McGonagall moves down the table as we eat, passing out our course schedules. When she tries to hand me mine, I have to quickly jam my scone in my mouth and wipe butter off my hands to take it. I think she gives me a tiny frown (maybe even an eye roll – leave it to Professor McGonagall) before moving on to Em, who, like a good girl, already has clean hands and an empty mouth so that she can smile and thank Professor McGonagall.
I bet McGonagall's been wishing since last night Dumbledore chose a different Head Girl.
After I locked eyes with her last night in the Great Hall, she'd given me that steely gaze she does when you accidentally swap your hair with your neighbor's during Switching Spell practice. Not that that's ever happened to me. Whatever. It was one time. Marlene put us back all right real quick.
In any case, she – Minerva McGonagall, that is -- was not happy. About my argument with Potter.
Professor Dumbledore had been harder to read. In the end, I'd given them a little wave and self-conscious smile, then tried to not look like I was trying not to sprint out of the Great Hall. That was probably a mistake. I'd meant to ask Professor Dumbledore when we'd meet about our Head duties, but in my humiliation, I'd forgotten, and now this morning he's missing from the staff table. I make a mental note to approach him as soon as he's back because now I also want to ask him about that grim Sorting song.
I glance over my schedule and my stomach twists, nothing to do with the huge mouthful of scone I just swallowed, or my disastrous previous evening.
Double Potions first. I'd hoped to have at least something of a buffer before I'd have to face... well. Let's just say I'm not looking forward to this at all.
"Let's see, let's see!" Marlene snatches my schedule from my hand to compare to hers. Once again, we probably won't have too many classes all together this year. Alice and I share the majority of our subjects, but Em's and Marlene's interests don't align so much.
Emmeline and Alice lean over Marlene's shoulder, holding out their own schedules as well.
"Ooh!" Alice squeals happily. "We all have Defense Against the Dark Arts together! And Transfiguration!"
"That's hardly a surprise," Marlene huffs. "You and Lily are really continuing with Ancient Runes this year? And Emmeline -- Arithmancy? Really?"
"I like it!" Emmeline says, a little defensively. "Not all of us are suited for Care of Magical Creatures."
We stare at the schedules some more. It's Alice who notices first.
"Lily? Double Potions? Right after breakfast?"
Three pairs of wide, worried eyes turn to me. Of all my mates it's only me who takes NEWT level Potions. I manage a weak smile.
"Pretty lucky I get to start the year off with one of my favorites, right?"
"Lily, you going to be okay?" Alice asks.
"Of course I am!" I wave a hand in the air breezily, as if sweeping away her worry.
"Are you sure?" Her eyebrows are raised skeptically. "Because you're not saying much or complaining about how you'll have to deal with Potter the first thing today."
Of course I'd told them all last night about our shouting match over the Gryffindor table. Emmeline had been appalled ("Lily! You didn't! And in front of everyone --!"). Marlene had to keep herself from laughing ("Merlin, I can't believe I missed this!). Alice shook her head and sided with Potter ("He's right, though, Lily. You've got to get over this." I'm still a little miffed about that).
"Really, I'm fine!" I insist. "And I honestly forgot all about Potter." Then I bite my lip. It's the truth, I didn't give him a single thought when I saw Potions on my schedule, but that's more than a dead give-away that I something – someone – else is on my mind. I hurry on. "I'm going to Potions. Slughorn adores me. Annnd..." I draw it out, and then proudly proclaim, "... I'm absolutely brilliant at Potions, you know." I really am, too. Perfect O on my OWLs and everything.
Marlene rolls her eyes. "She's not talking about the stupid subject, Lils." Marlene, on the other hand, has always detested Potions and was thrilled her barely passing "Acceptable" grade on her OWLs meant she wouldn't be continuing. "We're worried about you having to go to Potions and see S–"
"Gotta go!" I jump up suddenly, not letting her finish. "Want a good seat and all that!"
The three of them frown at me, varying levels of concern, exasperation, and disbelief on their faces, probably because class won't start for a good twenty more minutes. I give one last airy wave and march out of the Great Hall, hauling my school bag along with me.
