All the sounds in the world that had been ringing loudly seemed to come to a halt. Jiwoo also did not say anything for a while.
Jiwoo.
Hearing it came from his mouth was very strange. Was it because it’s been such a long time? The old memories that Jiwoo had forgotten also came to mind.
Despite the temple’s opposition, Jiwoo and the Crown Prince continued to meet.
Avoiding the eyes of the high priest, they secretly met in the corner of the temple, holding hands, playfully promising the next time they’d meet again.
Then one day he asked.
‘By the way, what’s your name?’
‘Seo Jiwoo.’
‘Seoju?’
‘Seo-Ji-woo. Last name Seo, given name Jiwoo.’
‘Then can I just call you… Jiwoo? Jiwoo.’
‘Yes, if we’re close… just call me Jiwoo.’
The Crown Prince laughed.
‘……Jiwoo.’
He suddenly took her hand. She was so surprised that she couldn’t answer.
A shy voice called out once more.
‘Jiwoo.’
‘…Y-Yes?’
The fingers that she always fidgeted with in front of her. His hesitant hand, taking hers. Like she always wanted to. As he finally held her hand, he brought it up and kissed it.
A memory that Jiwoo forgot because she was so tired of loving him.
Even as she stopped holding on to the carriage when it fell off the cliff, the last thing that came to her mind was that small memory.
‘Jiwoo.’
‘…Yes.’
He kept calling her for no reason. When he called and she looked back, he laughed with a stupid face. Stupid face. It was the only expression that no one else knew and only Jiwoo knew.
The feeling of holding hands while whispering love in vain, alone in an empty place.
Originally, she should have died in that carriage accident.
An Akarna’s power was expressed by the will to live. What kept her from dying in that accident was neither the stubborn lingering feelings left in life nor the longing to return to her hometown. Nor was it even a coincidence.
What kept her alive was the memory of loving him.
As it has been for the past five years.
—Well… Is it okay to say something like that…?
—What? Ah, the word Akarna? It’s okay. Akarna is not only a temple Akarna, but also a vernacular term for a lovely significant other.
My Akarna. My lovely significant other.
It wasn’t that he forgot her name, but the Crown Prince kept calling her that.
Why did she keep doubting? Maybe it’s because they had walked too far on crossroads after some time.
That even such precious memories had become clouded.
“Jiwoo, don’t go… I, I don’t need the Akarna. I need you.”
It wasn’t that he didn’t love her. It wasn’t just about using her. At least his feelings weren’t a lie, when she denied the image of him who cried out to her that he was sincere. Maybe those feelings weren’t a lie.
“Don’t go. Please…”
He continued to cry as though the world was crashing down. He always tried to show only his shining side in front of her. In the first place, he wasn’t the kind of person who would cry like this.
“I love you…”
Could sacrifice alone be called love?
Did he think that love was only looking at one person and throwing away all the past? Could the desperate desire to possess someone be called love?
Was it love to run while looking only at their future together, no matter what had been lost?
She knew. Love is hard. Maybe it’s all love, maybe it’s not.
But at least from the moment he called her by name, she realized that she had no regrets about loving him.
“Your Highness, so much has changed between us now.”
“…I can turn it around. I will do that. I can do that.”
Jiwoo shook her head.
“Your Highness, we can’t do it. One person has no choice but to sacrifice. In order to do that, one person becomes unhappy. I want to become happy now.”
It took one person to make a sacrifice in order for them to move forward together. Now, they had come too far to start again, and Jiwoo was much too exhausted to endure it all over again.
“If I… abandon this position, run away somewhere just the two of us, dedicate myself to living only for you…”
“You shouldn’t do that.”
If the Crown Prince had made that decision even a little earlier, Jiwoo would have been happy to follow him.
But it was too late for that, and the Crown Prince also had the kind of position in which he shouldn’t do that. It was even more so currently, with all that’s happening in Caranazion.
“Your Highness, I do not regret loving you, so I do not want to make you unhappy.”
“Jiwoo…”
“I was able to live in this world while loving you. Nothing else allowed me to live.”
