About 2 hours later Lyda's finally everything she's been looking for (the jumper excluded of course) and Phil is nowhere to be found.
For some reason he trusted me with his stuff so now I've got his record player held under my arm like it's made of pure gold and a bag of clothes I chose for him.
A few of the clothes such as the purple Gengar shirt and the Nyan Pops with a Nyan Cat promoting cereal on the front are just for fun. Sometimes it's nice to mess with Phil.
"Oh!" Lyda exclaims, a large smile growing on her face. She rushes towards a woman with a toddler on her hip and slightly older toddler pulling at her hair.
"Grace!" She calls, ecstatic, gathering the woman into quite a large hug.
"Lyda! What brings you to my neck of the woods?" The woman asks with a jolly laugh, backing away to rearrange her short blond curls.
"My exchange student for the year is shopping for school with me. Phil's gone off somewhere, but when isn't he?" Lyda lets out a hearty laugh and my eyebrow raises.
That seems kind of rude, oh shit, am I supporting Phil now? The image of Phil's bright eyes from that photo and his arms in black t-shirts and that cute little thing he does where his tongue pokes out and ugh. Yep, I am defending him because I think he's hot. I'm turning into a tumblr fangirl over Phil.
"Dan?" Lyda snaps her fingers over my eyes and I jump, laughing at my silliness after.
"Sorry. You were saying something?" I vaguely remember Grace's lips moving but I didn't listen in.
"I was asking where you are from. You don't sound very British." Grace answers, still smiling. She smiles a lot.
"Oh I'm from California."
"Ah, the city of bright lights. Don't bring any drugs into your school without my permission." She giggles, elbowing my side.
I can physically feel my walls sliding up, red lights flashing in my head. Danger danger uncomfortable.
"I'm going to- I'm going to find Phil, would that be alright?" I ask Lyda, already taking tentative steps away from the mismatched group.
"Yes of course, when you find him tell him we need to head out."
I nod, flashing them one correct smile before turning on my heel and rushing down the street. Where the hell I'm going I have no idea, somewhere away from that awkward conversation.
For some unknown my feet walk me straight into the Record Store, Julian hanging records from the wall while some song I know by heart starts to play.
This place has quickly become my safe haven, people always talk about that one place, the beach, a park, anywhere they feel accepted and loved unconditionally. And to me it's the old record shop on 64th Street that nobody would give a second glance.
"Eh, Little Bear. Back for the CD?" Julian jumps from his small step ladder right in front of my face.
"No I'm looking for Phil. I figured he may be around here?" I ask, trying to lean nonchalantly on the wall when my eyes catch an old vinyl in the back rows. "Holy cow you have Teenage Dirtbag here?"
"It is the jam of the lonely Little Bear. I think I saw Phil head towards the bathroom a few minutes ago. Funny how you and him always seem to find each other in the most unexpected of ways." Julian muses.
I slip the record player in my bag of clothing and pick up the vinyl. "2 pounds? C'mon Julian this is a classic. And why do you keep calling me little bear?"
"Well people don't own many record players. And I call you Little Bear because you remind me of Winnie the Pooh." Julian explains and takes the money I outstretch to him, a 10 instead of a 2.
"In what way?" I ask, squaring my shoulders and puffing out my chest to look stronger. Julian just laughs and ruffles my hair. Receiving a very convincing death glare on my part.
"You've got a big vocabulary and a big heart. Plus Phil called you that one time, don't ask me why. That kid is a weird one."
"Isn't that the best part though?" I mutter, blushing hard when it hits me how lovey dovey that sounded. "Anyway, I've got to go get him, we're leaving soon."
I head towards the back as Julian instructs me to the second door on my left. There are 6 doors in all and I kind of don't want to know what they lead too.
Pushing the door open I step inside, instantly met by a loud moan and somebody screeching. "Phil! Somebody's in here!"
The door slams way to loud to be inconspicuous and I shudder at the sound of a stall door hitting the wall.
Power walk Howell, power walk dammit. I boost myself and race forward and into the shop.
"Woah Little Bear, something got y-" Julian is, cut off by the bathroom door opening and I jump behind him for help.
"Ellery c'mon, we can talk this out." Phil pleads, a man running out of the store at the speed of light. The bell jingling long after he's gone. "Fuck."
Phil crumbles in a way I've never seen before, he hits the ground and begins breathing heavily, holding his legs tight to his chest with another round of curses muttered under his breath.