Once I'm in the corridors, though, where I know they can't see me, I slow and let my bag swing loosely off my shoulder. I'm alone out here, the chatter from everyone finishing their breakfast fading away as I head towards the staircase that will take me down to the dungeon where Professor Slughorn holds Potions. I'm going to be unbelievably early, but at least Slughorn will be thrilled to see me.
Despite my concerns, I grin as I start down the stairs. It's a tight competition whether I like Potions or Charms better and, in some ways, it's a stroke of luck that my least favorite class later today – Transfiguration – gets to be balanced out by one of my best subjects. Even if Potions does have a couple downsides.
Like why in the name of all that's magic is the class held in the dungeon? I shiver and fold my arms across my chest, walking down the dark corridor. The classroom is around the corner at the end. It's freezing down here! And dark. And definitely not comfortable or cozy, the way I feel like potion-brewing ought to be.
I poke my head into the classroom. The lantern light dances in the sconces on the walls and, in true Slughorn fashion, a freshly brewed potion sits at each of the four tables. It's his favorite way to start a new school year, and it does a lot to make the space feel more welcoming, the various steams spiraling and scenting the air in interesting ways.
"Professor Slughorn?" I call.
But the voice that answers comes from the shadowy back corner of the room, younger than Slughorn's and achingly familiar.
"Lily?"
I freeze, then slowly turn to face the most significant downside to Potions. The whole reason seeing double Potions on my timetable made me worry.
"Hello, Severus."
He's already sitting at one of the tables, tucked in the back, furthest from the door. That's why I didn't see him when I came in. Severus has never been one to look for any sort of attention. He's been writing in what appears to be a textbook, but he shuts it and tucks it away into his bag. "How are you? "His voice is cautious, almost as cautious as I feel. "How was your summer?"
"Umm, good, I suppose. Went on a small holiday to Southampton to visit Alice. Was nice to get away from Petunia for a week." Severus gives a small smile. "What about you? Good summer?" Then I immediately wish I hadn't asked. It's unlikely Severus had a good time at home, and I feel like the question makes it painfully obvious that for the first summer since we were, like, seven, we hadn't seen each other at all.
But he only shrugs. "It was fine."
"Good."
A long beat of silence. I contemplate my options. Already, this is the longest amount of time Severus and I have spent alone together since fifth year.
I'm about to turn and walk right back out of the classroom spouting literally any sort of excuse I can to get me out of this awkwardness when he speaks again.
"I actually spent a lot of time at the playground."
A wash of memories, all coated in green and gold and magic: flying off the swings; climbing trees with no fear, knowing I'd float safely to the ground if I slipped; lying side by side in the cool, tall grass; propelling leaf boats across the water.
"Yeah?" I ask. "Wow. I haven't been there in ages."
"Neither had I," he admits. "But these were still there." He digs something out his trouser pocket and holds it out. I have to move closer to see – we've been talking to each other from across the empty classroom this whole time – but when I'm just a few paces away from him, I recognize it and laugh once, surprised.
It's a small, very dirty purple coin purse, just a cheap one you can buy at any tourist shop. "Are --" I start to ask, but he's already grinning and opening it up to dump the contents out on the table: a slender gold chain with a little "L" pendant dangling off of it, and a shiny black button, black thread still trailing.
"Oh my goodness!" There's no hesitation now as I pull a chair out at the table and sit down next to him. I reach out and pick up the necklace, letting the chain slip through my fingers. "I can't believe you found it!"
"Right?"
I look at him, and he's watching the necklace trail through my fingers, too, the dim dungeon light glinting off the metal. Then he notices me watching him, and a self-conscious smile tugs at his lips.
"I was there one day and just thought I'd check and... there it was."
Another memory: we were thirteen, and home for summer holidays. Just another day out of maybe hundreds we spent together at the playground. I'd found the coin purse laying in the dirt under one of the lilac bushes. Their scent was heavy in the late afternoon sunshine, and the purse could almost be mistaken for a fallen blossom.
"Sev, look." I held it out to him, and he took it from me, cool fingers brushing mine.
He opened the top and shook it, but nothing tumbled out. "Nothing in it."
"But that's not the point! We should put something in it."
"Something like what?"