Jiwoo wiped away the tears that soaked his cheeks. The tears were very hot. The same goes for the one flowing down her cheeks.
Since they loved each other passionately in their own way, they might be able to let go passionately as well.
“So, Your Highness will be able to live. Just as I have lived only with love… Your Highness will be able to save others here. You have to do that.”
Caranazion lost their Akarna. They had to live through harsh times until the new Akarna would appear again naturally.
There were few leaders who could lead the country to withstand a storm that may clear at any time.
The temple had collapsed and all the priests had died. The emperor would soon abdicate from his position, and the Crown Prince would have to rise to the position and somehow save the dying Caranazion.
The empire that lost their Akarna may no longer be an empire. However, the people who lived in it had to continue to live in Caranazion even after the name of the country was changed.
The Crown Prince was a man with ambitions to make the world a better place for everyone.
And Jiwoo loved him for that. She believed and followed him because he was a person who could make it that way.
That’s why she didn’t want him to collapse.
She has been watching him for five years. As the Akarna, this person was the only one who could take on the last remaining responsibility.
“I’ll leave this place and forget about it, but Your Highness shouldn’t do that. And Your Highness that I loved was like that. Don’t make me regret it.”
The Crown Prince didn’t say anything. He just collapsed.
He cried on his knees in front of Jiwoo, but he fell down completely because even that was not enough. Like the one who blames himself for bringing down the world.
The figure of him holding on to her clothes and crying looked more miserable than any other sinner in the world.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry. I was wrong.”
“If you feel any remorse for me, please stay here and atone.”
“I love you… Jiwoo, I love you.”
“If you love me, let me go.”
“I love you. I’m not lying. Certainly, I…”
“I know. I won’t deny it.”
“But why…”
At least she didn’t deny his feelings. It was a conclusion that Jiwoo made by fully accepting it. She couldn’t deny this.
Jiwoo knelt down in front of him and bowed down. She always looked only at his big, wide back, but the Crown Prince who collapsed in front of her seemed so small that, if she hugged him, she would be able to take him into her arms.
“Just because Your Highness loves me doesn’t mean that you make me happy.”
So even more now that feeling was unacceptable. But she had no intention of lifting him up or embracing him. She would leave him behind.
Jiwoo got up.
“Your Highness, I have to go now. Will you be showing me this sight, even in the end like this?”
The Crown Prince raised his head.
His handsome face was stained with bloodstains and tears. He appeared to be crying tears of blood.
He stared at her face. It’s as if he was carving an image he shouldn’t forget. Jiwoo was the most beautiful bride in the world today.
If only he had made the right choice, even just once in all the countless opportunities that had been open to him in the past. Maybe it could come into his hands.
“At least… can you take this?”
A single jewel shone on the bloody hand.
Where did he get it from? It was a ring that Helka took away and threw away and replaced the ring.
A flashy ring. It was a symbol of his distinction and position. It was everything about him that everyone looked up to and envied, but it held no meaning to Jiwoo.
Jiwoo turned her gaze to the uniform he was wearing and to one of the medals hanging proudly.
Among them, the oldest medal caught her eye. Perhaps this would be okay.
“I’ll take… this.”
Tap.
The Crown Prince blankly looked at the gesture. It was like dropping a piece of the heart that the Crown Prince had cherished for a long time.
It was the medal of the meritorious military deed that Jiwoo couldn’t remember, and maybe that started this relationship.
When he first saw Jiwoo, he thought she was the one God gave him. When he realized that was not the case, Jiwoo, who was an ordinary person, was ruined.
As if to erase that illusion, as if the Lord had really given her to him, the beautiful Akarna took that memory away from him.
“Goodbye… Thank you for all this time.”
I loved you.
Akarna went away. The Crown Prince knelt down and watched it blankly.
It wasn’t until Jiwoo completely disappeared from his sight that the Crown Prince realized that the point of intersection they had been holding on to was over.
Now, it was the time for them to go their own separate ways.
Akarna has left.
Holding other people’s hands. The time that had been suspended had now come to an end, looking forward and not looking back.
Conversely, the Crown Prince would have to live in a time without Jiwoo. In order to prove atonement and love, that time would be harsh.
—