I hadn't thought it was possible to feel even worse than the time I did before my attempt.
Because I did feel like that.
I sat in the corner of the Glade, my knees pulled up again. I watched people wander around. Jeff ran everywhere to treat hurt people.
But no Clint.
I hadn't seen Gally. Neither did I see Thomas or Teresa or Chuck. Then there was Newt, who was walking right over to me and sat down without saying anything.
My cheeks were stained with dried up tears. My hair must've been a mess, and my voice was hoarse. "Who did we lose?" I whispered.
Newt stared at nothing, his face blank, but eyes full of hurt. "Alby." He said.
My breathing hitched. Crack, a piece of my heart.
"Clint." He continued.
Crack.
"Zart."
Another crack.
"And way more." His voice was high-pitched.
Tears were streaming down my face silently. "What about Josephine?"
His Adam's apple moved. Body tensed. "She got taken out of your hut by a Griever."
I froze. What did I even have left at this point?
More silent tears as my world was slowly falling apart. I almost had no hope less. "I'm gonna convince Gally to come with us." I mumbled, getting up and leave Newt behind. Both of us seemed broken.
It didn't take long to find him sitting nearby my hut. His eyes met mine, and all I saw was sadness. Newt and I weren't the only one who felt empty, after all.
"Come with us." I said, my voice cracking more than I intended. "Please, Gally."
He stared and stared and stared, not replying. Then he got up, and wrapped his large arms around my body.
"Gally. Please." I begged, tears running down my cheeks. "We said we would get a house. We will. Together. So please, I need you to come with me. I can't escape without you. But I won't stay here, either. The Glade's ruined already. You and I know damn well you don't really enjoy the other's company that much. There's no reason to stay. We can get through whatever you saw was left of the world. We'll— we'll find a place. I know we can. Please."
He fell silent, and inspected my face for a while, his eyes trailing all over it, then,
"Fine."
My stomach made a jump, and I attacked him with another hug, crying louder now. It would be okay. "Thank you."
"Only for you." He added blankly. "Not for Thomas or anyone."
I nodded, sniffing. "Where is Thomas?"
A long silence. "I might've... thrown him in the Slammer."
Offended, I gave him a small push on the shoulder. "Get him out of there."
"But-."
"Get Thomas out." I repeated, slower.
Eventually, he nodded and rushed away.
~
In my head, I had to keep repeating everything would be okay. I would get through it. Live a life with Gally. We could do it.
We stood in front of the Doors, the tension clearly there. Newt had gathered all the Gladers that wanted to join us. The most familiar faces were Winston and Jeff.
If only Ben, Luke, and Alby would've seen this. I sighed, forcing the tears to leave.
"Okay." Thomas turned to look at the crowd. "Follow Minho and I. You've got weapons."
Chuck face was as white as a ghost, and we hadn't even gone into the maze yet. I smiled warmly at him. "We'll be okay." I assured. "It's gonna be okay, Chuck. I promise."
His lower lip was trembling, but he nodded. "I'm scared."
"That's okay." I put a hand on his shoulder. "We decided that you'll be staying with Teresa and me. You're safe with us, and the key. Yeah?"
"Yeah." He nodded again.
"Good." A squeeze in his hand before Thomas and Minho started running. Not on full speed, because not everyone was the most fit and I couldn't run easily.
Gally held my hand while running, squeezing it repeatedly. I shared assuring smiles with him, hoping he wasn't panicking or getting too much flashbacks from the maze.
~
We arrived at the place where Thomas and Minho said the way out was soon. Teresa held the key in her hands. All the boys held poles and I had a knife in my pocket, just in case.
Thomas peeked over the corner, where a cliff would be. At the end of that, there was a round door. Then he turned back, sighing.
"Is it a Griever?" Chuck paled even more.
"Yeah."
"Shit."
Thomas grabbed the key out of his run vest. "You take this, Chuck." Handing it to the boy, he nodded. "Stay behind us."
Chuck still seemed unsure, looking around for hopeful glances.
Teresa was making a ponytail in her hair as she looked at him. "It's okay. Just stick with Valerie and I."
Thomas agreed with his eyes. "Once we're through, it will activate and the door will open. We stay close, we stick together... we get through this. We get out now... or we die trying. Ready?"
Gally turned me around, a little bit away from the others. "Be careful."
"You too." A quick kiss. "I love you."
"I love you too." He whispered, his eyes kind again. Then we turned back to the others, just on time.
"All right." Thomas slammed his stick on the floor. "Let's go!"
Chuck, Teresa, and I let all the boys go first, before we ran over the cliff, the key stuck in Chuck's hand.
I was frightened of who we would lose and what would happen. My heart beat in my throat, nearly jumping out of my chest, but I stood strong.
At first my plan was to watch the boys fight and jump in to help when it was needed, but the sight was too horrible for me to keep looking, so I focused on Chuck.
We moved closer to them, though. Teresa had a knife in her hands, and when a Griever stabbed its leg right into the ground in front of her, she hit it with the knife.
It caused the leg to swing back, hitting the key out of Chuck's hands. My eyes widened in a quick panic.
"The key!" Chuck noticed it too, ran away from us, toward the rolling key, which almost fell of the edge. Chuck was fast, slid down on his knees, and leaned over the edge, catching the thing.
I gasped, ran back over to him. A Griever was already climbing up the abyss. They were coming from everywhere, and it frightened me even more. I grabbed Chuck's legs and pulled him up.
To our luck, the boys just managed to push a Griever over the edge. The three of us took our chance and ran over the long cliff, all the way to the last wall.
The key made a clicking noise as multiple Grievers started to fight with everyone else again. A few stone doors slid up, opening a passage to a black hole for us. We acted fast.
A big stone door surrounded the hole. We were struggling to it. I was close to screaming from stress, but then, a red screen appeared.
It was a very technical thing, with letters swimming around it. In the middle lay eight white lines, and under that a keyboard.
"Thomas!" Teresa shouted. "There's a code! Eight numbers!"
He muttered something to himself. His breaths were heavy, and he was pushing a Griever away from us as he shouted, "Hey, Minho! What's the sequence?"
The Keeper was busy too. "What?"
I had no idea what they were talking about either, until, "The sections of the maze, what's the sequence?"
Realization hit Minho. "Seven!" Teresa typed the number in super fast. "One! Five! Two! Six! Four!"
Someone screamed loudly. "Heads up!"
My eyes were close to spring out of their lids. A Griever fell from the... sky? It landed right on top of Minho.
"Minho!"
The boy used his pole to stop the Griever from eating him, but they were definitely touching. "Get off of me!" He yelled.
Jeff got in action fast and stabbed his pole right into the Griever's head. Minho managed to avoid getting pinned by the thing, and rolled away from the creature, but Jeff, in fact, was still holding on to the pole. The Griever swung his head, causing Jeff to fly through the air, right in front of the Grievers.
"No!" A heartbreaking scream that belonged to me pinched through the air. I reached out for Jeff, but Newt pulled me back.
"What's the sequence?" Thomas hurried.
"Six! Four! Eight! Three! You got it?"
Teresa typed it in again. Then, the lights went green. All the doors slid back down again. The image of Jeff locked between all the Grievers disappeared, but it always stayed burned on my retina.
And then we fell.