"Something of us. Then we can leave it here so if anyone finds it, they know this is our place." I looked around the playground, at the two swings hanging on their rusty chains, the metal slide, glaringly hot from sitting under the sun all day, the forlorn little jungle gym slowly being taken over by the lilacs. The place really was ours, and the pond hidden on the other side of the bushes, even if we weren't the only ones who came here. But we came the most, and we liked it best, and besides, this was where we were just...us. Lily and Severus. Friends. Best friends. With no Tuney or stupid Potter or House rivalries to get in the way.
So into the purse went my "L" pendant necklace (Mum was really not pleased that I'd "lost" it) and Sev added a button off his shirt. We hid it under the big rock by the jungle gym. We'd check on it after that almost every time we went but... well. Like I said. I haven't been there in ages, not since the summer we were fifteen.
Now, Severus reaches out and picks up his button. He turns it over and over in his fingers, not looking at me anymore. "Lily, I miss you."
Ahh. This.
"Sev..." I sigh and tuck the necklace back into the purse.
"No, listen." He adds the button back to the purse too, and then there's nowhere for his attention to go but me. "I know I screwed up. Massively. I know that. And we don't have to be like... best friends anymore. But this is stupid. Last year was stupid. We know each other too well to just be... nothing, right?"
I can't meet his eyes; they're too earnest, too familiar, too Severus. "I just..."
"Lily, my girl! And Mr. Snape too. What a way to start the year!"
Severus and I both jump about a foot in the air. I whip around to look at the door; Severus leans back slowly in his chair.
"Excellent, most excellent!" Professor Slughorn strides over to our table and I stand so that he can wring my hand enthusiastically, then Severus's, who extends his from where he sits. "Huge congratulations to you, Miss Evans – Head Girl! Though can't say I'm surprised at all. I mean, look at you, earlier to your first class than the professor." He shakes my hand again.
"Thank you so much, sir."
He plows right on. "Good holidays? Ready for NEWT levels this year? Oh, have I got some fun things planned! And I trust you'll both be at my first little meeting of the year? I've got Winston Diggory from the Ministry coming!"
"Of course," I assure him. "We're so excited for this year, it's going to be brill!" I hear the "we" slip out and shoot a look at Severus. He's looking down at the table with a small smile, fiddling with his button again,
"Excellent!" Slughorn proclaims again. "Well, best finish getting these ready." He waves his hand around the room, indicating to all the cauldrons on the tables. Then off he waddles, stirring some of them, adding an ingredient or two to the others.
I slowly lower myself back into my chair. Neither Sev nor I say anything for a long time, not when a couple of Ravenclaws file in and take one of one the other tables, or even when Severus's fellow Slytherins, Mulciber and Rosier, enter. They scowl at Severus, but he ignores them.
"Are we going to have a 'brill' year?" I don't miss the slight emphasis on the "we", even though his voice is very quiet and the room is starting to fill with the clamor of our fellow NEWT students.
"I don't know." I'm equally quiet, and Severus has to lean in, just a little bit, to hear me. His shoulder brushes mine. "But maybe..." I meet his eyes. Black, intense. I know him, I know this face so well, better than maybe anyone else's. My best friend since I was seven. My first link to the Wizarding world. The boy I haven't spoken to in over a year, though he used to be my deepest confidante.
And I miss him, too.
"Maybe we can try."
***
Potter can't stop scowling at me.
When he walked into the Potions classrooms, literal seconds before Slughorn began class, he actually froze when he saw me. Like the prat forgot I'd be there.
Or maybe he was just shocked to see me sitting with Severus. Which would be fair. Severus and I haven't even looked at each other in a year, let alone voluntarily sat at the same table.
But now we're in the middle of brewing Pepper-Ups, and Potter's scowls are really throwing me off my game. At least he's not grinning at me anymore. That was even more distracting – annoying – than the scowls are.
"Lily, no, not the fireflies yet, you still need to add the dandelion root!" Severus hisses at me, stopping me from making a potion error for the second time this morning. Really, it's a good thing I decided we could try being... not-best friends; otherwise, my perfect Pepper-Up would be absolute rubbish by now.
"Ahh!" I set the vial down and dig around in my Potions kit, looking for the green stems. "It's stupid Potter. He's glaring at me and I can't concentrate. Aha! Here they are!"
"Potter?" No one would miss the menace dripping from Severus's tone. I don't even need to look at him to know he's now locked in an angry stare-down with my co-Head.