"Ph-?"
"Was it you?" His head swung to face me and I almost jumped when I saw what's in his eyes, tears.
"Phil I'm sorry. What happened?"
"I know. I know you're sorry. And I'm sorry too, Ellery is such a fucking jackass sometimes and I- I don't know anymore." He sighs, leaning on one of the rows of records. A few tears wetting the knee of his jeans.
"Oh Phil." I utter, sitting next to him and leaning in a dangerous proximity. "I told you he was an asshole. Why'd you go back?"
"I just... he's the only gay guy I know and it's. It's just nice to have someone there you know, and he's good in bed and I... I don't get it. One second I'll be trying to break up with him and the next we'll be fucking in a goddamn bathroom stall."
Phil grows quiet after that, staring sadly at his feet. I go to touch his shoulder but he shuffles and presses my palm to his cheek, nuzzling against it.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I ask.
"No, you wouldn't understand."
-~-
The record player works like a charm, the sound is a little scratchy but all in all I'm in love with it.
I'm currently lying on Phil's floor, player belting out 'Teenage Dirtbag' and I sing it softly under my breath.
Phil's on the bed looking through the things I bought him. I can tell what he likes by the approving hums and the sorrowful sighs that escaped him with every piece of cloth.
"What is this?" He exclaims, laughing to himself.
"The Pokemon shirt or the Nyan Cat?"
"Étrange, why in the world would you think I would wear these?" Phil laughs but I swear I hear his breath catch.
"When did you learn French Mr. Fancy Man?" I tease, setting the player on my tummy. The vibrations playing exactly to the beat and making me lay back with a blissful smile.
"My mo- Rose taught me." Phil says quietly, suddenly growing quiet.
"Oh." I answer, twiddling my thumbs nervously before asking. "If I'm not being to intrusive, what, happened to her?"
Phil grows uncharacteristically quiet (seriously I had no idea how much he talks until now) and I try to look over to him but at that exact moment he lays down next to me.
"You don't have to answer if you don't want to."
"No i-it's fine. Just not fun to talk about." Phil shrugs and I turn my head to see tears growing in his eyes.
"Okay, only... say what you need to." I answer and allow myself a glance to the hand resting and Phil's stomach.
"What's the point of saying what you need when you need to say everything?" Phil sniffs and for the first time ever I see his demeanor change. The person he pretends to be melting away and being replaced by a human. A sad, broken man with a story deeper than a 20 foot pool, jump in too quickly and you drown.
"I was born on February 29th, 2 minutes exactly after midnight. They say that is my greatest gift and my most disastrous curse. They said the date made me one of the most specialist babies in the entire place and with that joy came a great downfall, I would never grow old as the others. Hell I'm technically 4 and a fucking half right now, and they said it was a metaphor for who I would mold into growing up. I would be a gift and a curse for everyone stuck with my presence. So I became a curse to avoid the gift part. Because even when I was 9 fucking years old I knew that a gift only makes a curse that much worse."
A tear rolled down my cheek and I told him my story. The story of the news man and the £5 and the life once lost. And for the rest of that time all we shared were stories talking and talking and talking.
It was bliss.
And 3 hours later Phil's curse seemed to kick in and loud knock rang from the window pane.
"Hey fag! Open the fucking window!" One of the Harries (I can't tell them apart) screamed at us.
Phil and I sat up in complete sync, both our gazes stuck to the dark window. When did the sun go down?
The word pinged around my head, each hit like a baseball bat landing on the inside of my brain.
Phil seemed to brush it off but I knew what was happening.
The words bounced around before I caught and read what they were trying to say.
Trigger word
Now, I don't have this type of reaction all the time. Normally I brush it off and tell the speaker to suck my di.ck, yet today. Today I couldn't handle it.
I felt more open and free than ever and suddenly my heart was taken and thrown to the floor like some useless rag.
Wait. Heart. No my heart, soul, being, my mind was ripped from itself only to be destroyed by one goddamn word.
Guess this means I'm the lucky kid. Destined to always be a fuck up.
Trigger trigger trigger
"What do you bitches want?" Phil asks, he kicked the record player under his bed.
He didn't even bother to hide me, save me. He stopped acting like I was a person and that, that hurt more than the fucking word.
"Don't be so snappy, we're going to go have a little bit of fun. Thought maybe you and your butt buddy would like to join."
"Dan. Go to your room."
