SKY's POV
Tricia finally reached me before I could get in the car. If I'm being honest, I didn't want to talk to her yet because I'm still angry and I'm not in the right state of mind. But she's too stubborn for her own good. And there's something in the way she said my name, it brought chills down my spine. It was gentle but firm. Enough to make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.
Now she wants to talk but I don't and I can't right now.
"Sky, please look at me." She said almost begging but still I didn't because I'm just as stubborn as she is. So she held my shoulders and turned me to face her in a little forcibly way. I can feel the part of my shoulders she holds burns in her tight grip.
"Please." She pleased more gently this time but with more fire.
So I as sha said, I looked at her but with glaring eyes. What I saw surprised me. Her hair is disheveled. She had puffy bags under her eyes and she looked paler than she usually is. In short, she looked so messed up and shit. But despite these, her eyes were alive unlike a few moments ago in the restaurant where I saw a picture of confusion in them, mix of emotions and indecisiveness. Now, those were all gone and replaced with certainty. Her eyes looked like the Rebecca I knew again.
Suddenly, I felt my anger lessen. But it's not gone, it's still there somewhere.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WA~"
"I love you Sky! I loved you 6 years ago and hell, maybe longer than that. I still love you even now." I heard her say and suddenly I froze.
TRICIA's POV
I felt Sky froze in my arms and I withdrew my hands from her shoulders to give her space right away. I felt myself starting to panic at what had came out of my mouth hut I choose to gulped down my fear and took a deep breath.
I already spilled my truth so why back down? I can't turn back now, right? I think this is it. It's about damn time to let her know.
But before I continue, I tried to stable my breathing first and calm my nerves. It's gonna be okay. After I get it all out of my system, I have to accept the fact that this is the last time I'm gonna talk about it and move on. After all, she have her own life to live with the person she love.
"In that dinner with our friends, I lied when the they asked me if I liked you back in college. Just because I knew it was going to complicate things between us. I'm your best friend and I don't want to mess your already planned life. I was probably assuming but I just really didn't want to admit it. And the reason why I left six years ago was because I was scared. I didn't deserve you, Sky. I know how cliché and how foolish that sounds to you but that was how I felt. I knew I couldn't make you as happy as Nico made you. And I didn't want to hurt you because of my foolishness. I couldn't afford it so I left."
I was looking at her straight in the eyes and her stares got heavier and heavier as the moment passed by until I saw anger swirl and flare around her eyes. But I continued.
"But believe me when I say I regretted what I did and that time of my life. But I was still just a naive girl then and I didn't know that I should have fought. I should have been honest and I should have faced how I felt. I kept saying that you deserved to be happy but deep inside of me, I should have been the one working hard to give you and make you just that. But then, like always , you're right. I was a coward and I'm so sorry that I didn't come through."
And now, here comes the difficult part.
"Then when I came back, I was not expecting to see you or any of the others again. But it happened and I couldn't stay away anymore. What happened the other day, when I kissed you, if I'm going to be honest, I's say that I don't regret that."
I saw her looked confused. She's probably been wanting to speak moments ago. Then she tried to open her mouth but I cut her off right away. I'm still not done.
"I am only sorry for making you feel like you cheated on Nico but I am not sorry for what I did because I love you, Sky. I always have and always will. But you already know that the moment I kissed you. I'm sure I made it clear at that moment."
After what I said, I fell silent and felt much lighter. It did feel good to say it, to admit it and to tell her my truth. In a matter of seconds, her eyes were constantly changing from one emotion to another and I can't follow. Then I felt a stinging pain in my left cheek when she palm landed on my face.
I looked at her in question, only to see coldness and hurt in her eyes.
"Love? You love me?? Are you fucking kidding me Rebecca!?" She shouted, asking me with sarcasm.
"What do you know about love huh??? Walking away after a kiss? Disappearing without a word? Do you know how stupid I felt after that night we kiss 6years ago?! I thought we were going to talk about it the next day, sort everything out, understand both sides but, turns out, you ran away!!! And now, you fucking kissed me again, maybe more than that happened if I lose my control, then what?? You disappeared, no calls, no anything. AGAIN!!! God, you're still the same immature and coward person! Nothing has changed since six years ago."