"Oh, just stop that." I start chopping the dandelion, careful to make the pieces equal sized. "I definitely do not need you to get into it with him again. Besides, he and I already had a huge row."
"Really?" Severus's hand slips as he's stirring his potion and he has to start counting strokes all over again.
"Yeah, last night after dinner. In the Great Hall." I grimace. "I'm surprised you didn't hear about it. Thought it'd be all over the school by now." I tip the dandelion into my potion and, thank Merlin, the liquid turns the proper shade of orange. "Now don't talk to me anymore. I'm starting on the fireflies and this is when things can really go wrong."
I manage to tune everything out and finish brewing a perfect pot of Pepper-Up. Professor Slughorn is delighted with the results at our table, particularly after critiquing Potter's potion; it didn't seem like Potter ever stopped glaring at me long enough to notice what ingredients he was adding to his cauldron, and the result was a soupy brown mess.
We clean up and there's a slightly awkward pause when Severus and I both stand. He glances at the door. Evan Rosier and Cyril Mulciber are hovering ominously there, making no secret they were watching us.
Mulciber and Rosier had watched Sev and I all through Potions class, almost as closely as Potter had. It had made me uneasy, but it didn't seem worth shaking up the tentative truce Sev and I had barely established.
"Well, I'll see you next class, then?" I say. Potions is the only class we will share this year. Working friendship aside, I'm kind of glad. It's been emotionally taxing working the last two hours with him.
He glances at the door again. Rosier raises his eyebrows like, let's go.
"Right. Yes. I'll see you then, Lily." He reaches out and tugs my sleeve in an odd farewell gesture, then leaves. I follow more slowly, not keen to speak to any of the other Slytherins.
Severus definitely isn't out of earshot when Potter catches up to me outside the Potions classroom.
"Snape? Really, Evans? Really?" He's all drama, not bothering to keep his voice down, gesturing down the corridor after Severus, Mulciber, and Rosier. I see Rosier turn to scowl at us as Potter's voice echoes off the stone.
I hitch my bag higher up on my shoulder and power-walk in the opposite direction. Maybe Potter will take the hint.
"Have you forgot fifth year? What he called you?" His long legs let him keep stride with me easily. Apparently, he cannot take a hint.
"Obviously I haven't forgotten. Why do you think we didn't speak at all last year?" We start up the stairs, leaving the chill of the dungeons below us. I take them two at a time, still kind of hoping I can shake him off.
"So what's changed then? Because as far as I'm concerned..." Potter takes the stairs two at a time, too. It's so easy for him, I wonder if he even notices I'm trying to outpace him.
"As far as you're concerned... oh wait. You aren't concerned. You have actually nothing to do with who I choose to spend time with." I give up on a speedy getaway. If I try to keep it up, I'm going to start panting and I just couldn't stand the humiliation when Potter isn't the least bit bothered by my pace.
"Well, like it or not, I am your fellow Head, and as such, I feel like I can be at least concerned about who you hang around."
"I thought you were going to stay out of my way," I mutter.
He surprises me by laughing. "Oh, right."
We lapse into silence for a few minutes. Between our shouting match last night and his weird mood this morning, I have no idea what to even say to him.
When we both turn to make our way to the third floor, Potter glances at me in surprise. "You have Transfiguration next, too?"
Of course I knew Potter would be in Transfiguration with me after Potions – I hate to admit it, but he really is brilliant at Transfiguration, and McGonagall only teaches one NEWT level class.
But I'm not surprised he didn't think I'd be attending. I'm not even offended. I can own up to my weaknesses.
"Yes. I kind of... well, I talked Professor McGonagall into taking me on for my final year. I mean, I did okay on the final exam last year..." No need to mention how I'd somehow managed to turn my skin faintly green when I was supposed to be changing my eye color, but overall, I'd done...okay.
"Well, I guess there's one more time I won't be able to stay out of your way," Potter says wryly, and dang it, but I laugh. Potter smirks at me.
But then his humor dies and he says seriously, "But really... be careful, Evans. Snape is bad news. I know you guys are friends, or whatever, but... he's Dark."
And now I'm annoyed all over again. "I think I can judge people for myself, thanks."
This time, when I pick up speed, he lets me walk the rest of the way to Transfiguration alone.