"You are kidding right?" I snap back immediately, sitting up with a glare on my face.
That word had ignited fire in me and I intended to use it.
"Yes. Go. I don't want you here anymore."
"Don't be such a cock." I mummer and move to my feet.
"Yeah Phil, don't be such a cock. Let him play with us." Jack snickers and I flip him the bird.
"Ohh." Both boys chorus and I glare at the ground, speed walking out of there fast as I can.
I slam the door and cut Jack off before he can say anything to make me feel worse.
Phil yells something and then his bedroom door flies open. I jump forward out of instinct and turn to see Phil walking towards me.
"Jack and Finn are bitches, they will ask you questions about me, they will talk about Ellery, they don't know my sexuality. If they make you sad their first names are Jackson and Finnegan. Come with me." Phil turns and heads down the stairs.
"Wait, why?" I follow obediently. "Don't tell me you're making me hang out with them."
"They want to meet you. They will fuck you over if they think I don't like you." Phil answers and pushes my hair farther down my forehead.
"And that means you like me." I smile mischievously. Phil only sighs.
"Don't overuse that right Howell."
"Oh I'm sorry my best bestie friend buddy bud." I giggle and Phil sighs again, though I hear the sound of a short laugh peeking through.
Phil opens his front door and there stands the devil split into two separate people. "Philly! You should introduce us to this boy over here."
The boys jump on me in a second, two arms wrapping around either of my shoulders.
I straighten like a plank of wood and shuffle uncomfortable, Phil catches me giving him a 'help' look.
"That's Dan Howell. He's an exchange student from L.A." Phil shrugs and starts to the door.
The doorway forces us to break apart and I let out a sigh of relief.
"L.A?" Jack (or maybe Fin) I have no idea who is who. He looks quite interested suddenly.
"Well actually San Fransisco but if your from California you just say L.A, it's easier that way."
One of the other twins is giving me a curious look. "Have I seen you before?" He asks and I feel my skin turn cold and start prickling.
"Um no, if course not." I laugh hoarsely and look straight ahead.
The party, he's talking about the party when I helped out that girl in the woods. Was it Heather or her sister? Shit I can't even remember her name and I saw her yesterday. Why are there so many twins in this town anyway.
"Hmm, alright." He goes back to smiling and they run up to Phil this time.
"Where are we going?" They ask Phil in unison.
God there like the 5 siblings from Code Name Kids Next Door. I shudder at the thought and walk next to the group.
"Oh let's go to the park," Jack/Fin says and I take note of his all black attire while the other has a silver jacket.
"Jack we are not going to the park with that nark here. He'll tell on me for sure." Phil growls and glares at me.
Alright so all black clothes in Jack. This is good information.
We keep on walking before Fin finally says. "Let's go around for pizza then."
Pizza, I can do pizza, pizza's good.
"Nah, that fag Chris is working today." Jack answers and I clench my fist. Way to go, saying fag really upped your cool points dick wad.
"I'm fucking hungry." Phil answers and walks up to the Victorian house from before. "Who's driving?"
"I got it." Jack answers and shoves his brother from the door of a Black Ford-- holy shit.
"Is this a Mustang?" I ask and barely ghost the outside. I briefly remember car shopping with my parents and coming across this very car. This car is $28,300!
"Yeah." Jack says proudly and Fin rolls his eyes.
"We share it, technically." He says and Jack glares at him. "Shotgun!" Fin yells seeing Phil at the passenger side door.
Phil sighs and slams the door. He sits in the back and I follow without much thought.
Now the real interrogation begins.
I smile at Phil and he silent mouths 'remember the rules.' I nod even though I hate those rules and relax against the soft tan interior.
"So Dan. How have things been going in the house?" Fin asks and turns his head to look at me.
"Good, I've set up everything and-" then it hits me why those bastards remember my face. It wasn't the woods it was the fucking fire alarm. Shit, why did I agree to this sick game?
"And?" Fin stresses and I shrug.
"That's kind of it." I giggle and will my mouth. Play dumb Dan, play dumb.
"So... have you met Ellery yet?"
I almost splutter, not expected them to throw me into that position so quickly. "No. Who is that?"
Phil leaves a sift hit to my stomach, the action goes unnoticed by the devil twins.
"Our brother who Phil hangs out with and never tells us about." Jack answers blissfully driving down the street into the main part of town.
I raise an eyebrow at Phil and he shrugs. We are definitely having a talk after this.
