I don't think she knows that I saw her when she woke up. But I did. I watched her as she watched the rain; her tears in sync with the rain. I felt like crying right there with her. But one of us had to stay strong. Just for the sake of sanity.
She cries so much now. I've never seen a soul so broken by... whatever has her upset. I know that the nightmares have taken a toll on her. But they're just nightmares. That's all she thinks they are. I guess I'm just a little confused on how she might see them any different.
Her face is so blank when she looks out that godforsaken window. The moon reflects off of the tears as they come tumbling down her face, making Scar seem like a dream. I want to jump out of the bed and hug her, comfort her, but I know that she needs space. That's all. Space.
So I just laid there, watching her.
She mumbled slightly, unrecognizable words, gibberish.
When she falls asleep I stand up and splash water on my face, a subtle reminder that I'm still alive and real. I look at my pale reflection in the mirror before turning off the bathroom light and lay back down in the bed.
I don't want to sleep.
One thing Scarlett doesn't know,
I've been having nightmares too.
And hopefully, she won't ever know.
There are people everywhere. I'm in a crowd too thick to see the end of. "Scar!" I felt her name leave my mouth but I never heard her name reach my ears.
"There she is!" Someone yells. I look in the direction of who said it. A man was pointing out in front of him, slightly up. "She's going to jump!"
I followed the man's finger to where he was pointing. A girl, black hair and colored strips blowing around her face, and white eyes. Those unmistakable white eyes.
Scarlett.
I started running, pushing people out of my way, to as close to the bridge as I could get. "Scar!" Again I felt her name leave my mouth but no sound followed. "SCARLETT!" I screamed as loud as I could.
I don't think Scar heard me, but she turned around me and locked eyes with me. "I'm sorry." Her eyes had tears and her face was pale. Her words were only a whisper.
Scar turned around and looked at the ice cold water below her. "I love you." I heard her whisper. She jumped.
"NO!" I didn't bother taking off my shirt, I just dove into the water. I swam to where Scar's body met the water. I dove down under, the ocean water burning my eyes, I searched for her.
Her hand, outreached to me, her body white as her eyes. She sank deeper and deeper. I didn't come up for air, I refused to until I found her.
I once read somewhere that it's impossible to hold your breath until you die. Instinct takes over and makes you take a breath.
I opened my mouth, trying to find a way to breath, taking in salt water that burned my lungs. My vision darkened to the point of blackness.
To the point of death.
I opened my eyes in a start, immediately reaching to where Scarlett laid in our bed, sleeping peacefully. My hand found its way to hers and I held her hand for a second, reminding myself that she's here and alive.
I took deep breaths until my breathing steadied.
"Chase?" Her voice was hoarse, like she had been screaming for hours.
"Yeah?"
"I had another nightmare,"
She had been screaming—and for who knows how long. "Do you want to tell me about it?" I squeezed her hand.
She shook her head. "No. I just want to forget about it." Scar curled into my body as I wrapped my arms around her. My heartbeat syncing with hers.
We fell asleep that way.