Her gaze was cold enough to send shivers down my spine. But, there was also hurt billowing her eyes that just rips apart every rebuttal I have.
"And wow. You were scared?!? But did it ever occur to you that I may also have been scared? That I need you to stay and tell me that everything's gonna be okay? That we can figure it all together? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I lo~" she angrily said but then stopped all of the sudden.
Tears are pooling down her cheeks and I felt a prick in my heart. I just couldn't see her welling up. I wanted to hold her, console her and wrap her in my arms. I tried to come close to her but she motioned her hand to stop me.
"You were unstable, Bec. You didn't know what you want, with your life and with everything you did. Sure, you had several ideas but you never stick to just one. So how was I to know that you really love me? But I hoped that it would all be okay. But, God, was I so wrong. Everything that happened between us probably was best."
Every word hit me like a brick. It hurt more coming from her.
"I didn't think..." I started but decided against it.
"I'm sorry." I said dejectedly instead.
There was nothing else I could say to defend myself because I knew they were true.
SKY's POV
I heard remorse in Tricia's voice. Maybe the most serious and genuine sorry I ever heard in my entire life and if I'm being honest, all I wanted to do now was touch her. I don't feel angry anymore because I have said all that I have kept bottled inside all these years. But I still can't take it. My heart kept pounding hard against my chest ever since she told me she still loves me. My face is now drying but still, there are tears that still threatening to fall from my eyes but I held them in. I won't cry anymore. Not in front of her.
"I know I couldn't defend myself anymore and there's nothing I can say to make things better. But I do love you and I'm so sorry for leaving, for being a coward now and even before but I love you and that's the truth." She said seriously.
There's that word again. I thought to myself as I close my eyes.
I saw her turned around and walked away. There's this crazy urge inside of me, wanting to hold her hand to stop her from walking away from me but I didn't.
Because I'm engaged and I know I will be happy. I convinced myself at least.
At the background, I saw Cassey with crossed arms and Tee who was frowning.
*FLASHBACK A WEEK AGO*
I froze when I felt Tricia's lips on mine. I didn't expect that and heart beat crazily in my chest. But I didn't know what gotten into me and I respond. I give in to the ecstatic feeling welling up in my body and forget about the engagement even though I knew that it would be wrong. She kissed me like a promise and I never tasted anything like that before. Not even Nico could get my body to react the way she did. Our tongue fight inside our mouth in dominance and I'm drowning in the sea of emotions and pleasure. Something that's been missing in my whole being for so long. I gave in. But when I felt her hand cupping my breast and trying to unbutton my her shirt on me, something clicked inside my brain. This is wrong. It cannot happen. I am getting married in few weeks and I... owe that to Nico at least. I cannot cheat on him. So I pushed Tricia with everything strength that I can gather from my body and I thanked God when she pulled away.
I can't believe I lost my control.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
It's the exact same feeling, except, more intense. I saw Tricia rode her car and drove away. Cassey walked towards me but I shook my head, stopping her to say anything in her mind and rode my car and drove away too.
I love you, Sky. I always have and always will.
I know I couldn't defend myself anymore and there's nothing I can say to make things better. But I do love you and I'm so sorry for leaving, for being a coward now and even before but I love you and that's the truth.
Her words keep echoing in my ears and they hurt so fucking bad. Then I felt my tears flowed out of my eyes again that I feel the need to pull over to let them all out at once. Because even how hard I kept wiping them, they won't stop.
It just hurts so much.
"I do love you too Rebecca. Always. And I hate you for being the only person I can love like this!!!" I finally admitted to myself.
I didn't deserve you, Sky. Her voice echoed in my thoughts again as an answer.
"Well, damn you!!!" I said as if I'm really having this mental argument.
And I cried and cried. Harder and harder until it stopped. But at least, that's what I believed. My tears never stopped.
Fuck.