"Oh that's... cool I guess" I answer, not quite knowing what to say. How does Phil talk to these people? I have no idea what to say to them.
A few moments of silence pass before Fin asks Phil. "Hey, why didn't you go to the party yesterday?"
There was a party yesterday? Jesus is partying all they do in this town?
"Busy. I had to go shopping with my parents then I got grounded." Phil shrugs and the only thing that draws my attention is the word "parents" I shake the upcoming thoughts from my head and classify it as 'Mystery surrounding Phil #4,000,000.'
"Sucks. You left early too, missed out on the dog hunt." Fin looks back to the windshield before adding under his breath. "The dog got away though."
Jesus now their calling her a dog. Why again did I get in this car full of strangers. Even with Phil I feel make I'm going to be murdered by somebody.
"Sucks man. Dan didn't feel good so we split." Phil answers and I can feel his eyes boring into the side of my head.
It's in that moment that I finally realize why Phil has dragged me here, I'm his scapegoat. I'm the man Phil is using to take all the heat off him with and if I say anything I may as well set off a bomb.
"Yeah my head felt like hell." I put my hand over my stomach to prove a point.
"You were at the party Howell? I didn't see you where were you hanging out?" Jack asks and turns into the parking lot of a pizza place. The restaurant is stuffed between a sewing shop and a bookstore. It's made completely of brick with a red over awning. On the ceiling sits an outdoor eating area with the skeleton of a building on top, red lights strung around each pole and already glowing in the red and blue sky.
"I didn't go to the backyard to much." I shrug and follow everyone out of the car.
Jack moves to stand next to me and Fin gets Phil, they walk in behind us and I catch the name of the place. 'Liguori's Pizzeria.'
"Phil!" The man behind the bar exclaims and walks to us. He gives Phil a large toothy grin and his warm brown eyes land on mine.
"Hey Barty." Phil waves and the twins already look bored out of their minds.
"Table for four please. Two large pepperoni and sausage pizzas with four Cokes." Jack says and the man glares at him a bit before nodding.
"Pick any seat in the house."
Jack pushes me into the very back of the place, we walk past lots of tables and he leads me up to the roof.
We choose a picnic table in the far corner, sitting down with the twins on one side and - thankfully - Phil and I on the other.
Not many people are up here, which I'm not surprised by since the only means of cooling us from the stuffy summer air is a machine that sprays mist on us every few minutes.
"Anyways, there's this new place down on the corner of West and Maine we were thinking of going to later. You guys in?" Fin asks.
Phil answers for the both of us, thankfully. "Probably not, my folks are mad enough I'm gone with Dan."
I raise an eyebrow, I didn't think they would be mad we left. I slip my phone out of my pocket and look at my notifications from under the table. I need to refresh my Farmville crops. Somebody named 'assntits-and-mathforkicks' reblogged every post I've ever made. And I have two missed messages from Lyda.
'Where r u? Dinner's ready.'
'Did Phil force you out? Are u ok?'
I quickly type a reply to her. 'I'm fine, we're getting pizza.' Purposely leaving out anything to do with the Harrie's twins as I'm still on the rocks about them.
She texts back, my phone beating the default melody I have yet to change. I don't answer it this time though because somebody is walking over with our drinks.
"Oh, hi Chris!" I greet him and Phil's jabs my ribs, hard.
I yelp in surprise, jumping forward and turning to glare at him. 'What the hell?' I mouth and he points to his phone.
Chris sets two of our drinks on the table and slides them towards the Harrie's brothers. I look down to read Phil's text while mine is served.
'How the hell do you know Chris?'
'We met at the party, nothing special.'
'It's pretty damn special. They hate Chris, you're fucked.'
'Whatever.'
"Ahem." One of the two pipes up and we look at him. "Are you two, like, texting each other."
"No." Phil says quickly.
"We're in a group chat with Lyda. She's losing her marbles." I save us both quickly and stuff my phone back in my pant pocket.
"Oh. Well tell her to fuck off our good vibes mate." Fin laughs and pushes three flasks on the table. "Sorry Dan, I've only got three."
"It's fine. I'm not that into beer anyway."
Both of the Harries snort, Jack re-whispering the same word under his breath.
I just roll my eyes and take a sip of the drink in front of me in order not to say anything horrid.
Phil opens his flask with ease and downs it while Jake opens a pack of cigarettes.
