I laid on the bed, flat on my back. My hair was so tangled, that I didn't even thought of trying to brush it. The only solution that came to mind was cutting all of it off. I couldn't remember the last time I had my eyebrows done. Hell, I couldn't remember the last time I had an actual bath, and not just two minute showers that were so quickly over.
I was breathing heavily.
Elijah wasn't in that great of a state, either. Since he was the one working, I tried my best not to ask him for help often. But I struggled. I truly did. Caring for one child was hard, but for twins? Especially since they just turned one, it was impossible.
He started going to the office more since there was not a chance of him getting anything done in this loud house, and I didn't mind. He'd always be back before dinner, and made sure to spend time with the kids before putting them to bed.
However, he was still getting up in the middle of the night, trying to let me rest as much as possible. Of course, the little motherfuckers are never up at the same time. As soon as one fell asleep, the other one was wide awake. They were definitely doing it on purpose.
Eliana, the older child by two minutes, was definitely bossing her younger brother. She was the first one to start walking before she was even one, which was unexpected. She shared her toys, but as soon as her brother, Killian, did anything to piss her off, she'd push him or pull his hair. The poor boy was always silent and allowed her to have her way.
I tried everything humanly possible to put a stop to her antics. She didn't listen to a word I said, nor did anything help. The only person she truly did listen to was her father, which made me all more pissed. Eliana acted like an angel when her dad was at home, but the moment he was gone, she'd turn into a devil.
She was such a devil that even Lilith avoided her at all costs.
''My mom wants to take the kids for a—''
''Yes, let me pack them.'' Elijah laughed. I didn't care if it was for an hour or two months, she could take them.
I had all the help in the world. My mom had them every other weekend, alternating between my mother-in-law. Weekends were kid free, for the most part, but it was still tiring. Even then, no matter how happy I was to ship them off, I would call and text every half an hour to check in with them.
Whoever said that raising twins was easier because at least, they had each other to play with, definitely did not have twins.
''Mom will have them for a week, and I'll take you somewhere nice.'' He placed a soft kiss on the top of my head.
''Where are we going?''
''You pick. If you want we can go to Hawaii, or we can go to Paris.''
I sighed. ''I've had enough of beaches. But I don't want Paris, either. We can go to Las Vegas?''
He laughed. ''You want to go to a casino?''
''Sure, I don't remember the last time I went there.''
While I was getting the kids ready, making sure nothing was missing, Elijah was scheduling our trip, with Eliana on his lap. She never cried for her mom, but her dad? Jesus, she was prepared to kill anyone who touched him. I'd like to think she took that after me.
Killian crawled towards me with the biggest grin. He had four teeth so far only, and it was the most adorable sight. I picked him up and gave him lots of kisses.
As if on cue, Eliana turned around. She wiggled her legs, signaling for Elijah to put her down. She was quick to come to my side and try to push Killian out of the way.
''Stop pushing your brother.''
She wasn't having it. She pushed him once more. Then, she gave me her cheek to kiss. Once I showered both of them with a million kisses and hugs, all seemed to be well.
We were in New York that same evening, and my mother-in-law took them both. She did threaten me not to call her every thirty minutes and let her enjoy her time with her grandkids.
That night, we spent in the penthouse. I slept soundly, finally got a lot of sleep. Of course, I was woken up in the middle of the night by my horny husband. Since we were both exhausted by the time our parents took the kids on the weekends, we barely spent some time together.
So, tonight, that man made sure to tire me out completely, since I was already going to rest for a week.
I missed his touches more than I was willing to admit.
After giving birth, I was definitely having body image issues. I was no longer in my twenties, and I didn't look that bad, but since I had a C-section, I was conscious of that small scar and the way my body looked. It took a long time to get rid of the reminders of that god-awful-pregnancy. I was throwing up for four months straight.
I was worried, uselessly, that Elijah wouldn't be attracted to me after the twins were born. I avoided him for a long time before finally telling him why I was so against having sex with him again. He tried not to laugh, but was quick to reassure me that he loved me even more after having his kids. He didn't actually care what my body looked like, and he loved me even when I hated myself.
I was doubting him more than I should've.
It reminded me of the day I broke the news of my pregnancy to him.
''I'm pregnant.''
Silence was so thick it could slice through anything. His eyes widened, though it seemed like he was still processing what I'd told him.
''What?'' His voice was barely above a whisper.
I took another deep breath, trying to calm myself down. ''It wasn't planned. Since I've gone off the implant, I forgot to take a few pills. It wasn't intentional, I wasn't trying to baby-trap you, I swear.''
''You can't baby-trap me, Freya. We're married.''
Well, that was an unexpected answer. As I tried to come up with another thing to say, Elijah was by my side, on his knees. His eyes swelled with tears, his smile the biggest one I'd seen. He took my hands in his and kissed them a million times.
''I'm so happy, little fox. I'll be the best dad and husband in the world, I promise you.''
Then, I started crying. His honesty, the look of pure bliss and happiness on his face made me hate myself. How the fuck did I doubt this man? Why the hell did I doubt his love for me? He was prepared to give me the world if I asked.
The week in Vegas ended quicker than I thought. We were back on our island, cherishing the moments we had left there. Since I wanted to start working soon, the kids needed to go to day-care. Which meant, we had to move back to New York. Their first smiles, laughs, everything was here.
I was done with their dinner, and walked outside to call for them.
I stopped, sat down on the porch and simply observed.
Eliana was independently making a sand castle, creating the best one yet. She was so focused, her tiny hands trying to make another tower, though it was falling every single time. She didn't give up, but she was getting annoyed.
Killian, on the other hand, used Elijah as a toy. My husband was laying down on his back, whilst our son was throwing sand on him, covering his feet first.
Their giggles, happiness, and the memories were important to me. I snapped a few photos, and smiled. My family was the biggest blessing I received in this world. I was unsure of how I deserved to have such an amazing husband, and those precious kids.
As soon as Eliana noticed me, so did Killian. My daughter was faster, and was quick to drop her sand and rush over to my side. Since Killian was still learning how to walk, Elijah helped him until they reached me.
Elijah kissed the top of my head and my son wasn't thrilled. He kissed the exact same spot as his dad before grinning devilishly at his father. It was an adorable sight, and I couldn't help but laugh.
My happiness was where they were. I vowed to make sure my kids and husband get to have the lives they deserved. All I wanted for them was happiness. I wanted them to remain as they were, innocent, kind, and loving.
Elijah and I looked at each other whilst the kids were in the bathtub, cleaning them off the sand. Pure love and amazement was on his face and I was grateful to God for pairing me with such an amazing man.
This was just the beginning of our happy lives, and I was embracing what came next with open arms.