have hip-hop legend Megan thee stallion and her daughter, Blue Ivy in the building!" He exclaims into the microphone as the Jumbotron pans onto our face
Mama throws up the Roc sign as she wraps her arm around me shoulder. I smile slightly then I wave at the camera. I've become less shy to the thought of cameras in my face. I used to hate when cameras were put on me but now I kinda embrace it.
"Mama." I say
"Hmm?" She asks
"The Jumbotron is huge." I tell her as I point to the screen that our face is on
She laughs softly then she nods in response.
"It is." She responds
"Your ring is pulling at my earring." I remind her
"My fault princess." She tells me then she moves her hand over slightly
I throw up the roc sign then the camera finally pans away from us and onto Kanye West and his new weird girlfriend. I push my braids out of my face as the game begins to start.
Some guy comes over to us with a tray in his hand. He has drinks on the tray and some food next to it. I point to the green cup then I look over at my mom.
"Can I get that?" I ask
She puts her pointer finger up signally for me to hold on
"Excuse me Sir, what is this?" She asks the guy
"Every drink on here is alcoholic, this is green apple with vodka." He explains
"Oh, well can we get two bags of chips? The hot Cheetos and the lays chips." She replies
"Of course." He replies then he grabs the bags before handing them to us
"Do y'all take card?" She questions
"No sorry." He apologizes
"Shit I don't have cash, Blue do you have cash?" Mama asks me
"Uh..yeah, how much is it?" I ask him then I go into my purse
"10 dollars." He tells me
"I have a twenty." I say as I pull out a twenty dollar bill and I hand it to him
"Here keep the change." I tell him
"Thank you." He says gratefully before walking down the line to hand out food
I open the bag of chips then I go back to watching the game. I love spending time with my mama especially when we go to basketball games it's so much fun.