Janet
Toni walked out of the room and I was angry... I was, but I was more hurt than anything because I knew I wasn't lying.
I started to walk away after her, but Gil held me back.
"Gil, I'm fine, let me go."
"No, you're not, so just sit here and calm down. What happened to your lip? Did she hit you?" He asked all at once.
"I'm fine, Gil. I promise I'm good." I said, trying to walk away again, to which he stopped me.
"Janet, just sit for five minutes."
"No! I'm fine now. Let me go seriously." I pushed past him again and got away this time, but he followed close behind me.
Toni had grabbed her keys and was about to head out the door.
"I was drugged..." I blurted out.
For awhile, she didn't look back at me, but when she did, I felt like I shouldn't have said anything.
It's the truth, but...I've never told anyone that.
"Janet...what?" She asked.
I hung my head down and wiped my hands over my face.
"I—I'm shocked, but I'll give you two some privacy." Gil said.
"No—stay," I insisted.
I walked over to a dining room table and sat down. They both walked over but didn't sit, and it made me not want to say anything. I don't like people standing over me, but I don't feel like right now it's in my place to tell anyone what to do.
I took a deep breath and crossed my arms on the table, not looking at either of them.
"I—I shouldn't have been drinking...but I was hurting. I mean, I had just found out my dad was sick...dying. I was away from you and Elijah for awhile. My label kept pushing me to do different things I wasn't really mentally prepared for, and I just had to do it. I wasn't happy." I started. "I was stressed, hurt, and lost...so I—decided to just have a drink or two."
Toni finally sat down, and it took some of the weight off of me to speak.
"There was a bar in the hotel, so I went down there...and did just that, I drunk. Just a few shots, but enough to get me tipsy." I put my hands on my forehead and sighed. "This woman came over and sat next to me at the bar, and I didn't think anything of it. She didn't bother me, and I didn't bother her...until about 10 minutes later. She started to talk to me. Small conversation, nothing personal. She offered to buy me a drink, which I declined. I got another shot, and I guess she slipped something inside when I wasn't paying attention."
"Janet how do you know she drugged you? What if you were drun-"
"Let me finish, please."
She sat back, and I sat up straight.
"One thing led to another, and we were in her hotel room, and you know me, I don't play that. I would never go into a random person's space willingly, but I did, and I just remembered my head spinning and I could really barely stand."
I thought back on the moment and felt terrible.
Flashback: January 1, 2018
My head was spinning like crazy, and I felt...weird. I know I haven't drank in years, but damn.
She was sitting in my lap doing whatever with her phone, and I could barely tell where I was.
"Hey—I ju—what's your... your name?" I tried to ask.
"Ashley," she said laughing.
Her laughter rang throughout my ears, and it irritated the shit out of me. "Get—off of me, Abby"
She scoffed. "Ashley," she said, getting up.
"My bad Ally,"
She helped me up, and I really just wanted to lay down.
I felt weird, but...I didn't hurt? I didn't feel the stress I had before or anything. Maybe I should drink more often.
...No, no, I can't do that. This was a one time mistake. Toni would be mad, and I have kids to take care of.
Where am I?
"Let's go in here for a video or two," she said, pulling me into what I think is a bathroom.
She stood in front of me, and I held onto her waist so I didn't fall. I started to sweat, so I shook my head to try and come to my senses.
All it did was allow me to see better than I could before, but it was still blurry.
She pointed the phone at the mirror and started to pose.
Who does that?
I reached up to rub my eyes, and she turned around to face me. One of her hands came up to my face, and she leaned up to kiss me.
I didn't stop her.
She put the phone down and pulled away. She grabbed my hand and pulled me into another room. Taking a wild guess that it was the bedroom because she pushed me onto a soft surface.
She straddled me and leaned down to kiss me again.
All these quick movements are making me entirely too dizzy, and is this even the right thing to do?
Who even is this person? Abby? Ally? Ash?
What am I even here for?
I put my hands on her waist and flipped us over.
Immediately, a rush of nausea came to me from the quick move, and I stood up from the bed and fell.
That hurt...a lot.
I tried to get back up but couldn't, and ended up throwing up on the floor.
Now I feel terrible.
After what felt like my entire life came up, I felt different...sober isn't the word, but different.
I got up and leaned up against the wall.
"I'm sorry about that..." I took whatever cash that was in my pocket and sat it on the nightstand. "I gotta go...Ari."
I started walking away and out of the room, but my vision blurred as soon as I got to the door, and I stumbled back.
Her hands came around my waist, and she guided me back over to the bed.
I fell forward onto the bed and was out.
Completely.
Flashback over
"I fell asleep."
She looked confused and was trying to comprehend everything, but that wasn't even half of it. I was tired of talking about it though.
"Ok...but how did you know she drugged you, and Janet the next day the same thing happened? You embarrassed me twice with the same woman." She said.
I sighed and thought of a way to sum everything up the quickest.
"To sum it up, like I said, I fell asleep, and when I got up, I was scared as hell because I was in this random woman's room. I looked around to find my phone to call Joey, but she came back over to me with a drink. And I know I'm probably dumb for taking it, but her story was convincing, and it's something that I would do if I were drunk." I started. "She told me I was at the bar drunk with one of my dancers, and one thing led to another. We were both in her room because I was sad and crying? Then Dom...my dancer, left and it was just me and her...and I passed out."
"She gave me the drink...said it was Gatorade; it was in a gatorade bottle, and sealed, so I drank it. Lo and behold, it was drugged. She took more photos of me and as you saw she wasn't in them...it was just me, laying in the bed, messed up out of my mind. Luckily, my phone was in the room with me, and Joey had my location, which led him to the room...and when he got there, he said she confessed to everything after he threatened to call the police. After that, we left." I finished.
I didn't look up at them because I didn't wanna see their reactions. That was difficult for me to say in its self.
"Wow, I—why didn't you say anything sooner?" she asked.
"I don't know, I just...feel less than because it happened. I was taken advantage of, and I beat myself up about it because I was careless," I said truthfully.
Everyday, I think, How could I let that happen to me?
"Janet that's not something you beat yourself up about. Yes, you should've been more careful, but even the carefullest of people can have this happen to them, so don't single yourself out," Toni replied, making me lift my head.
I shook my head and stood up.
"It's whatever; I'm fine."
She got up and stood in front of me. "No, you're not Janet,"
"Yes, I am Toni. And please don't try to change up now. It was fuck me 10 minutes ago," I shot back.
I don't need anyone's sympathy, especially when it's a situation I don't even want to think about anymore. There's bigger things to worry about now.
"I didn't know, first of all, so don't act like I didn't have a reason to snap," she argued.
"Because you don't listen, Toni! I never have a chance to tell you anything because you always have a made up imagination of what you think happened and never wanna hear the truth." I said loudly.
"Alright, let's all just breathe. Maybe continue this conversation tomorrow." Gil suggested, standing in front of me and blocking my view of Toni.
She scoffed. "No, it's fine. We've both said our piece. I'm going home."
I rolled my eyes and turned around to go to the kitchen.
That's enough arguing and talking to last a lifetime. At this point, there's no saving our relationship. I've spoken my truth, and that's all I had left to do.
I wanted it; I wanted this to work, but obviously she doesn't or she wouldn't be doing this.
I'm done trying.
Crazy how I have chapters written up to 23 but I still don't publish consistently😭