"Want one?" He shives the box into my hands and lights his up.
I flash Phil a side glance and he looks bewildered as if this has never happened before. "N-no thanks."
He gives me a look and stuff the box back in his breast pocket. "Suit yourself."
A few minutes of silence later Chris heads back towards us, two pizzas in each hand. Jack and Fin whisper to each other, snickering.
I keep my head down and don't say anything, Jack laughing again. "Hey Twig!" He calls. Chris doesn't say anything and sets the pizza's done about to turn and walk off when Jack flings his entire cup of Coke straight into his face. "Ah jesus! What the hell!"
Jack, Fin, and Phil break into loud laughter, doubling over.
"What the hell is wrong with you people." I jump from my chair and grab Chris's shoulder to keep him from stumbling off the balcony.
"It's all in good fun Dan. Quit being so uptight." Fin rolls his eyes and looks to Phil for agreement. Phil can only smile and nod, a warning in his eyes.
"I can't wait until you assholes live alone and friendless until your thirty and put bullets through your heads." I help Chris move along and back towards the steps. He mutters curses the entire way.
"I'm hurt Howell. Truly hurt."
"Fuck you." I slam the roof's door shut.
"God what assholes." Chris mumbles. "Phil force you with them?"
"Yeah. I feel kind of bad leaving him alone with those two."
Chris burst into laughter, leading me into a kitchen area and he gets a few extra napkins.
"What. He's nice when he's not acting like stage Phil."
"And what exactly is stage Phil?" Chris asks and rubs at his face with the cloth.
"It's the Phil he is to protect himself, a shell. Nothing to special. Kind of like a cockroach."
"Okay you can't tell me Phil is nice and then refer to him as a cockroach." Chris laughs and throws the napkins in the garbage can. He glares at the drink now staining his white shirt's collar.
"Well that's all I've gotten from him so far. It's pretty obvious that shit went down for him and he's afraid of it for some reason. I'd like to know why." I play with my fringe and decide to keep it at the length Phil set it at before.
"Hmm. Hey, you wanna see something that may help sort it out?" Chris asks and heads for another set of stairs in the far side of the kitchen.
"Oh, sure." I follow him and scroll through my phone. Finding over 8 notifications from Phil. I set my phone away and groan at the thought of what he'll say later.
"Your not going to kill me right?"
"No, I only kill on Saturdays and Fridays, gotta keep a tight schedule you know?"
I laugh and follow him through a living room and up a short set of stairs. Man, this house must be hell for the owner's legs.
Chris comes to the last room and smiles at me. "And before you ask I am not going to hurt you. My friend's dad owns this place and they live up here."
With that Chris pushes the door open and I see somebody staring out the window behind their white bed covered in watercolor splatters.
"Hey Peej. I made a friend." Chris announces and hops on the the bed.
"Oh, cool." The boy answers and sets a book on the ledge in front of his window.
"Hi." I say awkwardly, giving a small wave before shoving my hands back in my pockets.
"Hey. I'm PJ nice to meet you." He smiles and waves curtly.
"Aw what a beautiful exchange. Dan here saved my ass from the Tweddle Dee and Tweddle Dum."
"Well not technically." I rub the back of my neck. I just told them to fuck off."
"You told them to fuck off? That's awesome!" PJ exclaims and I pull myself on the bed.
To say it was unexpected would be an understatement. But I am proud to say I kept my mouth shut and my face emotionless. I sit back on the bed and say nothing, PJ rolling towards us in his wheelchair and tightening the bandana tighter around his head.
"Yeah I thought Phil was going to rip his throat out." Chris laughs and I groan.
"Shit. I forgot about Phil, he was my ride." I read through his messages, all of which were not the most welcoming.
"It's fine. I can drive you." PJ offers and I fall silent, giving him a bewildered look. Is the wheelchair a hoax? Do I laugh?
"Yes PJ we will place him in your lap and I'll roll you down a hill." Chris scoffs.
"Hey it's a considerable plan," PJ leans his head on the bed cover. "Well make it a couple feet before a car smashes us."
"It would be a nice way to go." Chris muses and waves his hand to signify imaginary letters. 'Here lies Dan and PJ, lost to a hardcore stunt. Like it was seriously sick mate.'
"At least I'll die knowing I died rad." I join in, beginning to feel a little left out and they both laugh.
"That indeed, that indeed."
-~-
-~-
PJ's legs don't work like they used to before.